Page generated in 0.046 seconds
Total duration
983 users online
2,205,039 hits today, 2,454,720 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ok seriously dude, you need to stop fucking uploading entire stories as chapters. We want our Stories to be story-length and our Chapters chapter-length! When the hell am I suppossed to find time to read 21k words in a row?
10k word chapter? = Nice and meaty!
20k word chapter? = How the hell am I suppossed to use this? Do you have a NON-Family size?
2371792 Go complain on Wanderer D's story, "The Sweetie Fragments" and see if people give a shit.
Because I clearly don't.
2371792
For one, there are no easy breaking points. If I broke chapter 5 even more then I'd have a new chapter for each discussion. Plus, 20k works works out to just over 30 pages which isn't that unusual for a novel. (Good lord, I can't believe I just compared my writing to a novel!)
2371854
Please rephrase your post. I don't mind disagreement, but yours crosses in to insulting.
Bet the changeling invasion hadn't happened yet in Etherea's reality.
2371792
Clearly you have not read stories with 40k word chapters, like Background Pony. 20k is pretty lengthy but is hardly unmanageable. You just need to find the time to sit down and plow through it.
2371943 I'm so sorry.
My left my friend alone for a few minutes, and I caught him when he posted the comment. Sorry if you or the person felt like I was a douchebag, because clearly, my friend is one. Now, if you excuse me, I have someone's ass I need to kick....
Oh my god, finally an update! and what an update. But you made me suffer with a long wait so I'm just gonna leave this comment with not actual review.
2371854 That was clearly a joke, foal.
2371943
Exactly!! A novel, which I can bookmark mid-chapter! But yeah, as I said above, it was a joke... mostly. Kinda had to reread the previous chapter after the long update time and that brings it to 34k... I just finished that and it's 1:43am... now to read this chapter! SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!! LIKE THAT GUY!*points at random brony*
2371979 Since Etherea is shining Armour and Cadence's 20something daughter... I'm pretty sure their wedding has happened.
2372034 Or just read it on my Kindle where I can bookmark mid-chapter.
2372039 A friend on your account... a likely story...
just calling it-
etherea is totally shining armor and cadence's daughter
2372138 I'm dead serious.
In fact, my friend loves trolling me like that all the time....Makes me wonder why I still hang out with him....
While Alex is adorably nerdy, you spend a little too long going for those long loving looks at this point. I get that he's a furry. I get that he likes a strange piece of ass/flank. It's getting to be some what comedic at this point and I'm finding it harder and harder to take serious as time goes on. I realize it's part of his character but the repetition of it isn't very compelling reading and he's acting like a boy with a crush on a girl he knows more than the confused guy dealing with some strange emotions that I think you're trying to portray. I figured he'd have to get past the 'she might kill me' stage before thinking too much about the 'hot pony ass' part.
I do find it appropriate that you are having him consider his own attraction to her in the form of introspection. I wish you had spent more time on that.
Craig is amazing as you've written him. Easily the most dynamic and captivating character in the story by far. I will be sorely disappointed if he doesn't one morning he cook bacon and eggs while drinking a beer and offer Etherea a portion. I almost wish he was the protagonist rather than Alex, he's got so much more of a dynamic, captivating characterization.
That all aside I didn't find the chapter boring, but I like scene/background/setting building. We've learned a bit more about the characters, we saw how your story compares to the canon stuff (and is quite interesting, please don't worry about sticking too much to canon, that's why we write fanfiction after all), got the meat discussion (booooo! This should totally come up at some point again! Preferably with Craig eating a steak), and the beginnings of establishing trust between the two protagonists.
Still enjoying the good story, keep it up (more Craig!)
This story is very good, but I have a question: If the show has been pretty much accurate when it describes Equestrian history, will it also describe Discord's reform, and Twilight's becoming a princess?
Well now, I'm wondering how this will play out now that some of Season 3 isn't cannon in this universe? Quite interesting indeed.
Do continue good sir.
2372139 Huh, I just checked and.. it really didn't explicitly say that did it? I could have sworn it did... and... now I'm starting this chapter at 2:09am. I gotta get more focused.
Awww yeah! I am loving this chapter. I like how everything is paced and moving along. Not too fast, not too slow. Not too vague and not too detailed either. Nicely balanced. Looking forward to another awesome chapter!
2372204
yeah I'm wondering about that too. I think she said that Discord is still in stone. So that would mean that season 3 is very inaccurate or that it hasn't happened yet and is predicting the future. She didn't refer to Twilight as a princess i don't think so most likely, yeah... season 3 didn't come out yet. or was WAY off in its depiction, or has foreseen the future.
2372168
Hmmmm.
I was trying to play up Alex realising his attraction, finding it alarming, and trying not to think about it too much. If you notice he finds himself looking, but then shoving that to the back-burner when he notices and not actually dealing with it. It's only been a few hours and there are more much important things to do at the moment.
However, if you think there are any specific problems with that portrayal, then let me know. This is a major point of the story, so I want it to work.
2371979 Actually I think that her time frame is from the far future of the show. She talks about CMC as though they were grown up and she talks about certain events like they were before her time. My money on why she wants to see the Wedding Episode is because she wants to see how well we captured the events of her parents wedding ceremony.
Yeah but there was a way for him to explain it away. Just say they had a technological universal translator that is limited to text the way her magical universal translator is limited to verbal communications.
2372281 I always put my trolling in all red so that it is more obvious that I'm not serious. I used to include the dancing Discord emoticon as well but it doesn't work well with the new image system.
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-slick.png
^^See what I mean?^^
She's Shining daughter, isn't she.
Finally! My most fave story gets an update! Now time to start reading this monster chapter!
Edit: this may have been just filler but i was thouroughly entertained, and the way etherea explained how events that taken place were MUCH more terrifying then the show interpets not to mention the events leading up to it was very pleasing to read!
the depiction of the actual nightmare moon sounds more "real life" like. Which is awesome.
A being that can negate sunlight itself and suck in all light around herself depicted realistcly thats terrifying to think about, same with discord if you think about it in a more "real life" scenerio.
Heh i was amused as etherea said it wasnt only the long hair that confused him for female but the full lips as well (i have fuller lips then most guys as well :P)
I swear i can relate to him so well...both physically and pretty much personality wise good lord. XD now i cant qait for part 2!
Great chapter as always. However, that said, you were about as subtle regarding Etherea's heritage as a sledgehammer to the face. It doesn't have to announce its coming, because you see it coming a mile away! Not that's necessarily a bad thing, but few authors I read/ I've read, write in such a way. Though, I suppose it doesn't really detract from the story, so...yeah. It comes down to style and who am I to talk about unusual writing styles?
I.e. Interesting chapter, I can't wait for Pt. 2!
This is gonna end with Alex and Craig smashing in Etherea's skull with a sledgehammer once she makes the innocent offer of bringing Equestria's harmony to earth, isn't it?
2373120
godlikeproductions.com/sm/custom/kmdlnpct.jpeg
2373433
It's what happened last time I read a fic of a pony Princess ending up on earth in the company of two males. Can't blame a man for being cautious.
Damn... I acquired a bunch of dislikes last night. And no responses as to why. That's frustrating. Is it the alicorn OC? Is it the lack of dry-humping after a few hours of knowing each other?
2372139 2372334>>2372564>>2372957
Aw. Was it the blue hair and violet eyes? :p Since everyone is pretty much assuming the truth already I'll just say that y'all caught me. In my defense there was a very limited pool of character choices that would be able to fill Etherea's slot without writing something completely out of the blue.
And the scene in chapter four is probably the sledgehammer. I've always been a little bothered that I'd written in her age. It was a very off the wall comment, even considering how strung out she was.
2372223
People were already assuming that? Hmmmm.
2372533
Actually, it was less to do with the texts themselves and more to do with all the little things he was doing. The texts were her biggest clue, but he wasn't acting entirely like he knew nothing about ponies.
One of the subtler things was that she had to learn he was a "human."
Also, he definitely didn't make the right choice when confronted.
2373120
Oh you read that one too? I don't do "bad end" stories.
2372306
I'll reread it with a critical eye this afternoon and see if I can figure out in particular what got me.
2373475
Yeah, I read that one too and wasn't much a fan of it. But if you don't do "bad end" stories, then you've eased all my worries and I can now enjoy this wonderful story to the fullest. I also envy your ability to write chapters of 20.000+ words. My record is somewhere around 10.000.
Looking forward to further updates.
Oh my gosh, finally this has been updated
Chapter felt a little slow, but it wasn't boring to me. Your interpretation of this Equestria is rather interesting. I don't think this form of Discord could survive in this Earth. He seems to be designed to be a harmony disease meant to infect Equestria.
2373475
i don't truly mind the idea of the oc alicorn being of shinning and cadence that much but... doing that might raise some potential plot holes or canon story-line inconsistencies. 'specially given how old she is. how long ago in the real equestria did the events portrayed in MLP show take place? how old is she? how old would that make the Mane 6? They just simply older? full on old and decrepit? long dead (too sad for me to contemplate)? what crazy events have taken place since then? is season three right out and gone in this universe?
other than that, i can't imagine the hate. maybe the confusion around the relation between 'harmony' and magic as we know it? the lack of clop so far? (i'm not that big on clop myself [except with xenophillia]), that it takes place on earth instead of equestria? idk, but as for me I still like what's going on here. :D
Pfft. She thinks her world has it bad?
I simply cannot wait to see her reaction to the horrors that we can create without even flinching.
There is a reason why I like FiM, and that is because of it's lighthearted tone.
So peaceful, so serene. Something that I have not been expose to since childhood.
If she were to learn how some who lost their fellow comrades in battle rely on it, I would like to see her reaction.
2373475 To be fair, it wasn't that obvious that she's Shining's and Cadence's daughter, I just managed to piece it together through simple deduction: she's from the future of the show, is on first name basis with the Mane 6 and their friends and family, only knows the events of the first two seasons through second hand to third hand knowledge meaning that she probably wasn't born yet, and she seems heavily interested in Shining and Cadence's wedding. All of this together means that there is a pretty good chance that she is their daughter or, as some sort of bizarre twist, Shining and Chrysalis's daughter.
So how much of Season 3 are you using? It sounds like Discord is still locked up so either you're not using that much of it or he fell off the bandwagon and went evil again.
I think that the reason you suddenly got so many down votes was because they're the kind of people who see that it's a romance story between a pony and a human and immediately down vote without looking.
2373629
You should have seen my posts to the Days of Wasp and Spider April Fools chapter. If you didn't know, it incorporates a bad end for characters that I really like (but you can't tell it's a joke until the author's notes), and my normal reaction is "to jump in to the story, grab the character, and yank them out to place where the ending can't happen. It distresses me that I can't actually do that." I could never write myself in to that position. I may write characters in to horrible situations, but it's only so that I can get them out of them.
2374291
I've thought a lot about those questions. I couldn't very well write this without doing so. I hope people are okay with the answers.
2374713
Crysalis' daughter? I might have to rewrite some things... hmmmm... And as to how much of the show I'm using and why, that will eventually be revealed.
It's frustrating to me to see a slew of new dislikes. There are some things I'm doing wrong on purpose because the story is built around them (alicorn OC, etc), but there are plenty of things I'm sure I can fix. I just don't know what people don't like about it.
2375781 Like I said in my post, I'm not sure there would be anything you could do to make them to change their votes. They probably gave you the dislikes because they don't like the basic premise of the story and the fact that it made front page.
2375871
Every story makes the front page when it updates. How long it stays depends on how fast other things pop up. I would hope that wouldn't matter, 'cause it's a stupid reason to downvote.
I love it. Love the .. all the things!
Story isnt rushed time-wise so character get to interact and "grow", especially early on in their relationship where every little thing/detail they learn about each other matter.
Your take on equestria's history (through Etherea) is interesting.
Characters reactions and actions make sense. Even when they do something stupid, it feels natural.
Good flow that doesnt leave me asking "god is it going anywhere?".
Is the story using Season3 ?
2376086 He's not saying yet on how much of season 3 he's using.
Actually, horses are not "digitigrade".
Canines, felines, and volucrines are "digitigrade", which means "walking on digiti" (toes and fingers).
Equines, bovines, ovines, cervines, camelines, swines, and hircines (among others) are "unguligrade", which means "walking on ungulae" (hooves and claws).
Meanwhile, hominines, murines, ursines, didelphines, procyonines, macropodines, mephitines, and erinaceines are "plantigrade", which means "walking on plantae" (soles and heels).
2376920
Well I learned a new word today. I thought digitigrade described the relative shape of the leg, not just how much of the "foot" touched the ground. I'll have to do something about that.
2373539
I think I know what it was. A lot of my wording had him worried about being caught rather than worried that he was looking in the first place. He should be more worried about himself at this point.
2377322
Actually, you don't. You might know that now, but your character doesn't necessarily know that...
2377332
I understand that, however at that point he's narrating and relying on innacurate descriptions without an in-story reason is confusing.
2377412
Unrelated, but I think it would be interesting if Alex spoke more about astronomical topics with Etherea. Particularly if he mentions how old the universe is thought to be (~13.7 billion years, an amount of time she might have trouble conceptualizing even if she is an alicorn, because even Celestia speaks about 1000 years as if it is a long time to her), which leads to the topic of the expansion of the universe; and then entropy comes up, which leads to thermodynamic equilibrium (heat death) and the Big Rip hypotheses... which, just as the reveal of the sun being nothing more than a "humongous constant explosion" did, causes Etherea to flip the fuck out, because she mistakenly believes that she's living on borrowed time, that everything could spontaneously quantum disassemble at any moment, and that she can't do anything to stop it.
———That is, until Alex mentions that, should such an event actually occur in the future, it wouldn't happen for... oh, easily in excess of 10¹⁰⁰ years (that's a googol, or ten thousand quadrillion sextillion octillion decillion years), which causes Etherea to give Alex a glare that says "then why did you bother to tell me about it?"
...I dunno, it just seems to fit this story.
2372334
2372138
Lol guess I forgot those were her parents, It's been so long since I had read the first 4 chapters that I hardly remembered what was going on before the newest chapter.
2377634 Her parentage hadn't been confirmed until recently in the comments section, before then we were just guesstimating, but the other stuff at least points to her being from the show's future.
2377322
I think that's it. Especially with the darth vader comments.
Well I got around to reading the chapter. It's always awkward as hell when ponies learn about MLP:FIM (because I feel so fucking sorry for them, haha), but Etherea seems to be taking it pretty well and realistically. I also like the way you've got the legit Equestria deviating from that which is portrayed in the cartoon. What you've got is an interesting take on things I think.
This was a loooong chapter... but I liked it, can't wait for part 2! ^^
Dangit! How can a fic with OC be so frikking awsome!!??
That. Is. The. BEST. Possible. Sentence. Ever. Spoken.
EVER.
Just a question: Is this story going to be based before the events of season 3?