• Member Since 13th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 20th, 2013

Insane Leaf Sonata


T

It started out as a normal day for Rarity, Aloe, and Lotus. The only problem is, after a malfunctioning mist spell for the spa occurs, all three are sent to the human world and are found by three college students. Who caused Rarity's spell to malfunction? How will three human turned ponies cope in a new world? NOT PONYFALL. Permission granted from theslorg. So that means shut up Yozzoy. Edited by: Sanity

Collab fic between:
Xaxalot2774,
Leafz Pegasus,
Sanity.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 54 )

Who caused Rarity's spell to malfunction?

>Sees Discord in character tags
Well, that answers that question.

This story falls into the "telling, not showing" trap. It reads like a script.

Other than that, it looks resonable.

It sounds like it has promise, but I'm not sure about the romance tag... (I'm not sure about any romance tag though so... yeah :derpytongue2:)

What a rip, try thinking of an original idea there chucklenuts. And if you're going to rip off something do it well

“Are you guys honestly thinking these girls are ponies? This isn’t a fanfic.” Yes it is.:pinkiehappy:

Lyra was rather good at her job as an archeologist, and she was also a pretty good cook and business pony to run a café as well, but to get into a conversation about her work with her was just idiotic. She would always go on about these mythical creatures called ‘humans’ and always saying how much more advanced they were than us and how they walked on two legs, blah blah blah.

NEVER do that in front of me. Seriously, if you got nothing else to write then period and nothing else, 'kay?
<<FAST EDIT>>
Also, bland as shit for me.

-ohmy, professional asshole and critic faggot.

1444058 are you sure? since Fimfiction took out are ability to put more than 5 character who knows if it wasn't someone else?

1444065 I'll tell Leafz, he'll do something about HIS chapter. Thanks for the comment

1444081 thank you :twilightsmile:

1444177 love is everywhere buddy! Can't you feel the love tonight!~

1444581 what are we ripping off actually? 'i'll tell you something, everything as already been invented now a days, are consoles have a hard time to be better, art is done, we already have all the inventions for cooking we'd ever need, so originality is done, we did are best.

1444607 hahahaha! how many times in this story are we going to break the third wall? Or is it the second one?

1444877 can I tell you a secret? This is the first chapter... there's nothing good in those and you should know that by now! but I do admit that Blah blah blah at the end was to much or just misinterpreted. thanks for you critic you brought a valid point :twilightsmile:

1445195 I'm....I'm suprised....
I'm suprised that you didn't throw a tantrum at all those comments.
I'm suprised that you talked it out like a mature person.
Maybe not everything in this world is shit.

1445237 you have the same view as me, this world is turning to shit but little things in this world are worth living for :twilightsmile:

REASONABLE FEEDBACK IS GOOD FEEDBACK

I'm gonna have to re-write this, aren't I?

Leafz is re-writing the chapter on Wednesday

Forever a DJ isn't THAT good...

Anyway, I'll be busy now! Writing chapter 8 of FaDJ and re-writing Chapter 1 of this story...1446383

1445567 Didn't get that last part about your real account, but to clarify, there are only 10-15 Ponyfall Official fics, another 5ish if you consider the "Approved spin off ones".

Why do I get dragged into stuff like this? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png

Okay, for the record:

PonyFall does not have a monopoly on the Pony-on-Earth genre. We might be one of the most popular collaborations, but that doesn't entitle us to anything other than making sure people don't use the name just to get popular. With that said, I don't see 'PonyFall' written anywhere on this, so chill out Yozzoy.

I read a little bit of it. It's not quite what I'd want in our collaboration, but that doesn't mean anything. There are problems that other readers have already pointed out, and some they didn't. No matter, it already looks like you've decided some re-writing is in order.

My guess is that Leafz Pegasus got a little inspiration from PonyFall, considering the fact that he's been reading some of them. I'm 100% okay with that. If people can be inspired by what we do, that's fantastic and should be encouraged (as long as it's not a blatant rip-off, which this is not).

TL:DR version - Carry on and have fun.

1451466

Cuz it's written very well,... can't argue with a well written story! :pinkiehappy:

1445237
Ohmy, to your second comment, the key is....
LOVE AND TOLERATE!!!!
gah, my favorite phrase.
And to The Slorg
HOLYCRAPICANNOTBELIEVETHATYOUREADTHEFICIEDITEDANDYOURAWESOMEHGSHGGEDDHJKS:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp:ERMAHGERD!
so, that wasn't the most literate thing ever but its still the author of my favorite fic!
And to everypony else,
I hope to get chapters out faster in about 4 weeks when i finish football.
Then maybe i'll help writing, not just changin around a couple words!:twilightsmile:

1444607
Thanks, my one contribution to this chapter :twilightsheepish:

1459244 that's my plan, all 649 of 'em!
I'm not kidding... I'll do that and get my reward!

It appears that no one is receiving a cookie from me. :derpytongue2:

Was it Lotus? Oh, and 700 bucks!!! Alex, you made a biiiiiiiig mistake there.:facehoof:

I meant did Lotus say: "Give us food already!"? Or am i wrong?:rainbowhuh:

Lol the bill.:rainbowlaugh: can't wait for next chapter:pinkiehappy:

1518102 COOKIE :rainbowkiss: Om nom nom nom nom. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

1518102 you made me hungry...... damn you..........................







\Axa/

When and if this story comes off hiatus,
expect the quality to be much higher.

I myself have written three other stories in the time and my writing has improved significantly.

As I said above, I'll write a story similar to this later, after I'm not drowning myself in my own stories, and it will be written will higher quality and longer chapters!

Once again, I'm sorry for any let downs because of the hiatus

Login or register to comment