Chapter 1
Twilight Sparkle was sick, not the sniffles and itchy throat kind of sick, like the week after Winter Wrap Up. That had been a long week indeed.
Thinking back made Twilight groan, and she thought to herself why did I give up so quickly on my saddle? Running around all day in without a scarf wasn't one of my better ideas.
Her groan turned into a giggle as she remembered the rest of the day. Though ending up inside a snowpony after trying out ice skating with Pinkie didn't do me any favors.
Winter Wrap Up had been a lot of fun; finding a way to fit in and help the whole community had done a lot to help Ponyville feel like home to Twilight. She would do it all again in a heartbeat, beestings, sniffles and all.
Being sick hadn't been all bad that time. Twilight thought to herself. Spike had taken great care of her, and Twilight would never complain about three days spent in bed with a thick stack of books and a seemingly unlimited supply of sugar free hot cocoa, compliments of Pinkie Pie. Pinkie had even thrown her an “I’m sorry I got you sick so eat as many sugar free cupcakes as you like” party. Twilight wasn't sure how Pinkie had made sugar free cupcake icing, but Twilight was long past questioning anything the party pony did.
But this time was different; this time, there had been no Pinkie party. This time Twilight couldn't just stay in bed and get lots of sleep. This time, Twilight had been admitted to the Ponyville hospital, and then a week later she was transferred to the Canterlot hospital. This time, Princess Celestia had come to visit her personally. In fact, the Princess had come to check on her several times a week for the past seven weeks. At first, Twilight was thrilled to see her, but after the second visit in as many days it occurred to her that:
If the princess is concerned for me… maybe I should be concerned too.
Twilight's thoughts formed into two opposing sides of lines and ranks as she battled back and forth between worrying and reassuring herself.
I’m sure the Princess is just taking advantage of my proximity. I have been away from Canterlot for so long, and it isn't like the Princess can just up and leave whenever she feels like it. Rationalized Twilight number one.
Then why hasn't she told me what I’m sick with? It can only be because she doesn't want me to worry, and if that is the case then there must be something for me to worry about. Asserted Twilight number two.
Number one fired back. No, it’s because there is nothing I could do even if I did know what I was sick with. These are the best doctors in Equestria there is no point in me getting in their way.The Princess just wants me to focus on recovering, that’s all.
Number two started to reply. Exactly, if this weren't serious why would the best doct-
That was when Twilights incessant headache decided to upgrade itself, and Twilight was forced to call a cease fire with herself.
Headaches had become a common theme in Twilights life. The illness had started off with headaches whenever she used too much magic—then whenever she used magic. That had been annoying, but Twilight dismissed it as the beginnings of magical exhaustion; she had been using a lot more magic in her experiments lately. So Twilight hadn't thought much of it at the time.
When it persisted despite the week off she took from her experiments to recover; she thought it might be a dissonant leyline, and started doing some testing to find and correct the magical anomaly. That was when the headaches turned into migraines, and the other symptoms started appearing.
She lost her appetite. She couldn't sleep. No matter how tired she was, at best, she got two or three hours a night. Her waking hours became consumed by an unshakable and persistent feeling of weariness. At that point, she had tried to research diseases, but by then she was too tired to focus, and her head hurt too much to read.
If she were being honest with herself, she would have admitted that she missed reading more than her magic. Even without the ability to use magic she could still do research. She had filled an entire notebook with theories to test when she got her magic back—If she got her magic back. She wasn't so sure any more.
Despite having lost her health, Twilight still had her friends. Fluttershy, Applejack and Spike faithfully came to visit her once a week, bringing with them a welcome break from the inedible hospital food. She was never hungry, but Twilight knew she needed food and it was easier to force down Applejacks' and Spikes' home cooked collaborations than the stuff the hospital served. Applejack always made sure to bring enough for a few days, but she didn't know that that was all Twilight was eating.
Fluttershy had volunteered to look after Spike back when Twilight had first been taken to the Ponyville hospital; the two of them always having gotten along so well. Spike would have preferred staying with Rarity, and while Twilight was sure that Rarity wouldn't have refused, she was equally sure Rarity didn't need a second fire hazard under hoof while she tried to work. As hard working and well intentioned as Spike was, Twilight still had to break out the muzzle whenever he got the hiccups.
The first time Rarity visited, she insisted on redecorating, stating that “I simply refuse to let my good friend stay in a room this drab.” The brightly colored drapes, sheets and rug did wonders to liven up the dull hospital room—but Twilight had drawn the line at the canopy bed and tapestries. Rarity couldn't visit all that often but when she did, she always brought gifts. A large armoire had been moved into Twilights’ room to accommodate the dresses, scarves, socks, and other accessories that Rarity had made for her over the weeks.
A smile slowly grew on Twilight’s face as her eyes swept across the dimly lit room. It was late and, as usual, sleep evaded her. Weariness clung to Twilight’s features like a second shadow. The hospital was perfectly silent; being the Princess’s prize pupil had its perks; this time it meant that Twilight had the entire third floor to herself. Celestia had personally intervened after her second visit when Twilight had casually mentioned that “it was a little loud sometimes.”
Twilight’s room would normally have been shared with three other ponies, but instead it had a mini-fridge, an armoire, a modest vanity, her own bathroom (Twilight suspected Celestia’s involvement in the latter, especially since hospital rooms don't normally have bathrooms at all). The privacy curtain had also been repurposed as a makeshift closet bar to display more of Rarities gifts.
Despite all the unusual sights surrounding her, Twilight’s eyes rested on the most commonplace item in her room: an uncomfortable looking chair next to her bed; a chair that Rainbow Dash had filled a few hours ago. Dash, true to her Element had visited Twilight every day. The four hour train ride only took Dash twenty minutes by air, so she had given up her afternoon nap to fly to Canterlot with a saddlebag full of Daring Doo books every day. If Twilight couldn't read, Dash had decided she would just have to read for her. Rainbow Dash’s visits quickly became the brightest point in Twilights days. It wasn't the story; Twilight had read the entire series three times before she had fallen ill—and it certainly wasn't Dash’s execution of the story; it was knowing that no matter how poorly she felt or how little sleep she got she could always count on Dash to visit her, and for a few hours everything seemed bearable.
The smile slowly turned into a frown, something was wrong. No not wrong: missing. Pinkie Pie! Twilight found herself shocked as she realized that she hadn't seen or heard from Pinkie since she had been transferred from Ponyville.
Just then a thunderous blast shook the building, and shattered the quietness of her room. It was followed by screaming. If it weren't for the dull pain that made thinking difficult, Twilight’s thoughts would be racing. What’s going on? Are we under attack? Is it Changelings? Why are they attacking a hospital? She would have wondered in a panic. As it was, she could only feel, and Twilight felt shocked, confused, and afraid.
BOOM!!!
The room shuttered around her. The blasts were growing closer, and she was starting to make out the screams.
“AIEEEEE!!!!!!”
“ITS EVERYWHERE!!!!”
“CELESTIA HELP US!!!!!!”
“WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING???!?!?!”
“SHE’S A MADMARE!!!!”
Twilight was terrified now, but only one thought echoed in her mind: The Elements Of Harmony. Sickness or no sickness, Equestria needs me, Twilight thought to herself. With some difficulty she rolled out of bed and immediately fell into a heap on the floor. Her legs were no longer accustomed to the weight of her body. She struggled to stand, groaning in effort. Legs trembling and with sweat beading at her forehead, she succeeded.
BOOM!!!!!
The windows vibrated and the floor actually shook a little this time. The blasts were definitely getting closer. The screams were too.
“SHE’S ON THE THIRD FLOOR!!!”
“WHAT DOES SHE WANT???”
“SOMEPONY GET PSYCHIATRIC UP HERE!!!”
Twilight staggered her way around her bed, closer to the door. The effort left her winded.
“I’m so weak” she panted “Even if I had the Element of Magic, could I even use it?”
She stepped closer to the door, her legs slightly more stable now. She was three feet from the door when it was thrown open and a familiar shape was shoved into the room right in front of her.
“Gaaah!” she exclaimed as she stumbled a half pace backwards and fell into a sitting position. Her fear was quickly replaced by confusion as she recognized the thing that had been unceremoniously shoved into her room.
“P-party cannon?”
“HI TWILIGHT!!!” Pinkie bellowed as she followed her party cannon into the room. Looking at her guest’s appearance, Twilight became even more confused. Pinkie’s hair seemed poofier than normal, though that may just have been pink on pink camouflage bandana she had tied around her forehead that was pushing it up slightly. Pinkie also had a belt wrapped around her torso from her left shoulder to her right hip. Attached to the belt were several brightly colored packages the same diameter as the barrel of the party cannon, and three pies. There were also two lines of something white smeared under each of her eyes—frosting?
“Pinkie, what are you doing here?” is what Twilight would have said, but all she got out was “Pinkie, wha” before Pinkie enthusiastically pressed the only button on her party cannon, which was still aimed directly at Twilight.
BOOM!!!
From outside the hospital a small crowd of bystanders drawn by the sounds of cannon fire “ooOOooed” and “aaAAaaed” at the impressive amount of confetti and streamers puffed out of every window on the third floor.
Twilight blinked a few times as her vision returned. There was confetti everywhere, and streamers—sweet Celestia the streamers. Twilight spit confetti out of her still open mouth with a grimace, and finished her sentence.
“What are you doing here?”
“Duh, I’m throwing you a party.”
“Bwaa-”
“Only the doctor ponies wouldn't let me in after I told them, no matter how many times I asked, or how many cakes I brought. That doctor is a meanie McCranky-mean-pants. I've never met a pony as mean and cranky as he is, except for Cranky when he first came to Ponyville. Do you remember that? I was all ‘like Hi I’m Pinkie Pie’, and he was all like ‘Grrr’ and I was all like ‘Welcome to Ponyville’, and he was like ‘Grr, leave me alone’. But anyway that doctor wouldn't let me in so I got all sad and my hair went all ‘pthbbbb’ but then it poofed back because I got an idea. If he wouldn’t let me in, I would just break in. Like that time we wore those stretchy clothes and broke into that place with all the funny smelling books, but not like that time because that time I didn’t bring my party cannon, and this time I reallyreallyreallywantedtobringmypartycannonsoIfixeditupspecialandmadepiesandputonfunnyclothes ANDHEREIAM!!!!!”
Twilight just stared at Pinkie as she rambled, her hazy mind completely unable to make any sense of what her friend was saying. But somewhere in all that, she picked up that neither the hospital nor herself were under Changeling attack. That being settled, Twilight relaxed and went back to trying to decipher the bizarreness that was Pinkie Pie.
It was at that moment that something particularly strange happened to Pinkie; well it would have been strange but this is Pinkie we are talking about. Her left eye started twitching and then stopped just as quickly, next her left back leg shot out from under her and she then went through a full body shiver.
“Was that a combo?”
“Yuperonnie” replied Pinkie as she stuffed one of her packages into the party cannon. “That one means somepony wants to put me in a straightjacket.” Pinkie spun the party cannon to face the open door just as two hospital orderlies, a Unicorn with a hypodermic needle and an earth pony with a straight jacket in his mouth, came into sight and froze in front of the cannon.
“SUPPRISE!”, yelled Pinkie. The unicorn, a stallion with a hypodermic needle for a cutie mark, matching the one he carried, managed to get off “O buck me” before the cannon went off.
BOOM!!!! SPLAT!!!!
An eruption of cake batter plastered both orderlies to the wall across from the door.
“AAHHHHHhhhmmmMMMMM, Chocolate, my favorite” said the wall mounting which was formerly a unicorn. “mmmmph” replied his earth pony companion, who still had the straight jacket in his mouth and was now unable to remove it due to the cake batter gluing him to the wall.
It occurred to Twilight that they could easily be mistaken for a piece of modern art.
“ooOOOoo, I almost forgot. Wait here Twilight, I’ll be right back”. And with that Pinkie took off out the door and down the hall at a full gallop, leaving Twilight alone with the orderlies. The unicorn was contentedly licking cake batter off the wall next to his head.
“Mmmmph!!” exclaimed the earth pony, successfully getting Twilight’s attention. She walked across the hallway and pulled the straight jacket out of his mouth, doing so left Twilight once again out of breath.
“Do you know her?” asked the now partly liberated earth pony.
“Yes, she is one of my best friends and the bearer of the Element of Laughter”.
“Is she always-”
“Yes” deadpanned Twilight. “Though today she is acting a little more excited than usual, I haven't seen her for a while, so I think she is trying to make up for lost time.”
The earth pony who Twilight had decided to nickname ‘Mmph’ had now mostly separated himself from the mess on the wall, turned to his unicorn companion.
“Want some help?”
“Yes please”, replied the Unicorn between licks.
Twilight settled on ‘Lickie’ and turned around to walk back into her room. There was confetti everywhere. She sighed and ran a hoof through her mane, it came back covered in streamers. Twilight started giggling at this, and then collapsed onto the floor, completely exhausted. ‘Mmph’ freed ‘Lickie’ and then the two of them took off down the hallway after Pinkie, still covered in chocolate cake batter. To Twilights great amusement the screams returned.
“THERE SHE IS!!!”
“GET HER!!!”
“OOooff”
“WE NEED MORE STRAIGHT JACKETS!!!”
“SOMEPONY GET THE DRAGON SKEWER!!!”
“AAAGGGHHhh”
“I THOUGHT SHE WAS OUT OF PIES, WHERE DOES SHE KEEP GETTING THEM!?!”
“DON’T LET HER GET AWAY!!!”
Pinkie flopped back into Twilight’s room, minus her pie/belt, half wearing a straitjacket; with a large gift wrapped present hanging by its bow from her mouth. Pinkie nosed the package forward and chirped “HERE YOU GO!!!”
“Thank you, Pinkie, this means a lot to me. It’s good to see you.”
Just then, ‘Mmph’, ‘Lickie’, and a third orderly burst into the room. ‘Lickie’, who appeared to have decided to start styling his mane with cherry pie filling, was using his telekinesis to hold the largest hypodermic needle that that Twilight had ever seen. The logical part of her mind agreed that you most likely could skewer a dragon with it.
“BYE TWILIGHT, GET BETTER SOON!!!!!!” shouted Pinkie as she was dragged out of the room. Twilight made a mental note to ask Celestia to grant Pinkie a full pardon, and set up some kind of special arrangement with the hospital regarding her visiting rights.
Twilight got to her hooves and picked up the gift, which was surprisingly heavy, she then carried it to the nightstand beside her bed. She moved the small lamp to the floor and placed the heavy package in its place. Twilight pulled at the end of the bow with her teeth (hooves are useless for that sort of thing you know), which untied the ribbon and caused the wrapping paper to unfold around the box. With the decorations removed, she slid the top half of the box off. Inside was a cake… or was it a pie, a pie/cake? Twilight wasn't sure but it looked delicious. On its top Pinkie had drawn a picture in icing. It was Twilight and her five friends plus spike playing tag on a grassy hilltop. “We Miss You” was written underneath the image in a beautiful cursive script.
Twilight stared at her newest gift for a long time. A few tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought of all her dear friends and everything they had done and sacrificed for her. She thought of all the adventures they had been on, the hopes and dreams they had confessed to each other, the shared moments of laughter and tears. Her mind wandered back to the first two days she had spent in Ponyville, when Nightmare Moon had returned and they had first used the Elements of Harmony. Her mind played over the memories of the six of them being lifted into the air their hearts and emotions united as one as they wielded the Elements of Harmony against Nightmare Moon.
Twilight replaced the lid of the box, to keep her pie/cake fresh, she climbed back into bed and started to get settled in when Mmph stepped into her room. He started to remove the party cannon which was still pointed at the wall across from the door.
“Wait, please leave it....” requested Twilight. Mmph shrugged and rolled that party cannon back into her room just to the left of the door.
Twilight reached over to the nightstand and opened the little drawer on its front. With some difficulty she removed an empty parchment and a quill and ink. Her mouth writing needed work as she hadn’t practiced it since before she got her cutie mark, but it would have to do.
After she was finished writing Twilight relaxed in her bed. Before she closed her eyes for the night she thought to herself… I have spent quite enough time in this room; it’s time to get better. With that Twilight slept. She slept like she hadn’t for over two months. She slept and dreamed of her friends and everything she would do when she rerutned to them. Twilight Sparkle got a good night’s sleep.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned a valuable lesson about friendship. Today I learned the true meaning of friendship isn't having slumber parties, or spending lots of time with somepony. Today, I learned that friendship is more about the quality of the relationship than how long you have known them or how much time you spend with them. True friendship means putting what is best for them above what is convenient for you. Today, I learned that I have the best friends in the world, and I need to get back to them.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.
Authors note.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first ever story. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I appreciate all feedback and any constructive criticism you have for me. Special thanks to Marzipan Gecko, and q97randomguy for proof reading for me, and encouraging me to write in the first place. I naively and optimistically look forward to reading your comments.
Have a great day.
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Quite good, but I'd like to know exactly what was wrong with Twilight. Other than that, it was very funny and well written for a first attempt. Well done, have a thumb!
This was cute!
Great job!
Well, I'd really like to know what's supposed to be wrong with Twilight and/or some actual confirmation that she will get better, but aside from that it's a good cute story, good job.
She doesn't have cancer, right?
Ok first did twilight just die cause that's what I got second I'm pretty sure Celestia would have told the doctors to let pinkie in and third that was heart warming and painful at the same time... Good Job
1428569>>1428633 I don't have a good answer for what exactly is wrong with Twi
. This has changed quite a bit from my original idea for the fic. But getting better was a mind over matter thing, so rest assured that she is fine now.
1428655 That was the original idea, but no.
1428662 Twi will be fine, all she needed was a cheering section dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png . And it wasn't that the doctors wouldn't let Pinkie in, it is that her getting in would have equaled a very loud party and they didn't want that.
After the inevitability of Pinkie's assault on the hospital, I'm thinking it wasn't entirely for Twilight's benefit that she was given an entire floor to herself...
An amusing little diversion to read on my break, with an appropriately warm ending! Nicely done.
Great story. I hate being left in the dark on if she got better or not though.
1428688 I know where your profile pic is from
1428705
While I don't plan on continuing this story, rest assured that she does get better within the next few days. All she needed was a pie/cake dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png .
1428736
Lol!! Good to know.
I seriously like how you did Pinkie! Pinkie Pie saves the day woo!
Seems like everypony else is enjoying this as much as I did!
Congrats on your very first and impressive step as an author here!
1429006 I had a blast writing all the stuff with Pinkiedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png . I actually worked out most of the basic plot at work and I kept spontaneously laughing as I was working dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png . All in all, mission accomplished
.
1429495 I can't tell you how happy I am that this has been so well received. I wouldn't have gotten here without you guys, thanks you both so much dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_beam.png .
did anyone else draw that picture in their head? Pinkie kabobs.....
wait, no.....cotton candy..mmmmmm 
"If the princess is concerned for me… maybe I should be concerned too."
Story actually starts here. Fan-finction in general is brutal in that you'd be lucky to keep people that long ~4 paragraphs even for oneshots.
Numbering the internal Twilights is okay, but I think you'd do better to either give them nicknames like you do with the orderlies later ("optimistic Twilight", and "IQ>!44 Twilight") or just have the straight back-and-forth with linebreaks as this is common enough that folks will get it without beating them over the head.
You mention once that Twilight's in Canterlot and nod again to it when you say Celly's close. When friends visit every week, maybe note that this is an investment for them given that I'd probably take a day of travel round-trip out of their schedules to come see her.
>"That was all Twilight was eating."
How is she getting away with eating nothing with the hospital staff there watching? Any competent nurse would notice this in an instant, even if she /could/ use magic to hide or burn up the food somehow. Maybe just "the only thing she'd eat willingly" or somesuch.
Spike as 2nd fire-hazard is a good touch.
"Weariness clung to Twilight’s features like a second shadow." was beautiful.
"Princess’s prize pupil... the entire third floor to herself... when... mentioned that 'it was a little loud sometimes.'" Liked that quite a lot.
Daily Dash-visits I liked.
Characterization for Pinkie in dialog was very (maybe extremely) good . Her appearance was over-the-top, but then again she's Pinkie Pie. This is actually a hard balance to strike. Canon can do whatever it wants with her and folks will swallow it but you can't push the edges quite as much without justification in fanworks without being annoying an seeming wanky; the reason for this is that canon also gives Pinkiepie redeemable characteristics and has her contribute to the Mane Six in meaningful ways beyond just being random. Since such events don't stick in fanon, alot of fans leave this by the wayside, which just leaves you with typical-annoying-cartoon-character (e.g. Tigger).
"Dragon skewer" should've been explained immediately and seemed like a bombed joke until you hit it later.
I think you could've explained a lot more of what you did in the text with Pinkie in your dialog (esp. because your dialog for Pinkie is quite excellent throughout.) Establish she'd broken into the hospital, set up a party cannon or two, and evaded being straightjacketed etc. This could be equally amusing because Twilight would get to question Pinkie about select details and Pinkie might reveal exaggerations or do more "Of course I did that" or etc. This would be less abusive in not wrecking the 4th wall as much with PDP. A small amount of non-caricatured action for her would've also been nice, like just a hug between her and Twilight or somesuch before she left.
The letter at the end was fine, though leaves us wondering if Celly arranged for Twi to get the flu or whtaver this was until she heard that.
Overall not bad. The part where Twi goes to help the orderlies but then hits the floor is a little awkward, and this would be avoided if you did more with dialog.
1513027
Very true, I happen to love reading, and don't mind slower moving stories, but I should probably make allowances for other types of readers when I can.
That part was added in later, almost last second, at the suggestion of a pre reader, I was already feeling to pressure to publish, and ended up not putting as much attention into that paragraph as it deserved
. Also my inner psychology student applauds you for not going over 150 for IQ score dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png . Since 150 is the max for legitimate IQ tests, and nobody seems to know that.
Thank you
.
I wanted it to be exclusively from Twi's perspective and was having Twi be groggy was an excuse to have her not talk very much, because to be honest, I struggle with dialog
. Sometimes it just flows out when I am writing and thinking, but other times it doesn't and I'm afraid that if I 'force it' It will be noticeably lower quality. I plan on working on this problem before posting anything else, and I have plans for another story I am going to start just as soon as this semester is over 
.
Ya, I could have spent more time on this overall, but I'm still looking for the balance between tinkering a project to death, and calling 'good enough.'
1513758
144 is what I got the last time I tested.
I assume Twlight is smarter than I am thus the IQ greaterThan 144.
I have literally done this.
1513791
Hate to burst you bubble, but unless you paid a couple hundred dollars, and took the it in person with a trained psycholgist, the test you took holds no scientific valuedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png . Not that scientific value is the only kind that matters, just be careful about going around saying that you have an IQ of 144 when 130+ is considered genius level, and when only 10% of the population have an IQ above 120. Online IQ tests are all pretty much worthless unless you are just using it to compare scores with friends.
To be honest if you really have an IQ of 144 you would realistically, never in your life meet a person who is as smart or is smarter than you are. That is how rare an IQ that high is....
1513851
Yeah. It was the best test I could find but it wasn't pay-for, because paying for something like that would be... dorky unless for a special reason.
Also this would've been some time ago, and given it's an intelligence quotient, this means that it's harder to get a high score as your age gets higher (atleast this was how a friend explained it to me a while back though maybe he was wrong) unless you keep learning things etc.
I've scored in the 99th percentile on language-based tests before, however, so eh. I'm not sure how linguistically-biased more reliable IQ-assays are. I'm reasonable at math but only if the timing isn't very tight. 'Don't know pay-for tests have time as part of score.
1514097 Your friend was partly right, age does affect IQ, but after about 13 your real IQ stops increasing. It isn't based in knowledge it's based on how your thought processes work.
Well scoring in the 99th percentile speaks for itself. In normal talk that means you scored higher than 99% of the other people who took that test. So the more well known that particular test is the more impressive that score is. And yes pay-for tests have a time limit, also the test giver is trained to be... well mean during the test. How you handle stress is also part of the test. All that makes the test pretty unpleasant.
So... much... adorable...!