• Member Since 30th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 1st, 2019

AntiquatedAnnomaly


T
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Once upon a time, two Princesses ruled the land. Both wielded great power and were greatly respected. Theirs was a rule of peace and contentment. But one Princess sought more than contentment. She began to question the long-held traditions of their joint rule. Looking out upon her nation, she saw much the she would change, so she planned and conspired. Then, one day, she acted.




Cover art by Tprinces.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

You most likely mean "Luna In Umbra Est" - "Luna (or 'the moon') is in shadow".

Way to start off with my favorite of references. Ah, you already know how much I like this. Looking forward to chapter 2. :twilightsmile:

2349366 Indeed I do, Not sure how that happened, I looked it up and at one point in knew it was in instead or en. Changing. and Thanks.

2349411 Thank you. Stay tuned...

Oh, hey, there goes the name of my Luna fanfic :pinkiecrazy:

I was thinking it should be In Umbra Luna Est instead.

Also, when will we reach "the night will last forever"? Is that somehow related to the proposed evolution of Equestria?

2704751 Hmmm, In shadow moon is... You might be right. I don't speak Latin, in fact I haven't studied it in years. But that rings right to me, I do have someone I can talk to who does know Latin... I'll ask them.

As for your question, I have three more chapters of this planned before I am going to call it finished, but this story is just the introduction, so to speak. We will get to my version of "The Night Will Last Forever," in chapter three. But it won't be exactly like the show.

2704874

I'm enjoying this story so far and your vision of Luna comes close to the one I am currently dealing with in a story I'm working on now. The only differences between the two characters are slightly different personalities, somewhat different motivations, a somewhat different historical/political context, and the fact that my version of Luna comes to a different conclusion. Their underlying personalities, attributes, a universe with a artificially controlled cosmic order, many centuries-old rulers, varying degrees of cosmic awareness, the concept of a time of Equestrian cultural/technological stagnation, and the idea that the Elements of Harmony have side effects.

I was wondering if you would let me paraphrase some of the quotations in this story? I'm also having some characterization issues with both princesses and I could use some help.

Quite an interesting idea. I hope you haven't abandoned it.

The writing is rather excellent. It evokes characterization, contrasting Luna's flamboyant personality with a more reserved and laid-back style of Celestia. It also builds excitement, making it seem very interesting to start with, and playing off of Luna's darker (heh, heh) personality for a realistic motivation to rule.

That said, I would point out it feels rather unfocused. Not that, by any measure, it seems poor quality. Just that the first few paragraphs lead the reader on a merry chase through purpose. While I understand that it will most likely all be realized, it just seems to me that it might have benefited from a more consistent tone/feel/mindset, at least for the first few paragraphs. Some of the exposition is a bit clunky as well, which I can understand being excited to do, but would ultimately have been better handled if it was a bit more spread out or subtly handled.

Overall, an excellent story. I await more with bated breath.

3479560

I do still intend to return to this one, I've actually got big plans for it. I just haven't found the time/motivation to continue it. With that being said, don't bate your breath too much... Optimistically, I'll find time during Christmas break, but if I'm honest with myself, writing is less about finding time than it is about making time, something I'm rather bad at.

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