Our Chemical Romance

by AndyHunter

I've Got So Many Eyes Watching Me Now

Come on Rainbow, you can do it…

I stared at my reflection, feeling like I was looking at a different pony altogether. Gone was the brave and tough Rainbow Dash that everypony knows. Instead, I was faced with a doppelgänger, dark and serious, staring back at me from the mirror.

Inside, I knew I was still the same pony, but on the outside... I was different. Way different.

Who in Ponyville had ever seen me with piercings? Or my mane painted with black lines, stark against my usual colors? Or wearing stockings? Not a single soul, not even Twilight, my marefriend.

I felt like I was living a double life, one where I hide my true self from everypony, including the one I love most. It's tearing me apart inside, but I just can't bring myself to reveal this side of me. What if they don't accept it? What if they think I'm just some weirdo trying to be something I'm not? It's easier to keep up the facade, to pretend like everything's okay. But deep down, I know it's not. And it's eating away at me, piece by piece.

Twilight's the only pony I trust enough to show this side of me. She's the one who gets it, who understands my love for the dark and mysterious. But getting to her house without anypony catching a glimpse of me is gonna be a challenge.

Sure, I'm all about being bold and fearless, but when it comes to revealing this part of myself, I'm feeling anything but confident. Especially with ponies like Rarity around. I mean, she's practically the queen of fashion and style. What if she sees me and starts judging my choices? It's enough to make my hooves break out in a cold sweat.

But Twilight... she's different. She sees beyond the surface, beyond the flashy outfits and shiny accessories. She sees me for who I really am, and that's what gives me the courage to take this leap of faith. I just hope I can make it to her without anypony else noticing.

Scoots... she's been by my side for as long as I can remember, like a little sister. But even she doesn't know about this side of me. And right now, she's probably at school, blissfully unaware of the inner turmoil I'm going through.

Part of me wonders if I should tell her, if I should let her in on this secret. But another part of me wants to shield her from it, to protect her from the complexities of my own identity.

With a determined look in my eyes, I steel myself for what lies ahead. I meet my own gaze in the mirror, holding it for a few seconds before turning my attention to my left front hoof. With a firm squeeze, I silently vow to make it to Twilight's house without being seen. It's time to embrace this part of myself and share it with the one pony who truly understands me.

I left the bathroom, spreading my wings to soar toward the living room.

In the living room, Tank ambled slowly across the central carpet, his daily routine unfolding before my eyes. Sleeping, walking, flying - it was all in a day's work for him. And when he walked, it felt like it took him ages to traverse the distance from the entrance to the living room.

I flew over to him, gently lifting him up to meet my gaze. As he blinked at his usual pace, I couldn't help but wonder if he still saw me as his friend.

"Look at me, Tank," I murmured softly. "Do you still consider me your friend?" He inclined his head slowly, a silent affirmation that warmed my heart.

Then came the real question that had been weighing on my mind. "Do you think my friends will laugh at me because of how I look?" Tank moved his head from left to right, a simple gesture that spoke volumes.

Sure, Tank couldn't talk in the traditional sense, but his actions spoke louder than words ever could. And in that moment, I couldn't help but feel reassured by his silent support. He might not understand the complexities of my situation, but he loved me unconditionally, and for that, I was grateful.

I flashed Tank a reassuring smile, hoping to ease any lingering concerns he might have. "I'll be back soon, buddy," I promised, my voice soft and gentle. "Just heading out to see Twilight. I'll try to make it back before nightfall." Tank responded with a nod, his silent understanding warming my heart.

With a careful touch, I set him back down and made my way to the entrance of my house. My first order of business? Making sure there were no pegasi nearby who could catch a glimpse of me.

I scanned the area in all directions, ensuring there was nopony in sight. One advantage of living a bit away from town, I guess. It made slipping out unnoticed a whole lot easier.

I geared up to descend, hurtling towards the ground at breakneck speed. As I sliced through the air, I felt the rush against my face, the exhilaration of flight coursing through my veins.

But as I glanced back, a pang of anxiety gripped me. The rainbow trail that usually accompanied my high-speed flights now bore a stark black line. It was a telltale sign of my inner turmoil leaking out into the world, a visual representation of the darkness I struggled to conceal.

It's a habit of mine, this rapid descent. But as I touched down on the ground, I couldn't shake the worry that somepony might have caught sight of my unusual rainbow trail.

With a determined set to my jaw, I tore my gaze away from the past and focused on the task at hoof: making my way to the library. The most complicated step lay ahead, but I was ready to face it head-on.

I dashed swiftly towards the Northeastern Windmill, ducking behind it for cover. A couple of ponies lingered nearby, engaged in conversation. Peeking my head out cautiously, I hoped they would soon move along so I could continue my journey undetected.

Making my way to the other side of the road, I sought refuge in the alleyway. A row of houses provided ample cover, shielding me from prying eyes. It was daylight, so the chances of encountering a crowd were high.

But I wasn't entirely concealed. Any passing pegasus could easily spot me. So, I nestled into the shadows, grateful for the protection they offered. Under the roof's overhang, I remained hidden from view, at least from above.

As I trotted towards the end of the row of houses, my gaze shifted to the left. Sugarcube Corner loomed in the distance, Pinkie Pie's domain. The thought of her seeing me like this sent a shiver down my spine. I could already picture her bursting into laughter, making me the laughingstock of Ponyville. It's a risk I couldn't afford to take.

This side of Ponyville was usually bustling with ponies, so I had to bide my time, waiting for the opportune moment to make my move towards the small tree not far away.

As I prepared to take flight, I reminded myself to keep my speed in check, lest my rainbow trail give me away. Patiently, I waited for the coast to clear, my pulse racing in time with the beat of my heart.

And then, with lightning speed, I shot towards the tree, my wings cutting through the air with silent determination. Twilight's house was within reach now, just a short hop away. All I had to do was hide in the bushes outside her home and slip in unnoticed. I was so close, I could practically taste it.

My heart pounded in my chest, matching the rhythm of my flight. I could do this. I just needed to stay focused, stay calm.

Poking my head out from behind the tree, I scanned the area for any sign of danger. Fortunately, there weren't many ponies around. But before one could arrive from the north, I darted swiftly towards the safety of the bush, my adrenaline fueling my every move.

Just as I felt victory within reach, a voice whispered close to my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Dashie... who are you hiding from?"

Startled, I leaped in the air at the unexpected sound, only to find Pinkie Pie standing there, her grin wide and mischievous. "What the? Pinkie Pie, why did you scare me like that?!" I exclaimed, crossing my front hooves in frustration as I flew closer to her.

Pinkie Pie's expression softened, her hoof raised in a sheepish gesture. "I'm so sorry, Dashie. I thought you were playing hide and seek, and I wanted to join in too."

"I'm not playing anything, Pinkie. I just wanted to go to Twilight's house," I explained, my irritation evident.

"Then why were you hiding?" Pinkie Pie inquired, her curiosity piqued. Leave it to Pinkie to be the first to notice.

I sighed, avoiding eye contact with her. "I hid because of how I look. I didn't want anypony to see me like this. I'm doing all this for Twilight."

Pinkie's smile remained, but her tone softened. "Come on, Dash, you don't have to do all this for Twilight. If you don't like looking that spooky, I'm sure she'll still love you."

"No... Pinkie," I murmured, gathering my courage. "I really like dressing this way."

There was no turning back now. I had laid bare a part of myself I had kept hidden for so long, and I could only hope that Pinkie would understand.

Pinkie leaned back in surprise, her eyes widening with understanding. "I'm sorry, Dash. I didn't know you were going through so much. But there's no reason to hide that side of you. I'm your best friend, and I would never judge you," she reassured me, her words lifting the weight off my shoulders. Could it be that Pinkie Pie truly appreciated my taste for the dark?

"Really, Pinkie? You're not going to laugh at me?" I asked tentatively, landing near her.

"Of course not, silly! That's part of who you are. I would never make fun of you," Pinkie said with sincerity, enveloping me in a tight hug. I returned the embrace, feeling a surge of gratitude for her understanding and acceptance. Pinkie Pie truly was an incredible friend.

Just then, Twilight emerged from her house, having overheard our conversation. "Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash... I was waiting for you, Rainbow. But I didn't expect Pinkie Pie to be here," she remarked, her voice carrying a mix of surprise and admiration.

Twilight's openness, as well as her lack of embarrassment in expressing her own dark style, always impressed me. Not only was she captivating with her words, but she also looked stunning in her uniqueness.

"You see, Twilight, what happened is that I saw Rainbow Dash hiding from everypony while she was heading here, and I decided to follow her. At first, I thought she was playing hide and seek, but it seems that she was just embarrassed that everypony, except you, saw her in such a way," Pinkie Pie explained with her usual bubbly enthusiasm.

"Were you following me?!" I turned my gaze towards Pinkie Pie, a hint of irritation in my tone, though I couldn't help but feel a twinge of amusement at her antics.

"Of course! When it comes to hiding, I'm a champ," Pinkie Pie declared proudly, her grin never faltering.

"Oh, Rainbow, did you really do all this for me? It's unusual for you to want to dress up, especially in a gothic style," Twilight asked, her cheeks flushing slightly as she met my gaze. I felt my own cheeks warm in response.

"Well... I've wanted to express myself this way for a long time, especially with you. But I never did because I was afraid... Afraid that everypony would laugh at me and I wouldn't be seen as the coolest pony in all of Equestria," I confessed, sliding one front hoof nervously against the other.

"No, Rainbow Dash, it's not like that. Everypony has their uniqueness, and that's what makes us who we are. There's nothing wrong with expressing yourself. To me... you're still awesome," Twilight reassured me, her voice soft and soothing. Each word she spoke only served to deepen the warmth spreading through my chest.

Her words, along with Pinkie Pie's unwavering support, helped me break free from the chains of insecurity that had held me back for so long. In that moment, I felt a surge of courage and determination, fueled by the love and acceptance of those closest to me.

I extended both of my hooves towards Twilight, a silent invitation to seal our newfound understanding with a kiss. Twilight understood the gesture immediately, mirroring my movement as our lips drew closer, anticipation mounting with each passing second.

As our lips met in a gentle, tender embrace, I felt a rush of euphoria wash over me. It was like fireworks exploding in my heart, a sensation that filled me with an overwhelming sense of happiness and appreciation. In that fleeting moment, everything else melted away, leaving only Twilight and the warmth of her kiss.

It was a moment I would treasure forever, a memory etched into the depths of my soul. And as we parted, our eyes meeting in silent understanding, I knew that this was just the beginning of our journey together.

"Awww, you two are definitely the cutest couple in all of Equestria," Pinkie Pie exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with delight. Nothing made her happier than seeing her friends express their love for each other.

"Thanks, Pinkie. Why don't you come with me and Twilight?" I suggested, extending the invitation to include our bubbly friend.

"Are you sure, Rainbow? I thought it was just between us for today," Twilight whispered in my ear, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

"It's okay. Since Pinkie came here, why not invite her too? We'll have plenty of time for ourselves later," I reassured Twilight, placing a comforting hoof on hers.

"Of course, Dashie! We're going to have so much fun!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing towards Twilight's house with boundless enthusiasm.

As Twilight kissed me on the cheek, a sense of pride and admiration shone in her eyes. It was a silent acknowledgment of how far I had come, overcoming my insecurities to embrace my true self. And in that moment, surrounded by the warmth of their friendship, I knew that I was exactly where I was meant to be.

Comments

[Roberto The Stormtrooper]

Never thought I'd see Rainbow of all ponies being a goth, and yet.....she would be an absolutely adorable one at that!

[Box-Corner]

I wonder what made Dash decide to hide her gothic side in the first place, It makes sense that revealing it now would change a lot of opinions that she values a great deal, but it feels like something happened in the past that snowballed into the "upbeat and outgoing" personality becoming a permanent mask.

Obvious answer might be childhood bullies, that's always a safe (but boring) bet. We could rule out home life considering how comically supportive her parents are at all times. Perhaps it has something to do with the expectations of a wonderbolt? Like perhaps Rainbow thought that they wouldn't take her seriously if they saw that part of her, and hid away anything that would deter her chances of joining the ranks of her idols.

But the thing that I really would like to know is how she got into the gothic scene to begin with. Wouldn't be surprised if it had to do with Gilda, but I'm all for a left-field possibility like helping Fluttershy test the waters a bit when hey were younger, but then she abandons it in favor of caring for animals while Rainbow stays fascinated by the aesthetic/culture.

And the final question of the day (not that it needs to be answered):
Does this version of Rainbow know Moonlight Raven?

[FlyMyKite]

Dear Author,

This isn't personally directed at you (or at least only slightly directed at you), but rather at the fandom as a whole, and I just needed a place to rant. I have no blog or page or anything, so I can't see that there's any other way to do this than to make it a comment on someone else's story. So, please don't take offense. Though, I'd welcome your replies.

What is it with these stories people write constantly and overwhelmingly all the time? Why are there so many homosexual romances? Between straight and gay, why is it better to be gay? I mean, most people from English-speaking nations are Christian, and Christianity expressly forbids homosexuality and calls it a perversion. So why does everybody just accept it like it's normal? Why does nobody out of all the people who are on this site say, "I dislike homosexuality, I don't read homosexual stories", even though that's what some of us actually do?

And what's with all these other weird things that people love to praise? Why do people like to write about characters who beat everything with no challenge? Trying to be that sort of person is no way to live. Why does everybody write stories where their self-insert marries Rainbow Dash or Twilight or Princess Celestia? Dudes, you wouldn't have a chance with them, and you know that. Instead of writing a story where some character you admire is in love with you for no reason that you give other than being awesome, wouldn't it be better to try to understand that character and what would make her love you?

And why do people make fics about being accepted for what they like, when what they like is hurting them? Why is 'tolerance' the slogan of the day? What's so great about tolerance? Isn't that word just used to make people shut up about how they actually feel and to allow the people who use it to feel good about themselves? Sure, people should respect one another's beliefs, but why does nobody respect a certain category of beliefs? Aren't people who dislike, say, tattoos allowed to write about the evils of tattoos? Everybody's an evangelist, but only for the causes that nobody will speak out against.

And what's with HiE fics? Do you really think that randomly turning up in Equestria will solve all your problems? The only place you can truly find happiness is in yourself and your actions. If you were in Equestria, you'd still be miserable. Face your problems, don't run from them: that's the only way to be happy.

And what's with all these random adventure stories that go on and on and on for hours and say absolutely nothing? I don't care about your artifacts and your imposing villains and your heroes who have everything fall out for them perfectly just because. And you people who write those stories, you don't care, either, do you? You're just copying what other people do. There's no truth or heart or passion in your words. Speak to me from your heart, and I will listen, Show me who you are, and I will understand. What other use is there in writing? Even if we are imperfect and contradictory, and I the most imperfect of all, shouldn't we speak our heart, rather than pretending to be something we're not?

That's all. I'm not better than you. I know you might hate me for this. I know it might be inappropriate to put it here. That's alright. I don't blame you. But, I'm done being fake. I hate living in a world where everybody is fake. The above is a story about coming out as who you truly are, and that's what I'm doing here.

Now gird up your loins and be real, too.

[Exiist]

Super cute 1 shot

[AndyHunter]

11877196
I think you need to understand that I had this story in mind to be simple and short, more than anything, to practice my skills at telling short stories with a satisfying ending.

I didn't want to go into too much detail, because then I would end up with more than 10,000 words, as usually happens to me.,

Also, I think Rainbow Dash explained within the story why she hides her gothic side. Remember that Rainbow Dash, when it comes to fashion and stuff, is not her thing. You will tell me that in the show she wears dresses without any problem, like at the Grand Galloping Gala, but the situation required it, and it's not because she really liked it.

The fact that Rainbow Dash was dressed in a gothic way because she likes it would be something totally unexpected for all of Mane 6, well, except Twilight, because in this story she is gothic too, but Twilight, unlike Rainbow Dash, is not ashamed to show it because she feels confident in herself. I may be wrong in what I said, my memory is very terrible, I have seen MLP several times, but I can still forget details, I even forget my age sometimes.

About Moonlight. I'm not sure, but I would really like to add Moonlight Raven; she is beautiful. I didn't really have this saga planned too much; I'm working on a much bigger project than this.

[AndyHunter]

11877735
Hell's bells I did not expect a comment like this. If you wanted to talk about these topics, you would have made a forum in the shipping groups or in the romance is magic group. People generally do not comment on my stories, so it is difficult for them to read what you wrote, but I still appreciate that you took the trouble, and I will make sure that your long comment was not written in vain.

That depends on who you ask; in my case, I do it because I like lesbian romances, not to follow "trends" or anything like that. (I also enjoy Yuri, which also inspires me to write these stories.) I'm straight, and seeing two girls being a couple is something that I really love to write about. I don't know how to describe it in words; it's something that's just about taste, and that's it. I'm not trying to say that being gay is better; no, not at all; those are simply tastes.

What I do not like are romance stories between two male characters. I mean, a story can have homosexual male characters, but if that is the main focus, most likely, I am not going to read it; it has to have an interesting story behind it so that it is enjoyable for someone like me to read it, and I don't say anything about those stories because easily, if you don't like it, you ignore it. If I were to comment, "I don't like this story, simply because it has Big Mac and Shining Armor Fucking," I would not be contributing anything to the author.

You mean the Mary Sues/Gary Stu stories? Those stories are mostly written for the author to satisfy his fantasies; that's one reason why I don't read stories that have "OC" tags in them. For people like me, it can be too cringeworthy or enjoyable; it depends on how it is presented in the history.
I admit that I have also written stories like those where I insert myself, and I have a romance with some of the ponies. For some, it may be cringeworthy, but for me, it is to "fulfill a fantasy" and share it with the world. You have every right to say that those stories can be cringeworthy, and I understand it perfectly. In my Chronicles, where I am the protagonist, I am trying to make it less cringe-worthy as possible and create an interesting plot. I have learned during these months that I have been writing that I have I made a lot of mistakes when writing that story, and it felt too much like some elements were only there to be the "author's fantasy." When I take that story again, I will make sure to fix it so that not all the female characters I meet will fall in love with me.
I have been in three relationships with girls in real life; one abandoned me, another lied to me, and another also abandoned me to go with another guy. I suffered a lot during those times. I'm not saying this to make you feel sorry for me, it's just one of the influential reasons that led me to write that story. That is why writing my chronicles was like a way to escape from cruel reality, and surely many other authors write auto-inserts of this kind for similar reasons. It is a way to escape from reality, a break from the cruel world outside. But now that I've overcome those times, I now focus more on not just putting my fantasies there just because, but rather that they are complemented with a good story.

I do not hate you, and I have no reason to delete your comment or block you. From everything I have read, you are only expressing yourself, and if my story in some way influenced you to be yourself, I am glad that my story has been "helpful" for someone.

[Box-Corner]

11877851
Ah, sorry if this came across the wrong way, I was more wondering aloud than anything. It's the mark of a good story if it leaves the audience thinking about it after. I didn't mean to imply that you should make it longer than you wanted to or add details that don't pertain to what you wanted to write.

As for the "why she hides it" bit, the better way for me to ask aloud would have been: When did she decide to start hiding her gothic side to the point nopony knew about it? (again, wondering aloud, this story doesn't need to answer that question as it stands well without it)

[FlyMyKite]

Thanks for being nice.

That comment really hardly had anything to do with you; it was just three years worth of pent up frustration and self-repression being let off in the span of a page. But my God, I needed to get that off my chest.

I had kind of suspected that most of the people who write gay romances don't do it because they're gay themselves. I don't know why people would like that stuff. No, I know why. People think way too much about sex and how they can play around with it, and far too little about love- and I know that that makes you miserable from experience. I hardly have a right to give you advice when it comes to romance, but, maybe try to find someone who values love very highly. Somebody who's less interested in what she can get out of it and more interested in what the both of you can get out of it.

I've never been one for self-inserts. But I can't say they're bad exactly. It's just that most people who write them are unskilled, and make things too easy on themselves. It kinda reminds me of something I used to do. I would read terrible stories just to feel good about myself because I could write better than that. What a loser move! But it was easier than facing the fact that I wasn't the great author I thought I had to be. There are two ways to escape your problems using stories. One is to pretend that things are different than they actually are in way that makes everything okay. The other is to use the story to confront and overcome your problems. Many people choose the former. And it doesn't help. That's what I meant.

You're a pretty good writer. I got frustrated by the title and description, but when I actually read your story I was surprised by how eloquent you are. There were moments where I could nod along and say, "Yeah, I've been there." So, I'll give you one piece of advice: You can only write a story with an effective moral/theme if you believe in that moral enough to live it. It's the easiest thing in the world to write a hero's journey, but few are actually willing to take those lessons to heart, and that's why their stories feel shallow. So, go be your own hero. And thank you.