This is a substantial re-write for one of my earliest stories, with more, longer chapters. It was bigger than my writing was capable of conveying at the time, hopefully this is a better crack at telling it.
The fall of Princess Luna to dark magic...
The defeat of Nightmare Moon...
The lucky accident of Twilight Sparkle being in just the right place, at the right time, with the right ponies...
A redemption , joyous and unconditional...
All well known legend, but what if? What if it was all a lie?
Chapters (10)
The prose here is strangely dramatic, if I remember correctly this was missing in An Alicorn Learns to Fly
On your other story, you warned me to stay away from this story due to my more or less low tolerance of AppleDash, naturally that meant I got curious and went to check it out.
Ah, I see, another TyrantCelestia fic. This all seems very unlikely, and where’s NMM?
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My conspiracy theory here is that NMM didn't exist. She was a legend made up by Celestia's acolytes to justify her actions seizing the throne and Luna's rebellion to her dictatorship.
Totally not cannon, and I can't bend it to fit around all the FIM episodes, but just a bit of fun for the non-fans of Celestia.
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All right. But then what did the Mane Six defeat? Should I read further to find that out?
Huge paragraphs worth of Luna going "Why are we here? Just to suffer?" seems very redundant and could be covered in a few lines instead of racking up word count.
The comma should be inside the quotation marks, that and it should probably be a period/full-stop/dot/point.
"Sister" is not a proper noun, therefore should not be capitalised.
The Tantabus was created by Luna to punish herself for, and I quote, "the evil I did as Nightmare Moon", not only that but it was created after her return from the Moon and redemption. It should not be here.
Celestia has finished her sentence, therefore there must be a period inside the quotation marks and no "said" tag as that only appears at the end of an unfinished sentence. The correct sentence would be ' "Yes, sister." ' and then blah, blah, blah.
Something I forgot to mention, "thou" and other words thereof (i.e., "thy", "thee", etc.) shouldn’t be capitalised just like "you" and "your" aren’t.
Okay, so my question has been answered.
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Nicknames and affectionate names are a sunset of proper nouns.
Ditto with all those capitalised Thees and Thous. Seems like royal etiquette, related to the royal We. Not saying you're wrong, but I'm surely not going to change them all as I kinda like making Luna really archaic sounding in her mannerisms.
As for the Tantabus... yeah, making my scribble come close to cannon has to have some collateral damage. However, what if Luna was lying about the origin of the Tantabus?