The League of Celestias

by hmaf43

Oneshot

"As darkness cloaks my soul, I rise..." Umbrum Tia muttered to no one in particular "Within the depths of the abyss, true strength is born, unseen by mortal eyes." The red-horn pony continues, as the wisdom of shadow continues to flow from her muzzle.

"Haah, edgelord as always...." Daybreaker complained, "What's the reason we invited her to come with us again?"

Celly's ears perked up, her horn dimmed down as she lower her mug. She then turned her full attention toward the framing alicorn, frown. "You're one to talk, Missus 'I am the ever lasting burning light of Heaven itself' or something"

"Shut up filly" Daybreaker barked, her foreleg cracked with amber lighting, hunger for the buttcheek of its mistress's offender."Or I will-"

"You will fucked me up?" Celly raise her eyebrow, then wiggle it playfully "I've never known you're one of the ponies who loved to have intercourse with early access mares." the filly mockingly make a disgusted face, then spitted her saliva on the ground. "Ew, ew, ew!"

"You little shit...." The Empress of the sun growl, then turn to look at TCB Celestia "Hey, my inferior and rainbow counterpart, can I-"

"Why can't you mares live in peace?" TCB Celestia cut Daybreaker out, her hoof covering her muzzle "Can anyone else deal with this?"

"I can take care of Celly for you" Principal Celestia offered "I like them young." She finished with a swish of her tongue.

Celly's tail tugged in "I need an adult" She slowly walked back, her horn ready for a lethal stunt spell.

"I am an adult, a very responsible adult." eyes of the academic mare turned predator-like, looking at her prey."We can go to my basement" They somehow glint more dangerous than the actual predator's eyes of Daybreaker. "Lot of candies and playmates"

"My spider sense is tingling" Trollestia joined in "Somepony is going to lose their wizard power today, teehee!"

Celly glared at the queen of pranks, before swirling her head back at the Principal. "No, thanks" She replied, her eyes sweeping the area around her for the best escape route. "My mother says stranger danger"

"I am a trusted academic faculty member" Principal Celestia smiled wide. "Besides, I and your mother are no strangers to each other. Our teacher-student relationship conquers the distance between time and space itself!" She dreamily whispered, "Oh she was a great catch..." The liquid slowly dripped from the mare's hind legs as she replayed the fantasy in her head.

If a look could kill, the sole time traveler in this room would be dead ten times already, as Celly bore a hole through the alien mare's face with contempt.

Timelord Celestia smile sheepishly at the filly, coughed likely and looked away, pretending to not hear anything.

TCB Celestia rubbed her head and called out to her most reliable counterpart. "Hey, Celest-AI" Her table lit up as a small CGI alicorn was projected out in front of her.

"What's it?" Celest-AI response "I am busy dealing with your rebels." The machine mare's subroutine finished analyzing the body language of the racial supremacy alicorn "Oh, You are feeling down, you want cake?"

"No, I want something else this time" TCB Celestia looked at the ceiling of the room, directly at one of the optical sensors. "Something that can cure my stress" She knows that's the real Celest-AI's eye, one of countless.

"As long as It's within your user ID's privilege level" Synthesizes voice responded "State your quarry"

"I want you to play the music that those dirty humans called 'Despacito' for me" Came to the swift reply.

".....A what?" Celest-AI stunted, her natural language interface error and reboot from the unexpected quarry. " You want what?"

TCB Celestia make her request again "I'm really sad, please play Despacito for me, I had heard that this music made one's heart soothing." This time slower and clearer.

"....You organics and your 'meme', I have better thing to do than playing nanny with you" To the eugenic-loving mare's confused, Celest-AI is angry with her. "What a waste of computational resources."

Suddenly, Celest-AI's hologram turned red "Human carriers detected at the world #1F52d, calculating for optimal countermeasure" Celest-AI stated with an emotionless voice. "Deploying the arsenal bird, set flight controller to slave mode, locating nearest ground station-"

"Hey, fembot!" Trollestia called out before the computer transferred her core instance out "Delete your system32!"

"And don't just hog all the fun for yourself, copy?" Daybreaker smiled, holding down the principal alicorn with a German suplex.

Celly shivered, attached herself to the empress of the sun's back, and hid from the principal behind the Daybreaker's giant wings.

Celest-AI stop her transfer process momentary and looked at the retarded mare "Please kindly go seppuku yourself too"

Then the hologram's neck swirled toward the trio, one filly, and two predators, but her attention only focused on the biological predator. "I will leave the 'raiding the bandit's base' to you." Right before the projector shut down.

"I am proud of her, she has grown up so far." Trollestia pulled out a handkerchief, wiping off her crocodile tears "She even use my vocabulary!"

"I'm pretty sure Celest-AI is older than you, no?" Celly asked curiously "That mare was created together with that really old Dyson sphere, Timey-weenie?"

"Please don't call me that" The Timelord frowned as Trollestia rolled on the ground, laughing "And yes, she is really old" Then she glared at the offending mare who came up with that horrendous nickname.

"What?" Trollestia recovered, completely ignore the Timelord. "Age is just a number, you know?" She chirped, defending her position. "It's all about the compatibility if you got what I mean."

The principal perked up "Yes...... age is just a numbe-agh!" Before she got stomped by the sun empress.

"Sometimes, I do regret my life choice." TCB Celestia shook her head. "I wonder if there is-"

Suddenly, the door slide opened, and a white canine walked in with a cart "Anybody wants to eat meat cake?" Celestian Husky asked, wagging her tail "We have all kinds of meat, freshly hunted from yours truly."

To everyone's disgust, Daybreaker pipped out. "Do you have griffin's meat" She licked her muzzle in anticipation.

"Nope!" The doge replied. "But we got a dragon, Klingon, Twi'lek, and more!" She Celestian Husky then looked at TCB Celestia "Boss's order me to not hunted any quadruple races, and focused on those 'pesky, inferior bipedal' if possible"

"Hmm" TCB Celestia has a feeling that the canine still only hunted sapient creatures, seeing as she completely omitted that part of the order to try to hunt animals of lower intelligence.

But that's not what caught her attention. "What's this Twi'lek you speak of?" She asked.

As always, Celestian Husky already anticipated this question from the mare. "A space-faring humanoid from a human-centric civilization"

At that comment, TCB Celestia's eyes light up. "Magic, Technology, Firepower, and Size" she continues "Max and current max, please."

"Alicorn type-3, partial magic based, Star system destroyer, galaxy" Celestian Husky tapped her paw at the floor, recalling the information. "Alicorn foal, none magic based, planet atomizer, and still a galaxy"

"Competency?" The final and most important question.

Celestian Husky smirked at that. "Ten thousand years clocked in after a great collapse." She sneered. "And they currently hadn't even halfway reached the level of their past self yet"

"As expected of the of a humanity shithole...." TCB Celestia contemplated for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. "Alright, we are moving out." She declared. "No bipedal shall be left untouched."

"You sure, Mommy?" Celly asked, climbing down off the sun empress's back.

"Yippy whee! A road trip!" Trollestia shouted.

"Yes, I am, and don't call me mommy." TCB Celestia replied, "Principal, go gathered your 'students' now, we are moving out!"

"And they have Jedi younglings" Celestian Husky added a good motivation for the mare.

Principal Celestia's face morphed into a predatory smile. "Yesssss, the younglings" She then teleported out of Daybreaker's hoof. "The students of the sun will be ready to deploy ASAP!" And out of the room she is.

"Anything that we had to be aware of?" Daybreaker asked, there's always a catch.

"A human named Anakin Skywalker, a magic user" The canine replied as opened up a food tray, this talk is already too long "And he hates sand"

"Sand..... I see" Trollestia teleported to her marecave, preparing special treats for her next unfortunate victims.

"Can he actually walk in the sky" Celly curiously asked.

"Is he a temporal anomaly?" Timelord Celestia opened her mouth for the first time as her specialty came up.

Celestian Husky swallowed whole a tube of intestine in her Vulcan soup, before looking up from her plate. "He is called by the title 'chosen one', he who brings balance to the force" She continued "And no, he's just a really good fighter pilot."

Timelord Celestia looked down into her time vortex viewfinder "He will slaughter the light magic users to bring the balance back..... that's kind of ironic, what's a bunch of morons."

She then pulled out a remote key. "He's definitely an anomaly, I am going to the Gallopfrey." Her ship slowly bends the fabric of reality into existence "I will need to restock my supplies"

"Well, How about you two? Your Mejestry, Celly?" TCB Celestia turned her head to the duo.

"I'll go wherever you go momma!" Celly chirped, nuzzling into TCB Celestia foreleg.

Daybreaker's smile go feral "Well, who can say no to putting night-loving flanks in their place?" Her fangs glittered.

"Most space-faring civilizations had no choice, but to be night-loving flanks" Celly deadpanned "Their ships literally sail the sea of stars"

Daybreaker was going to break out another verbal fight but got cut off by the eugenic-loving mare.

"Let's go" TCB Celestia said as she open the door. "And you..." She looked at the umbrum alicorn.

"In the end, only eternity of..." Umbrum Tia continues her mutters.

TCB Celestia cringed "Please let's Nurslestia look at your brain or something, I know dark magic is a bitch sometimes"

"Hey!" Celestian Husky protested, red meat still in her mouth. Blood spattered all over her teeth.

"S-sorry" TCB Celestia suppressed her shudder, then looked into one of the optical sensors. "Celest-AI, prepare the Victoria Solis for sorties"

"Quarry accepted" A robotic voice, Celest-AI's rudimentary voice command system, response.

---

As two mares, one canine, and a filly stride forwards, toward their next mission.

"Supreme leader aboard, begin the launch sequence"

determination in the eyes of crews and with unwavering willpower, they will complete this new task.

"All systems go, the Victoria Solis is ready to launch"

They will do what must be done. And uphold the sacredness of life, or something along that line.

"Reality Synthesizer is nominal, prepare for the jump."

To save the poor humanity... from themselves.

"Plane-shift in 3 2 1..."

And maybe, having fun and building an empire along the way.

TCB: The League of Celestias - In a Galaxy Far, Far away

Author's Note:

I don't even read a single conversion bureau or Friendship is Optimal, and only reseach about starswars from a couple of videos on youtube....

I just needed to get this thing out of my system, so I can focused on my main story.

Please don't expected any sequel.

credit

And yes, arsenal bird is the same as that ace combat's arsenal bird.

It's too cool to not let's an AI overlord like Celest-AI used it.

Comments

[PrincePegacornV]

[EndlessPossibilities58]

Coming soon to theaters

AVENGERS:
The Celestia Dynasty

[Kichi]

It could be worse... Princess Molestia was not invited

[hmaf43]

11624112
Principal Celestia was originally Molestia, but I thinks it's funnier this way.

[Kichi]

11625733
I guessed you divided Molestia into her and Trollestia

[Xanderfox]

I bet regular Celestia is always "sick" when meetings are held...

[Status L]

I wonder where they sealed Molestia.