Slave to a Stallion

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NanoMouse

NanoMouse #1 · Oct 17th, 2022 · 2 · 3 ·

It's a fun expansion to the first, both in terms of the world and characters here. I like the little moment where the yet-to-be-named Master assured his slave that the soon-to-be-wife will use him soon; it's good to show he does care, when previously he was too silent to really tell how exactly he felt.

I can definitely feel the "Couldn't think of an ending so I just stopped here"-ness of the last scene, though. I think if nothing else, you could have probably just written a quick "and then everyone went to sleep for the day" scene to cap it off in a similar manner to the previous story, maybe shifting forward the timeline of events a little bit if necessary.

Little bit disappointed not to see the master poop in his human this time though. I know that this one doesn't actually coven a full day, but like, does this stallion just not shit ever? That was a bit odd about the original too, I'll admit, that in the colt story he only pooped once throughout the entire day, but at least it wasn't none.

Either way, don't let my nitpicks fool you. I enjoyed both stories for the really unique world you've built here, being able to be both fun and tender in a way that this particular fetish usually never is. I'd love to see it be continued, if you ever figure out how.

Shady Nail