Four males living and working in a abandoned office building get their normal day to day doings scrambled up as they get visited by the most dangerous and unwanted kind of criminal...
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 14th Mar, 2022
- offline last seen Last Thursday
Mr Mlp
A very knowledged filled brony who likes being funny, writing, and experiencing what the brony community has to offer.
Mr Mlp
Joined 14th Mar, 2022 ·
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Why is the picture of Starry Flame?😂
lol...where did you find that silly picture?
11291317
I have no idea what the frick I'm going to do with the picture so I just used that screenshot that I had, which I liked.
11291361
A better love story than Twilight 5
I feel like I might be missing something with this story. You did have some exposition to explain some things, I'll admit, but I feel compelled to say that that could have been done more naturally. I was a bit confused when I realized the characters were all humans; since you don't have the Human tag, I just assumed this was a FO:E story at first. You also don't have either the Comedy or Random tags, despite this seeming to be a wacky comedy, unless that's not your intention. You also have quite a few mechanical errors throughout, which were a bit distracting.
11304081
Yeah I know, I'm not very proud of this story to be honest. I decided to write a chapter in a day which was incredibly stupid and not think about all of the stuff that I would want to do with the story. And really the first two chapters were used to set up a lot of mystery, but yeah... it didn't go so well. The story isn't finished and there was going to be mlp characters in the story, but with the way these first two chapters played out I'm considering not finishing it, due to it really just feeling like a lazy job on my part.