Outlawed and illegal

by Mr Mlp

First published

Four males in an abandoned office setting... what could possibly happen?

Four males living and working in a abandoned office building get their normal day to day doings scrambled up as they get visited by the most dangerous and unwanted kind of criminal...

Chapter 1: Outlawed

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Towns and cities were bustling with stores, buildings, and all sorts of generic one story homes. But the key word is were as now these once shiny and blooming with potential cities have been damaged and destroyed. No longer were there nice sunny days to grace the world or beautiful serine waters to gaze upon, but damp, dark, and dreary days were the only things to look forward towards.

Still normality once again took suit as everyone became used to the depressing lifestyle. Buildings, stores and homes came into existence again. With the now terrible lifestyle running rampid, criminals also ran swiftly throughout towns stealing and hurting and just plainly being a menace to society. Eventually this problem was combated as any criminal to show their true colors were to be banished to the wastelands, where the original destruction of the world took place.

And about a couple blocks past the dirty and decrepit doughnut store was an abandoned office building home to four nasty criminals. This is their story-

"Ow! What was that for!" He glanced around the run-down scenery. All he could see as he sat at his office desk were rocks, dirt, and wet ceilings until looking up the twisted face of his friend popped up from the other side of the barrier surrounding his own desk.

"Oh, I just felt like it. You know with the title you got on your back I shouldn't even be talking with you."

"Yeah and I wish I wasn't the only one with my title, besides you say that all the time, you dried up lego brick." He went back to work on his paperwork gathering inspiration to continue on from the other numerous objects placed on his desk, but annoyingly to him his friend kept on yammering.

"Your insults can't hurt me Jordan!"

Jordan let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, I know they can't... Micheal."

"You know I'm just messing with you! We all have our own titles and we all did our own messed up things to have us thrown into this hell hole. Like holy shit this place is horrible."

"Can you guys stop cursing! It makes me very uncomfortable and you guys know that!" He shouted from about 3 spaced out office desks away.

Micheal shouted back, "Never! You can't control me!"

"How did you even hear us?"

"That's a good point Jordan," Micheal said in agreeance.

"Well if you take my name Herald and mix up the letters a bit you get Hearld."

"BOOOO!"

"Ah come on Micheal it wasn't that bad! I mean if you take my name, get rid of J, r, and n. Then add the letters T, H, W, S, G, P, and U and sometimes maybe add a second or third of the same letter to my name. Arrange them into a specific order you would get... That was good pun."

"Jordan... don't encourage the guy."

"I'm going back to my paper work."

"Same here."

Jordan and Herald went straight back to work, while Micheal was struggling to combat the waves of boredom striking him down as he stared down at his paper work. But then he stood up.

"Why do we have to do this again?"

"Bro! CaN I jUsT dO My WoRK?!" Jordan screeched.

"Can it, we've been doing this for how long now?"

"5 months Micheal."

"Exactly! Don't we deserve a break?"

"Sure, go tell the boss that."

Micheal sat back down into deep thought. He's been here for 5 months and not once has he asked the boss for anything... there was no way he was going to start now.

"Jordan you do it."

"WHAT?!"

"I said you do it."

"I don't wanna ask for a vacation or something! I'm going to make this day 20% more freighting than it already is!"

"Jordan, if it gets Micheal to sit down and stop bothering us then you should probably go ahead and do it. Plus maybe you can actually convince him with your unique and to me uncomprehensible references to that show you like way to much."

"Damn, good insult Herald," Micheal complimented.

"I wasn't trying to insult him."

"You still make a fantastic argument Herald."

Jordan began his trek across the dilapidated room and up the stairs one floor, Occasionally tripping on a chair or maybe just a small boulder as he finally made it to the boss' office. The boss' office that looked just as old as he was.

"Ello there."

"Sup."

An uncomfortable long silence plagued the room as neither one of them choose to speak up.

"I have a question."

"What is it Jimmy boy?"

"Me and the boys were... you know... casually thinking..."

"Mhm, carry on."

"And a interesting idea was brought up."

His eyes widened considerably at the mention of that word interesting. "Ah, interesting. You know me I will take anything interesting into consideration."

"Yep, absolutely. So we would like to..."

"Yesssss, what is it?"

"Have a..."

"Why are you speaking so slow? It's so easy! Just say words!"

"Vacation."

"A- a what now?"

"Vacation, kind of like a long, very long lunch break."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The boss began to wildly bounce around the room screaming his head off over the simple concept of a vacation. In mere moments the neatly stacked papers and orderly feel of the room was shattered as the boss ruined it in a matter of seconds.

"I'm just going to go..." Jordan sprinted down the stairs and quickly plopped down back into the safety of his own work desk.

"Well what did he say?"

"He said AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Of course he did. Let's hope when he calms down and actually thinks it over he'll say yes."

With a sigh of relief Jordan was about to get back to work when-

Ring-a-ding-a-ling.

The sounds of bells chimed echoing and making it's way to the ears of the three boys. "I'll go get it," said Herald walking up to the front door.

"What do you think it'll be this time?"

"Maybe something about Apples?"

"What is with you and apples this week."

"I'm in a apple kind of mood. Apple trees, Apple farms, Apple cider."

"Eh, whatever."

Within seconds of their conversation ending Herald came crashing into the room hollering at the top of his lungs, "WE GOT A SITUATION!" Herald ducked into the corner of his designated work desk cowering in fear.

"What the hell... Jordan you stay here I'm going to see what's up."

In another few seconds Micheal came rushing back to Jordan still maintaining his composure, but a little shaken up.

"Listen, your not gonna want to go out there. And honestly you should not even see what kind of thing is out there. I'm going up to tell the boss and whatever you do stay here."

Jordan stood there with a blank expression on his face wondering what all the hub bub was about. What could this so-called situation be? A murderer? No, we've dealt with them before. A terrorist? No, still not big enough to warrant such a panic. Perhaps it was... no, it couldn't be. No one has seen one of those in such a long time.

Jordan sat down trying to get the thought to escape his head. Unfortunate enough for him his curiosity got the better of him and so he stood up and treaded slowly across the room towards the front door. And one glance at the girl who had stepped into their office building had told him all that he needed to know.

Her hair was brown and mangled. Her face plastered with dirt and dust, with a pair of 3 freckles on each cheek. Her clothes were slightly torn up. But the most notable and important detail was her shirt for it was no ordinary shirt. Straight in the middle of it all was a color drained shirt of the pony Princess Twilight Sparkle. She was not some sort of criminal or dangerous person. She was much worse. She was a...

Pegasister...

Chapter 2: Illegal

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There are numerous types of shifty people living out their lives in the world. You could have a talk with a person and think to yourself, "wow, what a nice, kind, and understanding individual." However you would have no idea of the kinds of atrocities that person has inflicted o the world.

Shoplifting, stealing, murder, or objectively the most horrendous offense known to mankind. Watching a seemingly delicate children's cartoon about animated ponies. It was vile, it was outright unthinkable, it was dangerous to all means possible, and anyone stupid enough to do it would not only be banished outside of normal society, but would also be an outcast to anyone in general.

So, seeing the sight of a pegasister was understandably a perfect time to panic. But, Jordan did not run or scream or shout instead his face beamed with the upmost shimmering smile seen to mankind.

"Pegasister?"

"Yes?"

"Pegasister..."

"Yep."

"PEGASISTER!"

"YU HUH!"

"WOOOOOOOO!"

"Ok, chill the fuck out. Can someone please help me out here. I just got banished and I want to know how am suppossed to survive in this place. I saw that this building had the word "HELP" on it so I thought I'd check it out."

"Well we do specialize in helping criminals here in the wasteland, but your a pegasister, you know you can't just expect people to help you!"

"I had to do something, besides I thought there would be a lot more bronies and pegasisters here anyway."

"Welllll, you would think... but seriously though we gotta get you sorted out. Come-eth with me-eth."

The pegasister shrugged her shoulders and followed the man who just started imitating old timely English for no reason at all, she knew she was desperate for some help.

"Herald you can stop cowering in fear."

"I'm sorry, but I will not do that!"

"Yeah, he did that when I first showed up here as well."

The pegasister shrugged her shoulders once again letting Jordan plump down to his desk sorting through papers untill he set down a tiny stack ready to be filled out. He scooped up his pen about to begin the process, only to be interrupted by the pegasister pointing out a little trinket sat aside on Jordan's desk.

"Hey wait a second that's princess Luna..."

"Yep, the best princess," Jordan exclaimed confidently with a brimming grin. "Oh, and Twilight doesn't count. She's just an amazing pony in general."

"Holy shit your a brony?!"

"Halle-fricken-luia I am."

"Give me a high five man"

Jordan slapped the hand of the pegasister, while also simultaneously shouting "WOO!" when their hand clapped together.

"Ok, I still have a lot of questions."

"Hit me. I love answering questions."

"WHY ARE YOU STILL CONVERSING WITH THE ENEMY?!" Herald bellowed.

"Shush up, Herald."

"Alright one, I've been hearing loud noises up on the next floor. Is everything going alright up there?"

"Yeah, that's just our boss. He's kind of a psycho. But then again who isn't."

"Two, what exactly do you do here?"

"Well in a place like this where evil people run amok through the wastelands and you could say help is a... RARITY!"

...

"Your right bad joke, we set up near the location where most people land when first appearing in the wastelands and hope that these new people will see our building, come in, and we can smoothly integrate them into the rough system we have in this desolate location."

"Alright cool, could you say that simpler."

"THAT WAS SIMPLE- ok... so... location here close to new wasteland guys and we try help them. Got it?"

"Yeah I think I got it."

"It'll make much more sense when we run you though the process."

"WE?!"

"Be quiet Herald! How long have you've been here by the way?"

"This is going to sound very specific, but one hour and sev-"

"DON'T SAY THAT NUMBER!"

"Oh yeah right, forgot about that. Let's just say six minutes. Now I have one last question."

"Hit me with your best shot."

"Well upon first entering the wasteland I found something on the ground and I was wondering if you guys know what it is. Let me just take it out of my pocket-"

"JORDAN! I TOLD YOU TO STAY RIGHT THERE! YOU LET HER IN THE OFFICE SPACE?! OH SHIT SHE'S PULLING OUT A GUN! HIT THE FUCKEN DECK!"

Micheal jumped into the corner where Herald had been cowering in, crouching down preparing for shots to be fired. Herald gave Micheal a stern look that said "Did you really have to curse there?" The boss that had been led down by Micheal took action into his own hands straight up bolting and tackling down the pegasister.

"OW! What the fuck!"

The boss reached into her pocket pulling out what seemed to be just a purple gemstone.

"I've got the gun! Wait... this isn't a gun... damn and here I thought we were finally getting some action in this place. False alarm boys, no guns here..."

The boss stood up letting the pegasister go. The pegasister stumbled back wildly falling over when she had tried to stand up.

"Ok hold on boss man... why did you let her go? She's a pegasister!" Micheal questioned.

"When you've been living in the wastelands for as long as I am you know who's a threat and who isn't. Stand down boys... we're safe."

"Are you sure?" Herald asked in his still very shaken up voice.

"Yes sonny, now out with you! Get out from that corner!"

"I told you guys she was chill!" Jordan said in triumph.

"I don't want to say this, but not really," Refuted Herald.

"Now Missy! What's your name and why have you come to my office building!"

"Well, my name is Jenny and I came here for help, which is what the SIGN outside the building says."

"Mmmmm Carl... that's a good name! My name's Billy!"

"Wha-"

"Well I'm sure we can teach you the basics on how survival works in this here wasteland, but first we must use your blood to sign our paperwork so we know you've already been to our office! I can smell you blood!"

"WHA-"

"I'm kidding! ... Mostly! ... Well at the moment I am, but you get the idea!"

"Before we get into this survival training stuff I still would like to know about this rock and if you guys got any clue on to what it is."

"Looks like a unholy purple nightmare stone," Billy pointed out.

"Nah I would say it's more in the shape of a star," Micheal said.

"I don't know why you guys are so curious about this thing, it's just some sort of gemstone," Herald spoke out.

"We don't get gemstones here! In all my years living and surviving I ain't never seen a gemstone anywhere in the wasteland. Whatever it is is probably pretty special."

"Hey wait a second... it kinda looks like the element of magic."

"Isn't that from Gen 4? I never watched that gen," Jenny claimed.

"Oh no no no no no no no no... NOT MORE BRONY MATERIAL!" Micheal sprinted across the room picked up a hammer from the ground and charged towards the location of the stone. Everyone quickly jumped out of the way as Micheal struck the stone with the hammer putting in all of his might into the blow.

"Come on man, it was just a rock!"

"I'm sorry Jordan, but being friends with a brony and being in the presence of a pegasister is enough for me. I don't want to hear you guys gushing over a stone."

"Well look what you did sonny boy! You made the stone start beeping!"

All four turned to look at the strange, now beeping stone that had fallen into their grasps. The more they looked the faster the beeping got until eventually it let out a vulgar wailing sound.

"I think we should get out of here!"

"What?!"

"I said I think we should-"

[Insert explosion here]

In a matter of seconds the five humans that once stood in the run down office setting had simply vanished as the blue and weirdly wavy looking explosion engulfed the humans. And all that was left to remember them by was a stack of papers... and the little trinket of princess Luna still standing peacefully on Jordan's desk.