There are numerous types of shifty people living out their lives in the world. You could have a talk with a person and think to yourself, "wow, what a nice, kind, and understanding individual." However you would have no idea of the kinds of atrocities that person has inflicted o the world.
Shoplifting, stealing, murder, or objectively the most horrendous offense known to mankind. Watching a seemingly delicate children's cartoon about animated ponies. It was vile, it was outright unthinkable, it was dangerous to all means possible, and anyone stupid enough to do it would not only be banished outside of normal society, but would also be an outcast to anyone in general.
So, seeing the sight of a pegasister was understandably a perfect time to panic. But, Jordan did not run or scream or shout instead his face beamed with the upmost shimmering smile seen to mankind.
"Pegasister?"
"Yes?"
"Pegasister..."
"Yep."
"PEGASISTER!"
"YU HUH!"
"WOOOOOOOO!"
"Ok, chill the fuck out. Can someone please help me out here. I just got banished and I want to know how am suppossed to survive in this place. I saw that this building had the word "HELP" on it so I thought I'd check it out."
"Well we do specialize in helping criminals here in the wasteland, but your a pegasister, you know you can't just expect people to help you!"
"I had to do something, besides I thought there would be a lot more bronies and pegasisters here anyway."
"Welllll, you would think... but seriously though we gotta get you sorted out. Come-eth with me-eth."
The pegasister shrugged her shoulders and followed the man who just started imitating old timely English for no reason at all, she knew she was desperate for some help.
"Herald you can stop cowering in fear."
"I'm sorry, but I will not do that!"
"Yeah, he did that when I first showed up here as well."
The pegasister shrugged her shoulders once again letting Jordan plump down to his desk sorting through papers untill he set down a tiny stack ready to be filled out. He scooped up his pen about to begin the process, only to be interrupted by the pegasister pointing out a little trinket sat aside on Jordan's desk.
"Hey wait a second that's princess Luna..."
"Yep, the best princess," Jordan exclaimed confidently with a brimming grin. "Oh, and Twilight doesn't count. She's just an amazing pony in general."
"Holy shit your a brony?!"
"Halle-fricken-luia I am."
"Give me a high five man"
Jordan slapped the hand of the pegasister, while also simultaneously shouting "WOO!" when their hand clapped together.
"Ok, I still have a lot of questions."
"Hit me. I love answering questions."
"WHY ARE YOU STILL CONVERSING WITH THE ENEMY?!" Herald bellowed.
"Shush up, Herald."
"Alright one, I've been hearing loud noises up on the next floor. Is everything going alright up there?"
"Yeah, that's just our boss. He's kind of a psycho. But then again who isn't."
"Two, what exactly do you do here?"
"Well in a place like this where evil people run amok through the wastelands and you could say help is a... RARITY!"
...
"Your right bad joke, we set up near the location where most people land when first appearing in the wastelands and hope that these new people will see our building, come in, and we can smoothly integrate them into the rough system we have in this desolate location."
"Alright cool, could you say that simpler."
"THAT WAS SIMPLE- ok... so... location here close to new wasteland guys and we try help them. Got it?"
"Yeah I think I got it."
"It'll make much more sense when we run you though the process."
"WE?!"
"Be quiet Herald! How long have you've been here by the way?"
"This is going to sound very specific, but one hour and sev-"
"DON'T SAY THAT NUMBER!"
"Oh yeah right, forgot about that. Let's just say six minutes. Now I have one last question."
"Hit me with your best shot."
"Well upon first entering the wasteland I found something on the ground and I was wondering if you guys know what it is. Let me just take it out of my pocket-"
"JORDAN! I TOLD YOU TO STAY RIGHT THERE! YOU LET HER IN THE OFFICE SPACE?! OH SHIT SHE'S PULLING OUT A GUN! HIT THE FUCKEN DECK!"
Micheal jumped into the corner where Herald had been cowering in, crouching down preparing for shots to be fired. Herald gave Micheal a stern look that said "Did you really have to curse there?" The boss that had been led down by Micheal took action into his own hands straight up bolting and tackling down the pegasister.
"OW! What the fuck!"
The boss reached into her pocket pulling out what seemed to be just a purple gemstone.
"I've got the gun! Wait... this isn't a gun... damn and here I thought we were finally getting some action in this place. False alarm boys, no guns here..."
The boss stood up letting the pegasister go. The pegasister stumbled back wildly falling over when she had tried to stand up.
"Ok hold on boss man... why did you let her go? She's a pegasister!" Micheal questioned.
"When you've been living in the wastelands for as long as I am you know who's a threat and who isn't. Stand down boys... we're safe."
"Are you sure?" Herald asked in his still very shaken up voice.
"Yes sonny, now out with you! Get out from that corner!"
"I told you guys she was chill!" Jordan said in triumph.
"I don't want to say this, but not really," Refuted Herald.
"Now Missy! What's your name and why have you come to my office building!"
"Well, my name is Jenny and I came here for help, which is what the SIGN outside the building says."
"Mmmmm Carl... that's a good name! My name's Billy!"
"Wha-"
"Well I'm sure we can teach you the basics on how survival works in this here wasteland, but first we must use your blood to sign our paperwork so we know you've already been to our office! I can smell you blood!"
"WHA-"
"I'm kidding! ... Mostly! ... Well at the moment I am, but you get the idea!"
"Before we get into this survival training stuff I still would like to know about this rock and if you guys got any clue on to what it is."
"Looks like a unholy purple nightmare stone," Billy pointed out.
"Nah I would say it's more in the shape of a star," Micheal said.
"I don't know why you guys are so curious about this thing, it's just some sort of gemstone," Herald spoke out.
"We don't get gemstones here! In all my years living and surviving I ain't never seen a gemstone anywhere in the wasteland. Whatever it is is probably pretty special."
"Hey wait a second... it kinda looks like the element of magic."
"Isn't that from Gen 4? I never watched that gen," Jenny claimed.
"Oh no no no no no no no no... NOT MORE BRONY MATERIAL!" Micheal sprinted across the room picked up a hammer from the ground and charged towards the location of the stone. Everyone quickly jumped out of the way as Micheal struck the stone with the hammer putting in all of his might into the blow.
"Come on man, it was just a rock!"
"I'm sorry Jordan, but being friends with a brony and being in the presence of a pegasister is enough for me. I don't want to hear you guys gushing over a stone."
"Well look what you did sonny boy! You made the stone start beeping!"
All four turned to look at the strange, now beeping stone that had fallen into their grasps. The more they looked the faster the beeping got until eventually it let out a vulgar wailing sound.
"I think we should get out of here!"
"What?!"
"I said I think we should-"
[Insert explosion here]
In a matter of seconds the five humans that once stood in the run down office setting had simply vanished as the blue and weirdly wavy looking explosion engulfed the humans. And all that was left to remember them by was a stack of papers... and the little trinket of princess Luna still standing peacefully on Jordan's desk.