Chapter 1
Two days after the successful wedding in Canterlot Twilight was heading back to the library from shopping. While she was
walking threw the main squere of Ponyville she saw there was a commotion near the flower boutique while she was looking there
Lyra was waving and shouting to her.
"Twilight, Twilight you've gotta come and see this."
Twilight was walking closer and closer, more ponies gathered aroud that something when she was only a few hooves away
overheard a few things "What is this thing?","Oh in the name of Celestia where did this come from".
"Calm down everypony. It is a changeling, these things wanted to overtake Canterlot a few days ago. I'll deal with it."
Without further explanation the light purple coloured aura appeared around Twilight's horn and the changeling, the
teleportation spell worked exactly how Twilight wished for it, she landed in the middle of the hall and the changeling
appeared next to the table on the sofa on a few books.
Without having around Spike the hall looked like a complete mess, books on the floor everywhere.
"And he is gone only a day ago" she teleported the books away to their places from under the changeling and the other books
as well it only took a minute to her.
"What am i suppose to now?, Good job Twilight look what you got yourself into again."
She walked next to the sleeping changeling and poked it's head with her hoof.
"Hey wake up."
The changeling didn't move nor open her eyes.
"It's not dead at least i don't think so" Twilight placed a hoof on the changeling's body. "It's heart still beating and
breathing too".
Twilight turned away trying to figure out something.
"For the love of Celestia stupid changeling," her eyes shot wide open from the realization "Oh Wait Celestia she will know
what to do with it".
"Spike take a note I need." "Ah, yeah, Spike is not here"
She walked next to the now book free table and pulled out a shelf which contain the necessary things to write a letter
(paper,ink, quill)..
Dear Princess Celestia
I need your help as soon as you can today an unconscious changeling appeared in Ponyville, before anything could
happen i teleported it to my house and tried to wake it up to get some answers from it without much success, that's
why i'm seeking your help how to deal with it or maybe i can teleport it back in the Everfree Forest and let it have
the faith what it deserves.
Your faithful student
Twilight Sparkle
Twilight rolled up the letter and before she activated the long range teleporting spell. She closed her eyes and focused to
only one person, Princess celestia just like the first and the second time when she was forced to use this spell. First time
the letter was found infront of the Canterlot's main gate, the second attempt was better, but still a failure,it was found by
a guard in the Canterlot Castle Garden.
"I hope this time she gets the letter right in front of her, i can't think or do anything while this thing is lying here".
A ten minutes later a letter appeared on the table from the Princess, She levitated the letter in front of her.
Dear Twilight Sparkle
You must not think about the changelings as things, they are just as living creatures of Equestria like you or me.
From today that changeling is your responsibility when she/he wakes up try to welcome her/him with a warmer heart
than you spoke about her/him in your previous letter. Don't judge about the changelings what happend in Canterlot.
Oh and Luna wishes to know why did you wake her up with the letter which wasn't meant to her.
The Co-Ruler of Equestria
Princess Celestia
"Great, i messed it up again. I need to practise a lot more with this spell than any other ones before. I hope Luna not mad
at me."
"This stupid changeling everything is it's fault. Maybe i should kill it and drop it's body off in the Everfree forest."
"You can't do that, Celestia told you she or he is your responsibility if anything would happen to that changeling
Celestia wouldn't forgive you too easily."
"Screw Celestia, no one ever gonna find out, no one cares about these stupid things. It's just a changeling from the swarm."
"But you will know, you can't take a living being life away."
"It's only a thing and i broke things all the time it's not that difficult."
"You won't be able to do it."
"Of course I will"
The other voice in her head didn't respond anything. Twilight began to collect the magical power in her horn.
When the required energy built up in her horn ready to fire, she aimed to the changeling and released the beam.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE." The moment after she let go the energy she was knocked off from her hoof by the full force of the Royal Canterlot voice from Luna's mouth who was standing only a few hooves behind Twilight.
"Luna"
Twilight looked at the changeling, but it wasn't there anymore then she turned to the princess. She saw only a few burned
book behind where the changeling was before the shot.
"It was an illusion."
"Princess, I"
"No, Twilight don't even try to explain it. I've heard and seen enough, first you talk in a disrespectful way about your
mentor who has been like a mother to you then you try to murder an innocent living creature of Equestria. Give me a paper
and a quill right now."
When Luna saw Twilight doesn't obey she ordered again using the Royal voice.
"BRING ME A PAPER AND A QUILL NOW!."
She jumped on her hooves and opened the same self from the table and levitated everything in front of the princess what she
asked for the ink aswell. Luna began to write the letter.
"What was i doing? What's wrong with me? She will tell everything to Celestia and she will banish me to the moon."
Luna stopped writing for a second and looked at Twilight, it was only a few second eye contact then Luna broke it and
continued the letter.
This was the moment when Twilight realized" She can read my thoughts". Luna finished the letter and sent it off.
A few minutes awkward silence passed in the hall which was broke by Twilight.
"What's going to happen with me Princess?"
Luna looked at Twilight but without saying anything turned away.
"Princess?"
Twilight lowered her head and lay down on the ground when she understood Luna won't answer her. Another long minutes passed
which felt to Twilight like hours she tried not to think anything or do anything then a letter appeared infront of Luna.
The Princess opened it then levitated it in front of Twilight so she can read it too what the letter contains.
My Dear Sister
The decision is rest on your hooves.
Your sister
Tia
Twilight looked at Luna.
"Luna What does she mean?."
Luna opened her mouth to answer but she was interrupted by the sound of the waking up changeling.
"Where am i? asked the changeling with a weak voice with her blue eyes barely open."
"You are in Ponyville's library. answered Luna"
"How did i get here and who." When she fully opened her eyes and laid her eyes on the dark blue pony she realized she is an alicorn, the Princess of the Night herself.
"You, You are Princess Luna." The changeling tried to get up from the sofa but her hooves didn't support what her mind want to do.
"So you know who i am, Would you like to tell me your name?"
"My name is Shadow Hunter princess, but the other changelings call me Shade."
Luna saw the scared the looked on the changeling's face.
"Don't worry Shadow, I'm not here to hurt you. Luna shot a angry look at Twilight who didn't move or speak since the
changeling woke up." "But i have to know why are you here."
Shadow looked away in shame and tried to take a huge breath before telling the Princess.
"After we failed to conquer Canterlot, that blast scattered the swarm all over Equestria, I ended up in the Everfree forest, i tried to find the closest changeling to me who is alive but when i arrived he was near death. He wasn't as lucky as me both of his wings got separated from his body and a tree branch was sticking out from his body, the grass all around him was covered in his blood."
"Before he died, he disconnected his mind from the swarm and told me there is a another way to stay alive then feeding from others love but i have to find it myself and throw away the swarm to try to walk that path, so i did. After his death in the last 2 days i've been stealing apples and other food from Ponyville to stay alive but it is not enough."
"Why did you believe him?" asked Luna still a bit suprised from the changeling's story.
"Because he was one of our commander and my father as well!"
Luna examined the weak changeling with her magic.
"So Shadow what are you planning to do, if you don't feed soon you will die and you know it too."
"Yes, But Princess i don't want to feed that way anymore that's why i left the swarm, that's why i severed my mind from
the collective forever." Small tears began to form in the changeling's sky blue eyes.
"Twilight would you like to end her misery?" After this question she received two ponies looking at her suprised.
"But, Princess you"
"Don't talk Shadow." Luna raised a small sound barrier around Shadow Hunter.
Then Luna turned to face Twilight, their eyes locked eachother.
"so Twilight, my question still stands would you like to kill her, take her life?"
"Princess, I. She was still sitting on the ground."
"What's the matter Twilight, or maybe i should do it? She will die anyway why don't you want to help her."
"Princess i'm so sorry but we can't do that."
Luna dropped the barrier which left behind a confused and scared changeling.
"Princess what's going to happen with me?"
"You will suffer and then have a painful death." As she said these cold words she was still looking at Twilight whose body
began to shake.
"But you said, Is she going to do something with me?" Shadow pointed at Twilight.
"No she won't but that's how you will die if you don't feed soon, so Shadow here I'm take what you need. She looked at the
changeling."
"Is she serious? This must be a joke. How can she offer to that thing something like this."
"But Princess I don't want to."
"Would you rather fail your father last wish to live free?"
"Princess, Thank you for doing this, i'll always owe you my life."
"Why is Luna doing this, this is insane."
When the hungry changeling began the process, Luna could feel inside something but she couldn't explain what it was. It was
a really strange feeling even to an immortal goddess who lived through so much, when the changeling finished she felt so
weak that her four hooves couldn't hold her body and she collapsed on the ground.
The changeling shot out from the sofa toward the Princess.
"Princess i'm so sorry, i took away too much, are you alright?"
"Don't worry about me Shadow, i'm fine a few hours sleep and i'll regain my strenght."
"Princess, What should i do now? I mean, i don't know where should i go."
"You are allowed to stay here under my protection as long as it needed, but you have to promise me, you won't feed anypony else only me."
"I promise, but I'm not sure if Twilight Sparkle would be happy if i stay here."
They both turned their heads to Twilight.
"I'm sorry what i've tried to do and said before, it would be my pleasure if you would like to stay here, but how do you
know who i am?"
"Every changeling knows who are you that's why i came to Ponyville in the first place so maybe you can help me find the
answer what i've been seeking, but i was too scared what would happen if we meet."
Twilight looked on the ground feeling even worse herself how could she act like this.
"Twilight please set up two bed in the room next to yours."
"Right away Princess."
The room was ready with the two beds in a few minutes, before Twilight would tell them she took a look back at the room
making sure everything is properly cleaned. Luna sent off another letter probably to her sister thought Twilight. as she saw
it before inviteing them inside the room. The Princess carried a few book with herself up to the room followed by
Shadow Hunter who did the same.
Luna placed the books in front of Shadow then fell asleep in her bed almost immediatly as she hit the soft pillows.
Twilight would find it quiet funny, the Princess of the Night falls asleep before nighttime begins but under the
circumstances it was understandable. The sun was almost down only a few ray lighted up the sky but it was getting pretty dark.
Twilight was looking at the reading changeling then she lighted up a few candle around Shadow, who looked at Twilight
standing in the door.
"Thank you Twilight, for everything."
Twilight turned around and headed down, she closed the door behind her and was about to open the main door and remove the open sign from outside but before she could open the door someone knocked on it.
"Who can this be so late?" "Come in, the library's door is still open."
"Hi Twilight."
"Hi Lyra, are you here for the the second part of that Musician book? I'll get it for you give me a few sec."
"No It's not about that, i wanted to ask what did you do with the changeling?"
"Nothing."
"Is she still here?"
"Yes she is Lyra and Princess Luna as well so don't need to worry, now if you don't mind i need to sleep, it was a long
day."
"Ah ok sorry Twi good night."
"Goodnight you too Lyra."
Twilight waved with a hoof to Lyra then removed the open sign and closed the door behind her. She teleported herself into
her bed and levitated the blanket on her body and fell asleep.
---------------
Twilight slept this night more than usual when she looked at the clock, realized the library should be open by now.
"I miss Spike." thought Twilight while she slowly got out from bed and headed down to open the library.
She started her day just like any other regular ones but as she headed down the stairs a familiar smell was floating in the
air from the kitchen. "It can't be, Spike is still away in Trottingham, but if it's not him then who else would make my
favourite breakfast."
She slowly opened further the kitchen door but she took a step back when she saw some unknown pegasus in the kitchen.
"Who, Who are you and How did you get in here? asked the suprised unicorn with bit anger in her voice."
"Hey Twilight, Good morning, Princess Luna told me what's your favourite so i read a book about it and thought i'll make
it for you hope you will like it."
The pegasus was still concentrating to the food without looking at Twilight.
"Shadow?"
"Yes Twilight?"
"Twilight?" She turned to the door but the unicorn wasn't there anymore.
A few seconds later Shadow heard how Twilight slammed the door behind her which made Shadow to lower her head.
"I hope at least Luna will like it." She placed half of the freshly prepared food on a plate and brought it up to the Princess.
"Princess would you like to eat some?"
The Princess turned her head to the pegasus who seemed sad so she shot a warm smile to her.
"Yes thank you."
Shadow walked with the plate to her and placed it on the bed
"Wow, Shadow it smells great, thank you, but i told you, you don't need to do this, i can take care of myself."
"Did she like it?"
"I don't know, she left without taking a bite."
Shadow walked to her bed and pushed her face into the pillow which is smelled great. She felt this scent at night too but
she couldn't locate the source where is it coming from. She was reading whole night about changeling anatomy,
changeling shape shifting techniques and a cooking book too. A few minutes later when Luna finished eating she walked next to the hurt changeling.
"Shadow, thank you once more for the food, it was delicious and don't worry about Twilight she can act dumb sometimes no
matter how much she read or learn."
"It's alright Princess"
Before Luna left the room with the plate floating next to her surrended with her magic she turned back.
"That smell you feel is called levander."
------------------
Twilight was heading up to a small hill next to Ponyville. She spent there a lot of time when she wanted to be alone with
her thoughts or simply wanted to read a long book on the fresh air. She brought a few spell and Daring Do books with herself this time. She didn't know how many hours passed but when she was about to start the fourth book a voice called greated her from the sky.
"Hi Twilight".
"Hi Cloud Chaser what's up?"
She asked without looking at the pegasus which was unusually rude from her, but the pegasus ignored it.
"Ahm Twilight, don't you think you should head home? We are about to start the storm in a few minutes."
"What do you." She aimed her head to the sky and behind the pegasus the whole sky was full of black and grey clouds and the wind's strengh was increaseing.
"Woaw, Thanks a lot for the warning Cloud Chaser i don't know what would happen if you don't come."
She packed the books into the bag and levitated it on her back.
"Don't even mention it Twi what are friends for."
"Bye and be careful with the storm."
"Like always Twilight." Said Cloud with a wink. "Bye"
"Great, now i'll have to spend the rest of the day with them and Princess Celestia is she ever going to forgive me?"
"Of Course she will, why wouldn't she."
"Why are you so sure about it?"
"Because i'm you and you know she will forgive you."
"But"
"No buts and you shuold stop having these conversations with yourself, in the end you will look like some crazypony."
"You are right, I mean i'm right"
"Btw you should do soemthing with your main and tail cos you forgot to brush it in the morning."
"Do i look that bad?"
"Yes."
On the last hundred meter Twilight was running when she saw a few drop fall from the sky.
She got inside the house just in time, a few seconds later the rain started to fall from the clouds.
"Thanks a lot Cloud Chaser"
She turned away from the door's little window and saw Shadow as she staring at her without blinking a few meter away.
"What are you staring at?" asked Twilight with a sensible anger in her voice.
"You"
"And Why are you staring at me?!"
"I"
"You know what, i don't care."
Twilight was heading up on the stairs when she felt a hoof on her back. She turned around ready to fire from her horn
"Don't touch ME!" Screamed Twilight as she turned around and without further thought she released the magic.
The blast from her horn was enough to push the changeling away but the magic got held by a shield which surrounded Princess Luna's body.
"Welcombe back Twilight." Was all what the princess said
"Princess i-i'm so sorry, i thought."
"Don't worry Twilight i'm fine but you look like who could eat something and a hot shower wouldn't hurt either."
"Princess"
"There is still food in the kitchen and it's quite delicious."
"Very well Princess."
Twilight went down the stairs and turned to the kitchen on the way she looked at Shadow for a moment who was still staring at her. She walked next to the table and levitated the food piece by piece in her mouth. It was a bit cold so she warmed it with her magic before placing it in her mouth, but it was really good, almost as good as Spike would make it. She levitated a small mirror infront of her.
"Wow i really look horrible just like that thursday."
"Luna was right a hot bath would really help."
On the way to the bathroom she saw Shadow kneeling on the sofa and reading a book which was unknown to Twilight. She stopped next to Shadow who looked up to her.
"Thanks a lot for the food it was very good and i'm sorry about my behaviour usually i'm not like this, It's just a bit wierd to have you here."
Shadow looked back to the book so Twilight thought she won't even care to say anything. She turned away and headed to the bathroom.
"Twilight can we talk?"
"Of course, but if you don't mind, i'd take a hot bath."
"Ah ok i don't mind."
Twilight went upstairs and Shadow followed her "She is probably going to Luna" thought her but when they arrived to the
the bathroom Twilight looked back at Shadow.
"So Shadow when you said that you don't mind if i take a bath you meant that you wanna talk while i'm having it?"
"Yes, is this a problem?"
"Ahm, no not at all."
After a few minutes of awkward silence while the tub got full of hot water Twilight broke the silence after sitting in.
"So What do you want to talk about?"
"I want to know, why do you hate me so much?"
"Look Shadow it's not that i hate you, it's hard to explain."
"I have time."
"After the destruction what the changelings did in Canterlot and how many ponies they hurt those i love if i could i'd wiped out every single changeling in all of equestria but if i try to do it no one would ever forgive me that so when the changeligs were defeated by the power of love I let that anger go, but when you showed up in Ponyville I couldn't let happen the same thing what happend in Canterlot because where 1 changeling shows up the rest of the swarm comes with it and yes i wanted to kill and i tried it too but Luna saved your life and told Celestia about it. When you told us what happend with you i felt so stupid and shamed about my actions and i only needed sometime to think i guess and what happend today i'm sorry about that too, i only hope you can ever forgive me."
"Twilight thank you for telling me the truth but you have to understand the swarm is a deep connection between the changelings when the main command was given by Chrisalis we had to obey her otherwise who disobey the others would kill the traitor. After i
disconnected my mind from the swarm the next 2 days have been the worst days in my life, I've never felt so lonely and lost in my whole life. The swarm have always been my family, everytime when i felt lonely someone was always there for me, It's hard to explain to someone who never been part of it and no pony ever will."
Shadow turned around and took a huge breath from the warm air while they were talking she didn't notice but now she felt
like she can taste the levander in the air.
"Shadow, Would you like to join me?"
She turned around suprised.
"I mean the bath is big enough and it can be quiet relaxing for someone who has been up all night reading books trust me, i know."
"Are you sure?"
"yes i'm, I wouldn't ask you otherwise and it's big enough for the both of us."
Shadow placed a hoof in the water for the first few second it was really hot then her hoof got used to it. She slowly moved inside the rest of her body in the water on the opposite side of the tub. Shadow was sitting in the same position as Twilight both of her front hooves spread around the side of the tub. Shadow spread her wings so the hot feeling can run through her whole body.
They were sitting like that for almost ten minutes just looking at eachother in silence, neither of them know what to say or talk about. The warm water and that levander scent washed away every thought and problem in Shadow's mind and she realized she could fall asleep right there and now but there was something else too what she never felt before. She closed her eyes and placed her head on her left hoof and let the warm relaxing pleasure take over her body.
Twilight was watching how Shadow falls asleep in the water on the other side, so she slowly came out from the it without waking up the sleeping pegasus. She wrapped a towel around her body and left the bathroom closing the door behind her.
"Do you feel yourself better Twilight?" asked Princess Luna when Twilight passed through in front their room.
"Oh Yes Priness a lot better, but can you speak a little quieter Shadow fell asleep in the bath."
"So now you care about her? What happend between the two of you in there?" asked Luna with a smile on her face
"Nothing, i mean we were only talking nothing else." Answered as fast as she could
Luna felt in Twilight's voice that she doesn't like to talk about these things.
"Don't worry Twilight i won't tell anyone this will be our little secret." Luna winked at Twilight teasing her.
"But we didn't do ANYTHING LIKE THAT!"
"Sees Twilight calm down you don't want to wake her up do you, I know you two were only talking but you deserved it after
how you behaved."
Twilight walked close to the Princess and closed the door behind her.
"ahm, Luna are you and Celestia hate me?"
"Twilight don't be silly my sister loves you and she would forgive you anything, maybe not everything, if i don't arrive in time and you kill Shadow she wouldn't forgive you that and i know better than anypony else what it's like when anger takes over mind."
"Luna why do you trust her?"
"Well, Twilight why shouldn't i? She gave up her whole life for something that might not even exist and she won't be able
to go back to the swarm ever again."
"Luna i'd like to help her, but what would the others think about it, everypony in Ponyville knows she is here and what if my friends will hate me that i help her."
"Oh Twilight you should really have more faith in your friends, but we can't tell the others that she is a changeling you know what would happen to her if the other changelings would find out somehow that she is here and alive."
"But what should i tell the other ponies?"
"That Shadow Hunter is one of my guard who is here to protect me while i'm staying here and the changeling left."
"Before I leave, can i ask something personal?"
"Yes."
"Whose body did she take and who was she to you?"
"No one Twilight, Shadow created that body all by herself that's why she was up all night reading those books and that's why she doesn't have cutiemark."
"Can i get you anything from the kitchen?"
"No thanks Twilight I already ate dinner."
"Dinner? Is it really that late?"
"Yes and i need to go."
"Go Where and Why?"
"Back to Canterlot I need to take care of my duties as Princess of the Night, I'll come back in the morning. Take care of her while i'm gone, Good night Twilight."
"Goodbye Luna."
Few seconds later the Princess teleported away leaving Twilight behind. A shiver ran through her body warning her that she is still wet and she is getting colder so she decided to use her magic to collect the remaining water on her body, after she was done the water of orb which she was collected with her magic then threw it out on the window.
She went inside the bathroom and levitated the sleeping pegasus out the water and performed the same spell on her just like she did it on herself but this time she placed the water back to the tub and teleported the dry pegasus in her bed. Twilight walked back to the guest room and moved the blanket on Shadow's body.
"Goodnight Shadow. whispered Twilight from the door then she turned the candels fire off and closed the door."
She went down to search something good to read before she goes to sleep, as she looked outside the window the storm raged outside and saw a few lightning strikes across the night sky. She brought up a few book with herself into the bed and begin to read.
She was about to about to start the second book when Shadow knocked on her door.
"Come in."
"Sorry if i disturbing you but do you know where Luna is?"
"ah no problem Shadow, She had to return to Canterlot to take care of her duties, she will be back in the morning."
"Oh, Ok Thank you Twilight"
Twilight saw on Shadow's face that something else is bothering her.
"Is there anything i can help you with?"
"Actually yes, can i sleep here?"
"Is there something wrong with your bed?"
"No It's not ah, nevermind. She lowered her head and turned around ready to leave the room."
"Take care of her" remembered Twilight what Luna said to her.
"Is this what she meant?" --------
"Shadow would you like to sleep here?"
"Can i?"
"Yes if you want, i was about to sleep anyway and my bed is big enough."
"Thank you so much."
Twilight moved to the right side of the bed, while Shadow moved to the bed, Twilight was watching her. She lay down to the bed and faced with Twilight, she was holding the eye contact for a while then Twilight turned away.
"Good night Shadow."
"You too Twilight."
------------------------------
Twilight woke up but when she tried to get out from the bed she was held back by four black hoof around body and she could feel another pony's breath on her neck.
"Well this is ridiculous."
"Ahm, Shadow?"
"Yes Twilight?"
"What are you doing?"
"Hugging your body and taking in your amazing scent."
"Yes i can feel that, but exactly why are you doing it or at least can you let me go i need to get up."
She turned her head to the pegasus whos eyes were still closed.
"Shadow!"
"Oke Oke, Sees Twilight why can't you loosen up a bit and let yourself enjoy the moment."
"Because you don't have time for this, remember?"
She removed her hooves and got out from the bed just like Twilight.
"Wow was this your only problem with this?"
"Well yes What else should be?"
Twilight started her daily routine brushed her hair and tail then went down to the kitchen where she made some food for both of them.
"We have to go. said Twilight after they both finihed eating"
"Where?"
"To one of my friend who lives in the Everfree forest."
"What about Luna?"
"I'll write her a letter of course."
The letter was ready in ten seconds they were both ready to leave the house but Twilight stopped before opening the door.
"If anyone ask you are Princess Luna's guard while she is staying in Ponyville and if they ask about the changeling she
left."
Shadow noded with her head that she understand it
She opened the door then closed it again.
"One more thing you should probably change your name, i don't know how many changeling can be around, now that they spread all over Equestria so it would be safer."
"I understand, How about Night Claw?"
"Fine"
As they left the library Twilight didn't see too much ponies on the streets after all it was a bit early which was for the best. They were at the side of the town when someone called out for Twilight.
"Twilight, Twilight Wait!" "Great" thought Twilight when she stopped just like Night behind her.
Night turned back faster than Twilight to the voice's source and saw a mint coloured unicorn with a few white strips in her mane and tail who running towards them.
"Who is she?" whispered Shadow.
Twilight knew this voice so she didn't have to turn around to identify the pony.
"Her name is Lyra Heartstrings, don't worry, she is harmless."
When Lyra got to them she took a few deep breath before she could say anything.
"Hi Lyra Good morning."
"Hi Twilight morning you too, how come you closed the library i wanted to rent a book and no one would steal in Ponyville you know it."
"Sorry Lyra it's only for a few hours, I Need to go to the Everfree Forest and do something."
"Alright, what happend with the changeling? or is she the changelings i've never seen her before."
Twilight and Night looked at eachother then Twilight made a nervous laugh.
"Hehe, really funny Lyra, Night Claw is not a changeling, She is one of Princess Luna's guard, she brought with herself when coming to Ponyville."
"Nice to meet you Miss Heartstrings."
"Same here."
"And the changeling who you talking about is left after Princess Luna healed her injuries so don't worry about it anymore."
"Ok then i go help Bon-Bon see you later, Bye Night Claw."
"Bye Lyra."
Twilight turned around to continue their way to Zecora but something was wrong Night Claw was still standing the same position looking after Lyra.
"Ahm, Night Claw are you coming?"
She was still staring at the receding Lyra when she disappeared from her sight Shadow's whole body started shaking and she fell on the ground.
Twilight quickly went back to her and kneeled next to the shaking pegasus.
"Night What's wrong?"
Night turned her head to Twilight, Twilight got horrified by the look what Night had on her face, she saw this look before in the treehouse when Shadow heard Twilight can kill her, Shadow was scared to death and tears started to swell in her eyes and dropping on the ground.
Twilight placed her hooves around the trembling pegasus trying to comfort her.
"Shadow What happend?"
"Twilight she,she was a changeling"
"Don't be ridiculous, that's impossible."
"TWILIGHT! She said her name a bit higher voice than she wanted to but she couldn't control it now."
"You have to trust me, They sent her to find and kill me, I don't know if she realized that i'm one of them but i know it that she is a FREAKING. She couldn't finish her sentence because Twilight couldn't let her, as she was raising her voice by every word she had to shut her up somehow."
After they departed from the short kiss Twilight looked around and saw a few ponies watching them on the ground.
"Shut up this is not the right time and the place for this, so get up and pull yourself together for the love of Celestia."
"Is She alright?" The voice from the back.
Twilight turned around to answer
"Yes she is, thank you for the question Golden Harvest, Only her past haunting her."
Shadow stood up so as Twilight who began to move away, but turned back when she didn't hear the other ponies steps behind her.
"Guard close your mouth and start moving we don't have time for this."
She did as she was told and moved after Twilight with a short dash. About a ten minutes later walking in silence Shadow was still think about the fake pony "Did she notice it?","Did i blow my whole cover", "What should i do now"?. These questions ran through her mind by everystep over and over. She didn't notice Twilight stopped and she bumped into Twilight's tail which was filled with the levander scent.
"We are here, the edge of the Everfree Forest, it's going to be another fifteen minutes walk from here, please don't make any noise, i don't want to get in any more trouble."
"As you wish Twilight."
On the way Twilight heared a few animal roars and screams but they didn't meat any dangerous creature on their way.
Twilight knocked on the door in front of her.
-------------------------------------------------------
"I'm coming give me a minute."
Zecora opened the door.
"Hey Twilight what can i do you for?"
"Can we go inside?"
Zecora looked on the pegasus.
"Yes Of course Come in."
They walked in the tree house and Zecora closed the door behind her.
"Zecora this is Shadow Hunter and she is a."
When Twilight mentioned the zebra's name something broke inside Shadow, She heard this name before, one night when her father
came back from a Changeling raid and told his wife what they did. They thought Shadow is asleep but she heard every last word
from his father what horrible things they did with that village, then she heard his father spared a zebra baby whose mother
called her Zecora.
"Changeling."
Zecora finished the sentence instead Twilight which made her a bit surprised.
"Yes, but how do you know that and why aren't you talk in rhymes like you always do?"
"Oh, I had a little trouble with the poison joke's earlier today since then i can't make any rhymes or if i do my mane or tail grow longer"
Zecora walked to a closed door and opened it, at least a three meters long zebra striped hairs feel out of it. Twilight let out a small laugh then Zecora continued.
"I've seen a few of them in the last couple of days and I had trouble with them in the past so i can recognise one, even if they create themselves bodies, the only thing they can't change is their eye colour.
"I see."
Shadow stepped forward and bowed infront the suprised Zebra.
"I'm so sorry what happend to your home. Was all what she could say, she knew these words can't ease the pain what they
caused but she felt like she have to say something."
"I Don't need your sorry, it wasn't your fault what happend that day."
"But my father was there, he killed your mother, he had to follow the swarm's orders, but he couldn't kill a baby so he hid you even if he pays with his life for disobeying the orders what was given to him."
Twilight didn't know what to say she never heard about changelings killing ponies before.
Zecora turned away from the two of them so they couldn't see how she is fighting with her tears to hold them back.
"Why are you two here?"
Twilight stepped a few hooves closer to Zecora.
"I'm so sorry Zecora i didn't know, I wouldn't bring her here if i know what happend."
"It's alright Twilight we can't change the past, and what should i do kill her? torture her? what good that would do.
So tell me how can i help?"
"Do you know any way how a changeling can give up feeding of love forever?"
Zecora turned back with her swollen eyes looking at the still bowing changeling when the question was asked.
"Is this true? Do you really want to give up a part of you what makes you what you are?"
The changeling stood up and looked into the zebra's eyes.
"Yes, my father told me there is a way before he died so i disconnected my mind from the swarm and asked Twilight to help me."
"I'm sorry, but i can't help, Twilight what did the Princesses said about it?"
"I-I don't know, I didn't ask her."
She Looked at Shadow.
"Did Princess Luna say anything to you or Did she ask her sister in her letter?"
"I don't know we didn't talk about it."
"You should ask them, I'll look after a few things maybe i find something which can help, but Princess Celestia should be able to help you."
"Thanks a lot Zecora, sorry for troubling you."
Twilight went close to Zecora and hugged her while whispering in her ears.
"I'm so sorry what you had to live through if you ever want to talk about it, I'll be there to listen. bye Zecora"
"Thank you Twilight and be careful on the way back."
Twilight left the house but Shadow stayed behind.
"Zecora do you think if i can change my life." She stopped for a second hesitating what reaction this would cause in the zebra in front of her. "Can we ever be friends?"
Zecora looked away thinking for a few seconds then turned back to the changeling.
"Maybe, in time, Good luck I hope you will find what you are seeking for."
"Thank you, Good bye Zecora."
"Bye Shadow."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Twilight was waiting outside while Shadow came out, She didn't want to go home without her.
"How come you didn't ask Luna?"
"I-I'm sorry i thought you asked her already besides we were talking about something else."
"Oh and what else was do damn important?"
Twilight raised her voice enough that the sleeping animals woke up around them.
"Ahm, Twilight we should run."
A manticore jumped out from the bushes behind Twilight, her head was almost hit by the manticore's paw when Shadow jumped on
her. Twilight activated her magic and teleported themselves at the edge of the forest, they arrived with the same position
as they were before the teleportation. They were holding eye contact as they lay on the green grass Shadow on her for a
while but Twilight broke the silence.
"Thank You, but can you get off me now?"
Shadow lowered her head to Twilight's ear and whispered into it.
"No. "
"Seriously? What's the matter with you?"
"I Don't know."
Twilight levitated the changeling off her and put down a few hooves away which saddened her.
"Twilight yesterday night, we were talking about you with Luna."
She jumped up from the grass.
"What? Why?"
"Well, I asked her to do it and she told me as much as she could about you, and she was a bit worried too. I only wanted to get to know you better"
"We should get back before Luna starts to worry about the both of us."
"Twilight wait, I"
She turned back to look on the pegasus.
"Nothing, forget it."
"Already done, now can we get moving?"
"Yes."
It was only a twenty minutes walk back to the library without any interraction. When they stepped inside the library Luna was waiting for them.
"Welcome back, Did you two find out something?"
"No, Actually Princess it looks like we forgot to ask the two most experienced ponies before going to find the answers elsewhere."
"I see, I knew it, Celestia won again"
Luna let out a little laugh and sigh.
"She said it will take less then 3 days for you, i bet against it, sorry Twilight."
"Luna are you or Celestia knows a way to help Shadow?"
"Yes and No."
Shadow looked on Luna suprised but a bit angry as well. "How could she not tell me"
"What does this mean Princess?"
"Celestia will explain everything the both of you tonight when we change the court. I have to go prepare things for the upcoming longest night of the year."
"Luna what are you not telling us?"
Luna sighed and took a huge breath.
"I'm sorry Twilight, but i can't say anything, as i said Celestia will come to talk the both of you, don't worry everything will be fine, have a good day,"
She smiled at the two ponies in front of her but there was sadness behind that smile.
"GoodBye."
With this she teleported away leaving two confused pony behind.
"Twilight I'm scared. She is lying."
"What are you talking about? Celestia nor Luna would never do anything to hurt you."
"Twilight would you stay with me while she comes?"
Twilight was looking at Shadow
"Shadow it's only 10am, are you sure you don't want anything else to do?"
"Yes, Please Twilight can we go up to your room? "
Shadow's body was shaking and she was about to start cry any minute.
"Of Course.
They walked up to Twilight's room side by side when they got to the door Twilight let Shadow to go forward. They lay down to the bed and Shadow wrapped her wing around the unicorn next to her. They were face to face eachother in the bed holding eye contact.
"Twilight why did you kiss me out there?"
Twilight's face turned to red from the question and she wanted to run or turn away from the answer but she couldn't.
"Because i had to shut you up somehow. Was the perfect lie for it but Twilight couldn't lie and Shadow noticed it as well."
"You could use your hoof as well you know, but i think you did it becouse you wanted to do it and actually enjoyed it. "
"But you are a changeling and I."
"Oh come on Twilight just cut the crap and let yourself enjoy things while you can."
Shadow pulled Twilight closer with her wing and kissed her it was a long and passionate kiss they held eachother in their hooves and continued the kiss. Shadow ended the kiss and looked deep into Twilight's eyes.
"I think i love you Twilight."
"I love you too Shadow."
They were in bed for hours embracing their love to eachother. They woke up only a ten minutes before the sun was fully down and Celestia would arrive.
"We should better get a shower before she arrives don't you think? Said Twilight looking Shadow whose eyes were closed but she was awake.
The air around their bodies were hot and they were still sweating but on the bed the sweat was already dried but the smell
of it was in the air.
Shadow sniffed into the air and her own body as well.
"I suppose you are right."
Twilight opened the hot water from her own room in the bathroom with her magic so when they get there the tub would be full
of water.
They both sit in the hot water just like last time but now Twilight went closer placing her hooves around Shadow's front ones and pushed her to the side of the tub and kissed her softly. Twilight was holding the kiss for a few seconds then she broke it.
She looked outside the window and saw only a few rays left from the sun on the horizon. They had only a few minutes in the bath to clean themself but it did what had to do, the dried sweat's stink have been washed out from their furs replaced by sweet scent of levander.
Just as Luna promised Celestia appeared when the sun went down and the moon began to rise.
"Hello Twilight, Shadow, It's nice to meet you."
"Princes Celestia i'm so happy to see you." Said Twilight with enthusiasm then she hold it back and stayed next to Shadow.
"It's my pleasure Princess." Shadow bowed in front of Celestia.
"Princess What's going to happen now?"
"I'll preform a spell which only alicorns can preform due the required energy, Shadow's request is rare so the last few
days were enough for me to prepare for it since i didn't need to do this for a while."
"How many times did you use this spell Princess?"
"Only a few times in my life."
"Is it safe?"
Twilight and Celestia was looking at eachother then the Princess turned away.
"No! I won't let you do it."
"Twilight it's going to be fine." Shadow tried to calm her and placed a hoof on Twilight's face. "Don't worry."
"No I'll love you forever, you don't need to do this, you can't, i won't le. A pair of lips meet with her own."
Celestia was suprised how they melted into that kiss.
"It is my decision Twilight and i want to change, but I'll love you forever whatever will happen."
"But What should i do if something happens to you, I'll be lost forever without you."
celestia stepped forward placing her wing on Twilight.
"Twilight I'll do everything in my power what i can, I promise."
"See? You Don't need to worry."
"Shall we start Shadow?"
"Whenever you are ready Princess."
Twilight stepped a back from Shadow who was ready.
"I love you"
Shadow shot a small smile at the worried Twilight.
"Goodbye Twilight."
Celestia levitated Shadow in the air then formed a firing shield around her like the sun itself, she concentrted all her
power into the spell. "I have to make this, I have to succeed for Twilight". She draw more and more energy into her horn
from all over her body then she let go of the spell.
The orb which surrended Shadow emerged on the ground then it dissapeared around her. She turned around and smiled at
Twilight then she fell on her knees and hit the ground with her side, blood was dripping out from her nose and her mouth.
Twilight rushed next to her and fell next to her holding Shadow's head in her hoof and looking at Celestia. Who turned around
not wanting to face with Twilight, she knew what's going to happen with Shadow and she couldn't do anything to save her.
"I'm so sorry Twilight."
"What? No, You Promised!, Do Something!"
Then she turned to Shadow
"I'm sorry T, Twilight please never for, give me."
Twilight's eyes are started to swell as the tears begin to ran down on her checks on Shadow's face.
"I Love you, I'll always love you."
She bent down with her head and kissed the dying changeling on her lips, for the last time, the last kiss which was full
of her blood.
She held the dead Pegasus body which turned back into a changeling as she died and her power failed. Twilight's tears were
running all around her own and the dead changeling's body.
"Get out!"
"I'm so sorry Twilight."
"GET OUT!" Twilight shot a beam to Celestia.
Her magic got dispelled by Celestia.
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!"
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Proof reading is desperately needed, as well as editing to make the whole thing easier to follow. I do like this concept and shall see where it goes.
This is not a well-written story at all. You don't know how to format. In addition, the dialogue is cheesy and the emotions are not expressed well. Your descriptions of the events are, at best, vague and incomplete. Everyone, especially Zecora, is significantly out of character. The zebra isn't even rhyming! That's her most obvious character trait and the one everyone always gets right, even trollfic writers!
This is going to sound mean-spirited, but the only thing I can suggest is to go to school and take pay close attention in English class. Read ahead in the textbook if you have to. When you're done with that, watch the show and get acquainted with the characters' personalities.
Ok, I have some knit pick stuff.
1. Did you proof read this,there were quite a few mistakes that fixed themselves later.
2. None of the characters in this story acted like they would, Lyra being calm, Twilight being aggresive.
3. The way you set up the thought and sentances were backward. Useually the thoughts are in italics and dialog in quotation marks.
4. I would have extended this. The whole thing seemed to go by too fast. Going from start to finish to fast.
5. Like the story concept though.
P.S. Sentance wording needs some work. Starts good but by the end of a sentance it all just falls apart.
1292942
It's ok i don't mind i know it's not so good since this is my 2nd thing i ever wrote, so i don't mind if i get mean comments i was counting on them and i learned english, but never really use it(especially) for writing, so i forget a lot and yes i know Zecora should talk in rhymes but i couldn't come up with anything, but i had to use someone.
1292982
No, i wanted to ask one of my friend and he said kinda the same things as you do, but he didn't have time, so i did the best what i could with it and uploaded it. sorry if you think it was a waste of time to read it it's for anyone who didn't like it not for you.
1293069 Trust me, I didnt mean it in a mean way. From what I can tell it seems that english is a second language for you and the fact that you tried was good. I only said those things to make sure you were aware and that you could rewrite it when you have more time on your hands. I love the story and hope that you can rewrite it in a more legible way. Maybe even putting in some filler text so that it lasts for more then one chapter. Maybe Twilight tells her friends and they go do something to help Night get used to life there and then you could kill her.
Once again I love the story!
1293101
I didn't mean it neither in a mean way, so i'm sorry if you felt it that way.. when i finished the story i was like ok she died and i don't want to do anything with this, but i didn't want to kill her in the end but it felt like the right thing to do to finish it so i wrote a "sequel" or "second chepter" call it however you want, if some one want to edit it and proof read it i'd be glad to send it to him/her because i probably made the same mistakes there like in this
1293141 I didnt take offence to your reply if that is what you were saying. Maybe there is a group on this site about proof reading.
I would check there and then online.
1293141 Here's what I recommend:
Go through the story as carefully and nit-picky as possible, like going through your hair with a fine-tooth comb.
Then go here to get some help.
1293584
Ok, Thanks
Be glad for not hearing the sound of a train...
Those guys are mercilesss.
Nice concept, and I understand the problems that people like us, with english as second language have writing. But what can we do? I dunno if other countries besides U.S. have a strong MlP:FiM community, so we have to spend our creative juices trying our luck here.
The comments already said almost everything, take the advice and try to improve around them!
1294513
Don't speak too soon, my dear friend! The CHOO CHOO has arrived! (Oh boy, I'm getting the ball rolling! How exciting!)
First of all, your dialogue is difficult to read. There's this thing called quotation marks...you use them around speaking parts, not dashes. Also, you should always specify who is speaking, like this:
(And that's including grammar corrections. You can thank me later.) But since we're on the topic of dialogue, yours was very robotic and uninteresting. Like one person said before me, it didn't really have much emotion behind it. And here's a hint; people don't enjoy bland conversations in real life. So don't do it in writing either!
And lastly, your characters are terribly OOC (out of character). I highly doubt Twilight would try to murder someone, even if it's a Changling. And I also doubt that Luna would want to kill Twilight for wanting to kill the Changeling. See where I'm going with this? Murder in MLP...nope. And that's only the half of it. One word: Zecora.
There's some extreme grammar issues going on here, way too many for me to point out. So my last piece of advice: find someone who is fluent in English to help proofread your story. Otherwise, be prepared for people like me to come and harshly nit-pick your fanfic
As always, CHOO CHOO! ~Schlippy
1294513 Is that the sound of Tomas the train engine theme song playing?
So if your on that group, do you get notified that it happened? I cant see my fic not being on that group.
EDIT: Hell, I might have to go add my fic for them
1294635 Yeah... Maybe I was too hasty....
Review train here. Let's get started!
1) It took me forever to figure out what the "-" before certain lines meant. Actually, I'm still not a hundred percent sure. If they're dialogue, put them in "quotes." If they're thoughts, put them in italics. These are standard formatting in English fiction, so anything else needs a really good explanation. (You can get italics by highlighting the text to want to be italicized and clicking button with a slanty I on it at the top of the screen.)
2) I only read as far as the changeling's awakening (I think), and everyone's so out of character, it's ridiculous. Twilight would have reported to Celestia immediately, not after teleporting the changeling to her house and trying to talk to it. I can maybe see her trying to finish the changeling off, but you'd need to give her a proper motivation. And is this all an elaborate sting operation so Luna and Celestia can catch Twilight doing something 'bad'? What's the point? What are they trying to prove? I won't tell you Lyra is out of character because as far as I can tell, she doesn't have one in the show, but the others' actions don't make sense.
3) I think most everything in number 2 could be fixed by just slowing down and explaining things. Build their characters and give them motivations. Is Twilight worried the town will freak out if she leaves the changeling there? Does she think the changeling poses a legitimate threat? Do the princesses think Twilight is dangerously disrespectful of life? Taking the time to build and explain character motivations will give you much more flexibility and freedom with the characters.
4) A proofreader would help. Definitely not the worst grammar I've seen on this site, but it could use some work.
Well, I hope that helps. Good luck!
1294668
Wait...you want your fic to be in our group? The group where only terrible, horrible, agonizing stories are posted?
1294700 No I'm disapointed in this website for NOT putting my fic in it. It cannot be considered decent, it just cant.
1293017 Yeah, her rhyming can make it tricky for even people who do use English to use. Not knowing English doesn't give much of a excuse to be out of character. Still, jusdging by your difficulty, I don't think I can help someone at your level of knowledge.
This may seem like a strange thing for me to say due to my previous comment, but the English in your story is actually much better than the English in your comments. That's interesting, at least to me.
1294513
Here you go!
Didn't read, LOL
All I needed was the description and the tags. NO. Just NO.
static.tumblr.com/mfxyxgh/wZ5m5ze9a/tldr.jpg
1295263 Official theme sound for when you post a new history... He can be right beyond the corner...
Be afraid...
I would try but I don't want to hurt myself.
...
not too. bad but the format .. sucks. it more like a typescipt then a fanfic.