• Member Since 9th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 19th

Somber Star

I'm tired beyond recovery by sleep. It's like my soul is tired. That's the only way I can describe this all-pervading feeling. Like I can't make a smile that isn't somehow insincere.

Comments ( 8 )

No, it's a one-shot.

"Oh please, she's clearly far too young to be paying a man for that ." the blonde cop sniped, clearly (and mercifully) unaware of Aria's actual age. "Hey, did he knock you up? You know you can't use that to rope someone in his line of work into a marriage, right? Those boys have some powerful customers, and I'd hate to think what might happen to you if you inconvenienced them."

She is a magical siren from another dimension. I highly doubt they will "intimidate" her, or her sisters. :ajbemused:

Edit: Why do I have negatives too?

You mean intimidate? Maybe, maybe not. Aria is a lot weaker now that she lost most of her Siren powers. And judging by the trailer they were living in during the time loop movie, the Dazzlings hadn't exactly made something of themselves when they had them.

Love how you word this whole thing good work!:duck:

Sadly, the most interesting parts of this story happen before the story starts. I'd much rather see Aria and her escort, how that dynamic worked, how resistant she was and how easily she submitted. Instead, all that's here is a rushed little aftermath. There's not a whole lot wrong with the writing itself, but I think you made some fatal errors on a conceptual level.

Thanks for your submission!

Login or register to comment