"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
Twilight leaped out of her chair with a panicked shriek as her horn sparked and fired off a few bolts of loose magic. The scroll she'd been writing on launched into the air, along with her quill, her ink pot, and Spike, who was unfortunate enough to be standing nearby. Twilight herself landed on her back with a thump and coughed as the air fled from her lungs. Beside her, Spike fell into a similar state of affairs.
Dazed and painful, the unicorn got back onto her hooves, reaching up to rub her head. She turned around to find the source of her freak-out. Namely, one sky-blue pegasus who'd entered the library from one of the open windows and was currently hovering above her.
"Rainbow," she started, gritting her teeth, "is it really too much trouble for you to knock on the door like any other pony?!"
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, possibly to say some sort of snarky retort. However, as she looked around at the mess she was responsible for, remorse slowly dawned on her face.
"Uh...sorry, Twilight," she finally settled on. "I guess I shouldn't have done that."
"No, you shouldn't have," responded the unicorn, still annoyed but cooling down. "Now can you help us clean this up?" She gestured to the various writing supplies strewn about the room.
"Yeah!" chimed in Spike. "Don't make us fix all this by ourselves!"
"Sure, don't worry."
After the three of them had picked up the mess, Rainbow settled back onto the floor. She turned around to face Twilight.
"Okay," she began, "now that we've gotten that out of the way, I have to ask: WHAT THE HAY?!"
Twilight covered her ears. "Rainbow! Have you learned nothing?!"
"Sorry, sorry. It's just...how could you do this to me, Twilight?!"
"Do what?" Twilight demanded. "I have no idea what you're talking about! I Pinkie Promise!"
"Oh really?!" Rainbow snapped back. "You don't remember this?!"
She reached into her saddlebags, pulling out a copy of Ponyville's local newspaper. On the front page was an article, written about Twilight Sparkle, titled, "Princess Celestia's Student Discovers Fastest Creature in All of Equestria."
"Seriously, Rainbow?" Twilight responded, dryly. "You take issue with my research project?"
"Come on, Twilight. We both know I'm the fastest living thing in Equestria. I admit, there are non-living things faster than me, but that's it!"
"Actually, Rainbow, if you'd bothered to read the actual article, you'd have discovered that I measured that creature's speed and compared it to your fastest feats, including the Sonic Rainboom, and I found that it exceeds your own." She put a hoof to her chin, thinking. "Now that I come back to it, perhaps I should've asked you to come along so I could more clearly compare you two."
"So you could—you're missing the point!" Rainbow snapped. "There is no way that this...thing...is faster than me! I'm the fastest in all of Equestria!"
"Rainbow, I know it's a big blow to your ego, but according to my calculations, the creature is, in fact, faster than you." Twilight's horn lit up, levitating up a piece of parchment covered with equations. "You can read these, if you don't believe me."
"You know I don't understand this egghead stuff," Rainbow protested, pushing the paper aside. "Come on, this isn't gonna prove some random creature is faster than Rainbow Dash!"
"Okay, if that's the way you want it," said Twilight. She levitated over a set of saddlebags. "If you want to prove you're faster, we can go to that creature's habitat right now. In fact, let's bring Fluttershy with us, too. If she's available."
Rainbow blinked. "Really? Just like that?"
"Hey, that research project isn't fully completed. With you around to help me get data, and Fluttershy to help me classify it, we could forward the cause of Equestrian science!"
Rainbow groaned. "Of course you would turn this into an egghead project."
"Do you want to prove you're faster than this creature, or not?"
"Alright, I'm coming."
"Great! Spike, grab my research notes!"
"Already on it, Twilight!" replied Spike.
The two ponies and one dragon made a quick stop by Fluttershy's cottage. However, the timid pegasus was busy taking care of a sick badger and thus couldn't join them. She did promise to look over Twilight's notes on this strange creature when she was no longer busy and help to identify (or possibly classify) it. Twilight, Rainbow, and Spike then headed out, borrowing Pinkie's hot air balloon and heading southwest, towards the San Palomino Desert.
On the way, Twilight told Rainbow more about the research project, while stressing that all this information was contained in the article she hadn't read. Twilight had been tasked by Princess Celestia with speaking to some diplomats in Saddle Arabia, which required her to travel through the desert. During her time there, she'd been passed by a strange animal moving at incredible speeds. A quick spell had given her a rough estimate of how fast it was going, and she'd asked Princess Celestia for (and been granted) the chance to study this new species nopony had ever seen before. Unfortunately, during an interview with a Ponyville reporter, she'd accidentally let that information slip, resulting in the article.
"HA! You admit it! You don't know if it's faster than me!" Rainbow gloated.
"Well, more like I don't know how much speed it has over you, but whatever makes you happy, Rainbow," Twilight replied. "I suppose I should thank you for coming over, since it'll give me more data for the research project."
"More like it'll give me a chance to put my name in the record books again!" said Rainbow. "'Rainbow Dash, fastest thing in all Equestria! Even faster than the...the, uh...'"
"We don't have a name for it yet, remember?" said Spike.
"Yeah, whatever. Maybe you could call it the 'Slowerthanrainbowdashimus.'"
"I don't think that would go over very well with Equestria's biologists," said Twilight. "Oh, look! We're here!"
She carefully manipulated the balloon so that they descended into the middle of the desert itself. The basket landed without incident and Twilight used her magic to weigh it down.
"So now what?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Do we have any way of finding this thing?"
"Well, when I originally saw it, it just sort of zoomed past me," answered Twilight. "I suppose the best thing we can do is search for tracks, see if we can figure out which routes this thing takes."
Spike groaned. "Great. More walking around in the hot, dry desert."
"Calm down, Spike. We brought enough water to last us a couple of days."
It only took a few minutes of searching for Twilight to find the footprints she was looking for. The prints were long and thin, in the shape of a letter Y, with two toes pointing forward.
"Looks kind of like a bird foot," said Rainbow.
"I agree," said Twilight, making a quick sketch of the footprint. "Perhaps this is some kind of flightless desert bird."
"HA! You admit it's gotta be slower than me if it can't fly!"
Twilight gave her a look. "Come on, Rainbow, we've got to start following these tracks."
"Uh, girls?" said Spike. "I don't think that'll be necessary."
He pointed behind them. Twilight and Rainbow turned to discover that, in the distance, something was rushing across the sand, kicking up a massive dust cloud behind it as it went. It was too far away for them to discern any features, but they could tell it definitely wasn't a pony. Upon closer observation, they realized it was turning in their direction.
"Twilight..." Spike began, "do you have any idea if this thing is dangerous or not?"
Twilight opened her mouth to respond, only for a glob of sand to be tossed inside it from the creature's approach. As the unicorn sputtered and tried to spit the sand out, Spike hid behind Rainbow Dash, who took up a defensive position. She crouched low, and flared her wings outwards to look bigger. The animal got closer and closer to them, until it finally stopped a short distance away.
Now that it wasn't just a speeding blur, the ponies could get a good look at the creature. It appeared Twilight's initial assessment had been correct, as the thing certainly looked like a bird. Its feathers were a light shade of blue, except for the wings and on its head, which were darker in color. It had a large, plumed tail and another plume on its head. The beak was yellow and the top curved upwards. The way the beak was structured, it almost looked like it was smiling. The eyes were white, with simple black pupils. The legs were orange and ended in y-shaped talons.
For the next few seconds, no one moved. The bird merely stared at the three creatures before it and they stared back, unsure of how to react. Spike poked his head out from behind Rainbow, still nervous, but the bird made no move to attack.
"Um, hello?" Twilight ventured. "Can you speak?"
The bird blinked a couple of times, then its tongue poked out from its beak. Then the beak opened and it made a vocalization unlike any other bird.
"Meep meep!"
With that, the bird jumped into the air, turned around, and rushed away, spraying Twilight, Rainbow, and Spike with sand.
"Well," said Twilight, "that was...something."
"Something?!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Did you see that?! It's taunting me! It stuck its tongue out at me!"
"Rainbow, I'm pretty sure it's just a wild animal. It's not sapient enough to be taunting—"
But Rainbow wasn't listening. With a single flap of her wings, she shook off her coating of sand and flew into the air, then took off after the bird.
Twilight groaned again. "Maybe letting her come on this expedition was a bad idea."
"Too late for that," added Spike. "Should we follow her?"
"Probably. She'll definitely get into trouble if we don't."
Rainbow beat her wings furiously as she chased after the bird. It certainly was faster than she'd expected, but she was gaining on it nonetheless. She kept herself a good distance above it so the sand it was kicking up didn't get into her eyes. In another few seconds, she was flying neck and neck with the bird.
"Hey you!" she called out, causing the bird to turn its head towards her. "How does it feel to be the second fastest thing in Equestria?! Because you ain't faster than me!"
The bird merely blinked at her a couple of times, then said, "Meep meep!" again, before abruptly making a sharp turn to the right and charging off into the distance.
"What the heck?! What are you doing?!" demanded Rainbow. "You're not supposed to—!"
The rest of her complaint would go unheard, as she slammed head-first into a spire of rock jutting up towards the sky. Rainbow's entire body flattened against the rock surface, before peeling off like a sticker and falling to the sand. She landed on her back, as her eyes rolled around in their sockets. Rainbow swore she could see tiny versions of Derpy Hooves flying in circles around her head.
She wasn't sure how long she was dazed for, but her head eventually stopped rattling and she pushed herself back up. She started looking around, even as her skull continued to throb in pain.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" called out Twilight. Rainbow turned to discover the purple unicorn trotting up to her, carrying Spike on her back. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," the pegasus snorted back. Twilight had the biggest grin on her face and it was driving Rainbow crazy.
"How'd the race go?" asked Twilight, her smirk somehow growing wider.
"That was just a warm-up!" snapped Rainbow. "I'm going to train harder than I've ever trained before! And I'll show that stupid bird who's the fastest thing in Equestria!"
While Twilight rolled her eyes, Spike looked a little concerned. "Uh, Rainbow? You know it's not intelligent, right?" he said. "It doesn't understand—"
But Rainbow wasn't listening. She jumped into the air and flew away once more, leaving a multicolored trail that slowly faded away.
"Is she gonna be alright?" asked Spike.
"I hope so," answered Twilight. "Though this may be a hard lesson to learn."
Contest is actually Estee's.
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Oh, whoops. Thanks for the correction.
We got ourselves a new Coyote, Dash is probably gonna get herself smacked a few times and drive herself crazy.
Rainbow's a cartoon herself, I'm sure she'll be fine.
And it seems the coyote's getting some time off as his feathered rival has found somepony to painfully annoy........(pulls out a bag of popcorn)😉
Let the games begin!!!😂
... says the dragon whose natural habitat is active volcanoes.
Aside from that, I'm withholding judgement until the story's complete. For now, let's see where you go with this.
This will get funny real quick!
The battle between Rainbow Dash and the elusive Acceleratti Incredibilus will be legendary.
How can we stop Rainbow?
ACME Anvil ?
Rope?
TNT ?
bird seed?
Elmer Fudd?
W.E, Coyote?
I gave the bird the bird!
Meep Meep
Here hoping for random pianos falling from the sky
ROAD RUNNER
Outpacius Most-Anythingus
RAINBOW DASH
Salaco Spectrum
This crossover definitely has me hooked!
As a fan of Looney Tunes, I'm looking forward to more of this and seeing Rainbow making a fool out of herself trying to outrun the Roadrunner.
Rainbow Dash vs. Road Runner, eh?
Oh, this is going to be a fun!
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/097/722/b8c.gif
Ya know, this contest isn't about the fastest straight-line speed but on maneuvering at that speed, Dash is behind on that eight-ball (being a flyer) ...
so, would Wily be involved? And Dash actually helps Road Runner ?
Woah! You've captured the spirit of Looney Tunes really well, physics and logic included. Definitely tracking this one.
I have a feeling speed-wise they'll be pretty neck-and-neck, but I don't recall if it's been confirmed that Rainbow can do straight 90-degree turns…
I thought pegasus has natural surrounding awareness. If other pegasus found out, she won't hear the end of it.
But as they say, even monkey do fall from time to time.
Dash doesn't know what she's got herself into...
Oh, Twilight. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing.
Hahaha, I assure you, that that bird understands a LOT more then he lets on!
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The show established that Rainbow can easily do 90° turns at high speed (see her exit scene from "Three's a Crowd"), but reaction times would still account to give the Road Runner many advantages--much like how Barry Allen could often be outmaneuvered by Eobard Thawne.
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Aha, you do appear to be right about those turns. Nice catch.
But yes, the reaction time was exactly the other factor I was thinking about. It just wouldn't have even applied if she couldn't make those turns in the first place.
Ok, one chapter in and I'm already hooked. A nice handful of throwbacks to the classic cartoon, and seeing (technically reading) a race between Rainbow and the Roadrunner is definitely gonna be entertaining.
Also, regardless of what Twilight thinks. That Roadrunner 100% knows what he's doing, for messing with creatures is his second specialty. Kinda reminds me of a certain blue hedgehog...
noone is gonna be able to beat Road-Runner, Not even RD.
MLP has already shown that Rainbow Dash is acutely aware of her surroundings while in flight, even when distracted.
Unfortunately, MLP has not accounted for a critical feature of cartoon desert environments...
Obstacles do not exist until the moment they show up on camera.
Rainbow would have known this if she'd attended ACME Looniversity.
i never knew i wanted this!
Oh you poor deluded prismatic-haired foal. You have no idea what you are about to experience...
*pulls a Laz-E-Pon out of Stuff Space along with soda and nachos*
Time to watch another whose pride will be their undoing.
This gonna be GOOD!
Quite clever premise. So from now on. Twilight builds the crazisest contraptions and Rainbow Dash uses them to chase the Road Runner. I wonder if in the end they will meet Kiwi?.
so is rainbow going to fall down cliif wild coyote style
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I'm trying to think of a way to make that happen, which is kinda hard since Rainbow can, y'know, fly.
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Well, it does happen...
Based only on feats of speed they performed on-screen, Rainbow can go at least Mach 2, but I recall measuring the distance the roadrunner travels in one scene and calculating a speed of about Mach 400...
Both of them have basically infinite maneuverability, so that's fair, at least
11139752
With your typical Road Runner chase sequence, gravity always finds a way to cause pain. If it's not from Wile E. falling off a cliff, it's from the cliff falling on him.
Drop a boulder on Rainbow Dash.
Extra points if the boulder is Boulder, Maud's pet rock.
Beep beep!
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True, but as shown with "Griffon the Brushoff", she can still be caught by surprise when very much annoyed.
Of course, MLP wasn't always consistent with its own continuity.
Rainbow you are going to regret messing with the Roadrunner....so much.
But we shall enjoy watching you suffer so much, so that'll even things out. Perfectly balanced...as all things should be.
I'm wondering now, what kind of silly scientific names we'll be seeing.
*PING*
ROAD RUNNER: Ludicrous Celeritavis
*PING*
RAINBOW DASH: Equiris Volatilis
Heh, heh. Just thought of some way this story could probably end after Rainbow Dash concedes that this bird may be as fast as her:
Girls! Look at this adorable, little mouse I discovered!
Mouse: Yee-haw! Epi! Epi! Undalay! Yee-haw!
(Mouse takes off in a cloud of dust)
Oh, no, you don't! I am NOT letting a mouse be faster than me!
(Rainbow Dash takes off after the mouse)
Ugh! Here we go again!
Huh.
Any chance of more chapters?
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Definitely before the end of the contest deadline. There's only gonna be one or two more.
11138801
Yeah, all that was really missing was Dash declaring "Of course, you realize, this means war!".
This is good
Y'know, Road Runner never had a worthy rival since Speedy Gonzales. This will be legendary.
Being a huge Looney Tunes fan, I knew I had to read this. 😆 And it was great! I loved how Rainbow Dash took the Road Runner's existence and speed so personally. This honestly could stand as it is as a one-shot, but I see it's marked incomplete, and admittedly I'm curious to see more of Rainbow Dash's coyote-like attempts to best the bird. I'll be keeping an eye on this one
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I'm glad you liked it.