• Member Since 20th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 24th, 2011

undeadpufferfish


Age: 23 Sex: Male About me: I'm pretty much boring.

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After Princess Celestia's decision to banish her sister to the moon, she's come to realize that her power is diminishing. There is an unbalance of power and the Elements of Harmony are lost to her. Discord is her only hope to help put it right, but at a price.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 27 )

Definitely interesting so far; I feel like you and I might have similar headcanons, at least in principle, regarding to power balance in this world.

Looking forward to more! :)

I liek this, very interesting

???

jolly good show old chap

This is looking very interesting. Tracked and hope you keep it up.

You are a brony, welcome to the herd bro

im really liking this, hope you continue.

This was amazing. You captured Discord so well, and turned into quite the captivating victim. What I felt with the exchange between him and Celestia is beyond my ability to put into words.

Good start, lots of potential.
I'm gonna track it :twilightsmile:

There's only one thing I don't understand. For one thing, you're writing pony fanfiction, which in itself implies that you are a fan. Then there's the fact that you've captured the characters on a very intimate level, even more so than the usual writer. How can you do that and maintain that you are not a fan? It's a foolish denial, my friend, and one that ill becomes a writer of your caliber.

But I can't sway your opinion. If you say you aren't a brony, I won't press the matter any farther. Just know that there is a place in the herd for you.

78685 Thank you very much for your observations, and I completely feel where you're coming from. I won't get into the reasons why I feel like I'm not a true fan (because I fear I may start a riot) but I'm glad that I'm welcome nonetheless. Thanks for your review. I was thinking it wouldn't be good enough since I've only ever watched a couple or so episodes.

I was genuinely surprised to see that, after reading this (and skipping the AN), you say you aren't a brony or even a genuine fan. I second FanNotANerd, and will also respect your statement. I'm still surprised that one of the most well written stories was written by someone who doesn't call himself a fan. No offence! More a testament to your ability to write outside your comfort zone.

79358 No offence taken, haha. I'm actually very happy I've managed to impress hardcore fans. Thanks very much and I hope to maintain the same, if not better, quality to my writing.

78345 I hope I can top amazing. Thanks a lot for your review!

I think either perspective will yield good results at this point, depending on what you have planned for character interaction. Either way, looking foward to reading more.

81468
possibly whichever one reveals less though dialog should get the perspective

I'm liking this too. Keep it up. Discord was always an interesting character. Waiting for more!
P.S. Discord needs an emoticon down there.

Do what you wish but I personally prefer discords perspective.

if you change to celestia's perspective will it be permanent? im really enjoying the story through discords perspective, especially when he was describing his utopia. it would be kinda cool if you did switch perspectives to celestia's, we would be able to see what she thinks on this whole thing and if she actually trusts discord. you would even be able to take the story back to the beginning for a chapter or two.

in the end its up to you but i'll still read it as long as it stays this quality because so far im really liking it, keep up the great work!

Well, since no one of us knows where you will take the story it is hard to say.

If you plan to make it a more adventure like story where Discord has to be defeated once again maybe multiple perspectives are good to describe what happens at different places and how different characters think.
However, if you plan to make this story more about Discords character development (that's what I'm hoping for) than I think it's far more interesting to let the perspective focus on and around Discord to see through his eyes and learn what he thinks and feel. If you plan to include Celestia in this development than maybe it's interesting to learn about her feelings and thoughts too.
Come to think of it, I usually prefer stories with a very small set of perspectives (one or two).

Keep it to Discord. To be honest, that's what gives the story its charm.

Now, I'm noticing a couple minor issues. Nothing major; just a couple run-on sentences and the use of "it's" where "its" should be used. In the case of "it," the apostrophe does not imply possession, instead forming a short form of "it is". It's a fairly common mistake, but one that shouldn't be overlooked.

Apart for that, well done.

Why is ever one so amazed that he isn't one of you.
Just because he doesn't pray to a certian tree, doesn't mean he can't know how to tend for it.:moustache:

83320 Thank you for the corrections, I'll be sure to touch it up before I update again.

This has been very interesting so far. I look forward to seeing where you go with it. Please keep writing it in whatever way you think is best.

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