Celestia woke up to the sound of giggling and a faint pressure on her muzzle. She smacked at the unknown presence with a hoof and heard a voice yelp in pain. With a jolt, she remembered what had happened and sprung up. She looked around wildly to see her sister lying unconscious at her side and Paradox on the floor nearby, rubbing his chest where Celestia had hit him.
“Paradox,” Celestia said, eyes narrowing. “What were you doing?”
“Just finishing your makeover,” Paradox said, smirking. “Tell me, what do you think?” he added, pulling a hand mirror out of thin air. Celestia hesitantly levitated the mirror over and looked at her reflection. She couldn't help but smile with relief when she saw that Paradox had only stuck a large black moustache on her muzzle.
“Is that all you've been up to?” Celestia asked hopefully, glancing back over to Paradox. As she moved she heard a clink, and looked down at her leg. A shackle and chain connected her to Luna. She tried opening it with her magic, but she couldn't actually touch the chain or affect it in any way.
“I've made it so that chain is both unbreakable and immune to all sorts of magic,” Paradox explained, seeing Celestia's horn glow, “And before you ask, that still isn't everything I did while you were asleep. Seriously, the two of you have been out of it for such a long time! Though time has gotten a little confusing for me as of late.”
“Oh, and why is that?” Celestia asked, keeping her voice polite. “Wait, who has been taking care of the sun? How long was I out?” Celestia asked, a hint of panic entering her voice.
“Well, that's what I've been working on!” Paradox said, gesturing to the mirror. “Go ahead, take a look!” Curious, Celestia gazed into the mirror. Instead of her own reflection, the mirror showed images of three different sleeping alicorns. Each one looking like her but with slight differences. One had a mane that was pure pink that glittered and danced as the mare slept. Another had a mane of a brilliant sunset, glowing through a spectrum of oranges and reds. The third alicorn differed the most, with a brilliant pink coat, translucent fairy wings, and a bright blue mane.
“What or who are they?” Celestia asked.
“They're you, or rather versions of you. Each one is loosely based off of one of your personality traits and will grow from there,” Paradox explained. He shrunk down to the size of a paperclip and appeared in the mirror. “This one,” he said, pointing to the sunset-maned alicorn, “is based off of your temper and desire to rule. I call her I.H. The pink maned alicorn represents your desires and is very decadent. I call her Molly. Finally, that pink abomination was supposed to be based off of your manipulative and planning side. I'm pretty sure that's not what I got, so I just call it Failure. Regardless, they all think that they are you, and they've been enchanted so that everyone - sorry, everypony - will think that they are you as well. Hmm, what else did I do? Oh yeah, that moustache is a perfect disguise. Even Luna won't recognize you.” Paradox shut up, taking a few deep breaths after rattling all that information off.
“Alright,” Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself, “so why did you do all of that? What do you expect to happen?” she asked.
“...Chaos?” Paradox offered, after a pause. “I'm not really sure why. I suppose so you are kept busy, but really it's just to see what happens. I'm not entirely done yet, I've still got to modify the layout of the palace so that no pony can find their way around.”
“Wait, don't! If you do that then...the government will be thrown into chaos,” Celestia stuttered to a stop, as she realized what she was saying.
“Not only that, but if I didn't then this whole ‘have four Celestias running around’ thing would be solved in, like, five minutes,” Paradox added, before disappearing. Celestia started to stand up, but Luna rolled over jerking her hoof to the side. Celestia sighed and gently jumped over Luna to a more comfortable position. I hate this. I've been left helpless, and all I can do is hope that Twilight pulls through and saves us yet again. Celestia thought to herself. No, I won't give up. This time, Twilight won't have to fight on her own. I don't care if Paradox is more powerful then I am, I'll find a way to fight back. Celestia poked her sister but seeing no response, she decided to start plan B. Celestia focused on casting an ancient contingency spell that she had never needed to activate before. Celestia's horn glowed, spreading light throughout the room. With a burst of effort, Celestia caused the light to expand further as her horn overglowed. The light quickly expanded to form a bubble over most of the castle. The bubble popped. As it did, every Royal Guard within it appeared before Celestia.
“My loyal guards, I have summoned you here in order to inform you of a great threat to all of Equestria,” Celestia said, regally.
“Who are you?” one guard asked, while other guards began muttering to each other.
“What? Don't you recognize your Princess? I am Celestia of course,” Celestia said, standing in surprise and yanking Luna's hoof towards her shackled leg.
“Our princess doesn't have such a horrific moustache,” one guard declared.
“Yeah. Besides, I was standing guard in Princess Celestia's court right before I was brought here. You can't be the Princess,” another guard chimed in.
“Look, she's got Princess Luna shackled to her,” a guard pointed out.
“She must of knocked Princess Luna out and taken her prisoner, get her!” one guard yelled.
“Charge!” they all screamed as they ran at Princess Celestia. Thinking quickly, Celestia picked Luna up in her magic and ran away. She ran for one of her windows, blowing it and a fair chunk of wall apart with her magic as she leaped out into the air. She flapped her wings frantically, not used to carrying her sister's weight in flight. Meanwhile, roughly half of her guards had been forced to stop, but the pegasi among her troops were still in pursuit. Looking around for a place to hide, Celestia gasped, almost dropping Luna in her surprise. Paradox had already transformed much of the castle to be unrecognizable to her, it's shape resembling nothing more than a mutant sea urchin with wings. The gardens, once a triumph of order and pony engineering, had become an alien jungle of blue and orange plants, with the occasional glimpse of some terrifying monster moving through the thick foliage.
“Surrender the Princess you moustached fiend!” a pegasi guard yelled as he rammed Celestia.
“Ugh,” Celestia grunted, shaking her head and flapping hard to prevent a crash. With a flick of her magic, she sent the guard flying back into his companions. Several of them were knocked out of the air.
“Come on troops, only the Princesses live forever!” one guard yelled, the guards cheered and charged Celestia again.
“I've had enough of this,” Celestia muttered, before unleashing another spell, creating a ball of light between herself and the herd of pegasi. At the last second the ball of light exploded, flinging all of the pegasi back and blinding them. Celestia quickly dove into the jungle below her, and took cover beneath a tree.
“What happened?” a guard yelled.
“She just, just exploded!” another guard yelled.
“Run away!” the guards all shouted before scattering in a panic. Celestia watched them fly away for a few seconds.
“I've really got to raise the standards to get into the Royal Guard,” Celestia sighed, and stared at her sister, still asleep on her back. “How are you still asleep after all of that?” she asked. Not receiving an answer, Celestia sighed again and started walking through the jungle. She only managed a few short steps before vines shot from the grounds, wrapping around her head and horn. Celestia ignited her horn, burning the vines and the ground around herself to ash. She walked on, keeping a shield of flame handy. As she walked, she took a closer look at the plant life. The flowers she looked at were beautiful and smelled delicious. A quick nibble almost made Celestia vomit as her mouth filled with the taste of rancid cantaloupe. Celestia coughed as the plant released a sweet smelling smoke. Once again, Celestia burned the surrounding area, creating a miniature glade in the jungle. Celestia felt a little tipsy from the smoke, and very very thirsty. Spotting what she hoped was a pool of water, Celestia galloped over.
“Wait, this doesn't look like water,” Celestia muttered to herself, staring into the light blue pool. She pulled up a plant and tossed it into the pool. The plant immediately stuck to the top of the pool. Celestia tugged on the plant with her magic, but it seemed to be stuck. Congratulating herself on her foresight, Celestia moved on, following what seemed to be a trail. Up ahead, there was a strange hissing noise. Not wanting to be surprised, Celestia proceeded cautiously. She soon came upon a weird sight; a giant slug was locked in combat with several flying serpents of emerald and jade, with wings of golden light. I think those are the same as the snake that bit me, but they are fighting a giant slug monster, Celestia thought as she watched the slug suddenly move and spit a glob of acidic slime onto one of the serpents. The small bites and scorch marks on the slug were already fading away. Alright, that settles it. No giant, acid spitting slugs that regenerate are allowed in my garden! Celestia blasted the slug with a stream of fire, engulfing the entire slug in a mighty inferno. To her surprise, the slug surged out of the inferno, moving with surprising speed. It spat a glob of acid at Celestia, who just barely caught it with her telekinesis. She yelped in pain as some small globs escaped her grasp and burned her face.
“I've had enough of this!” Celestia yelled, grabbing the singed slug with her magic. It was harder to lift with her magic than expected, but it still rose in the air, flailing and spitting more globs of acid. “GET OUT OF MY GARDEN!” Celestia screamed as she flung the monstrous slug into the sky. She watched it fly until it disappeared over the horizon before turning around and facing the flying serpents which were simply staring at her. “It's okay, I'm not going to-” Celestia began before one of the serpents hissed and dove at her. Celestia ducked in surprise, narrowly avoiding another bite. She blocked the dives from the other serpents with a simple shield of magic. “Why does everything have to be so difficult?” Celestia demanded, panting in exertion from all of the magic she had been using. One of the serpents hit the shield with its wing of light, and a crack formed in the shield in response. “Oh no way,” Celestia said, renewing the shield with a thought. The other serpents imitated their comrade and also began chipping away at the shield with their wings. Celestia took a deep breath and prepared to see if the serpents were fireproof when a screeching cry interrupted her. Philomena swooped down and snatched out a serpent, gobbling it up in a few snaps of her beak. The rest of the serpents tried to attack the phoenix, but the canny bird had no trouble dispatching them as she flew around Celestia.
“Philomena, am I glad to see you,” Celestia said, grinning at the proud bird. The phoenix cawed and started preening Celestia's mane. “Now I just need to find someplace to hide while I wait for Luna to finally wake up. Can you show me the way?” Celestia asked. Philomena nodded and quickly took off. Celestia followed suit. The pair flew up, heading for one of the new towers sticking out of the increasingly disorderly palace. Just before they landed in the window, a pink cloud appeared overhead and rained chocolate milk all over Celestia and Luna. Celestia groaned but otherwise ignored the inconvenience as she landed inside the tower. Looking around, she noticed it was the mostly abandoned castle dungeons. “Well, at least it's dry and nothing will be bothering us here,” Celestia said to Philomena. As soon as she finished speaking a swarm of pink clouds rushed in, spraying her with chocolate milk and covering her in cotton candy. “PARADOX!” Celestia screamed at the top of her lungs.
“Can I help you Princess?” Paradox asked, rising up from the floor. Celestia glared at him, too tired and upset to be surprised.
“Why do you insist on making my life as difficult as possible? Does my suffering amuse you so?” Celestia hissed.
“What do you mean?” Paradox asked.
“The clouds, the moustache, and my garden! Everything's been attacking me and chasing me all around the place! Now I'm wet, sticky, and stuck in my own dungeon where there certainly isn't some place for me to wash up! Today was going to be such a good day too! Chrysalis had just been defeated and I finally had some time off to simply relax together with Twilight!” Celestia yelled, stomping a hoof.
“I'm sorry,” Paradox apologized. He snapped his fingers and all of cotton candy and chocolate, including what was stuck on Celestia, flew out the window and formed into the shape of a dragon. “So that's how that happened,” Paradox said, watching it fly off towards Ponyville.
“What did you do?” Celestia asked, moving to where she could see out the window.
“Nothing important,” Paradox responded, stamping his foot on the ground and transforming the ground beneath Celestia into a luxurious hot tub. Celestia yelped in surprise as she fell into the water but quickly emerged, levitating Luna beside her.
“What are you up to Paradox? First the pranks and now you're being nice to me. It doesn't make sense,” Celestia said.
“What fun is there in making sense? Ha, you have no idea how much fun it was to say that,” Paradox said, grinning. “Okay, okay. Seriously I do want us to be friends or at least not mortal enemies. Your little outburst there made me think that I'm being a little too hard on you prank wise. I mean, this whole day will likely be hard on you on you regardless. I don't need to be complicating things with the moustache and the cotton candy clouds.”
“How can you expect me to be friends with somepony who has so far stolen my throne and given it to cheap copies, turned my guard against me, transformed my magnificent garden into a lethal jungle full of monsters, and scattered my student and her friends across time and space?” Celestia asked.
“Only if you look at it so negatively; for the first time, you can take a vacation and leave the throne to others. You can finally go around and be treated like a normal pony rather than a princess. I've created a whole new ecosystem that can be studied and appreciated from your front door. As for Twilight, well, you ordered her to turn me to stone. What did you think I was going to do; just stand there and make a funny pose?” Paradox replied.
“You are still putting ponies at risk with that garden, as well as Twilight and her friends wherever they are,” Celestia countered.
“First off, Twilight is perfectly safe - as is Applejack. Secondly, you send them into danger all of the time. Finally, I'm confident that they can handle anything I throw at them,” Paradox said, ignoring the bit about the garden.
“I don't like sending them into danger, I only do so when there is no other choice,” Celestia said, looking down.
“Well, what about that sleeping dragon you sent them to kick out?” Paradox asked.
“They were in no real danger there; no dragon that age would invite my wrath by hurting one of my ponies. Even if the dragon was willing to risk it, I was keeping an eye on the situation. If it got out of hand I would have intervened. Plus, it was an important lesson in leadership skills for Twilight,” Celestia said. Paradox thought about that for a second before nodding.
“Fair enough, and I can't remember any other cases where you sent them into danger when it wasn't an emergency,” Paradox said.
“So you'll bring Twilight and her friends back?” Celestia asked hopefully.
“No, they'll all have to face their challenges and overcome them. Hopefully they'll even learn that chaos doesn't have to be that bad of a thing while they do it. One thing though, why do you always call them 'Twilight and friends'?” Paradox replied.
“Because they are her friends, and I know Twilight the best,” Celestia replied.
“And what is Twilight to you? Your friend? Minion? Faithful student? The leader of the Elements of Harmony? Just another tool you use to maintain order and harmony in Equestria?” Paradox asked.
“No!” Celestia yelled, “Twilight is my friend, and I'd never treat her or any other pony for that matter, as a tool.”
“Friends don't give friends missions,” Paradox countered. “Also, they don't ignore them when they warn you of danger. If you had just listened to Twilight at the wedding that whole disaster with the changlings could have been averted. You brushed her off when she tried to warn her about Nightmare Moon as well.”
“I… made a mistake,” Celestia admitted with a sigh, “I thought that after a thousand years to think, Luna would have calmed down enough for me to talk her out of being Nightmare Moon. As for the royal wedding, I was just so caught up in being happy for Cadence that I wouldn't accept anything that could get in the way of that happiness. But that doesn't change the fact that I let her down both personally and as her ruler.”
“Alright, but did you even apologize?” Paradox asked.
“I was going to do that today, or however long ago you showed up was,” Celestia said. Paradox stared at the sad looking princess for a few moments before lunging forward and giving her a hug. Celestia stiffened but let the strange being hug her. Finally, Paradox seemed to realize what he was doing and backed off, sitting fully clothed on the other end of the hot tub.
“You looked like you needed a hug,” Paradox said, blushing. “Anyways, I'm curious on why you are so sad about not making your date with Twilight.” Paradox gasped and clapped his hands. “That's it! You're in love with Twilight aren't you? And you're upset that I ruined your chance to confess your feelings to her!”
“You're wrong,” Celestia snapped, “While I do love Twilight, it is not in a romantic manner.”
“Oh Celestia, you don't need to lie to me. If you can't trust the successor of your archenemy then who can you trust?” Paradox asked, lazily creating glasses of wine for them both.
“Why should I trust you?” Celestia asked with a snort.
“Because no one will ever believe me,” Paradox said softly. “I could scream the truth about your relationship from the rooftops and everypony would just think that it was a ploy on my part. Also I will answer a question or two of yours in return.”
Celestia stared at Paradox silently for a few moments, sipping the strawberry sweet wine he had provided. “Very well, I shall tell you then. But first, I want you to answer some questions,” she said.
“Alright, shoot,” Paradox said lazily, making a face as he sipped at his own glass.
“First off, where is Discord?” Celestia asked.
“Bleh, boring question. I don't actually know, he gave me his powers and then disappeared, so he could be anywhere in the multiverse by now. Next question, and please make it interesting,” Paradox said.
Celestia thought for a minute or two before speaking. “You've mentioned details of Twilight's and my life that you couldn't possibly know. How do you know so much about us?” she asked.
“Much better,” Paradox clapped in glee, bubbles spraying everywhere and bouncing off the walls. “Now as I hope you have guessed, I'm from another world. In my world, we might have the ability to unknowingly witness segments of the lives of important individuals of other worlds. In the case of Equestria, we observe the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her friends.”
“Then why-” Celestia said, getting cut off by Paradox.
“No, no, I said one or two questions. Three is right out! So now you have to answer my question; what are your feelings towards your most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle?” Paradox said. Celestia tried to protest, but she was just shushed by Paradox again and again.
“Fine, I'll tell you,” Celestia sighed, giving up. “I want to love Twilight, but right now I can't have a real relationship with her. She's still too caught up in her impression of me as her perfect Princess and teacher, while still continually ignoring her own accomplishments and judgement in favour of my own. I'm afraid that if I court her, she'll accept me not out of love but out of a feeling of duty. So until the day that she's either my equal, pursues the relationship on her own initiative, or stops putting me on a pedestal, I refuse to let myself fall in love with Twilight.”
Paradox stared at Celestia thoughtfully for a few moments, before suddenly chugging down his wine and throwing the glass at the wall at full strength. The glass shattered, transforming into fireworks which exploded around Paradox as he rose out of the water and struck a dramatic pose.
“Do not worry Celestia, for I - Paradox, the Prince of Passion - shall help you achieve your dreams of romance with the lovely Twilight Sparkle! With my help, I'm sure the two of you will be having a wedding of your own in no time! Hmm, I can't have changlings show up though, that was done already. Perhaps a romantic rival? I wonder if I could book Trixie in that position,” Paradox said, spinning around. “No need to thank me Celestia, I'll get started right away,” Paradox added when Celestia tried to protest. With a clap of his hands, he disappeared leaving behind an orchestral band playing wedding music.
Celestia simply stared and closed her eyes, sipping her wine and letting the heat from the hot tube relax her. Well on the bright side, Paradox is actually capable of being nice. And I doubt he'll harm anypony else while he's trying to get Twilight and I to fall in love. On the downside, HE'S GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING! No, no, Celestia, keep calm. Twilight is in a different dimension, and Paradox will forget about the whole thing as soon as something else catches his attention. Nothing to worry about. I just need to focus on getting her and the other Elements back safely so we can restore harmony. Celestia thought.
“Mmm, Celestia?” Luna murmured, “why am I in a bath?” She flailed her legs around a little before sitting upright beside Celestia. “Your student needs to sleep - who the flying feather are you and where is my sister?” Luna said, interrupting herself when she caught a good look at Celestia.
“I'm Celestia, and yes I know I don't look like her. Paradox enchanted this moustache to disguise me.
“Prove it.”
“When we were just little fillies, you used to have a pet abacus you called Abby,” Celestia said.
“You never shall let me forget that will you? Now what has happened while I slept?” Luna asked. Celestia quickly filled Luna in on what Paradox had done and her adventures throughout the day. She stayed silent on Paradox's promise to help her win Twilight's heart though. She didn't need the teasing from Luna on top of everything else.
“Well Luna, do you have any idea on how we can get Twilight and her friends back?” Celestia asked.
“Not exactly. Twilight was able to give me an idea on where the other Elements may be found, but they all seem to be outside our reach. We-”
“You spoke with Twilight? How is she? Where is she? What's she doing?” Celestia interrupted.
“She's not sleeping, that's why I was unconscious for so long. I needed to wait for her mind to enter a dream before I could contact her. Right now she's inside a gigantic library that supposedly contains all the information in the universe,” Luna said.
“That's great news Luna! She'll be able to return right away then,” Celestia said, ears perking up and a huge grin on her face.
“Actually I told her to stay in the library for now and gather information,” Luna said.
“What? Why would you tell her that?” Celestia yelled.
“Um, well, I thought that Twilight would be safer and more useful there,” Luna said, eyes widening in surprise.
“”Why would you think that? We need Twilight to use the Elements of Harmony,” Celestia said.
“We also need the rest of the Element bearers. If she comes back before everything is prepared, Paradox can just send her off someplace else, or worse,” Luna replied.
“That's… that's true,” Celestia sighed. “So what do you think we should do now? We can't just sit tight and wait for Twilight's friends to return home.”
“Indeed. We must find some way to thwart Paradox in his plan to bring chaos to Equestria. Sheer force is clearly out of the picture, but perhaps we can keep the fallout of his actions in check. “Starting with this shackle binding us together,” Luna said, transforming into a sparkling mist. She quickly reformed a few feet away. “Next, we must figure out a way to defeat those three imposters Paradox has created. I think simply confronting them will do. I'm sure when we do it shall prove easy enough to prove their identities.”
“It's not as simple as that Luna. First off, Paradox has transformed our palace into a maze, so even finding them will be a challenge. Secondly, my royal guardsponies think I'm an imposter. They'll do their best to protect the imposters. Finally, I wouldn't put it past my little ponies to be too silly to notice the difference between the imposters and myself. So they may think that you are trying to overthrow me and take over Equestria again,” Celestia said.
“Then we simply must convince the common pony of the legitimacy of our actions! Either by somehow removing that silly moustache, or by summoning Cadence back home,” Luna said, as she cast a spell summoning her royal guard to her. The few ponies that served Luna slowly arrived, making their way through the maze with Luna's magic as their beacon. The collection of bat ponies, unicorns, and the occasional earth pony stood at attention as they awaited the Princess's command.
“We await your command Princess,” they chorused.
“First, we command that you seek our niece, Princess Cadenza. Next, the castle is currently home to three doppelgangers of my sister. We want you to find them, observe them, and gather evidence that they are doppelgangers. If they give any questionable demands, then it will be your duty to thwart them! Now fly my minions!” Princess Luna said, her guards scattering to do her bidding as soon as she stopped speaking. “Now let's get started on removing that moustache,” Luna added, approaching Celestia with a glint in her eyes.
Glad to see this update again and that your writer's block/semester is over
As for style for Paradox chapter since I'm leaning towards the way you wrote the prologue, it being first person I think just fits for him.
Great chapter.
You know, it would be nice if we could have just one or two stories where Celestia and Twilight weren't desperate to bone each other. You know, just to try out that whole wacky hetero-normative thing for a change of pace.
Hmm, this chapter has thrown my perceptions of Paradox off. I thought all the talk about showing how chaos could be a good thing was going to be about technological advancement and discovery and such. Instead he's pretty much just doing what Discord was doing and needlessly causing comedic havoc.
Heck, things like life itself are based off of chaos, and not just the idea of evolution with mutations becoming beneficial. The act of conception is a process of chaos, what with tons of sperm trying to fertilize one or more eggs. The outcome is fairly random and chaotic.
I also thought he was going to put the world under natural law where nature, animals, the sun and moon would take care of themselves. When you think about it, there are probably more benefits to such a thing then there are problems. Think of how many ponies waste their entire lives doing what takes care of itself here. Sure, there would be a pretty drastic economic change with so many ponies getting put out of work, but that would only hurt one or two generations before settling in something better than it was before. More ponies would be able to donate their lives to the pursuit of knowledge and business, causing society to progress in leaps and bounds. Something that has been shown not to happen in Equestria as they are 2,000+ years old and are still less advanced than America, which is still a longways away from being even a millennium old. As an added bonus, no more worries about another Nightmare Moon incident.
Well, enough rambling, I can't wait for the elements to get back together and face Paradox... just for them to be separated again at the snap of his fingers. They will be surprised that someone didn't stand still when they tried to defeat them, not once, but twice.
Holy shit, featured again.
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The bottom 3 stories on the feature box are for updates to stories that were featured.
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Oh. Well then.
...
IGNORE ME!
Hmmm you know what it could be interest, that blush…that little part that you show, Paradox its helping all around him to be with their special one, but what about him? is he interest in anyone? He has a crush on Celestia isn't it? That its why he didn't confront it head on, he respect her decision, and wants to be her friend, what a friend he is sacrificing his own happiness to ensure she is happy, that its true friendship.
Oh maybe Twilight will be out of words but when all clears out maybe she will have to reject Celestia because she tells her that unfortunately she is into stallions only but wants to be her friend never the least.
This is what I like to see later own, a piece of mind on reality, Celestia has always had everything she ever had wish, but for the first time…she didn't have what she want, she is on a new territory and Paradox its teaching her a lesson on friendship and love, by abandoning his love for her, that its something of respect.
Please if you don't have anything plan out consider that out come to happen
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Hooking him up with Luna who hates his guts would be funnier and allow for greater hilarity. If any human romance was actually going to happen in this story.
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Well…then the author have 2 options there he end up with Luna for comedy effect or hooking him up with Celestia for drama effect, it his call
I want to like this fic. Really I do. It is very amusing and is decently told.
However the big turn off is the blatant shipping going on. It's just feels really awkward. That's just me opinion though. Looking forward to your next story, but cut back on the shipping next time please.
Also, towards the end there I can't but help see Paradox in the same light as the Paradox from the Yugioh Abridged Movie.
Good way of saying that celestia
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I'll stop doing it when the show does.
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Doesn't help that my other story is literally all about the shipping huh?
Do you have any specific ideas on how I could improve the shipping? Or do you mean it's awkward in that in doesn't fit the story at all? Feedback is always nice (particularly on this subject, since I consider it one of the parts of writing I'm weak at)
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That is exactly what I commented on while editing this.
Use
Use
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Well to be frank if I was in a similar situation with Paradox trying to play matchmaker, I'd be pretty freaked out.
I would say do his chapter more like the prologue was done. I think the people mentioning the shipping are getting rubbed the wrong way because its going into the trap most fimfics go into where since most of the characters are female you end up writing all the characters as gay rather than digging up male characters and having to characterize them since the show doesnt really do that for males.
Its always weird to see a population entirely(entirely of the characters we get to know that is) depicted as gay since thats not how it would work realistically. Obviously none of this story is meant to be realistic...its just something that will rub anyone who knows how foals are made and how populations work the wrong way at some level.
I am so glad to see this story update. i love it and can't wait for another update. This chapter was awesome especially since you got to see more into pardox mind.
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Honestly, I think the point is that the shipping isn't necessary. This is kind of like that story about the gale king martial artist colt with slitted eyes. The story was about him and his dealings with adversity because of his eyes and trying to settle into a more regular life... then the author shipped, literally, every single character in the story, including background characters. It was completely unnecessary to the central premise of the story and was unrealistic because all these couples formed up within a week or two in story time.
This story is going down a similar road, the shipping is adding nothing to improve the story and is instead taking away from the main plot. This would be a better story if you just focused on Paradox's plans and the ponies dealing with them. It's not too bad yet, and it was really the Twilestia that started pushing this into the danger zone; the Dash/Shy wasn't bad and at least was playing an integral role in the story as it gave a good reason why they were sent out together instead of on their own like the rest.
Going back and taking out the Twiliestia would probably be appreciated by a lot of people, but it's not destroying the story, so you can leave it in without consequence. Just, try and avoid shipping anymore characters and focus on the conflicts, you have quite a few different ones in this story that can really be developed.
Also, Twilestia stories in which Celestia loves Twilight before becoming a princess and where her becoming a princess is intended, adds a bit of a sad tone to the whole affair. As many people point out, Twilight is not a good candidate for being a immortal ruler, all her achievements were just as much her friends as they were her own and a lot of the times she saved the day, she was the one who caused the problem. With love thrown into the mix, it seems like Celestia is turning Twilight, not for the good of the kingdom, but for her own means. After all, when you're an immortal, you'll probably want to be with another immortal as to avoid having to watch them age and die.
Oh, and it's a bit creepy as Celestia practically raised Twilight since she was a little filly. The mass age difference was already a little weird, with that fact added, Celestia seems like a bit of a monster. She could have manipulated and molded Twilight to be perfect for her, which I'm sure a lot of people would consider immoral. Celestia says she doesn't like Twilight's worshiping of her, but she could be lying and actually be into that and made sure Twilight would so as to satisfy a fetish.
3676570
why the long ass comment?
3675110 Except the show doesn't. It's more motherly than romantic. As it is, I utterly despise Twilestia and I'm pretty fucking disappointed you included it when it's utterly unnecessary.
Also it's pretty fucking asnine of Paradox to acknowledge that the mustache bit was a bit much and then leave it anyway.
3675373 wow
Giggity. That is all.
3676570
Comments like this frustrate me because I can't answer them completely without giving away spoilers. If you want an answer to any questions/concerns then please send me a PM instead. Thank you for the great comment though.
As for Celestia/Twilight shipping well I've never found it creepy (though it can very well be presented that way) and I do think the show is teasing us with it occasionally. Yes there can be a lot of negative ways to view it, but I think those negative ways could be applied to almost any relationship Celestia could be in and I refuse the idea that Celestia has to end up alone and unloved.
3658137 Drat!
Now fly my minions!
Fly my stupids, fly!
On the Paradox chapter, either style sounds good to me, although first person would work better because he is the central character. Celestia and twilight, it's odd I used to loathe shipping and I still don't know why, I felt a flicker of annoyance for a moment but I got over it after your comment on it. Why would some shipping bother me, now or back then?
Frist off great idea for a story I have not seen this used before second is Paradox going to fall in love or not? I like to know
3714491
The knowledge to create universes doesn't necessitate the ability to create universes. Also it only contains possible futures. If an action is impossible, then it wouldn't be found anyways.
3715036 Again, orb show me the book on how i can obtain omnipotence, and its location relative to me. That's the problem with infinites. If loosely defined they can be exploited by those with the proper imagination/vernacular. In Diaries of a Madman the main character obtains a key that can unlock anything, physical or imaginary/metaphorical. He uses it on real locks and to unlock peoples mental resistances for questioning. The problem with this object is that it creates one massive plot hole. It is proven to work on imaginary locks, so it could be used to 'unlock' knowledge he hadn't learned yet. All he has to do is imagine something unobtained as 'locked' and by 'unlocking' it in his imagination he obtains it in reality. Omnipotence, omniscience, even omnipresence could all be obtained by imagining those attributes as simply 'locked.' Of course this could be fixed by amending the keys functions to an upwards limit of the power it took to create the key, but the key is clearly defined as being able to unlock anything. If you don't mind being in a story for the long haul (and you haven't already read it) I can't recommend that story more. As long as you can look past some clichés. He recently rewrote much of the 1.43m word story, its pretty up to snuff with his current quality.
Edit: I'm not trying to jump all over your writing. I'm just saying it's an exploitable library. Part of writing a good story is having characters not handle every situation perfectly. Letting a character use hindsight to grow is a major part of growing your characters, if they are perfect to begin with you can't do that and the story is boring. If i was ever handed infinite power i would be extremely wary of using it. After all you don't know for sure where it's been, might get power aids.
3720521
Well that's another example of something that's impossible. Basically the library has 3 hard limitations (no loopholes or any ways around it)
1. It can only show the futures of events that are possible. If the action can't be done than it's simply not in the library. This includes stuff like accelerating an object beyond the speed of light.
2. It only shows Equestria's futures as if Equestria and the Library were the only two dimensions that existed. This is simply because Paradox didn't feel like expending the effort to create them further.
3. The books are static. That is to say that they don't track the future. Many of them are already 'obsolete' and if another human was brought to Equestria no new books would be formed.
Then there are lots of soft limitations as well, the biggest being:
1. The books do not affect free will. Twilight might take all the actions a book lays out to her to ensure a certain future, and then it can still fail because other ponies choose to do something else.
3724609 Ah, my memory of the library was going on a good five months of age. After skimming the relevant chapter as a refresher I extrapolated "library" and "infinite knowledge." I realize now that that isn't the case. Five months though. Five. Months. Though. Where you been?
3725901
I was off saving the world. Notice how the 2013 apocalypse didn't happen? Your welcome.
More seriously it was my last semester of my degree, so it had my focus.
You should join the 1000 up vote club. You are quite eligible
3724609
Even without the limitations you wrote, I'd definitely expect that the library can't be used to constrain other ponies' actions, and thus can't be used to ensure any particular possible future comes to pass. On the other hand, Paradox nicely demonstrated how to use it to find any spell that will ever be invented, and there will never be a spell invented that Twilight can't learn. She also already knows how to travel back in time, which means she has all the relative time in the world to learn, even if she didn't already pick things up incredibly quickly.
So, I stand by my earlier statement: Twilight could walk out of that library in an hour (or before she entered) with pretty much all-powerful magic. That doesn't necessarily make her truly omnipotent, but the difference will be moot for all practical purposes.
Glad to see that you're back and continuing to write.
Keep up the good work, I like where the story is going even if Celestia wants some of Twilight.
Nice!
Excellent.
You know, I could have tolerated the whole Rainbow/Fluttershy shipping, but the Celestia/Twilight one is a bit to much.
I am going to stop reading.
You should have given her socks too!
Emperor's new groove refrence. I'm pretty sure anyway.
Update please :D
*take a big breath* Fuck you universe (Mare love to mare).
i laughed harder than i should of.
3875257
Agreed, this is getting a bit much wit the shipping. It’s like the whole discord heir thing isn’t the focus of the story. Not to mention the pacing is kinda quick, and shipping kinda distracting and feels off. Like, it doesn’t belong (or forced). Seriously, there’s a crisis going on and one pony is thinking about someone’s ass as motivation to keep going within the snowy tundra, while the other ugh, I don’t know. Celestia basically raised twilight, and she’s in love with her romantically? I, I’m not too comfortable with this. |:-/
If there is a third shipping within the story, it’s getting close to a shipfest. And I’m going to start skimming the story.
Not a big fan of the Celstia/Twilight ship but I do like how Paradox was portrayed as well as Celestia's reaction