Into the belly of the Bolt
---
Lots would say Spitfire was always aggressively persistent but this was stretching it. Spitfire had given a newbie recrute pasficic orders one he was a bit unsure of doing but he dared not disobey the captain.
Spitfire sat in the cockpit of a new machine. It was something that was to be tested in the field but this was too important for her, the machine looked like a box… A metal box with a large glass dome atop of its structure is the only way to show any individuality in this metal box of doom. Spitfire sat in a comfy leather chair feeling the air hiss out as she sate back trying to relax she bore a resting glare that didn’t seem to fade anytime soon, looking around her the controls beeped, blinked, surrounding the good captain was short wall of buttons that glowed multiple colors below her was a radar with rod-like controls they didn’t look like they were made for hooves but big heads at the Canterlot labs said they worked, even though they weren’t tested completely.
The sound of a muffled voice through static rang in her ears. She grabbed a headset cupping it over her ears and switching a small microphone to her mouth. “Come again, rookie?”
“Are you really sure about this Ma’am?” A nervous male voice asked, his voice still slightly muffled.
“This is an important rookie, besides you're not the one in any danger.” Spitfire barked; she remained calm but still sounded intimidating enough to the new recruit. She spent years mastering that talent. “All you have to do is deliver and I handle the rest.”
“Y-Yes Ma’am.” The static zapped his voice out leaving Spitfire in the company of the control panels once again.
---
The new member of the Wonder Bolts Shiver Winds a young pegasus with a grey coat and black mane and tail, walking nervously down the hall dragging a cart behind him he kept swallowing aloud a very clear sign he was trying to keep a secret hidden but was doing an awful job at it.
The young pegasus came to the door with a golden plate on it, said place was a bolt with two mighty wings stretching out of it. The sweating rookie knocked on the door, secretly hoping he wasn’t in his office. Shiver... well shivered, waiting for a few seconds ready to turn and run with the cart until a male voice halted him in place.
“Come in.” Shiver dropped his head and opened the door pulling the cart while entering the office of the Wonder Bolt’s second in command Soarin sitting at his office chair. This would have been a grand moment for the young flyer to finally meet his hero but this wasn’t the moment he was wishing for.
“Hey newbie, got you on food delivery eh?” Soarin welcomed in with a clam ton Soarin was tending to some papers setting them down on his desk his office walls were decorated with Wonder Bolts posters and many more memorabilia, Soarin himself wore a light blue officer uniform much like Spitfire’s only this one almost matched his coat color, as the rookie approached Soarin looked to have aged a bit he was showing some wrinkles under his eyes and his mane was messy, it had been only been three years since Twilight’s new rule in power and three major heads of the Wonder Bolts had already seemed to have been aging some like wine. Which Shiver and Rainbow Dash would agree Spitfire and Soarin did.
“Oh, um yes sir. The captain wanted me to make sure you got your meal on time, sir.” Shiver nervously spoke and then remembered to salute his officer.
“Ah I figured she would. Hehe and don’t worry newbie I’m not as uptight.” Soarin chuckled walking over to the cart with a big smile on his face. “So what dose the old bat’s decide meal for me today?”
“Oh right, sorry sir.” Shiver grabbed the plastic container opening it to reveal a hot dog prepared and still steaming, Shiver opened a door in the center of the cart pulling out ketchup and mustard with a green glass bottle of soda. “Umm, hope you enjoy it, sir.”
“Thanks rookie, hey stick around when I’m done eating. I'll give you some bits for wheeling this all the way here. Just don’t tell firebutt.”
---
If Spitfire could she would glare at Soarin till he had holes in his head for that comment, she would have to yell at him for that later she quickly grabbed the seat belt wrapping it around her chest and snapping into the lock of the seat, Spitfire grabbed a hold of the two controls preparing for the worst as her mission was about to begin. She felt a jerking quake as her, now gigantic partner stomped over to the cart grabbing the plate his whole face took up the view of the glass dom, Soarin held the plat in his hoof taking a ketchup bottle and squeezing out the red liquids into the meat log covering the unnoticeable tiny machine his Captain/partner was inside of.
“Oh come on Soarin, gotta get this off the dome… What did those eggheads say was the screen washers?” Spitfire was shaken up by the jerking quakes that came from Soarin’s movement.
Soarin took the plate to his desk sitting it down then grabbed the hot dog bringing it up to his muzzle, he licked his lips exposing his awaiting mouth. Spitfire clicked a button making water squirt over the dome giving her visual back and it was more than what she expected.
Behind the smeared glass she watched as Soarin’s mouth grew bigger and bigger with each second, his white building sized rows of teeth that could crush her easily, and there was Soarin’s enormous spongy tongue shimmering with saliva webs of the silver lines littered all over his mouth, Spitfire pulled herself back deeper into the seat she heard the looming rush of Soarin’s wide mouth coming closer and the low rumbling of his breath sounding like a roaring monster, Spitfire watched as Soarin’s tongue formed double hills lifting up and down beyond the slimy hills of flesh was an awaiting throat that could swallow a whole fleet, with that new shrink ray those unicorns in lab made it was possible.
Spitfire braced herself for impact, Soarin took the front half into his wide mouth biting down taking bread and meat into his mouth, chewing all to bits till it was nothing but globs in his mouth, the stallion swallowed sending it down into his body. Spitfire waited with suspense and a drop of sweat slowly went down her face as her friend's mouth opened again this time taking her all the way in, soon Spitfire found herself in darkness she switched on the lights getting back her view inside the mouth of stallion.
With the sound of an echoing, earth shattering snap, Spitfire was inside. The next phase of the mission just began as she turned the a switch the metal box suddenly shifted the bottom grew tank wheels, she pulled the controllers forward making the machine move it grinned down the moist meat easily slipping down, the massive tongue moved the the meat into his teeth the rows of white came crashing down, the sausage easily squashed between the mighty blocks ripping it to shreds within seconds squishing the meat then the bread soaked up saliva becoming more moist and easier to chew.
Spitfire pressed forward as her metal prison was hit with slimy bits saliva and chewed bits of food Spitfire found it almost impossible to see out of the dome as the globs of slime smashing into the dome smearing the glass, Spitfire rocked hard in her seat as the machine was being tossed around by the tongue, the slimy member lifted up causing the machine to slide down the side of the tongue being pressed between the molars, the fleshy beast kept pushing Spitfire into the molars inside the machine red lights flashed alarms rang Spitfire could hear the machine creaking and quickly pushed the controls forward going along the sides of the tongue then up, Spitfire suddenly felt the machine being launched as the tongue bounced it up Spitfire braced for impact. With a loud clang and smack Spitfire found herself sitting on the center of a molar, Spitfire gasped seeing another half of the meat sausage rest into the center of Soarin’s jaws she quickly flipped a switch, the tank wheels picked up speed Spitfire drove off the molar before the white boulders could colid, smashing the meat to shreds as Soarin chewed up his meal Spitfire knew what was coming next and turned the machine to back of Soarin’s mouth as he chewed avoiding the falling slope, she came to one of the fleshy hills stopping at the front of it, from behind a mass of chewed food came sliding down pushing Spitfire down the two lumps of the Soarin’s tongue till it reached the end of his tongue.
From within inthe dome Spitfire peaked over seeing the fleshy flap rise up then down as the lumps of the tongue flattened pushing Spitfire closer to the edge the machine dipped on its side giving Spitfire another view she watched the flap that was the gateway to Soarin’s lungs close shot and give way to a new fleshy tunnel, and then a quick push and Spitfire along with Soarin’s meal traveled down into his esophagus.
Spitfire panicked as beeping rang in her ears she quickly flipped a switch and poked at two buttons as the machine was smothered by globs of food the pressure was beginning to crush the tiny machine, the tank wheels quickly went back up into the machine Spitfire watched in awe as the dome she was sitting inside now sank deep into the machine and metal doors closed shut above the glass dome, the machine grew a new layer of metal pushing away the lumps of meat. Inside Spitfire could hear a series of metal creaking it reminded her of a time she was on a ship, a screen appeared in front of her. It was static at first and soon it showed a single colored image of Soarin’s fleshy tunnel walls squeezing in then out. Pushing her deeper and deeper inside her friend.
The blob traveled down the slippery tunnel till it reached a closed up sphincter as soon as the blob pressed into it, it opened pushing the food down into the pegasus’s stomach. Spitfire felt quakes all around her as the machine free falled into the chamber of Soarin’s stomach, Spitfire waited watching the screen she rushed down till she came crashing into the liquids with a loud splash.
Spitfire pressed a button leaving the screen to switch off Spitfire’s view returned to the dome as it went back up into the center of the metal box the bottom of the machine changed to be more curved small little metal wings popped out on each side and a propeller formed on the backside of the machine becoming a submarine, Spitfire smiled smugly and pushed the controllers up as the machine traveled to the surface giving her a new look at her destination, the gigantic fleshy chamber smoothed in and out the flesh walls were a light pink color dripping with slime and saliva, webs of it could be seen above even from inside the safety of the machine Spitfire could hear the blooming vibrations of Soarin’s heat it made the machine tremble with every beat, she could even hear his lungs breathing in oxygen it sounded like the gales of a hurricane. As much as Spitfire wanted to admire Soarin’s internal workings she had a job to do, she moved the machine along the surface of the green ocean thankfully the acids had no effect on the machine even as the eat away at the food he consumed, as she traveled she spotted a house sized slice of blueberry pie with a bite mark on its top.
She pushed the machine to go fast as she neared the floating mass. She didn’t know how much time she had left, she made the machine go so fast the impact knocked the wind out of her. She quickly pressed the button that opened the hatch of the dome getting out in full panic mode, she took flight looking around at the pie for the pony she had to rescue.
“Dash! Dash! Come on where are you!?!” She roared with a worried tone. “You better still be alive, rookie! I don’t care if you're friends with our new ruler, I'll kick your flank even if you're dead.” He worried and angered roars bounced off the walls of the stomach.
“Um Spitfire…” A raspy feminie voice echoed as the captain turned to see Rainbow Dash unharmed her uniform a bit messy and torn but unharmed.
“You're alive!” Spitfire rushed to the flying mare squeezing her in a tight hug then quickly letting go. “Good job staying alive, Dash.” Spitfire gained back her rough composhier.
The two mares flew back to the machine that brought Spitfire into the stomach of her 2nd in command, Spitfire opened a second hatch allowing Rainbow Dash to fly inside, Spitfire returned to the dome hatch closing both doors keeping the mares safe inside from the dangers of Soarin’s body.
Inside the machine the mares met at a metal table that was a part of the machine’s wall. “Glad your safe Dash.”
“Thanks for coming to rescue me, I appreciate it.”
“It was my fault you got into this, I wouldn’t have never let those eggheads shrinking experiments go this far if it meant you getting swallowed by Soarin.” Spitfire rubbed the back of her mane feeling guilty.
“Ah, I would have found a way out, nothing can stop me, speaking of how are we gonna get out here?”
“Don’t worry this machine’s pretty tough and it’s got magic protection on it, I plan on traveling this bad boy up Soarin’s throat, if I know him he’ll drink up his soda and take a nap giving us some momentum to go up.”
“Well what if he doesn't?” Dash asked, feeling a bit worried.
“Worst case scenario we can just go down further and make a way into his bloodstream then will find a way out through his body.” Spitfire kicked back in the chair propping her back hooves up on the table. “Let’s let the machine relax a bit and just admire the sites.”
Rainbow Dash smirked, rolling her eyes. She walked down the short hall of the machine till she reached the seat that took her up into the dome now giving her a view of Soarin’s stomach from the safety of the dome.
---
Soarin patted his belly happily, licking his lips getting the taste of his meal from each side of his mouth, Soarin gave Shiver a bright smile walking over and giving him a pat on the shoulder.
“Thanks for the meal, kid. And I think I owe you some bits.” Soarin walked to his desk looking in his wallet and pulling out a hoofful of golden bits. Shivers watched his commander walk knowing inside him was his captain and 3rd in command, his eye twitched and began to sweat bullets. Soarin walked up to him holding out the bits to the nervous pegasus. “Here you go. Don’t go spending it all, ok.”
Soarin gave a cheerful smile but something inside came gurgling up a small hotdog smelling burp escaped from his mouth, Soarin burped in Shiver’s face and quickly covered his mouth embarrassed.
“Oops, sorry about that, kid. That was rude of me.” Shiver only stared at Soarin with a shocked expression, the rookie couldn’t take it anymore his body went limp and fainted in front of his commander. “Oh crap! Kid! Kid! You okay?”
The End
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- secret89 · 233k words · 274 8 · 6.6k views
- Nonsanity · 33k words · 408 3 · 8.1k views
- Echo Derp · 49k words · 40 2 · 2.3k views
- Melody Song · 14k words · 174 5 · 3.3k views
- Orangeblossom1212 · 7.9k words · 15 0 · 1.7k views
- arcTangent · 9.1k words · 24 1 · 1.4k views
- ChaoticHarmony · 30k words · 79 8 · 3.9k views
- theNDinspector · 37k words · 76 1 · 1.7k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.067 seconds
Total duration
676 users online
957,439 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Yikes. I want to like this, but there are a ton of spelling and grammatical errors holding this story back for me. Here's just some examples.
In the second sentence of this story, there are three errors alone.
First, you misspelled recruit. Second, I think the word you were going for was "specific", and third, there should be a common after "doing".
In this, not counting the spelling errors, we have the problem being where sentences run on too long. A better version would go something like this:
Next:
There should be a common after "headset".
There should be a common after "this".
This is another block that would need multiple changes to flow better. Something like this:
I want to keep going, but I'm really tired right now. I'll go over more in the morning.
10634626
Ah shoot.
Right. Back to trying to edit this thing.
I'm pretty sure you meant to write "plate" instead of "place" here. Also, this would also need some grammatical clean-up so it'd look like this.
Onto the next paragraph.
I'd put commas after the words, "door" and "command". Also, typically, Wonderbolt is spelled as one word and Soarin's name has an apostrophe at the end of it.
... I'm gonna be honest here, I have no idea what your were trying to say here. All I know is it should end in a period here.
This is an example where some sentences go on too long and should be separated by periods and commas. A better way to do so would be like this:
Next:
Again, this should be its own sentence rather that a part that is continued with a comma. Also, there probably be a comma after "Spitfire's".
It really seems a problem with this is the writer doesn't really know when to use a comma or a period. This causes stuff like overly long sentences when it should be stopped due to the change in subject. Again, a cleaner version of this would be something like this:
And now, onto the next part:
And this seems to be a bit of the reverse issue where we have a whole new sentence starting despite it carrying on directly from the previous one. If you needed this to be a separate sentence, I think a better way to put this would probably be something like, "Shiver and Rainbow Dash would agree that Spitfire and Soarin' aged exceptionally well.".
I need to stop again, but I do plan on coming back to this later.
Rather an abrupt conclusion. Were you intending to write a follow-up?
10688138
Eh kind of just wanted it to be a one-off.