Sweet Remedies

by Ratchetgreen

Dealing With Hate

Sweet Remedies

By Ratchetgreen

Chapter Six: Dealing with Hate

Hatred. An intense feeling of ill will toward another pony. This can lead to actions that may not be in our normal process. But is it possible that one could hate so much, that it could drive you to the unspeakable?

"You caused so much trouble to my friends. You hurt them! You don't deserve forgiveness!" Spike said, his eyes burning with the fire growing within his own body.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness!" The pink earth pony shouted with all her soul.

"Then what are you asking for, huh? what could you possibly want!"

The pink pony stood tall, showing the same ferocity as the dragon standing inches in front of her face.

"A dammed second chance! Another life!"she began to sob "I want my daddy back!" saying that broke the mare. She collapsed, punching the ground in tears.

"How dare you! I told you to give her a chance!" Sweetie Belle shouted, scolding her best friend.

"What did I do? You’re supposed to be on MY side, not hers! Bullies like her never just change!" The drake said with mixed feelings, mainly confused.

"She lost everything after THAT day, her father met his maker on the end of a rope! Her fortune taken away! In other words, she lost all that made her what she was back then. She’s changed!" The white mare said, her eyes welled up in tears.

"I still don't trust her. I can't just believe she changed her ways so quickly" Spike was now more calm. His anger quelled by the compassion of his friend. "Bullies don't make 180 turns. They can never change.”

*** *** ***

All throughout the trail, the stranger and Coal Pyre noticed a large amount of pegasai flying their way. What could possibly be happening?

"Dang pegasai. Always got their heads in them clouds" Coal spoke up, hoping that this would invoke some conversation.

"Eeyup" Coal was not going to give up, the stranger knew this.

"Coal, tell me something: you got any family?" Coal’s eyes brightened up instantly.

"I gots tons uh kin, but they ain't messin’ with this ol coot" Coal gestured for the stranger to sit for this one.

"Way back when i was a young colt, I lived in cloudsdale-"

"-Wait, you're a pegasus? But you don't have wings!" The stranger said, now wanting to hear just how a pegasus can live without wings.

"Ya see these scars here, boy? I had muh wings clipped. Was raised by my granpappy, the only earth pony in our family. He named me, and taught me bout an honest day’s work"

"But what about your parents?" The stranger inquired

"See, like most pegasai, they like their foals to fly. I never liked flying. It's too damned overrated if you ask me" The Stranger looked at Coal, and saw the scars. He was indeed a pegasus. Did other pegasai or unicorns have the same feelings Coal did? As an earth pony, you don't have much magical power as the other two races do.

"I always admired you earth ponies’ simple lives, led by foalks who are always close to their families. I wanted that so badly that when I turned 14, I left for my granpappy's train yard" Coal smiled at his travel partner.

"Trains connected more ponies than mail did, an guess who designed the trains? Earth ponies" Coal said this proudly, as if he was an earth pony.

As an earth pony, life didn't have to be about passing tests or learning spells. You adapted, like nature. You go with the wind and grow with the grass.

"You know, you never told me your name, boy" The old coot said, not wanting to continue.

"Russet. My name is Russet Apple" Coal got what he wanted, so he continued.

"Well Russet, I never got married. I never had any foals. I never even kissed a mare. I gladly gave that up for my wish.”

Authors notes: I'm sorry for the short chapter, but I need a break right now. I'm not all too happy at the moment. Thanks to all the readers who are reading this, your feedback helps me with improvements, but like I said I'm not so very happy right now.

Comments

[TheTimberWolffe]

I'm sorry to hear that you aren't happy, if you're willing to talk about it I'm a blank diary.
Also, great chapter, despite the shortness. Keep it up! (butwithlongerchapters)

[Scribblestick]

I think this is the longest story I've ever reviewed. So, let's get started!

1) Overall, I thought the story had good action and an interesting plot, and I'm definitely interested to see how this all turns out. I like what you've done with Diamond so far in particular, and I hope the themes you've brought up with her continue throughout the story.

2) The characters seem a little underdeveloped, particularly their past. I feel like I was left to guess what they've been up to for the past decade, which made the early chapters confusing. Since Spike hasn't seen any of them in a long time, it would be easy for him to ask what they've been up to so we readers can get a sense of why they're doing what they do.

3) As has been mentioned, there are grammar issues. They didn't totally cripple the story, but they did make some parts hard to follow, particularly the conversations between Coal and Russet. When writing dialogue, each speaker gets his own paragraph. This really helps us readers keep track of who's saying what. Also, you switched to first and second person (I and you instead of he/she/they) in chapter 3, I think.

4) I get why Spike wouldn't trust Diamond, but I thought his aggressiveness was out of character. Developing the characters more might help with this.

Well, that's all for now. Good luck, and keep writing!

[Ratchetgreen]

1230573
Oh my gosh thanks I always am open to suggestion but yeah I guess I could develop them more but I think I fix that, I still got a few chapters before the end and grammar cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-sno.png even with a pre reader I can't win
Any way thanks and I'll try to fine tune this story

[RVB501]

1231510

Hey, I can only do so much to un-scramble the raw text. I'm a busy man!

[Ratchetgreen]

1231789
I know but wow dang to think that it's still a problem means I gotta put my best hoof forward for chapter seven This is my confident face cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-soarsure.png

[Lucky Aces]

*click click* *ZAP* GAH
Well then I'm back and caught up now so time for thoughts on the story (sorry I took so long by the time school gave me the time to read I had over 600 notifications and 110 new story updates so I just got round to reading your story) I'm loving the Eastwood character and can't wait to see how he'll affect the story, I agree with others that the rage seems ooc for spike. I kinda see spike as having more of a cold calm fury (007ish) then angry teenage style anger. I liked the new chapters and hope you get out of the dumps soon

[Ratchetgreen]

Ok chapter 7 coming soon hope to see more people liking the new chapter I worked hard and juggled school

[Ratchetgreen]

1587432
Whahuh what? Dafuq idk even how to respond

[Sea_Swirl]

awww why did you cancel it, it was so good so far

[Franky]

Its a shame this story got canceled