• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 18th, 2014


The selfish desire of humanity causes wars and hatred is born on it, and that it's how my hate for humanity was birth.


A RainbowSpike (SpikeDash) Fanfic, Spike x Rainbow Dash

A kiss changes everything.

Rainbow Dash and Spike (C) Hasbro and Lauren Faust

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 104 )

This! Could go into dark territory very easily. but Spike and Dash? I REALLY do not want to know... :facehoof: Though i still liked it. :pinkiehappy: Without the grammar:ajbemused:

I can honestly say that if it weren't for the bad grammar, bad spelling, and bits of bad writing (of which I cannot blame because I am guilty of it as well) it would've been at least a 4, instead of the 2.5 it is... but it does give me inspiration for my imagination and desire for Spike shippings (that I might make into a fic)

732335 I love dark territory :trixieshiftright:

after reading all the comments above i have to say. this story could be really good. true you need to work on some stuff. but i think you should keep going with this story. i would really like to see how this turns out. just slow down and learn

732479 I work slow and fix before summit the fic.



You, out NOW :pinkiesick:

i thought that was kind of cute when spike froze aww i think they would make a cute couple:rainbowkiss:

>> FelixDawn dude, you can't just hate on people who are giving criticism for fixing your fic, which has a good idea by the way. I'm sorry if you got mad, but... :ajbemused:

Wonderbot? Also Tank's a tortoise.

732690 I not hate them for criticism I only hate negative comments and I not mad and everyone so know that can not help anyone like that, everyone so ask the authors before.

732747 Dude I was trying to help you. Not troll you.

Same here. What reason would I have to troll you? I was only trying to help ya, man.

same as Firefeather I was helping not hating

732722 In what moment I said that?

732797 Uhhh... Like in your past comments. Do you have short term memory or something?

732772 I not remember calling you a troll now if you really want to help me ask me before.

Alright, i'm going to say this one more time then. And if my criticism is deleted once again, then this just shows you don't want to listen to any of our advice.

Your grammar needs a LOT of work. A lot of the sentences are awkward to read and I'm more busy interpreting what you're talking about than paying attention to the story. That's how bad it is.

Your spelling needs work as well. The very first two words show a typo. It's not a good sign for the reader. But it's not just right there, but several other parts of the story as well.

Run on sentences and punctuation. Good lord man. Place these ' things when you need to say "She's" or "He's", something similar to that effect. Lack of periods and commas are apparent too.

I'm not trying to troll you, but I'm trying to help you. You need to understand that.

732740 Thanks I was looking for the species of Tank

732842 Undesrstand this ask me before and if I not want listen to any of our advice is because I not want to you can't force me to do in respent that.

And that is my damn style of writing.


What's your style of writing?

People can have styles, of course. No doubt you have one as well. However, you simply can't abandon basic rules of grammar and spelling for the sake of having a 'style'. All writing needs to follow a basic set of rules in order to be legible, and I'm sorry to say that your work here isn't holding up to that. :fluttercry:

732874 The one you see in the fic.

Sir, not to be trolling but if you are so proud of your work you'll work past criticism and not only accept it, but use it to pin-point flaws and fix them. If you want your work admired, you put all your effort improving it in something as simple as grammar and orthography. Defending it is pretty pointless if you can put your efforts in editing, and I mean real editing.

By the way
Green= verde
Greed= codicia

El mejor consejo que puedo darte es que busques a alguien es que si tu ingles no es de lo mejor, busques a un editor, alguien que hable ingles; o escribas en tu idioma. En fanfiction.net suelen ser más indulgentes, pero por favor, acepta una opinión con humildad en vez de tener actitudes y delirios de grandeza payasescos.

732897 I follow rules only when is necessary.

732907 I fix them yet everyone keep saying the same think also thanks for the "Green" one.

My friend, I won't lie when I say that yes, rules are sometimes meant to be broken. However, disregarding the rules of basic writing is a disregard of the English language itself. Do you really wish to spread ignorance amongst young readers that don't know any better?

Please tell me why exactly we need to ask before helping you? Maybe you should have stated that before flaming us.

Mother of god.

This was my face when i saw the would be shipping.
this was my face when i actually read the story.
You need to improve grammar ,spelling and pacing too.
But its still a story with :rainbowkiss::heart::moustache: shipping so i guess that's some thing.

733019 Ask me if I need help in my grammar and I not flaming anyone :facehoof:

732957 When since that is ignorance and not follow basic writing rules is not going to hurt anyone.

OK lets finish this shit up.
You posted this story on a site in which hundreds and thousands of people can access everyday.
Grammar may not matter to you but it sure hell matters to us.
If you don't want us to give criticism then don't post it.
It may not be sore to your eyes but it sure as hell sore to ours.

733469 No my problem.

I not follow anyone footsteps so not tell me how to fix my spelling and grammar.



I...don't think you know what criticism is.


733794 Uhhmm....FelixDawn..can you be my pre-reader of my fic ?

733952 If you want me to be one PM please.


Yay ! :rainbowkiss:

It has a good but a few grammar stuff

Oh dear. Now now I like the idea of :rainbowkiss: :heart: :moustache: , but this is kinda out of hand. FelixDawn, please tell me you are under eleven? Because otherwise your grammar needs SERIOUS work. :pinkiesad2: Jjust saying... :derpytongue2:

I not trying to start something but why are people so stuck on a few grammar errors in FANFIC I mean really.
Someone is taking time out to write for the enjoyment of other and all folks do is whine.
I am not talking about anyone specifically but I just saying come on can't we do what It says in the brony handbook page.24
Which states LOVE AND F******* TOLERATE this goes for everything people AND fanfics.
Now here is what I think for the story, Love the plot, Love the pairing, grammar was not the best but the content was spot on.
All and all this fic ok in my book and I will be enjoying it.
I know this will make some mad but I will stand by what I said.:moustache:

I believe this is the first RDxSpike story here. Which is somewhat surprising, as RD has had her turn with everyone else in the main cast and Spike has certainly been around the block a few times.

Didn't like the story, but I am rather happy this ship has been written.

734614 My ages not matter.

If you are writing in english, it does.
, <--- You see that?
It's a comma.
You seem to be lacking in them.

I'll be as gentle as possible:

Reading this was akin to feeling a tumor grow in your eyeballs and fully mature while killing you slowly.

Granted this isn't the worst on this site but:

This fic gave me kidney stones.

And you can bet your balls that's more painful than cancer.

736996 And all you going to bitch about spelling just because a stupid comma really?

:rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

Not the spelling, the grammer.
You have good ideas, you really do.
But if you don't use proper grammer, people can't understand what you mean.
Have you thought about getting a pre-reader?
Some one who can fix it up abit so people will like it better?

737049 I use proper grammar and keep saying that I need to fix my grammar or I simple remove the comments I keep saying that I fix it so not come to me saying those stuff and no I not want any pre-reader.

Using normal grammer isn't grammer Nazi.
It's just basic grammer.
Most people are suppost to know it.

737121 I just let you know in case you going to be one of them.

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