Far away from the comforts of civilization, Lord Tirek found himself peeking around the doorway that led into Grogar’s scrying chamber like some child spying upon his parents. The fact that an actual child was beside him and doing the same thing only made him feel more foalish. Yet given what was about to happen, he really didn’t want to miss any of this. So he crouched low and skulked, and tried to ignore Cozy Glow barely being able to stifle her giggles.
Within the scrying chamber, Chrysalis – now covered snout to dock in white fuzz, among myriad other changes since her accidental Reformation several months ago – stared hard at Grogar, working up the courage to speak. When she finally did, Cozy barely held back a snort.
“A lot has happened since I Reformed. I need a vacation,” Chrysalis demanded of an ancient, ornery goat with vastly more power than her. Demanded, like she was entitled, like she could make demands of a being as puissant as Grogar. Cozy tapped her hoof against Tirek’s leg as though trying to keep his attention on what was going to happen, though there was no need as Tirek’s eyes were riveted…
“Fine. Whatever,” Grogar responded.
Tirek’s brow shot up, and Chrysalis herself seemed taken aback. Cozy stopped giggling, instead her mouth dropping open.
“Really?” Chrysalis asked.
“Yes! Looking at you gives me a headache. I could use the break. Just don’t do anything stupid to reveal us.”
Chrysalis shifted, brushing some of her now-voluminous mane behind one ear. “Well…good. I’ll be back in a week or two.”
Cozy finally recovered her senses, and before Tirek could stop her the young pegasus had taken to the air and shot forward and into the scrying chamber. “Wait a minute!” she exclaimed as Tirek hurried after her. “Mister Grogar, if Chrysalis can go on vacation, surely me and Tirek can go too, right? We’ve been extra-special good, after all!”
“No,” Grogar responded without hesitation. He popped some of his neck joints.
“Well why not?” Tirek demanded, throwing his hands wide as he stomped his hooves. “What has Chrysalis done?”
Grogar growled as he looked up to his other two minions. Eldritch light suffused him and yellow-black power bled off from the mighty Father of Monsters. “She was smart enough to be born a changeling!” He pointed a hoof at Tirek. “You’re a red centaur three times the height of a pony and you,” he swung his hoof to Cozy, “have an unmistakable identifying tattoo on your flank!”
Tirek began to object that his idea of vacation hardly included contact with other creatures, but Chrysalis chose that moment to add her own two bits. “Whereas I can look like anyone.” Blue fire washed over her. In a second her Reformed body was replaced by an exact duplicate of Cozy Glow, who flew right up to the real one and pressed her hooves together next to her cheek. “Golly gee-whiz! It’s almost like I’m a master of disguise! Yup-a-rooney!”
Cozy ground her teeth together. “I don’t sound anything like that.”
She sounded exactly like that. But Tirek focused on Grogar as he crossed his arms. “But you sent us to get the Bewitching Bell – ” Grogar growled at that, and Tirek realized his error and raised his hands defensively. “And we failed! But I only mean, you didn’t worry about us being seen then…”
“Because you were going to the middle of nowhere!” Grogar pounded a hoof on the table before him, causing the crystal ball set within it to bounce. He took a moment to calm down before continuing. “If you want to go camping in some forest somewhere, be my guest. But I will not have you exposing yourself, and thus all of us, to those worthless ponies!”
Tirek ran a hand through his beard as he thought. So, Grogar was willing to indulge a camping trip for him? That was good. If he could be gone for a week or two, just as Chrysalis was being permitted, then he could have time to enjoy his freedom in a way he hadn’t been able to in a long time. A thousand years in a cage with nothing for company but monsters gave one a great appreciation for wide open spaces that permitted one to simply roam around freely. Creature contact wasn’t a thing that Tirek craved.
Cozy Glow, meanwhile, had her face screw up, and was grinding her teeth together as she landed on the table. “But what about me?”
Cozy’s ideal vacation probably involved seeing the sights of some major city…and ponies. Lots of ponies, and bending them to her whim. She would absolutely give herself away, and Grogar knew that, and so would command her to remain in the cave…where she would sit and stew in solitude and, after Chrysalis and Tirek got back from their vacations, would be absolutely insufferable.
So Tirek acted quickly. “You could come camping with me,” he suggested. She had not been intolerable during their trip to Mount Everhoof. “I actually know the perfect spot in my homeland, haven’t been there in millennia but I doubt much has changed…”
Tirek felt his words drifting off as he said that. Come to think of it, he did know a great spot to camp and relax within the kingdom of Gar-Centauria…but it occurred to him that he also knew what it was near.
Images flashed in his mind. Memories of two brothers, young and still trusting of each other, looking across a bay at a dark and forbidding, haunted castle. Vowing to each other that one day they would venture inside and find the dark treasure said to be there, at first merely for the adventure, later as they grew older as an attempt to gain power. But they’d never been able to find their way in. And an easier means of obtaining power had presented itself as the older brother had mastered dark magic and set his sights on Equestria, where the younger brother…
Well. That didn’t matter now. Tirek focused instead only on the seed of a plan germinating inside of him. It meant, of course, tossing aside the idea of this being merely a vacation…but perhaps it would be worth it.
Tirek was brought back to the here and now with the sound of Cozy’s grumbling. Grogar slammed a hoof onto the table. “You are going camping with Tirek and you will like it.”
“Y-yes, mighty Grogar!” Cozy stumbled back from Grogar, tail between her legs.
Tirek felt himself grinding his own teeth together at that sight, and at Grogar. Generally speaking Tirek hated Grogar on the basis of not liking the idea of any creature being more powerful than him. Certainly he despised being ordered around, even if Grogar was aiding him in his goal to gain more power. But the way Grogar made demands of the trio…
Chrysalis, meanwhile, had her eyes dart between Tirek and Cozy. She looked unsure for a moment, before hissing out in a low voice, “I’ll bring you two back souvenirs.” When Cozy and Tirek both looked to her, she stomped a hoof petulantly. “Your disappointment tastes like curdled milk! I don’t want to go on vacation with that taste in my mouth, or come back to it after it’s done!” She glanced away from the two. “I hate you.”
“Hate” was a word with a lot of meanings for the former Queen of the Changelings. When she used it in relation to Starlight Glimmer or Twilight Sparkle, it was full of vitriol and anger that Tirek didn’t need to be a changeling to sense. It was genuine. But the hate she loudly claimed she possessed for Tirek and Cozy – and for her former subjects – was ironic. She said hate. She meant something else, even if she herself didn’t know it.
Tirek chuckled, turning around and heading off with his hands folded behind his back. He could hear Cozy Glow start to list out all the souvenirs she wanted, all of them beach-themed. Chrysalis had been grousing about wanting to relax on a beach somewhere for a while now, ever since her Reformation, so Cozy Glow had probably made some assumptions about Chrysalis’ destination.
Tirek’s own, at the moment, was his chambers within Grogar’s lair. Grogar had supplied him with everything he could desire in order to entice obedience and loyalty from him, but those desires had amounted to little more than a bed, a bench and weights for his training, a grammaphone for records to keep him motivated, and a small collection of books. Grogar had apparently grabbed that at random for him since one of them was Daring Do and the Marked Thief of Marapone. Tirek couldn't imagine the ancient Father of Monsters being a fan of the series.
There was also a hanging picture of Tirek at his full power, the level that he had achieved after absorbing the magic of Discord and all the ponies of Equestria. Far from being a mere vanity – though Tirek had to admit that he cut an impressive figure – it was a goal to work towards, a reminder of how much that he had once held, only to have it snatched away from him by Twilight Sparkle and her cheating magic.
The centaur snorted, walking to the middle of his room and sitting down to think. He’d gotten good at that over the course of a thousand years in a cell. He imagined the vacation spot he would tell Grogar to send him to, an oases at the border of the Nether Lands, a great desert within Gar-Centauria. The oasis was large enough to feed a small copse of palm trees, around a hundred acres in size. Two days east would take him to the coast. Midnight Castle itself was on an island of rocks maybe a half-mile offshore; centaurs were not strong swimmers, but he could bring a felled tree from the oasis to help him float over –
“Hey, Tirek!”
Tirek felt himself growling slightly as he pointed at his door, not even bothering to turn around. “That was closed.”
“Uh-huh,” Cozy agreed as she trotted right up to him and smiled one of her too-wide smiles. “But it wasn’t locked, and if we’re gonna be camping buddies then we’ll have a lot to go over! I’ve never really been camping before. Well, except for with you and Chrysalis at Mount Everhoof. Is it going to be cold? Should I bring bug spray? I think Chrysalis threw it all out but I bet I could convince Mister Grogar to get us some.”
Tirek clenched a fist behind his back. “That won’t be necessary.” He glanced around, then used his magic to close his door. Grogar had given no indications that he spied upon his three minions – a foolish mistake – but Tirek saw no reason to take any chances.
“We are not going to be camping,” he whispered.
Cozy stared at Triek a moment, and her smile grew simultaneously devious and yet far more honest. “Ooooh, we’re playing hookie? I’ve never done that before either!” She took to the air, hovering in front of Tirek’s face. “So where are we going then?”
Tirek crossed his arms. “Ancient Centaurian legend speaks of a place called Midnight Castle, ruled over by a powerful sorcerer-king named Tirac.” He held up a palm before Cozy could speak up. “No relation. Tirac ruled from Midnight Castle with an iron fist. He subjugated many tribes of centaurs beneath him. He did it all thanks to an artifact he possessed: the Rainbow of Darkness. But he was eventually defeated and thrown down. It is said that the Rainbow of Darkness still lurks somewhere in the dungeons beneath Midnight Castle.” Tirek growled. “My brother and I often planned to retrieve it for ourselves. That…did not end up happening.”
Cozy rubbed her hooves together. “But we’re gonna get it?”
Tirek nodded. “The Bewitching Bell is proving an intractable artifact.” Several months on since he, Chrysalis, and Cozy had retrieved the Bell from Mount Everhoof – though they had informed Grogar that they had failed in their quest – and yet they had made no progress in discerning the secret of how to use it, or even what it did. “Perhaps if I had access to the library in Canterlot…but I don’t see how that would be possible.”
“Mmn,” Cozy waved a hoof up and down at Tirek. “Grogar had a point, it’s not like you can just blend in like you are now.” She landed, taking in all this new information. Tirek could practically see the gears turning in her head, as she effortlessly switched from doing her best to accept the idea of going camping, to fully embracing the scheme that Tirek was concocting. “So the Rainbow of Darkness is insurance in case the Bell doesn’t work out, huh? That’s great! I’ll go let Chrysalis know – ”
“Wait!” Tirek wrapped magic around his door before Cozy could open it again. She turned to Tirek, confused. Tirek stood and began pacing back and forth, hands behind his back. “Given Chrysalis’ recent change, I have…doubts, about her conviction.”
Cozy’s head tilted to the side. “You think she’d betray us?”
“The old Chrysalis would never have offered to bring us back souvenirs. She is…softening, without her starvation to give her focus. I doubt she would actively plot against us…but if offered an opportunity to return to the changelings, even if not as their queen? I am less sure.” He looked to Cozy pointedly. “I intend to give her every opportunity to remain loyal – she has earned that. But I see no reason to count upon it. Her true loyalty will always be to the changelings, not us.”
Cozy scuffed a hoof on the ground, silent for several long moments. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said, though she suddenly perked up as she once again started rubbing her hooves together, and grinned. “But when we get back, we can surprise her with it, and then all three of us can use it on Grogar!”
“My thoughts exactly,” Tirek grinned himself, having no doubt at all that Chrysalis would love a chance to dispose of the old goat. “And then we can move against our true target: Equestria.”
Cozy giggled as she sat back down. “Gee, I can’t wait until we’re crushing those dumb ponies and every one of those Friendship Students under us!”
Tirek's head titled slightly at that. “But you are a pony,”
That only earned another giggle. “No I’m not. I’m a little monster. Rawr!” Cozy raised her hooves like she was about to leap on prey, prompting a chuckle from Tirek. Then she sat back down, and had a hoof to her chin. “But okay, give me more. If we’re gonna do this we should do it right. Tell me all about Midnight Castle, everything you know! Oh…” she winced, looking at Tirek. “And, don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but we should probably plan out what we’re gonna do if we run into, um…your brother Scorpan.”
Tirek found himself pausing a moment before answering, something he almost wondered at before pushing past it. “I wouldn’t worry about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because Scorpan has been dead for a thousand years.”
My Little Pony
My Little Pony
Ah, ah, ah, ah...
My Little Pony...
I used to wonder what friendship could be
My Little Pony...
Until you all shared its magic with me
Big adventure, tons of fun!
A beautiful heart, faithful and strong!
Sharing kindness - it's an easy feat!
And magic makes it all complete!
You have My Little Ponies...
Do you know you're all my very best friends?
For the millionth time, Rainbow Dash looked at the letter that she had gotten a little over a week ago, and suppressed the urge to let out a totally uncool giggle as she read it.
To my most adoring and loyal fan,
Recently, I’ve been pursuing rumors of an ancient artifact called the Sun Stone, once kept in the care of the legendary Queen Rosedust. The Sun Stone was said to be a brilliant yellow-white jewel that radiated warmth and light, but it was lost over a thousand years ago.
But I think I’ve tracked it down! The Sun Stone appears to have somehow ended up in Saddle Arabia, at an ancient Centaurian ruin called Midnight Castle. Whoever brought it back to Equestria would receive great fame and fortune!
What I wanted to ask was: would you like to join me? You have helped me out on many adventures that you’ve been dragged into. How would you like to join one from the start?
I’ve enclosed a ticket for the R.A.S. Wind Drifter, an airship that travels from Los Pegasus to Saddle Arabia. The journey across the South Luna Ocean to the Saddle Arabian city of Istanbull takes about a week, and then we can head across the desert to Midnight Castle.
Looking forward to seeing you, my friend!
— Daring Do
A new and exotic land! A daring expedition to an ancient ruin! Fortune and glory! Dash had been invited to go on a Daring Do adventure!
It had been a heck of a project to arrange, though, not helped by the fact that according to the ticket, the R.A.S. Wind Drifter was going to leave Los Pegasus in only a few days after she’d gotten the letter.
First, Dash had needed to make sure that there were no Wonderbolts shows or training regimes scheduled for the next three weeks, since no matter how fun this was going to be, she couldn’t leave her teammates hanging. Fortunately there had been none.
But second she’d needed to get time off from the Friendship School, or rather, to find a good substitute teacher to cover for her. Dash had been proactive on that front, arranging for Big MacIntosh to take over and fill her horseshoes first, and then going to Twilight.
Who had totally failed to be happy about it at first.
“Come on, Twi!” Dash had exclaimed. “Look, it’s only a few weeks! It’s not my fault that the next Daring Do book staring yours truly is going to happen all the way on the other side of the world!”
Twilight had been sitting behind her desk in her office, rubbing her temples with both hooves. “First, I don’t think it’s a Daring Do book unless it stars Daring Do. Second, that’s not the point! I don’t mind you taking a few weeks’ vacation, it’s the fact that you’re asking to begin that vacation tomorrow!”
“Well the letter only arrived today!” Dash was in the air, of course, and it was a simple matter to fly over the desk so she could hover right above Twilight and look down at her. “Come on! How is this any different than if the Cutie Map started lighting up my flank? What if it sent me to…”
She’d faded out when she noticed the pained look on Twilight’s face, and caught up pretty quickly – enough that she’d moved a little and then landed on the ground, tail between her legs, and scuffed a hoof on the floor beneath her. The Cutie Map hadn’t lit up, hadn’t called on any of them, ever since King Sombra had come back from the dead and destroyed the Tree of Harmony. The Tree had supposedly been reborn into the crystal treehouse that lay within the Everfree Forest…but so far, nothing.
“Sorry,” Dash finally mumbled.
Twilight shook her head. “It’s okay,” She looked to Dash. “And…you’re right. The Cutie Map used to call us away at a moment’s notice, and you all still have other things you need to take care of in your lives. The school was supposed to be set up to allow for that. When Applejack and Fluttershy went to the kirins, they were gone just as suddenly and for nearly as long.”
“Yeah, but this isn’t anything like that. It’s probably just going to be me and Daring in some dusty old castle. This isn’t ‘Friendship Problem’ important.”
“No, it’s not,” Twilight agreed, but also gotten out of her chair and put a hoof on Dash’s withers. “But it’s important to you. And I’d be a pretty lousy friend if I tried to stop you.” Twilight smiled. “So! A week there and back and a week in Saddle Arabia. You already have a substitute picked out? Big Mac?”
Dash's wings fluttered as her spirits lifted alongside her body. “Yup! And I laid out all my lesson plans, just like I knew you’d want.” Dash produced a small packet of papers. “Just a bunch of trust exercises. And actual exercises. Applejack said they’re between harvests at the farm so Big Mac can spare the time, and Big Mac already said okay.”
Twilight had nodded as she looked over the papers. “Okay, then – everything looks good! I’ll officially approve your vacation time. And say hi to Daring Do for me!” She’d glanced around, then leaned in and whispered, “and if you can get a look at any manuscripts for her next book…”
Rainbow Dash had laughed then, and needed to spend a few moments once more suppressing a laugh now where she lay on her bunk. Daring Do had pulled out all the stops for her – once she’d gotten to Los Pegasus (in record time, no less), she’d boarded the R.A.S. Wind Drifter to find that she’d had a private first-class cabin all to herself for the transoceanic journey, with even her own bathroom.
And the ship herself? Every bit as cool as Dash had expected. The Wind Drifter was one of the newest airships in Equestria’s growing fleet of skyliners, and among the largest. Her balloon was over eight hundred feet long, and she could carry a hundred passengers and crew for the long voyage across the South Luna Ocean. Her gondola contained a dining room, lounge, small theater, and gift shop. The front quarter of the gondola was made entirely out of magically-reinforced glass for the braver ground-bound passengers, while on the dorsal side of the balloon was a landing strip for pegasi who wanted to get out and stretch their wings. Wind Drifter wasn’t faster than a pegasus who pushed herself – she certainly wasn’t as fast as Dash could be – but no pegasus could fly for days on end without stopping, and definitely not while carrying luggage.
So Dash had been able to pass the time eating, working out, enjoying the sight of the vast, sparkling ocean in every direction, brilliant blue in the sunlight or sparkling under moon-and-starlight, and getting to know her fellow passengers. Most of them were pretty upper-crust, of course, but any initial standoffishness bled away once Dash let slip the fact that she was, well, Rainbow Dash: Wonderbolt, Hero of Equestria, and Fastest Pony Alive. And when she’d had enough of that, she could retreat to her cabin to sleep, or read the Daring Do books she’d brought with her.
The airship journey had been like a vacation all on of its own, leaving her plenty rested and ready to go on an adventure!
Dash’s thoughts were interrupted when the intercom came on. “Attention all passengers,” the voice said into the cabin, “this is your captain speaking…we are about two hours out from Istanbull. Please use this time to collect your belongings and luggage and ensure you are ready to disembark. On behalf of the crew, we hope you have enjoyed flying aboard the R.A.S. Wind Drifter as much as we’ve enjoyed having you.”
Dash glanced around her cabin, but she’d packed up her saddlebags last night, so she had nothing to worry about on that front. Getting out of her bunk and stretching, she put away the letter Daring Do had sent her, and then left her cabin, hoping to get one more round of the really good pancakes that the Wind Drifter served for breakfast before disembarking.
“Rainbow Dash!”
Dash glanced behind her in the narrow airship corridor, and felt herself grinning widely. “Glory!” Dash returned, taking to the air so she could fly backwards and not block the halls for anypony who wanted to pass through, rather than walk side-by-side with . “How’s it hangin’?”
Glory Pose was purple unicorn with a white mane and a cutie mark of a shooting star, whom Dash had met on her first night on the airship, a wealthy heiress heading to Saddle Arabia on holiday. She reminded Dash of Rarity, a little bit, although much less high-strung.
“Oh, same-old same-old,” Glory said as she continued trotting forward and to the stairs that led down to the gondola. “I’m looking forward to getting off this ship, truth be told, and getting to really stretch my legs.” She narrowed her eyes, though her grin didn’t drop as the two descended. “I am very jealous of pegasi.”
Dash smirked herself. “Yeah, being able to step outside when we’re a couple thousand feet in the air is just one of the many perks of being me.” She pointed at the horn atop Glory's head. “Though I’ve always thought it’d be pretty cool to have one of those, too.”
The two reached the gondola level, allowing Dash to land without getting in anypony’s way. Glory gave her a friendly flank-bump once she landed to make sure she knew there were no actual hard feelings, and the two made their way over to the dining room. No sooner had they entered than a pair of squeals went up, and Dash found herself under assault by a pair of earth pony foals, Rough and Tumble.
“Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Finish telling us about the dragon you beat up!” Rough demanded.
“No! Tell us more about the first time you did a sonic rainboom!” Tumble insisted, pushing past her twin brother.
“Tell us about the time you beat up a hundred changelings!” Rough shoved his sister away.
She pushed him back behind her. “You said something about a mirror leading to a weird world full of monkeys! Tell us about that!”
Dash grimaced, and moreso when she saw that Rough and Tumble’s parents were passed out at their table, exhausted from dealing with their rambunctious foals. They’d be no help.
Had Dash really brought up the mirror portal? She was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to…then again a week on an airship with nothing to do but socialize had maybe loosened her lips a little bit. She wanted the ponies to appreciate the fact that they weren’t just traveling, but had been traveling in style.
Glory smirked at her. “I’ll get us a table while you figure a way out of this,” she teased, and headed off. Dash looked down, and saw the two foals staring back at her expectantly and with eyes full of wonder, occasionally shoving each other to stand closer to Dash or push the other back.
Well, far be it from Dash to disappoint an audience. “Okay, I didn’t exactly beat up a hundred changelings by myself, I had friends to help me…”
Dash spent the next fifteen minutes entertaining the foals with stories that were only slightly embellished. Just a little bit. Applejack wasn’t here to take offense, and it wasn’t like she downplayed the cool stuff had friends had accomplished. She just put the emphasis where her fans wanted it: on Rainbow Dash.
Eventually Rough and Tumble’s parents shook off their stupor and managed to get the two back to their table to finish their breakfasts, by which point Dash was looking forwards to hers. Glory had already ordered for the two of them, stacks of pancakes that arrived at almost the same time she did.
“So I don’t think you’ve said if you’re here alone, or meeting anypony,” Glory said as she started digging into her breakfast. She had only a pair of pancakes, with strawberries on the side. “Surely you won’t be seeing the wonders of Saddle Arabia all by yourself?”
“Oh, no, I’m meeting a friend,” Dash responded. Her own plate of pancakes was stacked high, with dollops of butter and syrup that would be unhealthy if not for her metabolism being as lightning-fast as the rest of her. Pinkie Pie would be proud if she were here. “We’ve really been looking forward to seeing the Nether Lands.”
It was a cover-story that Dash was proud of, one she’d concocted on her first night aboard the airship when she’d happened to spot a brochure advertising tours of the easternmost parts of the Nether Lands, the vast desert that dominated central and western Saddle Arabia, full of old centaurian and gargoyle ruins.
Glory chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then swallowed. “I suppose I can see the appeal. I’m not surprised you’d prefer something more adventurous than the sights of Istanbull.” She smiled. “Still, I’ve been to Istanbull twice before and yet it hasn’t even begun to get tiring. You and your friend must at least spend some time in the Grand Bazaar. Anything and everything can be found there for the right price!”
Dash hid her lack of desire to tour some old marketplace with practiced ease. Maybe it was impressive to ponies who liked shopping, but Dash was an in-and-out sort of girl. Besides, Daring had probably already gotten them all the supplies they’d need.
“I might check it out,” Dash finally said, deciding to at least be polite to her airship buddy.
“I don’t think I’ve caught the name of your friend.” Glory looked to Dash expectantly.
Dash fidgeted somewhat, disguising her hesitation with a big mouthful of pancake. She really wanted to keep Daring Do’s secret, of course, and the thought of blabbing out that she knew the supposedly fictitious adventurer-archaeologist never even crossed her mind. But with Glory looking at her expectantly and it just being so cool a thing to tell ponies…
“Okay, but you got to keep it secret,” Dash said, going for a natural compromise. She leaned across the table, and Glory leaned in as well as Dash continued in a low whisper. “My friend is very private…but you’ve probably heard of her. A.K. Yearling.”
Glory’s eyes widened slightly, and she tittered to herself as she drew back. “The author? I see…scouting locations for her next book, is she?”
“Yup,” Dash lied easily. She’d never been the bearer of the Element of Honesty, and in any event it wasn’t even really a lie when she thought about it. “But, seriously, don’t tell anypony, okay?”
“Not a soul,” Glory agreed, drawing a line across her lips with her hooves.
Cozy Glow left Tirek’s room with her head spinning, but in a good way. Tirek had told her everything he knew about Midnight Castle, though unfortunately it wasn’t much, just that it was a tall spire of black rock jutting out of the ocean, its dungeons extending who-knew-how-far beneath the waves and the earth. The whole thing was sealed by magic, but Tirek was confident that he now possessed the strength necessary to break through it. There was, likewise, only scant information to work on with regards to the Rainbow of Darkness. It was powerful, yes…but that was all that Tirek knew.
It was basically nothing to go on…but that was okay. As Cozy learned more, she’d figure out how best to use everything to her advantage. And Tirek’s, of course, and –
“What were you two plotting in there?”
Cozy let out an eep, looking up and seeing white fur and an orange mantle and blue eyes. Chrysalis may no longer have been quite as intimidating in appearance now that she was Reformed, but she was still tall, still strong, and still capable of withering glares.
“Nothing!” Cozy lied, to throw off the scent. Then she smiled. “Just stuff about what me and Tirek are gonna get up to camping!” Cozy took to the air, getting a few feet of distance from Chrysalis and getting to eye-level with the changeling queen.
Chrysalis eyed Cozy. Her tongue flicked out, tasting the air. “And what about that required a locked door?” One eye narrowed, and her voice dropped low, though there was just a hint of anger behind it. “We’re supposed to be allies.”
Dealing with Chrysalis was super difficult. Any changeling, really, since they could sense emotions, but Chrysalis had more practice with it that any other. Still, there were tricks. It wasn’t like she was a literal lie detector. “Deception” wasn’t an emotion, it was the smugness or nervousness that came with it that a changeling could smell or taste.
So the trick to lying to a changeling was to not lie. It was to be completely sincere. “Look, Chrysalis...we were not discussing betraying you, if that’s what you’re worried about! I promise.” She crossed her hooves. “But at the same time we don’t have to tell you everything. We don’t ask you about everything you get up to.” She flew to Chrysalis’ side and knocked a hoof on one elytron. “Like the stick you’ve got under here! What’s up with that?”
Chrysalis let out a hiss as she spun away from Cozy, elytra and wings snapping open – and grabbing the purple stick that she valued so much in both her blue magic and her hooves. “This is none of your business!”
Cozy raised her hooves. “Okay! But you see my point, right?” She landed again, to look small and nonthreatening. “This is gonna be an extra-special camping trip with just me and Tirek! He’s my oldest friend!” She glanced to the side, rubbing her chin as she giggled. “In more ways than one! I mean, unless you’re older, I dunno. But my point is that since this is gonna be a camping trip with just me and Tirek, we’re gonna get up to all sorts of secret stuff! We’re gonna have a secret hoof-shake, and come up with secret codes, and maybe go on a secret adventure — ”
“Alright! Alright, fine,” Chrysalis interrupted. She stowed her special purple stick beneath one elytron again, and rolled her eyes. “Have your foalish little secrets.”
“Awww, don’t be jealous, Chrysalis!” Cozy insisted with a smile and letting the genuine smugness at having misdirected the queen shine through. “Maybe we can go on a vacation together sometime! Or maybe once we take over Equestria, we could arrange a spa day! Just us girls. And Tirek won’t be invited then!”
Chrysalis scoffed. “As if I’ll have any time for spa days with how much I’ll have to fix my changelings from what Thorax and Starlight Glimmer did to them…” she spat the pony’s name like it was a vile-tasting curse. For Chrysalis, it was.
Cozy could agree with the sentiment, even if her own personal vendetta was directed against different creatures. Six of them, to be specific: a dumb fish-bird princess, a green boring earth pony, a loud hairy wrecking ball, a stupid book bug, a smelly fire-spitting lizard, and a stupid griffon who thought he was so cool with his laid-back attitude and his dumb huge wings and his pointy claws that probably meant that he tore up everything he touched and…
The pegasus filly shook her head, bringing herself back into focus. She didn’t have time right now to dwell on how much she hated those six former classmates of her, especially Gallus. She refocused on Chrysalis, who was stewing and mumbling to herself and had her hooves held like she was holding something between them – and squeezing. Something, Cozy imagined, roughly the size of Starlight Glimmer’s head.
She really did need a vacation. But what if she went off to that resort town Cozy knew she was planning to go to – Teatime or something – and all that time relaxing, mixed with the fact that she Reformed, actually did what Tirek was worried it would do? What if Chrysalis was wrong and her accidental Reformation really did change her and make her go back to the changelings Hive?
On the one hoof, more of Equestria for Cozy and Tirek to split. But on the other, Cozy was friends with Chrysalis! Well, sort of. It was really difficult to get Chrysalis to do what Cozy wanted all the time like a friend was supposed to. But Chrysalis did bake really good cookies for the three of them sometimes, and had been teaching Cozy how to pounce, a skill she’d insisted was important. She’d also given Cozy great tips for manipulating others by playing on their emotions, and helped her learn how to focus her goals and plans a little more, be more meticulous in developing an endgame.
“Say,” Cozy said, interrupting Chrysalis’ fantasy, “what if you came to Gar-Centauria with us? Instead of going to Tia-whatever. It could be just like when we went camping near Mount Everhoof!”
Chrysalis lowered her hooves, glancing at Cozy. “I thought it was a secret, you-and-Tirek only trip,”
“I mean, it doesn’t have to be.” Cozy put on one of her sweeter smiles. “I’m sure Tirek would love to have you along!” That might have been the truth.
Chrysalis looked like she was actually considering it for a few moments, rubbing a hoof against her opposite leg…and then she scowled as she looked down at her hoof and leg, the white fuzz that covered her body now. “No. No, I…I need alone time. I need to get away from everything. Everything. I just want to relax on a beach and not worry or be distracted by anything.” She looked to Cozy. “Besides, going to a sun-scorched desert full of ruins is not my idea of a vacation.”
Cozy had begun to try and make another argument, but paused. “Wait, sun-scorched? Full of ruins? I thought I’d be packing like when we went to Mount Everhoof…”
Chrysalis laughed. “You don’t know where Gar-Centauria is, do you? Or rather, was? It’s a fallen empire in the Nether Lands – the deserts of western Saddle Arabia.”
The young pegasus shifted. “Tirek didn’t mention anything about the weather! Is it really that hot?”
“No, of course not.” Chrysalis let a grin spread across her face before she finally added “it’s hotter. Cook-an-egg-on-a-rock hot. Dead-in-a-day-without-water hot.”
Cozy swallowed, but her mouth was dry. “Oh. Um…I…guess I shouldn’t pack my jacket, then.”
Chrysalis‘ grin grew. “No.”
“Or hat.”
The changeling queen’s grin was wider than a pony’s could ever be. “Definitely not – ”
The door to Tirek’s room opened, and the centaur stuck his head out. “You will pack both, Cozy Glow,” he said. “At night the temperature plummets to freezing, and I will not have you catching a cold and forcing me to carry you!”
Cozy’s eyes widened. She looked between Tirek, who seemed quite cross, and Chrysalis, who was clutching her sides and laughing. She settled on glaring at Chrysalis. “Did you just try to make me freeze?!”
“Oh, please,” Chrysalis got out between laughs, “Tirek would never let that happen!” She looked to Tirek. “And you. How long have you been lurking at your door, listening to us?”
Tirek’s eyes widened. “I – that is…” he fumbled for a few more moments, before growling. “I can lurk at any door I please!”
“Mm-hmmm…” Chrysalis licked her lips, swallowed, and then spun around. “Well! I’m off to the kitchen to make some snacks for my trip. I suppose I’ll make enough to tide you two over as well.”
Cozy and Tirek watched her go, then glanced at each other. Cozy gestured after Chrysalis with both hooves, “Softening?” She demanded.
“Softening,” Tirek answered, “not soft.”
“Fair enough. I’ll start packing. Geeze, I have to pack for hot weather and cold weather, that’s gross…”
The rest of Rainbow Dash’s breakfast passed in light conversation. Dash greeted a few of the other ponies she’d met during the airship voyage, saying good-byes and good-lucks for whatever they were going to get up to in Saddle Arabia. Doing so passed enough time that by the time she was done, the Wind Drifter was making its final approach to Istanbull’s airship mooring towers. The city itself was spread broadly across the flat lands, hugging the coastline but sprawling across the dry, grassy fields that surrounded it. The airship had several of its windows open now that they were only a few hundred feet above the ground, letting the hot, dry air of Saddle Arabia into the gondola.
It occurred to Rainbow Dash only as she was disembarking and getting her passport stamped that she hadn’t actually arranged with Daring Do as to where they would meet. Trotting out into the airport’s lobby didn’t help, as she saw no sign of Daring Do – little surprise – or the adventurer’s A.K. Yearling disguise. Dash took to hovering in the air, hoping to be spotted, but after a few minutes of waiting there was still nothing.
“…huh,” she grunted, landing and looking around, wondering what to do. Daring could have been caught up for any number of reasons, but Dash was sure that she wouldn’t be forgotten about or deliberately left hanging. Nevertheless, that meant that all that was left to her was to wait around. Ugh.
“Your friend hasn’t arrived?” Glory Pose’s voice asked. She approached Dash with her horn lit up in blue, carrying several bags of luggage in her telekinesis, while a tall, burly, dark teal earth pony stallion with an orange mane was carrying several more for her.
Dash felt a pang of jealousy at the fact that Glory hadn’t needed to wait for her meetup. “Yeah, I’m sure she just got held up in…traffic, or something. She’ll be here!”
“I must say I am surprised, we ran just a bit late in getting here, so she had plenty of time.” Glory said. She was joined by another stallion, this one a brown earth pony, also carrying some of her luggage. She was definitely reminding Rainbow Dash of Rarity now with so many bags…although come to think of it the two stallions looked familiar as well.
“Well!” Glory disrupted Dash’s train of thought with her exclamation. “We wouldn’t want to leave you alone in a strange city. I and my companions would be more than happy to wait with you.” Dash brightened at that as Glory set out, Dash and the stallions following, for some of the chairs that were set up for visitors to the airport, trotting over to the rearmost row of them, away from everypony else.
“Thanks,” Dash said, “though I don’t want to hold up your vacation. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of shopping to do, or whatever.”
“Oh, nonsense,” Glory waved a hoof as though shooing away Dash's concerns. “It’s a bit of a working vacation, truth be told, so I’m not that eager to start it. And I won’t be going home ‘til the work’s done anyway.” She sat down, and Dash did as well. “Besides, I have to admit that your…friendship has me intrigued. I don’t want to play down your own talents, but you can’t just drop…the name you dropped…and not expect me to want details.”
Dash swallowed. “W-well, there’s not much to tell,” she tried. “My friend and I met…” Actually, come to think of it, that wasn’t a story that Dash could tell, was it? “She was going through a rough patch in her life. I helped her out.”
“Heh. Rough patch,” one of the stallions spoke up, the shorter of the two. “Good one.”
Dash looked at him, a brown pony wearing a jacket. She squinted a little. “Hey…you look kind of familiar. Have we met?”
The stallion’s eyes widened. “Uh…I don’t think so.”
Dash might never have carried the Element of Honesty, but she wasn’t oblivious. But where had she seen this stallion before?
“Oh…shoot,” Glory said. Dash looked, and saw that she’d set down and opened up one of her cases of luggage, and was digging through the clothes within it, careful not to disturb or wrinkle anything. “I knew that I should have brought some of my own ponies with me, but he just had to insist on his old buddies…ah, here we go.”
Glory stood up straight, holding up, of all things, a length of rope. She hoofed it over to the brown stallion. “Here you are.” She got back to digging through her luggage. “Dash, dear, I don’t want you to take any of this personally, though I’m sure you will.”
Alarm bells had started going off in Dash’s head, of course. She took to the air, or started to – but the other stallion, the large teal earth pony, reached out and put a hoof on her withers before she could get more than an inch off the ground and put her back down. He looked familiar too, come to think of it…not that Dash was, instead she started struggling, trying to get out of the pony’s grip. But even though Dash was no slouch when it came to physicality, the earth pony was, well, an earth pony, and a big one at that.
Dash probably could have struggled out of the grip anyway, but then the other earth pony reached into his coat and pulled out a long, thin knife and had it at Dash’s throat with impressive speed.
Dash stopped her struggle at the feel of edged metal against her jugular. She glared at Glory. “Okay, what the heck?” She leaned a little away from the knife, but the stallion followed her. “What are you doing?”
Glory let out a little whicker of delight as she found the next thing she was looking for, a folded brown canvas bag, that – distressingly – looked big enough to fit around a pony’s head.
“Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?” Glory smirked as she eyed the knife that was at Dash’s throat. “I would have thought it was obvious. I’m taking you hostage, darling.”
“Why?” Dash pressed up with all her might, and managed to get four hooves under her, at least, in spite of tall, teal, and burly’s best efforts. “Who are you?”
“Exactly who I said I was, darling, I assure you,” Glory said, smiling. “Glory Pose, of the Fillydelphia Poses. I’m just a bit more than that. I’m the financier of this little expedition that was put together by – ”
“Me!”
Dash’s eyes grew wide at the voice from behind her. She knew that voice. Turning, she found herself looking at a black-maned, gray-coated stallion in a white shirt, his eyes green and his cutie mark a golden skull.
“Doctor Caballeron!”
Also I believe I mentioned at some point that I have something of a zeppelin fetish? The Wind Drifter is actually not that much different the Hindenburg, although with a few fantastic elements. Needless to say I originally had like three or four paragraphs on her and airships in general and how they’re used in Equestria and why planes will never phase them out entirely, but managed to scale back.
"Oh okay, that happens sometimes. When does Daring Do show up?'
"We lied, she's not."
"You son of a bitch I will kill you "
Huh. Didn't realize that "Chrysalis Reforms Accidentally" had a sequel. I shall be keeping a eye on this one.
And if this does end up ignoring/erasing "Daring Doubt", then I will not complain in the slightest
And Here. We. Go.
I really like the villain trio's dynamic. There is some fondness, some intelligence and respect for one another, but refracted through self-interest and dislike of Grogar. Keeps things interesting.
I also like how you write Rainbow Dash. She boisterous and loves talking about her adventures but she's personable and friendly and not oblivious. Also, I always imagined her being good with kids.
Can't wait to see where this one goes!
You mean this like that Chrysalis's emotional filters cannot just beep yes or no but they can help to determine if a person is lying? Like if Chrysalis is talking with some person who put on a poker face but she can feel the anxiety and stress from that person, then she can say that person is probably lying but never for sure?
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I wouldn't mind seeing that in a story comment or author's note.
I don't know how or why, but some reason, whenever Grogar is "on screen" in these stories, this is the theme music that plays in my head.
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I mean, they're certainly more viable in this setting, where you can presumably lower the density of air with an enchantment or two instead of using highly explosive gas.
Will Tirac turn out to be Tirek's ancestor in this tale?
Likewise
Oh. Well.
Not Coltstantinople.
She'd be well within her rights as a school administrator, but this isn't the time or place for me to air my grievances about the School of Friendship.
I would love to see you write more EqG fics. You do some very neat stuff with A Trip Through the Mirror.
Aww, Momalis. You know, relatively speaking. Pairs nicely with the paternal Tirek. He's certainly more supportive than his father ever was.
And yeah, Dash really does need to be more careful with those loose lips. This will get terribly complicated. Should be fun!
Starting off real strong here. Love the villain trio as always. And we’ve already got the doc on the scene. I’m guessing we’ll see Ahuizotl at some point, given the disclaimer about Daring Doubt, so definitely looking forward to that.
I have eagerly been waiting for this ever since Trouble in Tiatarta and I must say, its already looking to be just as good as that one. I am ready to be relentlessly tortured with anticipation of the next chapter after reading every update!
Its lines like these that make you realize just how bad Tirek had it.
Damn, you know how to write Cozy in the most adorable way when needed.
I can imagine something like this happening to Dash quite often. Scootaloo can't be here only fangirl.
I love the way you write changelings and other non-pony races.
Aww, Chrysalis is like a second teacher to Cozy. I bet she's such a good influence. Obviously far better then her former ones.
Daddy Tirek is hillarious. I wonder how the heroes would react to it.
pogchamp
i'm sure that everyone's beat me to the punch on everything i want to say but
the things i liked: villain trio banter, rainbow dash voice, scorpan being dead being the perfect place to end that scene
really excited for this
also do you travel a lot? because judging from this and Tiatarta you have a way of inducing wanderlust in me that i don't usually ever have
And we're off to a swinging start!
This was a interesting beginning ,looks like Cozy sure likes a certain Griffin even if she's hiding/or don't know .
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They're still around today using Helium, just not as big because the demand isn't there (people either do cruise ships or airplanes).
And featured! Thanks to everyone!
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Heh, yeah. I don't know why but I really like the idea of Cozy having a precocious crush on Gallus. Though to be clear I do not ship them; that is, I think it's something she'll grow out of, and Gallus himself will never reciprocate it. But it just helps add a little bit of depth to Cozy's character, and she needs all the help she can get.
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I've been to Ireland more times than I can count, but beyond that, no, I don't do much traveling, on account of being ass-poor. But if I was rich and famous I'd travel a ton. I actually have a tremendous desire to do a Great Train Journey, circumnavigating the world by train (and plane and boat where necessary).
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This is definitely the story where at least one of the Mane-6 might get to see the Tirek-Cozy relationship.
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You know me, I'm a huge stickler for details and worldbuilding...and even I say that when it comes to the School of Friendship, it's best if you just lie back and think of England. Anything else invites madness.
Argh, that reminds me, I still have a copy of Oversaturation that I got at the last Bronycon that I keep meaning to read. I'd been putting off reading it because the basic premise was pretty close to how I wanted to do a Lunaverse Equestria Girls and I didn't want to read Oversaturation and accidentally plagiarize it, but I don't think I'm going to do the Lunaverse EqG after all (because dear God do I not have the time with everything else I've piled onto my plate), so there's no reason to avoid Oversaturation at this point.
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There's a few generations between the two.
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Basically my thoughts on the viability of airships are due to the pegasus cloud-cities like Los Pegasus or Cloudsdale. It can't be easy to land a plane on a cloud without accompanying magic (which I have to imagine is costly), but it's pretty easy to just float a balloon, no magic required. The cloud-cities have no natural resources of their own, or viable means of food production, so everything has to be imported to them from the ground.
As a result, even if ponies do like humans and start to favor fast travel over comfortable travel (airships are superior to planes in terms of fuel efficiency, cargo capacity, range, creature comforts, cost to build, cost to operate, safety, literally everything except speed), airships will still be preferred as a means of cargo transport up to the cloud cities.
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I would have thought it would be more the SatAM theme since so far I've played Grogar pretty straight.
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Yes, but in this universe Chrysalis is a bit more than 1,000 years old. She's had a lot of practice, so you have to be a master of lying to slip one on by her, or she has to be very distracted, and in either case a complete fabrication will almost certainly never fly. Which is why Cozy not only didn't outright lie to Chrysalis, but actually told the complete truth...just, in a creative way. If Chrysalis was really intent on digging she'd probably still be able to get it, but Cozy was able to deflect Chrysalis from investigating too close.
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Yeah, the Trio are fun to write. Note that I'm leaning a bit on something that I established in Queen Chrysalis Reforms (Accidentally) - that since Chrysalis went through a major crisis, the Trio were too distracted to choose to abandon friendship. Instead, Cozy and Tirek helped Chrysalis through what was, for her, a traumatic event.
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Yup! It's expanded into a whole series at this point, as you can see. Hope you enjoy reading!
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Thanks for the comments!
Goood beginning. Hmm, I see Cozy Glow's actually a pony, judging by the author notes and the other stories. A legit shame. I was hoping it'd be revealed she was the offspring of windigoes or something.
Legit, have I ever mentioned how much I loathe Daring Do being 'real'? I mean really, it's dumb and I legit hated that.
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It's probably bleed over from the Doomsdayverse, honestly (even though Grogar has never appeared there).
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Is plausible that with 1000 years of experience can Chrysalis tell lie from a truth anytime. But now I'm confused. If it is about what Chrysalis can feel and classified the emotions then it should matter less how I twisted the meaning of my word but more how I strongly express my feelings, no?
To me, it seems that in Cozy case it was less about how creative she was in selection of words, and more how she was really calm when saying it.
Sorry, if I dig it in too much.
i loved trouble in tatairia,
This will be a blast as well.
and the story after that even more!
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Does this mean that Equestria Girls characters won't be appearing in the Lunaverse?
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No, just that I don't think I'll be going to the human world. But, like, I still want Sunset Shimmer as a pony to show up.
A very promising start! Also digging the snazzy new profile pic.
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I never particularly liked that aspect of Daring Do when they first made her real, but at least we've gotten some mileage out of the running gag that almost no one in mainland Equestria believes she's real.
However, I'm far less fond of their attempt to pass off her antagonism with Caballeron and Ahuizotl as mere misunderstandings. That episode left a sour taste in my mouth.
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All credit for the new avatar goes to Emeral Bookwise.
And yeah, I’m not a huge fan of Daring being “real” either, or at least modern (I think I’d be okay with her having been a real person in the “past” who had a legend built around her a la Davey Crocket), but as long as she is real she does open up a bunch of interesting story avenues.
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I have JUST the story for YOU!
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That's the reasonable way of taking it.
I cannot wait for Tirek to sit Cozy down and warn her about boys like that smooth-talking Gallus.
That's funny, I thought Cozy was the baker in this gang of siblings. (Frenemies)
Yes, yes you would.
I am so glad that you didn't go the route Marks For Effort went during this scene. Twilight actually feels tolerable, and the fact that she ultimately relents, and then talks Dash out of psyching herself out of the trip, in many ways makes her more supportive to her friends; in a way she so rarely was in show (at least during the later seasons).
Also congrats on making Cozy cute and intelligent. Now I feel compelled to keep reading.
Midnight Castle? That's from the first "My Little Pony" story. I wonder if Megan was mentioned in this tale.
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I could write up a big rant about the episode... but I don't think it'd be proper here, or even polite to you. Sadly I stopped doing episode reviews after Magical Mystery Cure. I will, however, say my biggest gripe about it.
The episode's first half was setting up a pitch-perfect lesson of, "The people who create your favorite media are people, too. They have lives outside of this and that should be respected." And it's a lesson the kids do need. But then we learn Daring Do is real and it just takes a sharp left into crazy town. It's two episodes bolted together and they both suffer massively for it. And it pisses me off the genuinely good moral lesson gets forgotten.
Anyway, sorry. Had to get that a bit off my chest. Carry on, my Wayward Soooooon!
I swear to god if this story ends with no actual treasure and someone says "Maybe the real treasure is the friends we made along the way" I'm gonna flip a table.
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I mean...now I gotta.
Minor spoilers, but, I promise that both the Rainbow of Darkness and the Sun Stone are real, although perhaps also more complex than you’d think. Like the Ark of the Covenant, or the Sankara Stones, or the Holy Grail.
Let's hope this zeppelin is a bit less flammable.
Yep, I can see Dash getting punked out like that.
Road trip!
Remember my comment about saidisms on Queen Chrysalis Reforms (Accidentally)? Well, they're still there. Except that this time, they're spread over one 7500+ words chapter rather than over seven chapters in a 3000~ words fic.
A quick check showed me it actually was the same for A Day in Canterlot and I simply never noticed. I imagine seeing saidisms concentrated as they were in the first story made me more perceptive to them.
Listing them all would take something like seventy quotes—I counted because I wasn't sure 'literally over one hundred' would actually be an exaggeration—so I won't. But I'll point out that the flashback scene was particularly egregious, what with there being a "had" before every saidism. Since it was a flashback.
There's a lot of redundancy in them, too. There's absolutely no need to write 'the character asked' when the previous sentence ended with a question mark. Same for "Grogar responded." Or "“Y-yes, mighty Grogar!” Cozy stuttered," since the stutter is written in.
Perhaps that's the actual problem with these saidisms; they're unnecessary. They don't contribute anything to the story. They're just there.
Contrast with "“No,” Grogar responded without hesitation." There's actually a point to the saidism, and it isn't "responded." It's "without hesitation."
Just adding some description would help in most cases—although I'd still be in favor of removing redundant saidisms rather than sprinkling in descriptions to make them 'necessary.'
For example, however 'telly' this might sound: "“Really?” Chrysalis asked incredulously."
That specific one actually wouldn't be necessary, since she's described to 'seem taken aback' in the previous paragraph. So, perhaps the point of this "Chrysalis asked" was to show it was she who spoke rather than Tirek or Cozy stating their surprise aloud?
That's where you swap the telly alternative for some show. 'Chrysalis blinked/tilted her head/picked up her jaw/etc.' Or whatever Tirek would be able to see, since the introduction is clearly written from his point of view.
Moving on from the technical to the... probably less technical, certainly more subjective, and certainly ironic, because I'll talk about scene-setting. And you've given me the perfect quote to segue in from;
That's a good thing, because I can't be the only one who skipped past Rainbow's entire gushing over the Wind Drifter. And not because that paragraph literally was the longest in the chapter.
But subjective and ironic, as I said. I don't care for zeppelins unless they're used to make one hell of an entrance—Tempest's got nothing on the Prydwen—so I ignored that bit. That doesn't make it bad, just something I'm not interested in.
I could argue that it still wasn't a necessary inclusion, and that what you "managed to scale back" would actually have contributed more to the world-building than merely describing this specific airship's specs... but, again, ironic. I waxed enough poetic with Rarity in my latest story to polish Canterlot Castle ten times over.
Some more irony... I found the zeppelin part of the scene-setting to drag on, because it did its job too well. The character-setting part of it, to be more accurate.
Rainbow is quickly established to have exactly zero willpower when it comes to keeping herself from sharing the coolest stories of the land. Case in point: the earth pony (and gender-mixed) versions of Snips and Snails.
(Incidentally, I hope they won't appear again, because I consider 'the children are in danger!' to be one of the cheapest seats to play to narratively. But since they were not only described, but named... I'm expecting that seat to be played to hard.)
So, Rainbow can't keep her mouth shut. And she's having an adventure with Daring Do. Who, in all logic, doesn't want her cover blown and, against all logic, expects Rainbow to keep quiet. Sheesh, what could possibly happen?
So yeah; I found every scene with Rainbow to drag on, because I knew what was going to happen the moment she met anyone aboard the Wind Drifter instead of the story opting for a fast-forward to Istanbull. Especially a conveniently unknown factor, such as an original character who just so happens to buddy up with Rainbow to the point of being included in all her scenes.
...And then it turns out Daring Do never even wrote the letter in the first place and I got bait-and-switch'D hard. Well played, well played.
Sure, it could also be that Daring Do is so used to working alone she never thought about telling Rainbow where to meet or—much more likely—she's just so much in love with drama that she planned to surprise her with a sudden entrance, but that requires Glory Pose financing an entirely different expedition, at the exact same time as Daring Do did, while just happening to be on the same airship, with either a bird waiting in her cabin to inform Caballeron of this juicy development or this same Caballeron spending so much time with Daring Do he's also a sucker for dramatic timing.
Which, uh, actually works too. She could just be a talented opportunist saddled with the strange timing that comes from anything Daring Do. Hm.
At this point, I'm expecting this double bluff to be followed by a double bait; Daring Do has accepted that Rainbow is a magnet and/or a canary for her foes, so while Glory and Caballeron are certain they're using her as a hostage, Daring is actually using her to lure them out/make them show their hand/slow them down/make them trigger all the traps before she swoops in to claim the prize for once/keep all of these idiots out of her mane.
I liked the justification here about something that already happened in Daring Done; Rainbow is still a pegasus as opposed to an earth pony, so she's certainly outmuscled by three of these when they don't give her the opportunity to fly away like Caballeron so graciously did in that episode.
And then one of them puts a knife to her throat to put the boot in. Rainbow's got an excuse, this time.
Speaking of 'yeah, saw it coming...' Scorpan is going to show up, isn't he? That specific line was already tempting fate as it was, but serving as a bookend to the introduction? Like hell they 'shouldn't worry about that.'
But I have been described as paranoid. And I've just proven how 'good' that instinct actually was, to boot. We'll see whether the Sun Stone and the Rainbow of Darkness turn out to be one and the same as I expect as well.
And that's another transition. The other side of the coin, Tirek and the other two.
Because yes, as interesting as you can make Cozy and Chrysalis, I don't really care for them. And this is a good moment to mention I've never watched anything My Little Pony before G4, so I guess I'll be a control group of sorts about all the references to G1.
I don't care for Cozy's crush on Gallus either. If further references to it mean referring to the others... well, I did like her contempt for them, although her actual insults didn't impress me.
But I imagine that fits her being a child. Speaking of fitting; "her smile grew simultaneously devious and yet far more honest." Great line. Not quite as much a favorite as the 'she smiled an evil smile, which was the only kind of smile she knew' from some story I've read years ago, but still pretty good. And pretty telling.
One more line I liked: "“Softening,” Tirek answered. “Not soft.”" Oh, nuances and exact words, I love you so.
Still on Tirek: "I intend to give her every opportunity to remain loyal – she has earned that." Good (evil overlord) boss Tirek, who'd have thought?
Really, he'll be the reason I keep reading this—although I do expect Glory Pose to surprise me—along with the story delving into the lore of centaurs as surely as he'll delve into the depths of Midnight Castle.
To finish, I'll admit I was sorely disappointed that, when Cozy went and started babbling about 'all the sorts of secret stuff they're gonna get up to,' Chrysalis didn't put her hoof on Tirek's shoulder and say "I'm so, so sorry..." But that'd have been out of character, wouldn't it?
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Right! I went through and substantially cut back on the "saidisms", and I'll make sure to keep a better eye out for them from this point forward. I tried to only keep the ones that I felt were necessary.
The crush on Gallus that I've given Cozy isn't something that's likely to come up too many more times in this fic, since Gallus isn't in it; I can't give an exact count but I can only think of one or two more times where it might be relevant at the moment.
It's something I gave to her as a means of expanding her character from the gaping void that the show itself left us with - but at the same time I am trying to keep it filtered through the fact that she's a little psychopath with an extremely warped worldview. Also...Cozy is going to be one of the three perspective characters in this fic, alongside Dash and Tirek. The "camera" will always be on one of the three, so...if you really don't care for Cozy that much, this might turn into a slog. I do intend to do my best to make her interesting, though.
Hmm. I do love me some G1 callbacks.
Well, that's one way to handle the divergent G1/G4 Tireks and also account for spelling. Must be a popular centaur name.
Okay then. That's something.
Istanbull was Coltstantinople
Now it's Istanbull, not Coltstantinople
Been a long time gone, oh Coltstantinople...
Hmm. G1 Glory with reversed colors, then?
Uh...
So! Some nice interactions for the terrible trio, the usual stubborn refusal to admit to themselves that perhaps they might possibly like each other, and a taste of the adventure to come. Seeing the Daring Do and villains' day out plots collide headfirst into each other should be fun.
And now there's the usual post-binge wait for new updates. I've actually had the rest of your stuff on the huge I'll-get-to-it-later pile I never get around to working on, but with three months of quarantine looking me in the face this might be as good a time as any to do something about that.
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Corrected the mistake even as you were reading it, funnily enough.
Yup!
Also apparently "Tirac" is the canonical spelling of the G1 character. The original Rescue at Midnight Castle had no credits, but the MLP canon bible plus multiple VHS covers give the spelling as "Tirac". It definitely works here, allowing me to keep the name of the original master of Midnight Castle without it being confusing when put alongside Tirek.
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Thanks for taking criticism so well. Sure, I feel more saidisms should have been removed, but that we have different definitions of 'only what's necessary' is absolutely irrelevant here. You're looking out for them, that's the important thing.
If this turns into a slog, I don't think it'll be because of Cozy. I don't care much for Chrysalis either and I still adored Bok's Dumb Enough to Work. The common point being that they were written entertainingly.
Yes, she's only the gravy to Tirek here, but Daring Do and Caballeron are also only the gravy to Rainbow; who was the other reason this story caught my interest in the first place. I liked how you wrote her, even though I forgot to mention it before.
In fact, strip the cast down to just she and Tirek as they venture into Midnight Castle, whether individually until they meet up or stuck together from the start and hating every moment of it, and I'd have been all over the story faster than a parrot on a cracker.
And since when has that stopped anycreature? With necromancy implicitly canonized by the existence of Grogar, and being said directly before a cut to the main theme, the chances of Scorpan not appearing pretty much round up to zero. (Look, he was at least a historical personage and, again, necromancer. He's almost certainly out there somewhere, and will not be happy to learn of his impersonator)
Hey, at least you don't have a nudity taboo bulking up the former.
"I'm a blank cardboard cutout brought to life by horrific naked monkey demons from another dimension!"
Tirek blinked, "Why does that apparently explain so much?"
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I think it's a combination of both. For example, if Cozy tried to convince Chrysalis that it was, say, Tirek who ate all the cookies she made for dessert, spoiling his dinner, then even if Cozy Glow kept her emotions appropriate to the lie she was trying to tell, it wouldn't work if Chrysalis could detect inconsistencies in her story. Contrariwise, if Tirek was trying to convince Chrysalis that it was Cozy Glow who broke the plates by roughhousing, no matter how consistent and logical his story was, it wouldn't work if Chrysalis could detect guilt or remorse.
"But Chrysalis did bake really good cookies for the three of them sometimes, and had been teaching Cozy how to pounce, a skill she’d insisted was important."
Chryssy is Mufasa confirmed.
I've reread this and the comics several times, and only now have I finally noticed that the Sun Stone is featured in an adventure which is described, but not seen, by the Mane 6 in the background of the third story of the comics!
It's also a thing from G1, which I assume is the actual thought process for this story, but it's still some neat overlap considering these stories use the comic lore.