• Member Since 27th Feb, 2020
  • offline last seen Sep 18th, 2023

Eternal Requiem

Now, and at the hour of our love

Comments ( 10 )

I wonder if they have beer on the moon.

I always love a wholesome shipfic.

Man, evil bitch Rarity is kinda hot. Just wish the rest of the fic wasn’t so... Simple I guess

They do, it’s called blue moon, and it sucks

Yeah, the story could have used more Larry Czonka.

Sorry, it was a bit of an in-joke. See, there is this cult classic film called "The Final Sacrifice" about a weedy teenaged boy and a be-mulleted alcoholic drifter in Alberta who run afoul of a cult of guys in ski masks and tank tops who are bent upon world domination. Words can't do it justice. Just know that the hero is named Zap Rowsdower.

Bro that sounds awesome

Oh baby, Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world!
He comes to save the world in a broken truck.
With a stinky jacket on his back.
He couldn't save this movie, which really sucked!
But at least we didn't have to see him play, uh, h-hackey sack...

Sorry, I panicked.

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Pretty good job selling Rarity’s absolute devotion, though I did keep wondering how she got to that point from her past as the Rarity we know.
-The crowd that greeted her was no large. -- typo.
-I really thought you'd play up the death more than that. It just kind of happened, and then it was over.
-For a lot of the fic, it plays coy with telling the reader what's going to happen at the end, which doesn't really work because it's subverted by the story's description and tags.
-Having Rarity be the only one who can see Nightmare masturbating is a nice touch.
-Goes to an interesting level of sort-of-consensual-but-not-really rape and killing.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 80/100
Allure: 85/100
Enticement: 70/100
Immersion: 90/100
Prose Quality: 89/100
Total Score: 414/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

Wow. This was just a spectacular story, but I feel it's more than that.

From the first few words, you capture the reader's attention and waste no time in setting up the world breathlessly yet gently. You were incredibly precise with introducing Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and the direction of the story, but more than that, set about almost instantly to progressing it. It really resonates with Rarity's utter, unyielding devotion. Her life and the narration that follows her, serve only to showcase her devotion to her queen.

Really, it felt like I was reading two fics at once, and both of them melded together masterfully! It's a story about that devotion and admiration, while also being a fantastically executed snuff fic. I saw some complain that the death scene was too abrupt, but I outright disagree. As I said, this is a story about Rarity giving herself to Nightmare Moon, and we don't need to see her prolonged suffering, we only need to see her give up her body and her spirit. Though, they always belonged to her queen, and were simply being returned.

I wish I had more to say, but really it'd just be me going line by line and fawning over its immaculate execution. You did beyond wonderfully with this piece!

Login or register to comment