Page generated in 0.052 seconds
Total duration
723 users online
912,179 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
FINALLY!!! At least a God Of Justice is siding with Humanity and call out Silvanus on his Bullhshit "Loopholes" of the law. And Not only this WEED God is STILL attacking and killing Innocent People and Brave Soldiers of Humanity. He also plan to ATTACK FRICKIN Equestria, Celestia, Luna, Main Six, and the rest of the Ponies. As well as destroying the Changelings chance of having love as a Bonus??!!
I'm sorry Author. But, I CAN'T TAKE THIS WEED GODS DICKISH AND EVIL BULLSHIT ANYMORE!!!!!!
Either the Higher Goes of this "WH40K Inspired" Universe or even the MLP Universe "Gods" do something. Like Celestia's and Luna's parents like Faust for example to BEAT and KILL Silvanus Ass!!!! Otherwise I summon the Doom Slayer, Master Chief, and Kratos, to help Lanius The Executioner defend the Human Kingdom/Empire. And let them use the BFG 10000 and a Super Mech, the Sword Of Olympics, and a Covenant Super Carrier to Overkilling Silvanus Stupid Ass!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own these images I'm showing:
cdn.gamer-network.net/2020/usgamer/Doom-Eternal-BFG-10000.jpg
i.pinimg.com/originals/df/9d/2d/df9d2d06961e9c901693c51fb4db7b00.png
static.wikia.nocookie.net/godofwar/images/b/b1/Blade_of_olympus_render.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110619150745
cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/010/360/437/large/jared-harris-dossc.jpg?1524009842
P.S. HOW are there even "Spirits" in the Ever free Forest or even "Demigods/Gods" to the MLP Equestria Universe anyway? There NOT like your WH40K Inspired Universe???!!! I thought Gerhardt was overreacting by thinking the Timber wolves are "Spirits" for some reason? Why are Spirits, Demigods, Normal and Higher Gods are even in the MLP Universe anyway???!!!
I kinda get Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and later Twilight "might" be "Demigods". ( Which I DON'T believe!!! Because they could have easily One Shot Every Villain with their OP Powers in Canon, or even make the Friendship Is Magic Laser Overpowered. The Alicorns are just NOT that OP if you think about it. They just got Luckily with the "Magic Of Friendship". And the MLP Villain's make Typical Mistakes not to completely mind control them as obedient Servants/Soldiers/Slaves. Or even finish them off by killing them! Or Dodge the " Friendship Laser" and Destroy the Elements or kill one of them?!)
And Discord is a God/Spirit Of Chaos. Then theirs Cosmos and Eris in the Comics. And don't forget the Tree Of Harmony. But other Spirits and Gods. What??!!
Totally making GlaDOs in human form.
10607144
Okay, first, while there may be some vague similarities, this universe isn't actually Warhammer inspired. It's just that I'm writing about a technomancer and his world happens to be in constant war so the comparison to Warhammer can be made.
Second, they exist because this version of the MLP universe is very similar to Gerhardt’s universe. It's not exactly the same and I'll get to those differences in future chapters, but they're similar enough.
Also, I've already addressed how the Princesses are demigods but weren't able to oneshot everything in the show. The ponies didn't realize that they had to exercise their magic like a muscle to maintain peak magical fitness, thus their magic effectively atrophied as a result. The princesses were about as strong as normal mages should be despite their magic being atrophied and the villains managed to become as powerful as normal mages through other means. So now that the princesses are aware that magical fitness is a thing and Gerhardt provided them with a book detailing exercises for them to conduct, they are rapidly becoming significantly stronger. Also, keep in mind, in MLP alicorns are usually made not born, Flurry Heart being the only cannon exception to this rule, so niether of Celestia and Luna’s biological parents necessarily have to be a god in order for them to have become demigods.
As for spirits, there is already precedent for spirits to exist in MLP. Discord and the Spirit of Harmony, for example. They are conceptual beings like the spirits from Gerhardt’s world. Thus spirits exist in MLP, thus it's possible for more spirits to exist then just Discord or the Spirit of Harmony. Thus in this story other spirits do exist. There is a slight difference between spirits from MLP and spirits from Gerhardt’s universe, but I'll be discussing that difference at some point later on in the story.
Also, the timberwolves themselves aren't spirits, they're constructs made by spirits. I mean, how do you think a creature made of wood formed? It certainly wasn't through standard evolution I can guarantee that.
10607179
Thanks for telling me this. But did you read and react on how I CAN'T take Silvanus Evil BS against Gerhardt, Humanity, the Ponies, Changelings and other Creatures of Equestria.
And want Lanius The Executioner, including the Doom Slayer, Master Chief, Kratos, and even Faust if she is in this Story. To use OP Weapons, A Giant Mech., and A Giant Super Carrier to Overkilling Silvanus Stupid Ass!
10607185
I read it, and that's why I liked your comment, I found it absolutely hilarious! Though I'm sorry to say that I won't be turning this into a crossover let alone a multi-crossover of different characters coming to Gerhardt’s universe just to kick Silvanus' ass. Hilarious though it would be, it just wouldn't make any sense for the actual story and it would render the entire conflict null and void. Though I'll definitely consider including a short non-cannon joke chapter where something like that happens.
I wonder how long it would take Silvanus to piss off a bigger God-fish and having his cheeks clapped so hard Gerhard would hear it?
Did Gears remember to get a replacement crystal for his eye?
10607527
Nope. With everything else that was going on at the time it sort of slipped his mind. He actually remembered a day later while he was working on studying the crystals that King Sombra had made and was very frustrated by this fact. I would have mentioned it if he had gotten one. So he's still stuck with the annoying green eye for now.
10607926
What part is childish? I legitimately would like to know so that I can improve in the future.
Ok so I'm confused about something here and it is mainly about the portals, with what Gerhardt is saying teleporting is faster and more efficient but why then does Celestia ask him to make a portal for her when if I'm remembering correctly his lab is in Ponyville. The way she asks him makes it seem like she knows teleporting is more efficient and probably has an idea of how much magic it would take to do so even if only a vague one. So why would she after seeing him make a portal to canterlot and making a plan that has him go back to his lab and then come and fight Sombra for a while? I understand she forgot she got a lot more powerful but my first thought would probably have us getting into an argument about how long it would take to get to his lab, since you know with what he has already done and what I'm asking him to do during that plan my thoughts would be he should have as much mana as he can and should not waste it.
I'm not saying she wouldn't have Gerhardt warning her about forgetting her power increase just that I find it kind of odd that she wanted him to use more magic energy when what could have happened is something kind of like this.
Celestia, Shining and Gerhardt start making a plan to deal with Sombra.
Gerhardt gives the idea of going to his lab and making something to restrain Sombra
Celestia disagrees stating it would take to much time to take get back while saving as much of his magic as possible
Gerhardt looks at her oddly and just tells her to make the portals it's not like the plan has her doing any fighting so she doesn't need to save any.
Celestia says she forgot how much stronger she is.
Gerhardt gives his explanation of how that is bad.
I think I got my point across just ask me if something seems unclear, I'm not entirely done with the chapter so forgive me if I'm wrong here it just struck me as odd even though I know it is something small.
10608451
I'll be perfectly honest, you're absolutely right. Reading it again, it doesn't make much sense when you really think about it... Oops... I think I may be an idiot...
I'll try to find a way to rewrite that part in a way that makes more sense before I upload the next chapter. Sorry about that. :/
This story is wonderful! It is definitely worth keeping an eye on her and hoping the author does not abandon her.
10608591
Really it's not that big a problem, with the amount you write even though the quality is pretty high it is inevitable that some problems with appear.
"the survival of humanity by any means necessary in a world where peace is practically nonexistent"
The description is a bit off.
10609988
How? That's actually an accurate description. Peace is practically nonexistent in his world, so his job as a military leader was to ensure humanity's survival by any means necessary. Typically threats are neutralized through the use of violence because... it's the military. That's their job. To kill threats. So since his world is filled to the brim with threats that are constantly trying to exterminate humanity or even all life in general in a few cases the military is constantly killing them in return, so peace is a very rare occurrence.
Pacifism doesn't always work in real life and it sure as hell doesn't work at all in his world.
10610088
Understood. So I suppose I should add the gore tag. I'll do that now.
10610059
My bad, I misunderstood a section of it, thinking the "Peace is nonexistent" referred to Equestria, which threw me off.
10610116
It's all good. Misunderstandings happen. :)
Now, to touch on the story itself.
So far, the world-building is excellent, it establishes the characters own world, or at least the broad strokes of it enough that we can fill in the gaps where needed, and then has him constantly compare and contrast with the new world he finds himself in, met with proof that his understanding of how things 'should' be is inherently flawed. It does still leave a bunch out in the open, but I figure that's going to be solved by his eventual experiments whenever he gets a free moment beyond work, adventure and FRIENDSHIP!
The cuts to the world as it was left are excellent, and provide a deep dislike of the Nature Goddess who is the one at fault for the whole thing, meaning the buildup to sweet, sweet revenge is all the sweeter. You know you're doing something right if you're making the readers feel something, instead of nothing.
I am hopeful to see how things go, but I do wonder how much involved he'll be in the mane 6s shenanigans. Perhaps outside of them, he'll have his own adventures out in places the show never touched on, leading him to various places beyond Ponyville, however reluctant he may be to go on those adventures.
The formatting itself aswell, is excellent, as I haven't gotten lost once so far over which lines of dialogue belong to which characters in any scene, making it a pleasant, easy read.
Overall, good job wordsmith! You've got an excellent premise!
P.S: All Hail The Omnissiah!
10610126
Thank you! I'm very glad you think so highly of my story!
Though, uh... Just to clarify, Silvanus is a nature god, not a goddess... He's a guy.
Actually I was planning on making it a goddess instead of a god in a few of the earlier versions of the story, but that version got scrapped for some reason that I honestly can't remember. Something to do with a technology goddess or something that I planned to include in the story who also got scrapped after I posted the prologue of this version because I decided my original plans for her were sorta dumb. Regardless if I remember correctly the female version of Silvanus' name would have either been "Natura" or "Animula" or something to that effect. I sort of have different plans for the name "Natura" now though.
10610132
No it's not. Souls do exist. She has just never seen any evidence of souls like Gerhardt has and he's not about to show her necromancy. So she's sort of like an atheist in that regard. I thought it would fit her character given that she's the super sciencey type.
Also, liches do have souls. They're just particularly powerful undead necromancers specially crafted through Caedes' experiments after all. He was the first lich. To lack a soul is to not exist. If your soul is destroyed, your very existence is destroyed. You are your soul. You can't lack a soul and still be a living or even an unliving being. Well... You can but you'd effectively be a mindless vegetable, just like plants.
Got some questions about this chapter, while the idea of not using a Deity of Technology isn't possible, maybe in some far future in the story a deity of machines/technology may be born due to Gerhardt's actions, I mean he made the first sentient golem and will build the second one sometime, this could be a starting point for the God/Goddess of Machines to be born.
Also, I've been wondering, what other types of magic - other than technomancy, biomancy, and necromancy - exist? And who or what are the Greater Gods, are there a certain number and what do they represent? And in general what other deities other than the two we know so far exist?
I'm also curious if there are laws for other beings from different worlds to interfere with each others universes, like I Silvanus allowed to manipulate the nature spirits in the Everfree? And how far does 'deities can't kill mortals' law in Gerheardt's world extend to other universes - does it only count in his world or all known universes?
10611152
I suppose it might be possible for a god of machines to be born this way. After all I was considering having Gerhardt give the golem he's building all the different features of all three types of ponies, essentially making it an artificial alicorn. So if he did that it’s possible he would be building a demigod. I've also considered having him upgrade the golem over time to include all of those traits, making it become a demigod later on. I haven't really decided if I'm going to go through with this idea yet but it's a possibility.
Also it’s not that it's impossible for there to be a god of technology. There can be a god of pretty much anything. It's just that unless people want there to be one, I would prefer not to include any in this story as I don't want it feeling like a bad rip off of Warhammer 40k.
Well, other then those three types there is combat and war magic, curses, alchemy, illusion magic, blood magic or sanguimancy, ritualistic magic which can apply to basically any of the other forms of magic, geomancy, pyromancy, hydromancy, space magic such as teleportation and portals, gravity magic though that's really just an extension of space magic, nature magic, chaotic magic, and quite a few others.
To a more limited extent there is dimensional magic (and I mean actual literal spacial dimensions like V,W,X,Y,Z axis not dimensons as in other realms), chronomancy, contract magic (but only fae, spirits, and divine beings can use that), and reality warping magic (but only average and greater gods can use that).
The greater gods are the oldest and most powerful of the gods in Gerhardt’s universe. They are able to alter the entire universe and the laws of physics as they see fit and could potentially even crate other universes though doing so would create more greater gods who would then have total dominion over said universe so they very rarely do so. They are not the gods of any specific thing like the gods below them, as they represent literally everything. There are approximately twelve of them in Gerhardt’s universe.
As for other gods there is another teir in between greater and lesser gods, but they're just called the gods of whatever thing they are the gods of without any sort of prefix. Specifically, however, there is Deimos who started the war of survival 20,000 years ago. Otherwise, there's a lot of gods and I mean a lot. Most manage different super clusters, galaxies, solar systems, or specific planets. For Gerhardt’s planet I would imagine there would at least be several hundred gods of different things. There would be some overlap and redundancies between the gods that managed his planet so there's multiple gods of pretty much every thing there can be a god of. So Lanius isn't the only lesser god of justice and Silvanus isn't the only lesser god of nature.
There are laws against messing with other universes in Gerhardt’s universe, thus the reason why Silvanus was trying to be subtle about what he was doing so he wouldn't get caught doing it. Other universes have different laws determined by the greater god or gods that rule them, and normal gods can make up their own rules for the section of space they manage as long as they don't contradict the laws of the gods that are above them. So depending on the laws of a particular universe the gods that rule it may or may not be allowed to harm mortals.
Some universes are absolute paradises that makes the realm of the Spirits of Good in Gerhardt’s universe look like the worst of Hells by comparison, others make the worst tortures that could possibly be concocted by the Greater Spirit of Evil from Gerhardt’s universe look like absolute paradise by comparison. It all depends on the gods that rule them.
10611159
So basically, if I'm understanding this right, you're suggesting that he could build and sell artificial pets like the one he made for Fluttershy. Right? If so, yeah, you're right, I don't see him doing that because he would be too paranoid that they might be abused by their owners. They are actual living beings with actual souls after all, but because they're artificial some individuals might not treat them that way.
As for Scootaloo’s wings, possible but unlikely. After all, pegasus magic is biological in nature thus Scootaloo’s issue is more then just having wings that are too small, it's also an issue with her magoc. That means while it might be possible to do something like that it would be a lot easier and cheaper to either completely replace the wings or to repair them with biomancy. Also, even with her wings fixed she could still propel herself really fast on her scooter. In fact she could probably propel herself even faster due to having stronger wings. Also, uh... Spoilers but that issue has already been solved in the later chapters.
Awsome ideas though! I honestly never considered either of these things until you mentioned them!
:)
Edit: I just realized that I accidentally posted this in chapter 8... I really need to stop using the chapter selection screen to reply to comments and instead actually respond to them in the chapter they were posted in...
10611366
That brings up another note, did every bad thing occurred in one year or roughly a thousand or so years ago, like whenever some great evil is said to return we're given 'A thousand years ago...' shtick, like for goodness sakes give us specifics, what's this a thousand years ago BS!
If every terrible things happened within that one year, that means it occurred just right after Equestria was founded - talk about a terrible aftermath to the creation of a nation.
A few things:
You use then instead of than, and sometimes to instead of too.
You use a lot of run-on sentences. I think. English isn't my first language, so don't quote me on that, but your dialogue sentences are long. It helps to read it out loud after you wrote it, to see if it feels natural. When you pause in the middle of a sentence, whether to take a breath or for dramatic effect, that's where you put a comma. Exceptions can be made for Pinkie Pie, because she is unbound by the concepts of commas and breathing, and for Gerhardt, because he literally (probably) doesn't have lungs. He doesn't need to breathe to speak. Another exception can be made for when a character is rambling, ceaselessly spewing one word after another in a seemingly endless, desperate tirade.
In your Author's Note at the bottom;
Also, if Scootaloo's wings got bigger, I assume they gained mass, and that mass must've come from somewhere. If you could suddenly make your arms twice as big as they are currently in the span of fifteen minutes, you would probably lose muscle mass from the rest of your body. Like muscle atrophy, I think.
If I were in Gerhardt's place, I would have opted to split the procedure up into smaller treatments over the course of several weeks, if not months. Growing costs energy, lots of it. So, unless he was somehow supplying her with the energy she would need to grow so quickly with biomancy, Scootaloo would need A LOT of food. And rest.
Come to think of it, growth actually requires more than just energy, it requires materials. The stuff meat, bones, cartilage, tendons, etc. are made of. If he didn't supply her body with new materials to build that extra mass, then those materials would have to come out of the rest of her body. The bigger her wings, the higher the material cost. If her wings are now significantly bigger, she would have lost significant mass throughout the rest of her body.
I'm not an expert though, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm also not entirely sure if I am using all my English words and metaphors correctly.
10612281
Thank you! Constructive criticism like this really helps! And yeah, I realize I use run on sentences a lot. It's a very bad habit and I'm trying to work on it. Though I had no idea about the error with my authors notes, so I'll have to go back and fix that. I'll also try to work on using "then" and "than" as well as "to" and "too" properly.
Also, you're absolutely right, Gerhardt doesn't have lungs. He doesn't have any organs except for his brain. He doesn't really need them.
As for Scootaloo’s wings, I would assume that it was a mixture of both using her own body mass and supplementing it quite heavily with arcane energy. After all, matter is just solidified energy, thus why it turns back into energy after coming in contact with antimatter. Arcane energy would be even easier to convert into matter then normal energy given the fact that it is magic. So while she would have been a bit hungry and a bit tired from the procedure, it's not like it would be too terribly taxing on her body with the way that Gerhardt repaired her wings. Remember, the humans had thousands of years to advance both their technology as well as their magic.
It doesn't violate the laws of conservation of matter and energy so much as it works around them by converting energy into matter. That's actually entirely possible in real life and is how the matter in our universe formed after the big bang.
10612338
I'm happy to help!
10611327
when I first came up with the idea for the living toys it was more like the thought of being an enchantment that remains active through the use of changeling magic specifically passively absorbing ambient love and love directed at the toy which of course would cause the enchantment to stop working if an owner only saw the living pet as a moving toy which would mean the toy would go dormant and basically not experience neglect and of course if the toy were to go to a child then the child who would cherish the toy would provide the enchantment the love it needs to reactivate. Of course in your universe they would actually have souls rather than just being a highly advanced enchantment on a plush toy
10612644
Ah, I see. That makes sense. You're right, they would have souls so if they stopped being loved and ran out of energy then that would be the equivalent of death for them. So while that might work as a failsafe to ensure they wouldn't be abused in a lot of cases, it would be a rather morbid one.
He means gullible and least likely to ever actively try to use it
So what is the current progress of A.I in human kingdom.
10770444
They aren't allowed to make sentient ones, but it is obviously possible.
Really, Sunbutt? Can he really be said to have a horn if it will never work again because the ring can’t be removed without taking the horn with it? It may as well have been removed.
Of course, the advantage of doing it this way is nopony will look at him and wince, seeing the stump of a busted horn, and feel too much sympathy for him.
I find myself wondering how Gerhardt will react to Discord. Since Discord doesn’t kill or maim but just plays pranks, obnoxious though they might sometimes be, I’d be amused if he just shrugs Discord off as “a minor god of pranks who is technically harmless and isn’t being a malicious git like Silvanus” or something.
Could be an amusing start to a friendship!
Anyhoo, back to reading.
Gerdhammer: P0K
The newer, (probably) less dark edition you didn’t know you needed!
Emphasis on probably. Not sure how dark it’ll get, though I do love the idea of all the commenters using warhammer memes on the story, until the memes are no longer relevant.