Summoning Cthulhu
Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!
Now before I get started with today’s episode, I want to clarify that it’s going to be a tad different than what most of you are used to seeing on this vlog. I will of course still be trying something that I’ve never tried before, as is the whole point of this vlog, but in addition to that part of the purpose of this particular episode is to serve as a public service announcement to the ponies of Equestria…and any other creatures from other lands that may be watching.
Last I checked this vlog seems to be gaining quite a following in the Changeling Kingdom.
So as you’ve most likely heard, there’s an old urban legend that’s been floating around as of late about a book called the Necronomicon. The legend goes that the Necronomicon contains many dark and ancient spells that can do things like raise an army of darkness or summon an archaic deity. The most notable of these deities being a Great Old One named Cthulhu, who is more-or-less the cause of this legend’s revival.
That’s why in today’s episode I’m going to try…summoning Cthulhu!
Why is it I’m going to try and summon Cthulhu, you may ask? Well like I said, it’s to provide a very important public service announcement to everypony. And that PSA is:
THIS KIND OF STUFF IS NOTHING BUT HOKUM!
That’s right, much like sewer alligators or Slender Pony it’s all complete nonsense. However, there are apparently some ponies who don’t realize that it’s nonsense and are messing around with magic they don’t fully understand in an attempt to try and summon Cthulhu. Who, I might add, is simply a character of fiction created by author H.P. Lovecraft.
Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good urban legend as much as the next pony. They can be fun and amusing stories. But when an urban legend, like this one, gets to the point where ponies start taking it a little too seriously and put themselves in potential danger to try and prove it, well, I feel that it’s my duty as a Princess of Equestria to help set the record straight.
I realize, of course, that there are those who won’t simply take my word for it, which is why I’m doing this episode today; to show you that the Necronomicon and Cthulhu are just an urban legend and nothing more.
How am I going to do this? Simple; with the help of my friends!
According to the so-called ‘Necronomicon’ that I found when looking up this urban legend…
Now where did I leave that copy?
.
Ah, here it is.
According to this the ritual requires three participants. So to help me perform it I asked two of my friends for assistance. If you’ll look over here you’ll see my number one assistant, Spike!
Say hi, Spike.
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Yes, Spike, the robes are necessary for the ritual.
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Well this shouldn’t take long so just bear with it for a bit longer.
And over here you’ll see my friend, Fluttershy!
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Uh, Spike, where’s Fluttershy?
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Behind the couch, huh?
Fluttershy, we talked about this. Everything’s going to be fine.
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I assure you nothing is going to happen. I’ve studied magic my whole life and I can tell you with certainty that this whole Necronomicon and Cthulhu thing is hokum, plain and simple.
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No, Fluttershy, we won’t be sacrificing any animals for this ritual. If that was something the ritual called for I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of performing it.
All we’ll be doing is chanting some supposedly magic words while I cast a spell.
Now can you please come out from behind the couch?
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*SIGH*
I really wish one of my other friends had been available to help with this. I love Fluttershy but she just gets spooked so easily that she was the last pony I wanted to ask for help. Frankly though, I’m surprised she even agreed to help. As you can imagine she was hesitant at first, but when I told her it was for the purpose of providing an important PSA to everypony she immediately said that she’d help.
There’s a lot to admire about Fluttershy, but if nothing else you can’t help but admire her desire to help others. Even if she’s feeling afraid.
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Okay, now we just need to stand around this, ahem…‘ritualistic circle’ that I’ve drawn over here, light a few candles, and we can begin.
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*SIGH*
For the last time, Spike, we’re doing this to prove that all of this is hokum so that ponies don’t try doing it themselves and get hurt.
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Yes, I know most ponies aren’t as magically gifted as I am and wouldn’t be able to perform this spell, but there’s danger in all of this from a non-magical standpoint too. This kind of occult stuff can lead to other harmful things like doing drugs or joining a gang.
At least that’s what my mom always told me.
Now please, just take your spot between those two candles so we can get this over with.
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Alright, we’re all in position.
Let me just light the candles, and…
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There.
Now, as I’m performing the spell we all need to chant the words that I’ve written down on the pieces of paper I gave each of you earlier.
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Well they’re not actually words, Fluttershy. Or at least not words that are comprehensible to us, as the legend goes.
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I believe the pronunciation is; Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
You get that?
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Well you should be fine no matter how you pronounce them. According to the legend there’s really no wrong way to pronounce the words because there’s no correct way to pronounce them.
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Okay, as soon as I start casting the spell start chanting.
Ready?
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
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PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH CTHULHU R’LYEH WGAH’NAGL FHTAGN!
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See? Nothing happened.
So I hope all of you watching this realize now that all of this stuff is nothing but-
*BOOM*
Wah!
What…What was that?
*BOOM*
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You’re right, Spike, whatever it is it sounds like it’s coming from outside.
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Oh sweet Celestia.
It wasn’t hokum, IT WASN’T HOKUM!
WE ACTUALLY SUMMONED CTHULHU!
AND HE’S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR PONYVILLE!
Ohhhh, this is bad. Thisisbadthisisbadthisis-
*SLAP*
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Thank you, Spike, I needed that.
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G-Good idea. You and Fluttershy go find the rest of our friends and I’ll do what I can to slow Cthulhu down in the meantime.
Fluttershy, you go get -
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Uh, Spike, where’s Fluttershy?
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SHE’S GOING AFTER CTHULHU ALL BY HERSELF?!
HAS SHE COMPLETELY LOST HER MIND?!
I’ve got to reach her before he destroys her and –
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Are…are you seeing this, Spike?
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Yeah, I don’t believe it either. Fluttershy is giving Cthulhu her stare…and it seems to be working on him.
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And now he’s backing away from Ponyville.
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And now Fluttershy is rubbing his belly.
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I just don’t know what’s more perplexing to me right now; The fact that Cthulhu and all this Necronomicon stuff is actually real, or that Fluttershy is successfully subduing an ancient deity with belly rubs.
I think I’m going to end this episode here and just say this; Some urban legends might actually be true, but even if they are it’s probably best to simply leave them as legends and not try to prove that they’re true.
So as always, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries.
I really hope this doesn’t mean that Slender Pony is real too.
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Twilight tries finding slenderpony
Twilight tries becoming a criminal (undercover cop style)
(after reading what Twilight did)
.................... oooooook. after this i think poor twilight needs something calm to do. like ........... out do 'Shelldon' from 'The Big Bang Theory'? jest an idea mind you and also i think Twilight is the only one that can out do that ding dong.
Twilight tries living in a van down by the river (see what I did there)
I half expected Cthulhu to turn out to be a changeling in disguise
good thing Fluttershy has a way with unholy beasts 
Other than that, I've started reading this fic recently and trying to think od something for Twilight to do, though I haven't taken the trouble to check if any have already been mentioned. So:
Twilight tries eating meat (this would probably require a trip through the mirror)
Twilight tries destroying a book (doesn't matter which)
Twilight tries cleaning the whole castle all by herself
Twilight tries spending a day without magic (levitation included)
Twilight tries adopting a baby timberwolf
Twilight tries reasoning with a Karen
(I'd like to think of something that involves the changelings but nothing comes to mind right now)
Got a question
Later...
Fluttershy: Well, was that a big enough prank for you?
Discord: Indeed it was my dear. Especially since Twilight didn't even realize it was one.
Fluttershy: She didn't even think it might be you.
10531473
Hah, perfect.
Twilight tries playing the Sly Cooper games and decides to try being a master thief (like Sly Cooper)
I don't think see seen the Rainbooms music videos.
With guest Sunset Shimmer
10531461
A question for me?
10531672
Yeah
10531673
Okay. Ask away.
10531677
You don't mind if I create a fic similar to this one, but with Starlight instead of Twilight, do you?
10531679
Not at all! I think a story like this but with Starlight would be really fun to read.
10531686
Here's the link to where I'm asking people what they think Starlight should try
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/198512/the-shameless-self-promotion-bureau/thread/453767/new-comment-driven-fic
Is this like the pony version of Bloody Mary?
10531689
That 'running Wendy's Twitter account' one sounds hilarious!
10531699
Yeah. Not 100% sure if I'll do it or not yet
Twilight try... Eating Tree Hugger special muffins
10531699
Starlight could be pretty snarky I think.
10531699
Do you have any advice for making each chapter at least 1,000 words each?
I've never done a fic like this before
Bowling?
Yeah, that's about what I expected to happen. Twilight, honestly, after all these "old mare's tales" you've met and fought, I would have expected you to be more prepared for the possibility that this particular urban legend might NOT be complete hokum.
Also, Ponyville. Just, Ponyville.
Twilight tries being a 'living statue'
Twilight tries to be disorganised
Twilight tries helping the CMCs
Twilight tries horse riding (in the human world)
Twilight tries doing a rain dance
Twilight tries working in the royal guard
Maybe twilight can try to write fanfiction
Holy shit I got a shoutout! POGGERS!!!
Now that Twilight has beheld the majesty of Cthulhu and panicked, perhaps some reading will help her get over her fear of the Great Old Ones.
I suggest she read a play... a play called The King in Yellow...
10531699
Can I make a series based off this with another pony vlogging?
Twilight doesn't know it but Slenderpony stalked her one episode... is this foreshadowing for a later Twilight Tries?
10535246
Sure, go ahead.
How about Twilight tries getting a driver’s license?
Either have her try reading the first chapter of Fully Healed or watch Naruto (I think she's be impressed by that one
Twilight tries the Yes Challenge for 24 hours without telling her friends.
Oh, silly pony.
He's canon.
when I heard - necronomicon - I almost scream - NO-
you're lucky you only summoned this cthulhu ancestor
Have you ever wondered if she starts the zompony apocalypse in equestria?
Summon a servant , fate stay night style , more with an equestrian fragment on earth levels ( eg a piece of the round table table as a fragment )