Twilight Tries...

by Peni Parker

Foundation Repair

…This is fine, everything’s just fine. I’m totally okay with being down here.

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O-Oh, you, um, heard all that, huh, Spike?

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Well, yes, I did seal off the door down here that had the stargate behind it. But even still, I’m not a big fan of being down in the basement. It’s cold, it’s damp, and for all we know there could be something down here that came through the stargate before I sealed it off! Like a dinosaur, or a shoggoth! Or a killer quesadilla!

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Oh when does a pony ever get over a fear completely, Spike?

And another thing, I don’t think it’s entirely impossible for there to be killer quesadilla’s out there somewh –

Hold on a second.

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Uh, Spike, how long has the camera been recording?

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What?! You didn’t know it was on?!

*SIGH*

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No, I’m not mad at you, Spike. It’s just…we really need to get better at using the camera is all. This kind of thing keeps happening way too often.

Welp, I might as well do my intro now.

Ahem.

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Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!

So since the camera has apparently been recording for a while now, you’ve no doubt noticed that I’m once again doing an episode of my vlog from my castle’s basement. And no, I’m not down here to deal with that stargate again. In case you didn’t hear me say this earlier, I’ve magically sealed the door leading to it. So hopefully that means we won’t have to deal with the stargate ever again.

Hopefully.

But getting back to why it is I’m in the basement right now. The reason I’m down here is because of, well…let me just show you.

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There we are.

So as you can see, there are a bunch of cracks in the foundation of my castle. And not just little cracks either, they’re pretty big cracks.

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Really, Spike? You’re going to start resorting to that kind of humor?

Oy vey.

Anywhoo, you may be wondering how it is that these cracks even ended up here. Well, if you remember a while back I did an episode where I tried Sensha-doo…I mean, Sensha-deux…Shensha – ugh! Tankery! I tried tankery!

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Ahem.

S-Sorry about that.

So anyways, when I tried tankery you might recall that it ended with a giant hole being blown in the side of my castle by a certain pony who won’t be named.

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What?

No, Spike, Rainbow Dash wasn’t the one who fired the canon and blew the hole in the wall. That was Trixie, remember?

Ah geez, I named her after just saying that I wouldn’t.

*SIGH*

It’s too hot today.

But getting back to the hole in my castle, I was able to fix that with a pretty advanced spell and a little bit of help from Starlight. Thing is though, we found out later that there was more damage to the castle than just the hole. And I’m guessing you can figure out what damage I’m referring to.

Now initially I thought I could just use magic to fix the foundation like I did with the wall, but as it turns out I can’t. Well, that’s not entirely true. I can use magic to fix a foundation, but the spell to do so is extremely difficult. Not to mention that if I didn’t do it correctly I could end up making the problem much, much worse. So rather than risk damaging the foundation further, I’ve decided to fix the foundation by hoof.

So, yeah, that’s what I’m trying in this episode. I’m trying foundation repair.

Hooray!

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For the last time, Spike, I’m not hiring a contractor. I’m fully capable of doing this myself.

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Yes, I know I don’t have any experience doing this kind of work, but with this book that I got from the Canterlot Library on foundation repair I should be fine.

See? ‘The Earth Pony Approach To Foundation Repair’. All I have to do is follow the instructions in this book and everything should go easy-peasy.

So let’s get started and see what it is we need to do first.

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Hmm. Looks like we need to patch the cracks in the slab using a latex patching compound and a patching trowel.

Pfft.

What did I say? Totally easy-peasy.

Okay, I’ve got the patching compound all ready to go, so all we need is the patching trowel?

Spike, can you please go get my patching trowel?

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Wait, we don’t have a patching trowl?

Are you sure? I could’ve sworn I saw one once in that closet where we keep all of our tools.

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Okay, well, I guess we’ll just have to make a quick run to the hardware store and pick one up then.

Be right back, everypony.

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Phew. We’re finally back.

So sorry about that delay, everypony. It took us a little longer than expected to find a patching trowel.

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Well how was I supposed to know they wouldn’t be with the gardening trowels, Spike?! I mean, wouldn’t you think that all the trowels would be in one place?

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Look, it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that we now have a patching trowel and can therefore start patching the cracks!

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Again with that kind of humor, Spike?

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Okay, all patched up. What’s next?

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What the - ?

H-Hey, Spike, do you know if we have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation?

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Yeah, I’m not really sure what that is either.

I mean, the castle is made of rock and was magically constructed by the Tree of Harmony, so I don’t think that we have anything like that. But just to be on the safe side we should probably assume that we do have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation, don’t you think?

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Okay, so since we’re assuming we do have extruded polyvinyl foam insulation, the next thing we have to do is…assemble the aluminum J-channelusing self-furring screws?

What the hay are either of those things?

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Yeah, it looks like we have to go back to the hardware store, Spike.

Be right back again, everypony.

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Sweet Celestia, that hardware store is a nightmare.

Sorry for that second delay, everypony. Spike and I managed to find what we were looking for pretty quickly this time, but we ran into a bit of a problem picking out the right ones. They had about a dozen different kinds of aluminum J-channels and about two dozen different kinds of self-furring screws, so it took us a while to find the exact ones needed for this repair.

So…many…screws.

But now that we’ve got this stuff, let’s get to work assembling it all.

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Phew.

Okay, next step.

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Apply brushablecoating for the panels?! I…what?! What panels?! The panels with the aluminum J-channels?! It doesn’t say what panels?!

Ugh!

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Well regardless of whichever panels this is referring to, Spike, we need to go get some brushable coating.

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Yep, back to the hardware store.

Be right back, everypony. Again.

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Well it’s not my fault that the book doesn’t have a page with a list of all the materials we need, Spike!

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All right, we got the brushable coating.

Well, a brushable coating at least.

Now just give me a few minutes to read ahead and see if we can find out what panels we’re supposed to apply this stuff to.

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*SIGH*

I’m not finding anything more on panels here. Right after the section about brushable coating it just goes into this stuff called corrosion-resistant metal stucco lath.

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Yeah, I don’t know what that is either, Spike. And honestly, my brain is starting to feel a bit weird right now because of that.

I’m not used to not knowing things.

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Unfortunately, yes. This means we need to go back to the hardware store. Again!

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Oh, hold on a minute, Spike! It says here we might not need corrosion-resistant metal stucco lath!

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Yeah! It says that if we don’t have corrosion-resistant metal stucco lath we can…use…carbon-fiber stucco lath instead.

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Okay, we’re done here, Spike.

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Yes I know the foundation isn’t repaired yet, but I’m capitulating. Doing foundation repair by hoof is incredibly confusing, frustrating, and not at all easy-peasy.

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No, I’m still not comfortable with trying to use magic to fix this problem. Let’s just go ahead and hire a contractor.

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Oh, good idea, Spike. Maybe Applejack knows a thing or two about foundation repair and can help us.

I’d certainly feel better asking her for help instead of a random contractor.

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Yeah, let’s go see her right now.

Well, everypony, I think that’ll do it for this episode. So as always, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!

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What the - ?

What’s this stuff all over the basement floor? I don’t remember seeing any of this earlier.

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Hold on.

*SNIFF*

Is this…c-cheese?

H-Hey, Spike. You, um, didn’t happen to bring a cheeseburger or some nachos down here by any chance, did you?

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N-No?

Oh dear.

Author's Note:

If there's something you'd like to see Twilight try, please let me know in the comments!

Comments

[kaafan10]

twilight tries to tap dancing

[MLPMekarm]

..... why all the cheese?

[twidash1993]

Twilight tries becoming a therapist.

[Lord Headcheez]

Sweet Celestia, that hardware store is a nightmare.

But Twilight! They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication, Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers, soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers!

[BeastofGilchrist]

Twilight tries going through the portal and recording it turning her into a human.

[Jarimor]

11171642
external-preview.redd.it/fngIIxaaa_JzLssmroupnTcPzzLT9uDyBOcG7Cj8jK8.png?width=640&crop=smart&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6b9eabadc0c8dc0559352203ab96891d19af3b7

[Kichi]

Twilight tries... Making a special episode with Spike as the protagonist

...

...

And that is all for today, good work Spike

...

Also... Twilight try... To go to Magical Kindergarten

[Jlargent]

Twilight tries pole dancing.
Twilight tries Pokemon Legend of Arceus.
Twilight tries to sleep.
Twilight tries applying for UA.
Twilight tries becoming Queen of the Pirates.
Twilight tries to become mayor.

This is what I have at the moment.

[ANW]

Did you do a Simpsons reference?

[Peni Parker]

11171756

Did I?

Yes. Yes I did.

11171602

You'll see.

[Skyblazer9]

11171602
I think it has to do with quesadillas, I still don't know why Twilight is afraid of them.

[ANW]

11171792
I respect that.

[Black Hoof]

Could Twilight try hoofwrestling with Cadance?

[zerofireking13]

Twilight tries playing guitar hero

[Animak]

Twilight shops for a new shampoo

[TheHardie-Boy]

Twilight Tries binging S1 of The Cuphead Show! with Pinkie

[Onyx Quill]

Twilight tries watching Pony Life.
Twilight tries watching the G5 movie.

[twidash1993]

Twilight tries digging a hole to China.