Twilight Tries...

by Peni Parker

Performing an Exorcism

…Keep casting the containment spell, you two! We can’t let him get away!

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I know it’s a difficult spell, Trixie, but if we don’t keep Owlowiscious contained who knows what he’ll do! You and Starlight just need to keep it up until Spike gets back from the library with the books!

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Wait a minute. Is this thing still on?

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It is.

Eh, when life gives you lemons…

Hey, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries! Or I guess I should say welcome to a continuation of Twilight Tries since apparently I never turned off the camera from the last episode.

So if you watched the last episode, you’ll remember that I tried ghostbusting for the first time because Spike, Starlight, and Trixie were all convinced that we had ghosts floating around the castle. We split up into groups to go looking for the ghosts, Trixie and I almost died when one of Starlight’s homemade proton packs exploded, and I almost died again when Spike accidently fired a proton beam at me.

You know, typical Saturday stuff around here.

But you may also remember that our supposed ghost turned out to simply be my pet owl, Owlowiscious. Everything seemed to have wrapped up nicely after that, until Owlowiscious started saying ‘Zuul’ over-and-over again in this really creepy voice and his eyes turned a very ominous shade of red.

Which is not typical Saturday stuff.

That’s when I started to think that maybe we really did have a ghost floating around the castle, and that it had possessed Owlowiscious for some reason. So that’s why Starlight and Trixie are behind me casting a spell of containment to keep Owlowiscious from doing…something that I’m sure you don’t want a possessed owl doing.

As for me, I’m waiting for Spike to come back from the castle library with some books about how to perform an exorcism. Because according to him we apparently have a number of books on the subject of exorcisms.

So, yeah, that’s what I’m going to be trying in this episode. I’m going to try and perform an exorcism…on my pet owl.

Reeeeally didn’t see this one coming.

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For the last time, Trixie, we’re not using the proton packs on Owlowiscious!

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Because your proton pack exploded, remember?!

And even if it hadn’t, I don’t want to harm Owlowiscious! He’s just a victim in all of this!

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Trixie, I swear if I hear one more remark out of you today that includes the words ‘fried owl’ I’m going to send you back down to the basement where I found you!

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Oh, Spike, you’re back! Thank goodness.

Wow, we really do have a number of books on exorcisms.

Let’s see what we’ve got here.

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Exorcism 101?

No, probably too basic.

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Exorcism For Dummies?

Definitely not.

I’m not a dummy.

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I Was A Teenage Exorcist?

I’m pretty sure this one’s just a bad teenage romance novel with exorcism thrown in for the heck of it.

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The Necronomicon?!

Spike, we’re trying to exorcise a ghost, not summon one!

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Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Exorcisms?

Well I highly doubt this book contains everything we want to know regarding exorcisms, but since it seems to be the best one we’ve got it’ll have to do.

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Okay, this seems simple enough. All I have to do is recite these words and the ghost possessing Owlowiscious should be exor-

Oh dear.

Um, it says that the exorcism won’t work through the containment spell. He has to be able to hear me speaking the words or else the ghost won’t be exorcised.

Starlight, Trixie! Any chance you can drop the containment spell and then quickly use your magic to hold Owlowiscious down?!

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I know it won’t be easy, Starlight, but we don’t have a choice. And don’t worry, if this works you shouldn’t have to hold him down for very long.

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Okay, get ready, you two. On my mark.

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Now!

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Good, hold him down just like that while I –

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H-He’s speaking full sentences now. And in an even creepier voice than before.

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Wait a minute. What did you just say about my mother?!

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Listen here, you darn ghost; My mother is a saint! She would never do something as disgusting and vulgar as that!

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Why you – !

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Y-You’re right, Spike, the ghost is just trying to distract me.

Thanks for -

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Oh, right.

Sorry, Starlight! Let me just find that page again and – Here we are!

HAIL CELESTIA, FULL OF GRACE, THE SUN IS WITH THEE! BLESSED ART THOU AMONG PONIES, AND BLESSED BE THY SISTER, LUNA!

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I think it’s working. He’s getting agitated.

BEGONE, GHOST! IN THE NAME OF THE SUN, THE MOON, AND LOVE, I SAY TO THEE BEGONE!!!

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THE POWER OF CELESTIA COMPELS YOU, FOUL CREATURE! THE POWER OF CELESTIA COMPELS YOU!!!

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Wha!

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A-Are you all seeing this? I-It looks like the ghost is being exorcised from Owlowiscious and sent to…I don’t even know where. Some other dimension by the looks of it.

I really hope this is showing up on camera.

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I think it’s over now.

Is everypony all right?

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Ugh.

You’re fine, Trixie. Being a little hungry doesn’t mean that you’re not all right.

Owlowiscious? Can you hear me? Are you okay?

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Oh thank goodness! I was so afraid that you’d be possessed by that ghost forever or get sucked into that other dimension with it.

Why don’t you go rest up in my bedroom for a while. I imagine you’re probably feeling a bit worn out after having been possessed by a ghost.

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I guess he isn’t too worn out if he can still fly like that.

Okay, castlemates, now that we’ve taken care of that nasty ghost business we can get down to our talk about - Hey, where are you three going?! Have you forgotten why I asked you all to gather here in the first place?

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No, Starlight, it wasn’t so that we could play a game of Dragon Pit. It was so that we could have a little talk about how there’s no such thing as ghosts and how using experimental, nuclear-powered equipment that hasn’t been successfully tested isn’t safe. Now given everything that we just went through I’m willing to forego the part about there being no such thing as ghosts, but that doesn’t mean we still don’t need to have a very serious talk about how incredibly unsafe it is to use homemade proton packs.

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Fine, Trixie, you can grab a snack from the kitchen first. Just be quick about it, okay?

Well while we wait for Trixie to get her snack I guess I’ll officially end things here. So as always, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!

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Trixie, I didn’t just hear you mumble the words ‘fried owl’, did I?

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Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Author's Note:

If there's something you'd like to see Twilight try, please let me know in the comments!

Comments

[kaafan10]

twilight tries karaoke night

[MLPMekarm]

that was so funny. i hope twilight will try watching DBZA. i would love to see her reaction on how crazy things are in it.

[BestinDworld]

twilight tries listening to the ladybugs picnic from sesame street on a loop with flurry heart

[ANW]

I know Twilight has ice skated before, but what about roller skating?

[Drake Redwing]

Spike, we’re trying to exorcise a ghost, not summon one!

CTHULHU FTAGHN

[twidash1993]

Twilight tries being a mechanic

[Immolation]

Twilight Tries: Getting an RTX Graphics Card in 2021.

[Zubric]

Meanwhile in the EQG world -
“ booooo!” Spike the dog

[The Baron]

Just finished binge reading this and loved every minute. Well done.
Now for some suggestions:
Twilight Tries™; Spending a day in Discord's dimension.
Twilight Tries™; Best smelling book.
Twilight Tries™; An Inside Out spell. (Pixar, not Clive Barker.)
Twilight Tries™; Not thinking about elephants.
Twilight Tries™; Scientifically measuring Trixie's ego.
Twilight Tries™; Mareijauna and Nightcore.
Twilight Tries™; Spot the changeling, with her friends and Thorax/Kevin.
Twilight Tries™; Spending a day with Celestia, without kissing her metaphorical flank.
Twilight Tries™; Binge watching the Lord of the Rings, original Star Wars and Cornetto trilogies back to back.
Twilight Tries™; Making a model ship in a bottle, without magic.