Twilight Tries...

by Peni Parker

Puttin' On The Ritz

Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!

So you’ve probably noticed that I’m outside right now, and that’s because I’m on my way over to Carousel Boutique to meet my friend, Rarity. She’s going to be joining me this episode because she’s actually the pony who suggested what it is I’m going to be trying this today.

Today, I’m going to try…putting on the ritz! And before you ask, I have no idea what that means.

Yep, I’m going to be trying something that I am completely clueless about. How did this happen you may wondering? Well, allow me to explain.

See, the other day I was having tea with Rarity at the castle and while we were chatting she mentioned that she watched a few episodes of my vlog. I asked her what she thought of them and she said, and I quote, ‘Oh they were very entertaining, Darling, but have you ever considered trying something a bit more…stylish?’

Needless to say, I was a little confused by what she meant. I mean, I know that stylish means fashionable, but I didn’t know what she meant by trying something stylish. So when I asked her what she had in mind she said, ‘Well, you could try designing a dress , or you could join me for Manehatten Fashion Week next month, or-oh, oh, I just thought of the perfect thing! You and I can put on the ritz!’

Before I could ask Rarity what it means, she became a little, how shall I put this...overzealous.

‘I can see it now!’ She continued. ‘The glitz, the glamour, ooh, it’s all so beautiful!’

I tried one more time to ask Rarity what she was talking about, but before I could she just told me to meet her at Carousel Boutique today and then took off.

So yeah, like I said before, ‘putting on the ritz’ is a concept that is completely foreign to me; No idea what it means. But it looks like I'm about to find out because we're here.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Rarity?! It’s Twilight!

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Hi, Rarity.

Listen, before we get started, I was just wonder-WHOA!

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Um, Rarity, could you…please let go of me now. You’re hugging me…a bit too tightly.

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*HEAVY BREATHING*

It’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.

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I know you’re excited for today, I am too. But I really have to know; What exactly is ‘putting on the ritz’?

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It’s…dressing fashionably?

Uh, Rarity, this vlog is for things I’ve never tried before, and I’ve dressed fashionably before. You know, for things like the Grand Galloping Gala and all those dinners I’ve hosted as the Princess of Friendship.

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Those weren’t the same as putting on the ritz?

I’m confused.

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You’re saying all those other times I dressed fashionably before were more chic fashion and that putting on the ritz is more vintage fashion?

Okay, since I don’t have your fashion expertise I’m afraid I’m going to have to plead ignorance here. What exactly is the difference between vintage fashion and chic fashion?

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Vintage fashion is more retro and chic fashion is more modern?

Oh, so vintage fashion would be like the outfits worn by Ginger Rogers in Top Hat or Shall We Dance?

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Well, I'm pretty sure I’ve never worn an outfit that could be considered vintage before. So I guess I will be trying ‘putting on the ritz’ for the first time then.

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Okay, let’s do it!

What did you have in mind for me?

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Wow, Rarity! That dress is beautiful!

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It’s a Couture Silk Taffeta & Velvet Cocktail dress?

I’m not quite sure what most of that means. But regardless, I really like it.

Just let me try it on to make sure it fits.

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No, no, I wasn’t insinuating anything, Rarity, honest. I’m sure it will fit perfectly. It’s just, you know, when you first get a new dress you instinctively want to make sure it fits, that’s all.

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Okay, well, be back in a minute.

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Yep, it fits like a charm, and I really like how this shade of blue complements my coat.

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Uh-huh. You’re outfit looks great too, Rarity.

So, what now?

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We go out? Go out where?

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CANTERLOT?!

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Okay, I really didn’t see this coming.

Right now Rarity and I are on the train to Canterlot because apparently there’s a club there dedicated to ponies who like putting on the ritz.

You know, I lived in Canterlot for a good part of my life and I don't ever remember there being a club like that. At first I thought maybe it was created after I left but Rarity assured me that it’s been there for quite a long time, perhaps as far back as when vintage fashion was considered chic fashion. I’m actually kind of curious what it’s like now.

Oh, we’re pulling into Canterlot already.

So, Rarity, how far is it to this place from the station?

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It’s on Park Avenue? Wow, that’s a pretty fancy part of town, even by Canterlot standards.

How did you learn about this place?

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Sassy Saddles told you about it because according to her it’s a great place to network?

Why does that make me feel a little uneasy?

Well, just lead the way then.

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This is it?

Rarity, this is just the Canterlot Country Club.

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Well yeah, that’s because the ponies who patronize this place are the well-to-do. You know, bankers, jewel cutters, titans of industry. Vintage is just how they dress.

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I mean, I guess that does technically make it a vintage fashion club. And we did come all this way, so okay, let’s go inside.

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I have to admit, this place really is nice. I especially like how the architecture is reminiscent of-

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Oh, well it’s a pleasure to meet you too, Mr. Carneighie.

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Yes, I can imagine the infrastructure industry must be very challenging, especially with all those new steel sanctions against Ukrein.

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Oh, n-no I’m sorry, foreign policy is handled by Princess Celestia. I have no say in those matt-

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I-I suppose I could take your concerns to her, sure.

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Y-Yeah, great talking to you too.

Did you see that?! That pony just tried to curry political favor with of me!

I don’t like this. I should find Rarity and-

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I-I’m sorry, Mr. Althoof, I really don’t have time to discuss banking regulations righ-

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Oh, um, yes, Mr. DiCloprio, I agree that the environment is an important issue-

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Mrs. Underfeather, even I don’t understand all these new tax laws-

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They never stop coming! I need to get out of here!

PLEASE EXCUSE ME!

*TELEPORT SOUND*

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Okay, I am never going back in there! Those ponies are all crazy!

So yeah, putting on the ritz. I liked the dressing fashionably part of it, but not the ‘get mobbed by a bunch of rich ponies looking to get richer’ part of it. If Rarity ever wants us do this again, I’m going to suggest we-Oh, I just realized I left without Rarity.

Okay, I’m just going to end this video here and thank you all for watching this episode of Twilight Tries.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to figure out a way of reaching Rarity without going back into that den of opulent madness.

Author's Note:

Love this song.

If there's something you'd like to see Twilight try, please let me know in the comments!

Comments

[RandomGuy101]

I always thought it was putting something on a Ritz cracker!

[Switch Swap]

Twilight tries hanging out with Discord for 24 hours.

Just had this idea

[zimmerwald1915]

All the toffs named in the story and there's no counterpart to the Rockefellers, who were wealthier than any of them and explicitly named in the song? Shameful, absolutely shameful

[Heartland Picker]

10196470
(Dangit, you took my joke!)

[RandomGuy101]

10196545

Anyway, here is The List:
Twilight Tries... Looking at a Quesadilla without Twilighting (Follow Up: Actually Eating It; FIM Fiction supports this idea)
Twilight Tries... Ballroom Dancing
I agree with 10196474's idea: Twilight Tries. Hanging Out with Discord for Twenty-Four Hours
Twilight Tries... Reading More Fan Fiction! Time Loop Edition (Hard Reset, A little loopy, 3:14 PM, etc.)

[Peni Parker]

10196523
I was going to use Rockefeller, but I couldn't think of a fun pony name for it.

[TigerCat111]

Oh, um, yes, Mr. DiCloprio, I agree that the environment is an important issue-

DICLOPRIO

[Heartland Picker]

10196697
No. None of that. Shame on you.

[Eroraf86]

Ugh, political schmoozing. No thank you.

[ANW]

You know, Fluttershy hasn't have an episode yet.
Bird watching or catch and release fishing.

[TheHardie-Boy]

Twilight tries watching the first two season of the DuckTales reboot... without crying. I myself barely passed this challenge...

[twidash1993]

Twilight tries singing in the rain?
Twilight tries learning a new language

[zerofireking13]

Twilight tries to read a comic book. (Marvel or DC)

[Fetch]

10196556
Twilight is not Awake in this story.

And, over in MLP: Time Loops, she has pretty much tried everything in the multiverse when she is.

[RandomGuy101]

10197629
What do you mean, not Awake? And, ooh! New story! Can I have a URL or embed?

[Fetch]

10197646
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/98568/mlp-time-loops

You will learn what it means quickly enough. Just be warned: it is long, has many internal parts, and some loops stories start in a chapter and then continue 10+ chapters later.

[Goldspoon]

The chapter itself is great, but you should have put a link to the original song. Taco's attempt is... nice, it just lacks everything that makes the original so great.
https://vimeo.com/6971656

[RandomGuy101]

10197836
Oh, I already had it in my read later and had completely forgotten about it!

[Just Sean tm]

I was watching some old GameGrumps videos, and I think I might have struck gold.

BookHorse Twilight tries to write a story using GPT-2!

[Rotkiv Steelmug]

Twilight tries... bacon jam.

Twilight:

[Heartland Picker]

Twilight and Rarity try watching James Cameron's "Titanic" without crying. (Throw in more friends if you think it would work.)

[LoveandEdify]

If we have Twilight try TikTok Challenges, that would make EVERYPONY’S quarantine.

[gchamp89]

That same song was playing in my head while I was reading. Great song and chapter

[Ospero]

Random thought: Huh. Not my experience with doing that.

Yes, I have actually, as they say, been there and done that. "There" being the Ritz - the one in London - and "that" being afternoon tea at said hotel. It wasn't really "afternoon" tea, seeing as how I could only get a reservation for 7.30 pm, but I did have to "put on the Ritz" - they literally won't let you in if you're not dressed properly. And my late reservation meant that I got a bit of live music with my tea, and take a wild guess what song they started with.

Anyway, I just stumbled across this one because it was randomly in the feature box again because of an update (I guess), so thanks for coming to my ted talk. :)

[sykko]

I thought it was going to be like this.

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

I myself love a good bit of "historical cosplay" In fact, I have a bit of a tradition around Hearth's Warming where I dress up in my best Victorian "Charles Dickens" outfit. images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/16c0bacb-0ba8-4acf-9a45-d500dc820949/dewpev7-2f6b9259-158c-469b-a31c-3b9ca7809089.jpg/v1/fill/w_666,h_1199,q_70,strp/269807394_3096932980573694_562428765864058930_n_by_ilvbrownies_dewpev7-pre.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MjAxNSIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzE2YzBiYWNiLTBiYTgtNGFjZi05YTQ1LWQ1MDBkYzgyMDk0OVwvZGV3cGV2Ny0yZjZiOTI1OS0xNThjLTQ2OWItYTMxYy0zYjljYTc4MDkwODkuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTExMjAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.WJNMq5txQ__uKyDpidjHGM6jUNWvmWj8c0nGtoNV9bY