The Fall of Valencia

by Etherium-Apex

Epilogue

In the years that passed, many campaigns were made to reclaim Moenia Tenebra and bring Valencia back to its former glory, but all failed. It was not until Magnus was informed many months later that he finally intervened, using his power to obliterate the entire site from above. Magnus received a great amount of criticism from every corner of the earth for his blindness to their plight, as well as his destructive solution, driving his subjects further away from him.

Marcellus and Felix led many great wars during their time in the Legion, eventually retiring and settling in the western reaches of modern-day Equestria in an untouched hamlet by the mountains of Unicornis, now known as the Unicorn Range. A reconstruction effort was led to rebuild Valencia, though sadly, Marcellus and Felix never lived to see the city return to its former glory. Marcellus passed on the year 4567 of the Magnum Age, a decorated hero of war, with his closest friend Felix following suit in the year 4572.

As the centuries passed, dissent grew within the Empire, until a series of rebellions were staged towards the end of the Magnum Age. Magnus himself was growing weary of the mortal plane, having existed within it for nearly ten thousand years, and risked becoming an Umbrum if he stayed any longer. With the death of his beloved wife during the final battle in Equestria’s southern deserts, Magnus finally ceded, granting sovereignty to every nation on earth before leaving the mortal plane forever. An end came to the Imperial era of the world’s history, beginning the new history of Equestria as ruled by Magnus’ son Aurelius, in the new Aurelian Age. After two thousand years of ruling Equestria, Aurelius and his wife Lucretia gave birth to two daughters, Celestia and Luna, who then began the current Caelestian Age as they bore the crown.

As for the Aurum, the mortal plane was so tainted by the eternal evil that their souls eventually fell to corruption, falling into shadow and becoming Umbrum themselves. They were seen less and less by worldly creatures, and as time went on, they passed from history to legend, eventually becoming a forgotten myth known only by avid scholars.

Legend and myth, fleeting moments of history. Another tale of days long past; of conflict and sorrow, good and evil, light and dark, black and white. This story has long ended, but there will always be more to tell in the future. The days of Marcellus and Felix may yet continue.

Comments

[Etherium-Apex]

10119560
Thanks for the feedback! I do agree that the outline could use some reworking, so expect that to change. The story explains what Aurum are early on; I initially defined them as well in the outline, but I took it out in favor of a more natural exposition in the story itself. The same may happen with the other characters as well. The other concern is genuine, but I'm unsure of how else to alleviate it. I did also include a mention of crystal ponies and the Crystal Empire in the story as well though.

[Greatazuredragon]

This was a little rough around the edges, but overall a good read. The two true things you have to develop in my opinion is pacing and being more descriptive instead of simply narrating what happened off-screen.

But in the end my initial suspicion remains for why so few people are reading this, there are very few links to the show or even ponies in general. For instance, all you have to do is turn the ponies into elves and humans and you have a typical fantasy setting a la TLofR.

Have you tried posting it at another site? I think this could work better as an original work in Royal Road for instance then the pony AU that it is now.
Nonethless, good work and good luck with future projects.

[Ice Star]

10305789
That's awesome! I'll be sure to comment on the other chapters and come back for the revised ones too. Be sure to add your story to more groups to help get it some love.

[Ice Star]

This wrapped up very well, though I would consider making the epilogue a bit different. It's not quite like the prologue where it was a list, but the prose isn't entirely naturally flowing here and still has some of the summary tone in the prologue.