• Member Since 12th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Petrichord


Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? (He/Him)

Comments ( 2 )

Ironic choice of song, given the circumstances of its writing. But a lovely story. :)

This site always needs more married clop.

I want what there is to be as good as it possibly can be so here is a suggestion for the only problem I saw. It is a small problem.

Shining seems to sober up noticeably while Cadance is in the bathroom. This makes the dialogue work better. I suppose losing track of time is easy while drunk? But still it is a bit jarring because we don't get that feeling of time passing. Maybe give some subtle hints like the number of songs that play on the radio? A giant digital clock display on one of the buildings that he absently notices times on?

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