The Little Curiosities

by Comma Typer

Anthropocentricity

For Bon Bon, coming home from the Ponyville Market is usually topped with a sing-song greeting from Lyra and the smell of grilled hay and fries. Therefore, coming home instead to Lyra levitating a box full of unknown items doesn’t bode well for her. “Lyra, please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”

“Of course, it is!” she says, putting the box down on the dining table. “Here’s some human stuff a couple ex-humans gave me before I left!”

The Earth pony rubs her suddenly aching head. “You told Twilight that you were going to the other world to help the natives out and to study their world. What happens if she finds out you’re hoarding some... some random black rectangles while bringing along some of the locals into this house without my knowledge?”

“Hey, these aren’t just black rectangles!” Lyra holds them up in her magic aura. “This is a laptop and that is a smartphone!”

“Don’t they require some kind of net to work?”

“Internet, and no, not necessarily. They just need electricity! And I brought the chargers too!”

Bon Bon ignores the technobabble and peers into the box, still unimpressed and irritated. “And these books are...?“

“History books and atlases about Earth!”

“Why?”

“Study, duh! I feel like I’m studying in Celestia’s School again with all of this new stuff! Did you know that these ex-humans have these things called nuclear missiles which are like very powerful fireworks but instead of making colorful lights in the sky, they carry super big explosives that can destroy like fifty miles of land and kill everybody?”

“Why in the world are we talking about—“

“And they also like to watch cats online?”

“Like surveillance or just watching because they’re all cute and—“ she shakes her head. “No, I’m not diving into this rabbit hole with you!”

“But Bon Bon, this is a whole new world to study and learn from! And it’s right in front of me! Twilight Sparkle’s our neighbor, she has the original mirror portal in her castle, and I’m not going to throw this opportunity away! It’s a completely foreign field of study! Can’t you see? It’s anthropolo—“

“Fine,” and Bon Bon rolls her eyes. “Just don’t spend every waking hour on it. We have more important things to deal with. For example, I still need your help with making all of the candies for Nightmare Night—“ she gestured to the cart of groceries she parked outside “—like right now.”

“I know, I know!” She puts the books and devices back in the box. “You’ve been yapping about it since Sunday! What exactly do you need to make?”

“Well, we can start with a hundred of those orange-flavored jawbreakers—“

“I’ve got a human recipe book!”

“No. Just, no.”

Lyra pokes her on the shoulder. “I’m kidding, Bonnie! I know what you mean! Say, I can pull some friends into this. What say you?”

A huge sigh escapes her muzzle. “That would be much appreciated. When are they coming?”

“I actually asked them to come by right now!”

“Aww, how thoughtful of you!”

And the two pull in for a hug.

Then Bon Bon’s eyes fly wide open. “Wait. Which friends did you bring in?”

The door creaks open. A familiar voice cries out, “Reporting for duty!”

Bon Bon raises a brow and turns to the guest. “I didn’t expect Derpy to be our help.”

“You didn’t expect a Derpy to be our help, you mean?”

Alarm bells ring loud in Bon Bon’s head. “No, no, what did you do?!”

And more ponies come in: ponies who look like her neighbors but aren’t really her neighbors. Davenport, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch—even Pinkie is here, balancing bags of sugar and flour and saying, “Hello! It’s nice to be here for like the tenth time in one week, but Lyra called and now we’re ready to make this the sweetest Nightmare Night ever!”

At the end of it, the living room is half-full with aproned ponies raring to make candies. It leaves a stunned Bon Bon to ask in deadpan, “Is that all from the… the human world?”

“Almost!” and Lyra whistles at the door. “It’s your turn, you two!”

And into the house come two mares eerily identical to Lyra and Bon Bon. Not even a change of mane style or anything like some of the other former humans Bon Bon herself occasionally saw these days: it’s too much like staring at the mirror, except the mirror can talk back.

“I still have no idea how much of this works,” says Sweetie Drops, “but if your Lyra’s anything like this Lyra here, then something crazy good’s here.”

And the ex-human Lyra nods with her Equestrian self. “I mean, I know a few candy-making tricks, Bon Bon, so I think I’m ready for eating all the—I mean cooking all the candies... yeah! Who’s with me?!”

The ponies holler a war cry, rocking the cottage and wobbling Bon Bon’s legs. Only for Lyra—the Lyra born and raised in Equestria, Bon Bon checks just to be sure—to bump her on the shoulder. “That’s anthropology for you! Now let’s get cracking, eh?”

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Anthropology!

[justheretoreadstories]

Lyra has a interest in nuclear weapons, this won't end well.

[WanderingPony]

Let's also note that Lyrapon managed to drag an entire pack of humans in to help, including "herself". Crazy is contagious. :)

[FanOfMostEverything]

Cheap, eager-to-help labor! What's not to love? Jut keep Lyra far away from any plutonium.

[redandready45]

Expecting human-Lyra chapter.

Was not disappointed.