The Little Curiosities

by Comma Typer

Roll for Irritative

“Sorry I’m late! Didn’t know you guys moved. Good to see yer’ enjoying yer’self, big brother! Uh, y’all late too? Why’re you just settin’ things up? Snips, where’s Trixie?”

“Today’s just gonna be me, Snails, you AJ, and your brother. Spike’s supposed to debut this time—long story—but Twilight’s got him tied up on a magic experiment.”

“At least Trixie’s character’s trapped in a dungeon. We could do some quest-findin’ in the local tavern, then?”

“Nothing too big though. Taymer-Eel guards keep witches in the dungeon for a month before they move them to the penal colony of Arzkabell, so we’ve got lots of time. Hope Trixie doesn’t mind.”

“I reckon. Speakin’ of Trixie, why’s she missin’ out? I thought Ogres & Oubliettes is her favorite game in the world!”

“You know Trixie: Always looking for a way to spice things up with more magic. That’s why she’s Trixie the Great and Powerful!”

“And how exactly is she bein’ Great and Powerful right now?”

“Taking a trip to Equestria and taking an O&O guest session there. See how the locals do the fantasy genre in a real-life fantasy world. She’s so smart like that!”

---

“So you’re telling Trixie this campaign is set on present-day Earth. With humans.”

“Why, yes, you cross-dimensional transplant. That is par the course for your world’s Witches of the Shore diversifying their portfolio. What did you expect, Miss Great and Powerful? Something we’re all used to like, oh, I don’t know, a magic fantasy land?”

“Oh, well, why, yes, Discord the Lame and Miserable! I came here to learn the best of the best in the most magical environment possible! I even have this world’s Big Mac and Spike to bring about maximum magic knowledge!”

“Uh, I signed up to be Garbunkle the Prench Mad Scientist just to enjoy an Earth campaign. Also, shouldn’t you be asking Twilight for maximum magic knowledge? She is the Princess of Friendship, a librarian too, and a crazy powerful spell-caster. ”

“Anyway, I didn’t come here to be regaled by scenarios in boring old pre-magic Earth. Discord, you’re the one with all this powerful chaos magic—that’s what I’ve heard around town. Show me how magical this game can really get!”

“Even though you have actual magic in your world now?”

“Yes!”

“You are an idiot.”

“Prove it!”

Talons snap, a bright flash is had, Trixie is gone.

The rest of the playing party check their surroundings, wearing the costumes of their main campaign characters.

“Uh, Discord?”

“Who is Discord? This is Captain Wuzz speaking, Garbunkle. I am the archer who’s taken away Trixie and, thus, destroyed her silly idiocy over tabletop gaming.”

“In simple Ponish?

“In a heavily-guarded dungeon over the hill, Spike. Multiple ways of approach to satisfy your creativity: come in weapons blasting like that crowbar nut or sneak around like some solid snake. Either way, Trixie will face the most cliched fantasy military operation possible, complete with inept guards, treasure chests everywhere, and—no offense—full-grown dragons.”

“Discord? I know you’re not exactly the nicest person in the world, but isn’t this a bit too harsh?”

“It’s a win-win situation! We can weld this snippet into our campaign’s canon while having a jolly old time, and Trixie gets to realize that the point of all this is how much fun you have, no matter the setting, in-universe or otherwise! I’m sure her playmates back on Earth will appreciate her change of mind. Now, Garbunkle the Mad Wizard and Sir McBiggun the Fresh Knight of Apple Air, we have a poor wretch to save. Let’s get to adventuring, shall we?”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

First lesson of Equestria: Do not taunt Happy Fun Draconequus.

But yeah, I can definitely see WotCS reviving d20 Modern in the wake of the change. After all, that's the fantastic, unattainable setting these days. Though swapping nationalities for races could be tricky in terms of justifying the crunch. Do the Prench get a penalty to saves vs. fear?

[Venerable Ro]

Yeah, making life difficult for the DM never ends well. Luckily, Discord has a sense of humor.