The Little Curiosities

by Comma Typer

Starkest Madness, Averted

Before the mall opens, Juniper Montage and Sight See look at their boss, Eleven Film, sweeping the floor of a theater as its big silver screen looms over the three uniformed ponies.

“…so we got word on Wednesday that some spots are open for a brief internship with a couple other big mall cinemas for diplomatic and cultural exchange with Equestria. Everyone else’s gobbled up spots for all the other places, though—just got that e-mail this morning—so it’s us Flixiplex Cinemas with the Dragon Lands.”

“What’s our deal?” Juniper asks, flailing her hooves about. “Isn’t that exciting? You get to introduce a whole new world the wonders of high-definition E-BIG films!”

“Don’t you think that’s scary?” Sight See smugly asks with a raised brow. “It’s another world with magic, and it’s all propped up with portals, as if dealing with magic as ponies here isn’t bad enough.”

“Precisely,” Eleven says, “which is why everyone else declined the offer… but we can’t just throw away the chance to engage in something historical to someone else.”

“Which is why you’re here to give us a pitch on why it’s a-okay to send us to a land of dragons and teach them the magic of film—“ and Sight See groans. “Hey, don’t the ponies already have films?”

“They’re technologically lacking,” Juniper replies. “Their most advanced movies are comparable to ours back in the sixties. They’ve got very few cassettes, no CDs nor DVDs… they strangely have 3D glasses, but that’s more like a schizo tech thing than anything else in their world, not to mention that—“

Eleven gives her a look.

And Juniper blushes and grins. “Whoops! Heh, got carried away.”

“That’s alright; at least your enthusiasm is much appreciated.” With a sigh, “But I still want to volunteer you for the job and give you a choice. I do understand if it’s way out of your paygrade—going to Equestria and then traveling to the Dragon Lands with all those scary dragons, their volcanoes, and their lava and sulfur… but the Dragon Lord is more than willing to pay volunteers a hefty one-sum ‘cause she said she wants to help advance the Dragon Lands with Earth tech.”

“How’s film gonna do that?” Sight See asks with a shrug. “They’re just gonna watch our movies and then make dragon films?”

“I honestly have no idea, but the Dragon Lord is the Dragon Lord for a reason, and I’m in no position to question the leader of aggressive fire-breathing lizards about her intentions.”

He gives the both of them an asking look. “So, you up for it? If for nothing else, it’ll look very good on your resumes: establishing cultural relations and exchange with the Dragon Lands! Doing the same with a bunch of breezies doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?”

The two employees share a glance, although it’s mostly Juniper grinning and squealing at Sight See.

That’s the cue for Sight See to back away from the excited mare. “Oh no, Juniper… yes, more money’s good, but not at this rate! I may be an Earth pony, but I don’t think I can survive some jerks throwing me around for fun! And they’re predators! How can they—“

---

“—treat me so well?”

And, in the middle of a stinky molten landscape of barren rocks and erupting volcanoes, standing inside a temporary spherical building fit for the most optimal on-the-go E-BIG viewing experience, Sight See still has his eyes stupidly wide open at the crowd of dragons leaving the cinema, chewing on popcorn and all.

They aren’t badmouthing the movie—a sci-fi adventure about trekkers hiking in some galaxy’s stars—so he breathes a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat off of his brow.

“See?” Juniper begins as she leaves the cinema and enters the reception with the popcorn machines by Sight See’s side. “We’ve weathered the storm and brought filming civilization to these folks!”

“I still don’t get the point,” Sight See says, long-working fatigue straining his voice. “They’re still dragons. They burn fires so hot, one of them’s manning the other popcorn station for gems—“ at which he points at Smolder spewing flames at some popcorn seeds for the last few customers leaving the cinema. “Face it, Juniper, let’s just treat this as the ladder to some better jobs, then—“

“So you’re the Earthlings they sent here, right?”

And the two ponies look up at the Dragon Lord herself, standing tall over them despite being smaller than most of the other dragons they’ve seen so far.

While Sight See gulps, adrenaline gripping his heart, Juniper lights up with a smile. “Yup! How’d you like Earth theater, Miss Dragon Lord?”

And Ember taps her chin in thought. “It’s… interesting. The movie’s fine and super crazy… Those are the fairy tales you give your young or something, no?”

After some enthusiastic nods from Juniper, “Well, it’s good to know what you humans… uh, former humans do. Culture and all that, with your lasers and spaceships and harnessing the power of the sun.”

Sight See smiles smugly. “Oh yeah, we’re a very powerful intergalactic species—“

“It’s mostly fiction!” Juniper says, shoving her head in front of Sight’s. “The movie, I mean, not our culture… but yeah! Th-thank you for gracing us with your presence!”

Ember rolls her eyes at the over-respect. “That’s fine, that’s fine… oh, and I shall soon pay a visit to your theaters and coliseums. You’ve shown us some of your stuff, so we should be showing you some of ours.”

Sight See gulps as endless terrifying possibilities assaulted his imagination. “Stuff like…?”

---

“...and one more time, it’s the Dragon Bowl! May fortune forever be in your favor, fighters!”

And Ember needs no microphone to drop, for her voice alone carries across the Saddle Amphitheater and beyond, setting the stage for the two armor-clad dragons to duel with each other on ground and sky, with hundreds of ponies and other creatures watching on the seats.

All while Sight See serves popcorn and soda alongside Juniper, scared for his life at this piece of reciprocal cultural exchange, the two fighters beginning with spewing fire right at each other’s faces…

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

All while Sight See serves popcorn and soda alongside Juniper, scared for his life at this piece of reciprocal cultural exchange, the two fighters beginning with spewing fire right at each other’s faces…

Ah, the traditional challenge and response. On the one hand, the fighter who can maintain his fire longest certainly gains important bragging rights, but the contest can also leave you winded right at the start of the bout if you're not careful. Sight See is very lucky to witness this, 'tis truly a magnificent spectacle.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

Wonderful! Though, I can't help but feel that Changeling actors might potentially crash the movie industry. Why shell out the cash for Sir Hat Trick Steward or someone like that if Mandible or Proboscis can shapeshift for minimum wage?

[FanOfMostEverything]

they strangely have 3D glasses, but that’s more like a schizo tech thing than anything else in their world

The golden age of 3D cinema was 1952-54, so it's not that strange.

a sci-fi adventre about trekkers hiking in some galaxy’s stars

Is there a war on? Possibly some manner of battlestar involved?

And yeah, cultural exchange cuts both ways. Right there in the name. At least the dragons don't expect audience participation.

10884948
Most cut-rate lookalikes are only good for cameos. They may be able to duplicate Sir Hat Trick's appearance, but what about his talent? (And that's before getting into the legal quagmire of image rights.)