The guards outside flinched as a frustrated scream echoed through the dark corridors.
They could pick one lucky guard (not a Flash Sentry , it would be a cliche and no one really wants him) to play with them ,he would start like Twilight that and later unfold
"We're not all perverts like you, auntie," Cadence said flatly. "Not all the time, anyway. Now hurry up and pick a card, I've got a game to win."
If you say so.
Cadence opened her mouth to shout a denial, then closed it and shrugged. "Eh, technically they were Thestrals, but I guess it still counts."
... You worry me.
"It is," Celestia smirked, only to be walloped off her hooves by a cake that set a new world record for dessert speed.
Nice aim.
"Isn't that your countdown until Twilight freaks out every time you send her a letter, sister? Luna asked Celestia.
Twilight's smile shifted into a dark scowl. "Funny. I thought it was the time it took for the two of you to start bickering whenever you're left alone in the same room."
Both?
Twilight just gave her a flat look. "I spent a lot of time in the castle when I was growing up, and so did Blueblood. One night he got it into his head that he liked the idea of having a slightly post-pubescent nerdy mare nearby, and decided to make a pass at me in a way that was… let's just say 'not very subtle'."
... I see.
"It's fine, Celestia," Twilight said with a quiet sigh. "It was years ago, and believe me he learned his lesson."
Did he now?
"That every pony that meets you suddenly loses their carnal appetite?" Luna said flatly, then she tapped her chin. "Ah, I see my mistake. The question only said 50%, not 100%. In that case I'd say Twilight's badly written smut stories."
"They're not badly written!" Twilight cried indignantly, flaring her wings. It took her a second to realize what she had said, but by then the damage was already done.
Care to admit something?
Celestia snorted then clamped a hoof over her mouth. "Ahem, sorry. I shouldn't really laugh at that."
"To be fair, it's probably true," Cadence sniggered.
Still.
The guards outside flinched as a frustrated scream echoed through the dark corridors.
Welcome to the life of guarding a princess.
Sorry for the wait, enjoy this little slice of demented life!
" Good question ." The group shivered involuntarily at the sheer venom in Celestia's voice. She drew in a slow breath through her nose and slowly got to her hooves. "Please excuse me for a moment. I'm going to rip my nephew's balls off and shove them down his throat ."
10473659 I mean, she's only third best among the princesses, behind Luna in first and Cadance in second... But that's a close race. Also doesn't take into account all the non-princess ponies. Fluttershy, Marble Pie, Kerfuffle, Flitter, Aloe and Lotus Blossom... Granted, most of those are just in the cloud, but Fluttershy is my fave above all.
10473924 It's always fun to see stories where the princesses aren't lily white goddesses. 10473202 I think he meant list. I think. Don't quote me on this.
"And I still think that that would have been a terrible idea," Celestia countered. "He's already arrogant, the last thing he needs is an ego boost from getting private lessons from the Princess of Love. Besides, if I had let you near him I guarantee that I would have walked in on him porking you at some point, and I'd really prefer not to see that thank you very much."
I’m now very curious as to what Twilight did to Blueblood, as well as whether or not her smut is any good. Like, is it well-written, is it kinky, is it just plain bizarre?
Questions that will haunt me for at least fifteen seconds.
Okay, yo GOT to let us know what she did to BB one of these days.
Yaaaaaay, new update!
10473152
Agreed. I love hearing about bastard Bluebloods suffering
Good to see the return of the pretty purple perverted pony princess and company :)
Also, what did she do to Blueblood?
btw
wheedle
like?
10473152
It's more satisfying that we don't.
10473152
lets hear how she made him suffer
10473202
Fixed, thanks!
10473152
10473157
10473213
10473207
It won't be included in this fic, but I may incorporate it into a future spin-off!
They could pick one lucky guard (not a Flash Sentry , it would be a cliche and no one really wants him) to play with them ,he would start like Twilight that and later unfold
There is another B that can be Blue other than blood![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
If you say so.
... You worry me.
Nice aim.
Both?
... I see.
Did he now?
Care to admit something?
Still.
Welcome to the life of guarding a princess.
Oh I did!
10473152
1. Twilight points and says in a falsetto voice, "I don't do miniatures."
2. Twilight points and laughs - loudly - until Blueblood slinks away.
Okay, now I'm imagining what would happen if Twilight and Cadance ended up finding Trixie in that part of her library
Doomguy approved.
Oh man, this is something I definitely needed on a work break to read for a laugh.
So glad you’ve written another chapter; hope to see another soon.
IT LIVES!
You know it, Cadance.
Oh, come on, Luna. I'm sure somepony likes Celestia. I find her attractive, at least, if less so than you.
10473585
A fellow sun lover. SOL INVICTUS!!!
Those poor... poor guards
How is Blueblood still alive at this point?
10473659
I mean, she's only third best among the princesses, behind Luna in first and Cadance in second... But that's a close race. Also doesn't take into account all the non-princess ponies. Fluttershy, Marble Pie, Kerfuffle, Flitter, Aloe and Lotus Blossom... Granted, most of those are just in the cloud, but Fluttershy is my fave above all.
When im feeling down i just reread this story and my day just seems a whole lot brighter
10473460
Rip and tear.
10473924
It's always fun to see stories where the princesses aren't lily white goddesses.
10473202
I think he meant list.
I think.
Don't quote me on this.
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
Plausible, believable, and absolutely hilarious.
Most excellent.
Bork Bork
Hilarious jokes and i like the little side stories and conversations that go with the jokes
The fandom needs this, the world needs this. You, good sir, are doing the lord's work.
I see no score sheet at the end of this one.
10478406
Fixed, thanks!
10478518
No problem my friend.🐵
Excellent
She's a nerd, of course she has her own smutfics.
Rooting for bookbutt!
Oh it will be phrased like that![:rainbowlaugh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowlaugh.png)
To be honest, growing up around at least three of these four, is it any wonder Blueblood is a little screwed up?
lol at twilight's smutfic
I’m now very curious as to what Twilight did to Blueblood, as well as whether or not her smut is any good. Like, is it well-written, is it kinky, is it just plain bizarre?
Questions that will haunt me for at least fifteen seconds.
Priceless Author notes![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
![:unsuresweetie:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/unsuresweetie.png)
Indeed Land Mines have that effect