Cozy Glow and Tirek talk about stuff
“What did I do to deserve this?!” Cozy Glow yelled at the top of her lungs within the depths of Tartarus.
“Could you please shut up for just one second?” Cozy Glow’s former pen pal now roommate Tirek pleaded.
“Oh, golly!” Cozy giggled. “I’m sorry Tirek. I was only trying to vent out my frustration.” Cozy continued to smile. “That, and its fun to annoy someone 1000 years older than you.”
Tirek sighed sitting in his cell staring at a stone wall wondering how much longer he’d have to endure this nonsense. He’s an evil magic stealing centaur locked up next to a 3 year old for crying out loud! How did he let this happen?!
“For the record Tirek, I’m 10.” Cozy Glow deadpanned. Apparently Tirek said that last part out loud.
“I don’t care how old you are… just leave me alone!”
“And why should I do that? Look, T-Rex…”
“It’s Tirek…” he corrected
“Whatever… I’m bored beyond belief and I could really use a good conversat…”
“Fine!” Tirek snapped. Realizing that anger would resolve nothing, he took a deep breath to gain his composure. “(Sigh) what would you like to talk about?”
“Oh! How about you retell the time you almost took over Equestria?” Cozy suggested.
“Well, it’s a long story…” Tirek reminisced.
“I’ve got time.”
“Well I don’t!”
“Would you like it if I told you about myself first?”
“It’s not like you’re gonna give me a choice…” Tirek mumbled
“Great!” She exclaimed. “I love making friends, I love the holidays, I love helping ponies, I love singing songs, I love talking, I love playing chess, I love…
“Stop!” Tirek yelled out in an effort to stop the irritating pink Pegasus filly from continuing her ramble. “Look… you don’t have to put up an act for me… I know none of that is true… “ the Centaur paused and took a glance at Cozy’s cutie mark to find a rook. “Except maybe the chess thing.”
“Golly Mr. Tirek, I don’t know what you mean. Why would I ever lie to anypony about something like that? Afterall, I’m only just a cute and huggable pony! What could I possibly gain from being dishonest?” Cozy made a cute face to make her point.
“Come on Cozy! why do you feel like you need to act this way towards someone who is just as evil, if not, more evil than you are?! “He reasoned
“Umm…” Cozy Glow thought to herself for a moment. Should she really just be herself around this crazy centaur? After lots of thinking, she realized that she’s got nothing else to lose. I mean, it’s not like she’s gonna be leaving Tartarus anytime soon. With a reluctant sigh, she gave in and started talking. “Because lying and being manipulative is what I’m best at!” She said with a mixture of sadness and proudness. Tirek looked confused. Cozy realized the she might need to be a little more specific. “Ok, look. Do you see this Cutie Mark?” Cozy points to her flank.
“Yeah. Didn’t we, like, establish your love for chess 100 times already?” Tirek said looking unamused.
“Chess is completely irrelevant to how I got my mark Tirek.” Cozy explained. “I actually found out about chess because of it.”
The more she talked about her mark, the more intrigued Tirek felt. “Well, how exactly did you get your cutie mark anyways?”
“Gee, I thought you wanted me to zip my lips Mr. Tirek.” Cozy viciously grinned at him. “Wasn’t I an annoyance just a couple of ‘minutes ago’?”
“We’re gonna be trapped here for a while.” Tirek reasoned. “As much as I hate talking to Ponies, it might be good for us to get to know one another.”
Cozy giggled again along with a few snorts in between laughs. “Silly Tirek.”
Tirek did not look amused in the slightest. “What’s so funny?”
Cozy’s laughing intensified. “You!”
Tirek looked away as he started pondering how the heck he got to this point in life. He was talking to a little girl trapped in a cage within Tartarus. Not to mention, she actually seemed to be mentally insane. He looked back at Cozy Glow.
“Just tell me how you got your cutie mark…”
Cozy stopped laughing only barely being able to contain herself. “Gee, I’m sorry Tirek, I just found it funny how one of the most biggest threats Equestria has ever encountered wanted to get to know me on a personal level!” She said with a smile. “But anyways, since we’re already trapped in Tartarus, I suppose it’s ok if I tell you.”
Tirek looked confused “Is it a secret?”
Cozy giggled “No silly, it’s just that, I rarely tell the truth.” She explained. “I don’t usually trust anypony but… you’re an exception. Anyways, I’m an orphan. I lived at an orphanage my whole life… until I turned 8 years old that is.”
“So…” Tirek started. “How did you manage to escape?”
Cozy have him a questionable look. “What makes you think I escaped?”
“Because I know a devil child when I see one…”
“Oh…” Cozy giggled again. “Well, your not wrong. I certainly hated it there. Everypony treated me like a 3 year old. I know I was the oldest one, but I’m not stupid like those little brats…” Cozy said with venom. “Although, I guess I kind of have to thank them!” She changed moods quickly to that of happiness. “Without them, I wouldn’t know how easy it would be to get ponies to do what I want!” She laughs maniacally.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“Those little rug rats made me realize what I was doing wrong all along!”
“You weren’t wearing a diaper?” He said with a knowing smirk.
“Yes! Exactly!” Cozy said proudly before realizing what he actually said “What? No, you moron! I wasn’t cute enough. The ponies who were cute were the ones picked to have a home, the ponies who were cute were fed first, the ponies who were cute were played with first, they even got to choose what story they wanted to be read out loud for them in story time! Just… because… they… were… cute! I can’t tell you how tired I am of listening to that Clifford book! We get it, he’s big and red, so what?!
Tirek couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this story was. She seemed so serious too. Tirek felt like he should tell her to stop, but thought it to be amusing to let her continue her rant.
“I so desperately wanted to do things meant for my age, but the toddlers always managed to overrule me.” She said with clear hatred. “That’s why I changed the way I do my hair, voice, appearance, and so on. I thought that if I combined my cuteness with my intellectual personality, I could be manipulative and get ponies to do things my way! After doing a lot of research, I was able to make friends with everypony at ease. That’s how I got my cutie mark.”
“So… how did you get to the point where you got rid of all the magic in Equestria?” He wondered.
“Gee Mr. Tirek!” She said in her go lucky happy voice again. “Who knew you’d be this invested in my life story?!” She giggled some more.
“Don’t push it…”
“Just be patient Tirey, we’ll get there!”
“Don’t call me that…” Tirek expressionlessly stated. “I still don’t understand though. Making friends to gain power? Being cute? You have no idea how stupid that sounds.”
“Well then, let me ask you this?” Cozy smugly said. “How did you lose against Twilight and her friends?”
“Because they cheated?”
“Keep telling yourself that buddy!” She said smiling. “I hate to be a downer but, they won fair and square!”
“Whatever… just tell me how you think they beat me.” Tirek said.
“It’s because of the Elements of Harmony! Don’t you see?” She explained. “Look, going to Twilights school taught me a lot about friendship and how it can be used for evil and power…”
“I still don’t follow…”
“Those ponies are foolish… they talked about the magic of friendship, and how special it is… but I know better!” She maniacally stated. “The Elements of Harmony works because of, bleh… the magic of friendship… personally I prefer the term, the Power of Friendship! Anyhow, they used this power against you. From what I learned about the battle you and Twilight had, you made a deal with her. You’d free her friends from being held captive, for the price of all four of the princesses magic. She accepted the trade and still won. You know why?” Cozy looked at him with a smirk waiting for Tirek to fill in the blanks.
“It’s because…” Tirek began attempting to answer.
“Yes?” Cozy urged him on. “Go on?”
“They cheated?” Tirek guessed.
Cozy facehoofed hard… “No you numb nut!” Cozy irritatingly criticized. “It’s because as long as she had her friends by her side, she could accomplish anything! Golly, For an evil Centaur you’re really moronic…”
Suddenly, the pieces started to come together in Tireks head “wait a minute… I think I got it! She beat me because her friends were there to help her!”
Cozy look at Tirek with a stoic expression on her face. “Congratulations!” She said sarcastically. “You just won a trip to the island of commonsense. The only place perfect for those who are level headed Centaurs like you…” Her stoic expression returning.
“I’m sorry, Cozy, but the last time I checked, you lost to them too.”
“Th-that was different!” She blushed. “I got rid of everypony important so no one could get in my way! Clearly, it was too soon for me to act so cocky. I should’ve checked for more variables.” She murmured.
“So…” Tirek cocked his head. “If everypony with power was taken care of, how were you stopped?”
“By six other meddling kids!” Cozy cried. “I mean, the fact that I lost to a bunch of children is gosh darn sad!” She frowned.
Tirek looked down in disbelief. This kid seemed so smart, why was losing to a bunch of kids embarrassing if she herself was only 10? “You realize that they were still probably older than you… right?”
Cozy blushes again. “Be quiet!” She exclaimed. “I came closer to finishing the job then you ever will!”
Tirek laughed at that. Was he really having fun? After all these years of thinking about nothing but revenge, was this little filly making him happy? The only thing that ever came close to being able to make him smile was the thought of taking over the world. Tirek concluded that… as much as he still finds her annoying… she might make living in a cage more bearable. “Keep telling yourself that.” He responded.
“Grrr…” she growled. “If you wanna know what really happened… these kids got lucky. If the tree of Harmony didn’t save them from being sucked by a vortex into another realm, I would’ve won!”
Tirek couldn’t help himself. “You lost to children!” He sang. “You lost to children!”
Cozy began tearing up as her blushing intensified. “That’s not true! Umm… they all got straight A’s so… they were already pretty smart!” She tried reasoning.
A part of Tirek felt like he should stop making fun of her… and the other part felt like he should kick it up a notch. Suffice to say, he agreed with the latter. “Yeah… but guess what?”
She gulped. “Wh-What?” She nervously asked.
Tirek didn’t let up. “Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, Kids…”
“Stop!” Cozy interrupted.
Tirek looked over at the yelling filly to find her practically in tears curled up in a ball. “What? Come on. I was just joking!” He comforted. “You must be pretty sensitive if I got you to cry by making fun of how you were bested by children.” He couldn’t believe he was looking at a child mastermind crying over losing to kids her own age.
Unbeknownst to him though… Cozy Glow wasn’t sad, embarrassed, or offended at all. She looked up with her tear stained eyes and wiped them away like it was nothing. Slowly she began to laugh softly. “Heh… hehehe… ha… hahaha… ha. Hahaha. Ha! Hahaha! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!” Her quiet little laughs turned into big loud boisterous cackling. This frightened Tirek (as it should). “Gotcha!” She yelled at him after her long laughing session came to a halt. She then proceeded to giggle once more.
“What? But… how did… when were you…” Tirek was bewildered. “What just happened?!”
Cozy giggled again. “Silly Tirek! I couldn’t help myself. You don’t know how fun it is to be manipulative.”
“So…” He started “That entire time… you… weren’t really that upset at all?”
“Hmm…” Cozy pondered for a minute. “Nope!”
Tirek was still recovering from Cozy’s change in attitude. “Not even a little bit?”
“Couldn’t care less!” She happily replied.
“Huh…” Tirek was in shock. “You’re good.” He complemented.
“Thanks!” She appreciated. “You just got a taste of what it’s like to be Cozy Glowed!”
Tirek chuckled a bit. “I’m pretty sure that’s not an actual verb.”
“Not yet!” Cozy giggled some more. “Anyhow, this Special talent I have was precisely how i escaped my good for nothing family!”
Tirek had to do a double take on that. “But wait… I thought you said you were an orphan…”
“Oh! I was!” She casually responded. “It’s just that, once I learned to be cute and manipulative, I managed to finally be adopted by this family who I could care less about. They tried teaching me stuff I already knew, they acted like I was a baby, and it just got to the point where I didn’t want anything to do with them.”
“Well, maybe since you acted like a baby to get adopted, they felt the need to treat you like one.”
“But that’s just it!” She fumed. “I don’t need anypony looking out for me. I can handle myself. I just wanted to get away from that horrible orphanage!”
“Huh…” After about a few minutes of absolute silence, Tirek laid down on his sides hoping to get some rest. He shut his eyes ready for his sleepy submission until...
“Psst… Tirek…” Cozy smiled.
“Urgh… what is it now?” He complained whilst getting up to look at his cheerful roommate.
She giggled. “I just wanted to make sure you could see my best friends rock sculpture from over there!” She pointed her hoof at a professional tiny sculpture built from rocks of herself getting a piggyback ride from Tirek.
Tirek was baffled. “How did you even manage to do that? I don’t see a single rock in sight.” He stated. “And furthermore, it’s only been five minutes.”
Cozy Glow shrugged. “Sometimes, you just have to use your imagination to make the impossible, possible!” She delightedly concurred.
Tirek took that newfound idea to light “make the impossible… possible.” he whispered to himself. This of course lead to him making a villainous laugh. Cozy glow soon joined in and before they knew it, they were ready to plot their revenge! But first… they needed to find a way to get out of here…
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This is quite impressive for a first story. There were a few very minor 'hiccups' with regard to tense changing but nothing bad enough to break a reader's train of thought.
You genuinely succeeded in creating a dialogue between both Tirek and Cozy Glow. Of the two, I think you really did a great job with Cozy as you convincingly developed a back story that got told in a fairly natural way. Back stories are often kind of just thrown in, or spoken for exposition. You had Cozy share hers while making it a genuine part of how she was seeking to show her talents to Tirek.
I do hope you got a good grade for this. I'd expect nothing short of a "B" and that is if your teacher / professor is extremely picky.
Great job!
9637611
You have no idea how much this comment means to me. I don’t typically write stories. It took me a long time just to write this story so I really appreciate this comment. I looked at your page and as it turns out, I actually read some of your content and liked it before. It’s a small world out there. But anyways, i got an A- so, Yay! My teacher Mrs. Petersen was actually the first person I opened up to about me being a brony. Since I go to a private school, I have deep connection with all of my teachers which is why I felt comfortable writing my story about My Little pony. Imma be honest, I probably wouldn’t have written this story if I wasn’t assigned to do one. I have the utmost respect for these FIMFiction writers. It’s extremely time consuming to me so, to hear comments like this, makes it all worth it. Thank you so much!
This is a solid effort. You need to work on getting more consistent with your style, but it's hardly incomprehensible. You managed to introduce the characters of Cozy and Tirek such that even someone unfamiliar with them could appreciate their natures and dynamic. Keep practicing your writing; it will get easier and faster as you do it more.
10039533
Thank you so much for the feedback! ☺️ I’m not exactly a writer, so it’s comments like these that make my day.
10040038
I know what you mean. It can feel a bit like shouting into the void when you post something and get zero feedback.
I ended up finding your fic in the 'similar' list while working on my own Cozy Glow stories. I can appreciate someone who gets her voice and behavior right.
10040080
Aww... well thank you! I really appreciate it! 😊
I just looked at your content and my god. You’ve written a lot more than me! 😂 I have this awesome idea for a story revolving around how cheese Sandwhich and Pinkie got married and had a child, but no matter how much I try, I’m never satisfied with my work. i can’t get past the first page because of all this self doubt.
My point is, I just wanted to let you know that I have the utmost respect for writers such as yourself. You’ve just earned yourself a follow from me man. Keep up the good work! 👍🏻
10040226
It's okay to ask for help, you know. If you want an editor to help you get past that opening hurdle, just let me know.
10040254
Wow, really? That’d be awesome! Though I don’t think my problem lies with opening up my story. I can write dialogue just fine, but I have alot of trouble finding the right words necessary to portray what the characters are feeling. That, and giving background information has been a bit of a struggle for me. That’s why this story mostly consists of two villains talking to eachother in cages. It makes it easier for me.
I will say though that my story idea is really freaking awesome. Maybe I’m biased, but I really like it. It’s segmented into different storylines that all later intertwine with eachother somehow. I said It was a pinkieXcheese story, but Tbh, that was only one story arc. I have like 6 more arcs written down. I just wanted to work on one story arc at a time, That way if I ever give up, it could still work as a standalone story. I have the concept of it all down, but my problem is the execution. I’d tell you more about the story, and why I think it could rival some of the classics on FIMfiction, but that’s only if it can have good writing which again, I’m not very good at. I don’t even know if it’s gonna happen anymore. Mostly because, I don’t think I could pull this off on my own. I’m sorry if I’ve been babbling, I’m just really passionate about this idea.
That was pretty good. Nice little one-shot.