• Published 9th Aug 2012
  • 1,708 Views, 31 Comments

What is a Chair? - P0nies



There is no way to apply a standard definition for everyday objects, so what makes a chair, a chair?

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Perception of Reality

In Canterlot, there was a small commotion through the castle as some of the smartest ponies from around Equestria gathered for their monthly lectures. For them, it wasn't as much of a lecture but stimuli for their mind. There was always something new to think about at these gathering of these ponies. Some of them brought new ideas and inventions, and others made them think about life as they knew it to be. It was what a good number of them looked forward to each month, being able to learn something new again. They always took any opportunity to learn as it was always fascinating on how some ponies viewed the world.

Ponies had began to assemble in the Royal Library, sitting at tables that spanned at least twenty feet long, and only four feet wide. They positioned themselves in the seats provided, most sitting in their own little groups of who they favored being around. As the number of ponies that were in the room began to grow, the tables began to fill with every seat that was available. There was almost no space left in the room after everypony had settled in and gotten ready for yet another journey through another ponies mind. But because this session, they would think of everything around them in a new light even if the premise seemed a bit mundane. The library that they occupied was more than any normal library. Stacks of books stood tall next to the shelves, some of their respective spots too far up for the earth pony librarian to reach. Others sat in piles from ponies who were simply just too lazy to put them back where they should have been.

Princess Celestia entered the library, two of her most trusted Royal Guards following close to her on each side. As she walked through the room and towards the podium that stood at the far end, ponies bowed and gave their greetings to her when she passed by. When she reached the podium for her speech to start the meeting, Celestia cleared her throat to get the attention of all the ponies in the room, even though they were already focused on their regal leader. She looked down upon them, making sure that they were in fact ready to start the presentation. When Celestia was satisfied with the attentiveness of the ponies, she began to speak.

“Welcome to the Canterlot Royal library, my little ponies,” Celestia told the ponies who sat in perfect rows at the tabled provided. “Today, we have a special guest for our monthly intellectual lectures. This day, we have Twilight Sparkle from Ponyville on reality and perception. Please put your hooves together, for Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight slowly made her way to the podium from behind one of the many bookshelves, her mane bobbing back and forth as she walked. It wasn't what Twilight usually liked to do, talking in front of a large group of ponies, but she couldn't pass up the chance to let her thoughts on life thrive through the minds of some of the greatest minds in Equestria. Even though it put butterflies in her stomach and tossed her for a nervous breakdown, Twilight walked to the podium with her chest puffed out and her head hung high.

“Hello everypony, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Today, I will be going over some basics on perception and reality. I hope you are all having a great day as well,” she paused, hoping for some sort of response from the crowd. The only thing that came from them was no more than a few coughs and a few clearing their throats. “Well... lets get started then, shall we?”

Twilight looked over towards Princess Celestia, wanting her approval to move on and start her lecture. Celestia gave her a subtle nod, and she continued on. “Today, I ask that you do not engage in conversation with other ponies around you. I ask that you do not speak unless I specifically ask you, for the sake of the ideas presented. This is meant to be an adventure of the mind, and you are along for the ride. Let your mind think freely as we move on through the various ideas that I have to present to you, and it will stimulate your mind as you all have come here for.

“And now, for the main part of this lecture. What is a chair?” Twilight asked them, looking down upon them and hoping for a better reaction than what she received. Some of them began laughing at what they considered to be shear stupidity, and wondered how this could even give them any new ideas. One of these ponies spoke up, annoyed with what he was presented.

“Now Ms. Sparkle, do you have any real ideas for our mind to feast upon, or is it going to be another simplistic question such as this?” Asked a brown colt with a collar and a black tie, an hourglass tattooed on his flank.

Twilight sighed in annoyance. “Now, if this really such a simple question, why don't you define a chair for me?”

The pony huffed, the entire room now staring intently at him awaiting an answer. “Simply enough, it is something that you sit on.”

A smug grin cracked across Twilight's lips. “According to what you think a chair is, a rock is a chair as well.” She replied with a gleaming smile.

“No, a rock isn't a chair,” He retorted. “A chair is something that you sit on, and has arm rests as well as a backrest. That good enough of a definition for you?” He asked her with a bit of anger dripping from his voice.

“Well...” Twilight continued pointing over to a chair next to a stack of books, “Then that is not a chair, right? It has no arm rests, so it can't possibly be a chair.”

The pony put a hoof to his face, annoyed with her constant questioning. “That is a chair too, some chairs don't have arm rests. What is the point of this anyways?”

“The point? It is rather obvious as to what I was trying to say with the question, What is a chair?” Twilight told him. “How can you expect to look at reality and define everything when it is all based upon the perception of your own mind? You can't just look at something and say that you know what it is. This applies with the example of the chair, you kept on changing what you thought the definition was based upon what you saw and perceived. Things can't simply be justified by what you think of them, or even what another pony thinks of it. The only real definition of any given thing in this world and reality is what you perceive it to be.

“What you perceive something to be is the only thing that matters, because if you lived off of what some other pony thought defined certain objects, you would most likely disagree with a number of things that they 'knew' the definition of. It isn't simple enough to look at the world and just say, I know what this is. The world doesn't work that way, and it is even the same with ideas and politics.”

Twilight turned to Celestia and whispered to her, “Nothing here is necessarily you, Princess. Just for purposes of examples.”

Celestia nodded to Twilight. “Very well, carry on.”

Twilight inhaled a deep breath of air before continuing on with her rant. “The thing about power, and the weak and feeble minded is the ease of manipulation. You can't say that you've never swayed the way somepony else views something in order to get them to do something in your favor. We've all done that at one point, and if you say you haven't, that is a blatant lie. Life isn't as simplistic as we are led to believe for the most part. There are ponies out there who purposely hide things from us in order to keep us 'safe'. But what does it mean to be safe, when the way everypony views everything is so different?

“But if it isn't different, then they can control the way society works. They can control what we think of certain things to sway our opinions for their tasks, instead of letting us think with a mind of our own. When we start to think on our own, that's when the oppressors begin to fear us. That is when we start to give the world a meaning of its own that we live by, instead of a meaning some other pony lives by. This all brings us back to the chair. What do you really consider a chair, when what you may consider to be a chair so different from the way everypony else views it?”

Twilight looked deep into the eyes of everypony in the room, whose jaws were now dropped. They had never thought of the world in that way before, but now that they had there was so much to really think about. Speaking in a quiet, soft voice, Twilight asked them one last question.

“Can you really give something a definition, when so many have already defined it?”

Comments ( 30 )

That was very thought provoking (I think that's the phrase xD) and it made me think quite a bit. Again this has been written very well and everything flowed really well. Good job :3

Wow, this fiction had me thinking for a minute about most of the things around me. Especially the chairs :twilightsmile:
This could be good to lecture to a class about reality and perception :twilightsmile:

W-w-what?

I AM NOT SITTING IN A CHAIR! OH MY CELESTIA NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE BEEN LIED TO! :twilightblush:

I liked it.

But who was chair?

Oh great. And now I'll be sitting on my chair and pondering about the universe for another four hours instead of sleeping... :rainbowhuh:

So, does this mean that Twilight is supposed to be the first person to ever do philosophy? This exercise isn't exactly novel, or terribly high-level (as in, it should be taught no more than a year or two into a philosophy degree), so the idea that the Canterlot intelligentsia would never have even considered a similar idea is unbelievable. Also, it just doesn't feel like Twilight is talking. I can't explain it, but basically this doesn't feel like it has to do with MLP at all beyond name dropping Twi and Celestia.

It is well written, though. I just can't say I enjoyed it because it mostly felt pretentious, though I admit I have a prejudice against philosophy for just that reason.

1058985 I understand where you are coming from, and I'm not going to say that this was the best work I have done. I just had an itch to write about that, and decided to do a 45 min. challenge, so I put this out. I could have done more for the story, and I know that. I do thank you for the honest opinion and well thought out comment though. I think I'll stick to my sadfics... when I have another idea for one :twilightsmile:

I like this, and have often thought of things such as this when questioned on the things I believe.

Though I do my best to be courteous of others feelings and mind sets If something is true it is true, it does not matter what I say or feel it just is.
So if I come come to a place where I must tell something that angers or hurts them why is it they so often turn on me?

Would they prefer I tell them a soothing lie that will slowly taint and weaken them rather then a truth that burns like the removal of a cancer but in the end makes them stronger.

What friend would I be if I sought more for them to care for me then I do for there well being? Thus while I try to be as gentle and soothing as possible if in the end I must place my connection with them on the line to benefit them should I hold it back or be willing to set them free?

And yet....
There is another note, even if I believe something to be truth how can I say for sure?
what is true is true, and what is false is false regardless of who we are, we do not decide truth, truth simply is.

But how do you know truth? Have we not all been deceived before?
So I also am careful to not only not hold from my friends what I believe to be the truth even if they may reject me for it.

I also remind them that they themselves are the only ones who can decide if they deem whatever information I have shared worthy of note.

edit:
oh, and also I forgot this
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :pinkiehappy:

The fact that you (in your response to azore24) said that this was a "45 minute" challenge is rather self evident. But not in a bad way, mind you. I suppose, while short because of the circumstance that is was written in, it still has enough in-story context that it can stand up on its own and be counted for. Of course the start to finish is predictably linear, that doesn't make it bad either.

This is something short and straight to a point. Is good. Like sandvich.

1059299 I like your comment. And quite a bit at that. :twilightsmile:

*blinks several times* I...well...uh...my brain may have just encountered a minor explosion. Excellent.

Down with government! Down with Celestia! Down with oppressors! :flutterrage:

... chairs... dictionary... the cake is a lie... thank you for listening

This reads like an author tract. That isn't necessarily a bad thing (as the TVTropes page points out), but you've written the issue as very one-sided. The only opposing viewpoint presented is an elitist jerk of a strawman, which I think detracts from the overall story.

Great story! Glad to see that I'm not the only one who sees things like this (Get it?)

What is a chair but a miserable pile of secrets? Bah, enough talk. Have at you!

Seriously though, a chair is best defined as a piece of furniture desinged for being sat upon as it's primary function, with a back rest.

And secondly this falls into other basic premises, where you overthink things. What is a mountain? An exceptionally large hill. Do mountain's exist? Yes, you idiot, mountains exist! The perception of reality does not change reality in and of itself!

Still a great story, if a bit one sided.

:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:
5 Pinkie + 2 for mind boom.

What are chairs? We just don't know.

I was away from fimfiction for three weeks (doing research with friends) and literally gave a speech about chairs to them sometime during the second week. I forget why.
I come back, and see this... wow...

1064263 Coincidence.... or something more? :derpytongue2:

My mind, has been blown my friend. This isn't the first story I've read by you...I'm going to favourite this story, and watch you. :twilightsmile:

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Welp, that was fascinating! My only complaint is a small nitpick regarding consistency:

But because this session, they would think of everything around them in a new light even if the premise seemed a bit mundane.
Then later we see one of these ponies scoffing at Twilight's mundane premise. Again, this really is a monir nitpick, so there's nothing to worry about. Really interesting fic. It certainly got me thinking.

This is not a comment.

have you ever seen a television show called Perception? it serves as a basic premise for this fic.

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