Road Trip

by MisterNick

Off with a Bang

If it weren't for Harmony's blast into the ground below that slowed their descent Tom and the tree would have been smashed to pebbles and pulp upon impact. Even so once the pair had managed to gather some semblance of the who and the what neither particularly wanted to move. So the rock and tree sat in their crater and surveyed their surroundings.

It was a hellish landscape. They were surrounded by dark black mountains. Several volcanoes leaked lava that flowed in an unending river of molten rock. "I think I should have slowed our decent a bit sooner," said Harmony.

"Why?"

"Well I mean this is ... obviously we've fallen at least a million miles straight to ..."

"No," said Tom as it slowly rolled over the lip of the crater, "It's nowhere near hot enough."

Harmony extended its branches out and wrapped them around Tom who rolled forward slightly and allowed for the tree to climb out of the hole. "Well if it's not ... there ... where are we?"

"Dracoterras."

"Gazuntite."

Harmony cocked its upper branches to one side, "I didn't say anything."

From the shadows of one of the rocks a blue dragon emerged. "I did. Name's Ember. I was the Dragon Lord of these lands."

"Well that stinks. Take it easy. We're trying to get back to Ponyville so ..."

Harmony swatted Tom and then asked, "Why the past tense?"

Ember raised an eyebrow, "You know the fact that I'm talking to a tree and a rock must mean I'm going nuts."

"No no," replied Tom, "It's totally normal. Just ask the residents of Fillydelphia."

Harmony swatted Tom again which caused the boulder to turn back about and bump the tree, "You're the one wanted for multiple felonies there not me!"

"You blew up a cruise liner!"

"Yeah? Prove it. I wanna see that court case," said Tom as it tilted up towards Harmony's upper branches.

Harmony tilted up and noticed that Ember had begun to walk away. "She's leaving," replied Harmony.

"Thank goodness she's a real chatterbox," said Tom, "Now, let's figure out how we're going to get back to Ponyville."

"You know," said Ember over her shoulder, "If you help me regain control of these lands ... I can help you get home. Just a thought."

Harmony hurried to catch up to the dragon without saying a word. Tom noted that some of the trees roots had small red crystals attached to them but said nothing of it. Instead it decided to follow the pair much to its chagrin. "This better be a quick story," said Tom, "I've got things to do."

Ember told her story as they traveled. A month had passed since the dread lich Ping Pong had seized her staff, the symbol of her authority, while she'd been away on a diplomatic mission. When pressed she later admitted that she'd gone to visit the changeling king for the Hive Hop and had wanted to dance with someone who wouldn't turn it into a contest.

"I wanted to do something fun and with less struggling on my partner's part," said Ember sheepishly.

"Gross," said Tom.

"Anyway, I was in the middle of the hully gully when Ping Pong summoned all of the dragons back here. In no time at all," Ember snapped her claw, "They'd been turned into zombies."

"What's a zombie," asked Harmony as the tree tried to shake the crystals off of its roots.

"Typically it's a creature that is raised from the dead and is forced to do its master's will."

"Oh you mean like when ponies are summoned to do work by the Cutie Map and have no choice but to do it right," said Tom.

"Sure," replied Ember with an eye roll.

The trio continued along a winding mountain path until they were looking down at a castle below. It was large and made of a dark granite. At the top of a central tower a robed skeletal figure stretched its arms to the sky. The wind carried it's maniacal laughter followed by a series of chants to some unknown source of power.

"Well it's been fun," said Tom, "I've gotta roll so ... yeah drop me a line tell me how it all went." With that Tom began to roll away.

"Come on Tom this is our chance to make up for all of the things we've done on this vacation."

"You're the one who feels guilty about what you've done. Not me."

"Come on," said Harmony.

"If he wants to go let him go."

"Wait a second," said Tom, "How come you call me a him. I'm a friggin' rock."

"Well, your voice is deeper where as the tree's has a more feminine and lyrical quality to it."

"Wait," said Harmony, "Are you saying I sound pretty?"

Ember blinked, "Is this really the time or place?"

The boulder and the tree both agreed that it wasn't. Tom continued to roll away as until the tree stopped it. "Please Tom. I'll be your best friend."

"I don't need a best friend who wants to stay rooted in one place. I'm a rolling stone Harmony. I gather no moss!"

"Okay if you do this for me you pick when and where we're going next and how."

"What about metal?"

"Smash as much of it as you like. I won't say a word."

Tom tilted a bit and looked at Ember who appeared to be drawing up some sort of plan. "I don't like her."

"Why?"

"She eats crystals."

Harmony poked the boulder, "So what?"

"I'm a White Castle rock okay? We have standards."

Harmony's small branches twitched violently. However, seeing that made Tom finally relent. After a minute or so the pair were back in front of Ember who started detailing her plan of attack and began to list all of the possible weaknesses she thought Ping Pong might have.

"Harmony," interrupted Tom.

"You know it's rude to interrupt," said Harmony.

"Slingshot me right now."

"What?"

"Do it."

Without another word the tree wrapped its branches around large rock and began to swing it. Ember ducked as the giant boulder swung faster and faster until finally the tree let it loose. Tom flew through the air toward the Lich who noticed all to late what was headed for him.

"Here comes the boom," shouted Tom.

Ping Pong shrieked and tried to move but wasn't fast enough. With a resounding crunch the giant boulder landed on the lich and smashed his upper body into dust. Tom turned about just in time to see the lich's legs roll up and then fade away under him leaving the Dragon Staff unclaimed.

Ember, with some effort, carried the tree down to the top of the tower. "Holy smokes! How did you know that would work?"

"Guessed," said Tom.

From within the castle and around its grounds much rumbling and grumbling echoed as the dragons awoke from their trance. When they were clear headed enough Ember explained to them what had happened.

"Well then this is a day of celebration," declared a purple dragon, "The evil lich at last is dead!"

Then as if on cue they began to sing:

Ping Pong the lich is gone

Now we'll sing a joyous song

Ping Pong the stupid lich is gone

Hey let's eat some gems

Then drink fire

And raid pig pens

Ping Pang Pong the lame-o lich is gone.

So it went and as the dragons celebrated and gifts and treasures were heaved upon the tree and rock. "Oh thank you all so much," said Harmony, "But honestly all we really want to do is go home."

Ember laughed, "To be honest you two could have gone home at any time."

"What?"

"Those crystals on some of the roots of Harmony there. They're return crystals. Just smash them and you'll be taken anywhere you want."

"Oh for the love of ...," growled Tom.

"Now now," said Harmony as it wrapped its branches about the boulder, "No need to grouse. We've done our good deed..."

"Let's go back to your house," said Tom.

Without another word Harmony slammed its roots on the ground smashing the crystals. Before the pair knew it they were tumbling back into the cave that Harmony called home only to be stopped by a big black crystal spike that protruded through the ground.

"The heck," asked Harmony as it examined it's cave, "What ... what happened here?"

If Tom could have blinked it would have as it tried to get its equilibrium back. "Looks like your copy got sloppy."

Harmony sighed and glowed as it reabsorbed the power that the doppelganger once held. The tree sat quietly for a bit before it muttered, "They probably think I'm dead."

Tom shook back and forth, "Dead you say?"

"I should somehow let them know that ..."

"What was it you said about anywhere I wanted to go back there?"

The tree slumped, "Now Tom honestly this isn't the ..."

"When, where and how," said Tom with a tone of satisfaction.

Harmony grumbled, "Fine. Where?"

"Follow me."

Tom led Harmony through the Everfree forest until the rock reached the foot of a cliff. Without a word the rock rammed itself against an outcrop of rock. Slowly the rock facade slid down and revealed a cave that Tom rolled into. Harmony followed Tom until they reached the end of the cave.

At the end of the cave was a large triangular metal construct that was pointed upward. The rock pushed another outcrop on the wall and the top of the cliff opened up. "Wh-what is this," stammered Harmony.

"Maud was partly right. I was building a ship but this isn't any ship. It's a spaceship."

"A what ship?"

Tom pressed a button on the side of the ship and made a door open, "I've pieced it back together from various bits I discovered while rolling around the forest."

"How? You haven't the ability to grab anything and you hate metal!"

"Chaos magic and ... I don't hate it when it serves my purposes."

The tree tried to protest but the rock reminded it of what it had agreed to. Harmony sighed quietly, "But ... what of the ponies? What if they can't ... "

The rock pushed a button and started up the music, "They'll find their way. They had before we got here. They will after."

A million suns shine down but I see only one

When I think of you I think I'm over you

I find I've just begun.

"Are you sure," asked Harmony as it slid toward the craft, "Shouldn't we bring someone with?"

"Unless some overly positive freckle faced kid or a surly drunk shows up there's no reason for us to bring anyone," said Tom, "Besides we did our good deed."

The years move faster than the days
There's no warmth in the light.

Without another word Harmony entered the ship. Tom pushed the button and shut the door behind them silencing the music. After a brief countdown the ship rumbled to life and blasted through the opening in the top of the cliff.

It was rough at first but once they were clear of the planet's gravitational pull, Tom and Harmony looked out the front of the ship quietly in awe. "It's so beautiful," said Harmony quietly, "But where do we go?"

"Where ever we want," said Tom, "Nothing can hold us back now."

... the same stars in the sky. The days seemed so much kinder when we watched them you and I.

Comments

[MisterNick]

9549637
Thanks!

[MisterNick]

9564823
It was the only way I could figure how to get the tree out. I'm just glad it makes as much sense as it could.

[Yoshifan30]

It looks like the tree of Harmony has its own name tag you can use