Three Worlds

by CookiesOnFridays

Twilight Is Best-Mini-gun?

Chapter 3- Twilight Is Best Mini-gun?
(Note- Hmmm… DERP! This may get a little serious… But meow!)
(*** means Team Fortress 2 POV, --- means Skyrim POV, [[]] means Ponyville POV)
(WARNING- Lots of cursing :3)
[[]]
The mysterious voice of the announcer rang around the battlegrounds once again, “Mission begins in thirty seconds…”
“Come on fellas, the bomb ain’t going to stop itself!” The Engineer replied as he quickly set up a teleporter.
The entire Red team sighed in frustration as they advanced toward the enemy lines. Everyone, except the six mares…
Although Fluttershy did act up like a monster not too long ago, she went back to her shy self and continued to play with the new equipment the Medic gave to her.
Although the explanation from the entire Red Team was very unclear, but they seemed to get the gist of the thirty second answering time. The six mares asked if they could help but the entire team refused (they also learned their called humans), since they were pretty itty bitty ponies.
Applejack stomped her hooves, “This ain’t fair! Why do they get to do these kind of things and we have to hang around here?”
Twilight shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean, they seem like good people-“
There was the sound of incoming projectiles and a loud ‘bang’ could be heard from all the way across the map. Also the sound of agonizing screams echoed back and forth the mountain tops, creating the imitation that resembled a cursed spirit.
“I stand corrected…” Twilight said as she rubbed her mane.
“Well we have to do something!” Rarity said as she tried looked around for anything to use to help them, “That man with a suit seemed like such a gentlemen-“
Rainbow Dash snorted, “Gentlemen? He said ‘mentalgen’! Sounds like to me he’s a bit special in the head.”
“Well what can we do? They were also c-carrying w-weapons.” Fluttershy stammered, “They had knives, g-guns, s-swords, rockets, a-and even more guns!”
“If they have to use deadly force the other ‘team’ wouldn’t be friendly right? I’m sorry girls, but as much as I want to make friends with them, I also don’t want to risk my life… I mean, sure we had a few close calls. But this situation is different. We could get killed from a mile away!” Twilight exclaimed as she waved her hooves back and forth.
“I just want to throw a party for them! I mean, where’s the cupcakes around here!?” Pinkie said as she opened the closets of all the classes.
Pinkie frowned as she took out something that looked like a sandwich, “Really…? A sandwich!? And what’s this stuff?” Pinkie said as she took out a tender, floppy piece of a pink like thing also known as meat.
Before the other five mares could take notice, Pinkie shrugged and stuffed the entire sandwich into her mouth.
“Hey look girls the stuff of the humans!”
Rarity was the first to take notice of the nine different closest and proceeded.
“What is this?” She said as she looked inside the Spies closet and took out what seemed like a diamond encrusted switch blade, “Oh my… Such beauty, no I mustn’t… But…”
Rarity took hold of the knife and continued to rummage through the spies things.
Rainbow Dash was the second one to notice the interesting things inside the mysterious closet of the classes and proceeded to what seemed like the scouts class, “Hmmm… That guy was pretty fast… But…”
She took a set of what seemed like the Scouts clothes and weapons which was a double barreled shotgun, a pistol, and a bat. “I bet I’ll be faster than that ground runner!”
Applejack came to the closet of the Engineer and peered inside. Despite having respect for other ponies privacy this was wrong. On the other hand these ‘things’ weren’t ponies they were called ‘people’. Applejack shrugged and bucked open the closet to reveal a huge assortment of blue prints which she read out loud.
“Hit metal case with wrench, hit with wrench, hit with wrench, continue to hit with wrench, hit with more wrench, put the dispenser on your ass and say ‘nope’…”
Applejack continued to stare at the blue prints until she looked up and grabbed a pair of Engineer clothes which consisted of a red shirt and dark brown overalls with yellow knee pads with a large yellow glove.
“Dear Princess Celestia…” She started as she put the clothes on, “I didn’t learn anything!” She said laughing.
“Girls, I don’t think looking at other ponies- I mean uh… People’s things are bad!” Twilight said as she tried to get everyponies attention.
Rarity put on her suit despite it being oversized she rolled up the sleeves, “Oh come off it Twilight Sparkle! You know you also want to look at their things, it’s pretty interesting!”
“Yeah Twi,” Applejack said as she placed different kinds of wrenches and screwdrivers into her overall pockets, “These guys have everything!”
Twilight hesitated, than thought that it wouldn’t hurt as long as she gave the things back. ‘It would be more like borrowing!’ she thought to herself.
Going toward one of the closets, she opened the one with a picture of a crosshair with a bobble head on top of it. As she opened it she was amazed with what was in store. She took the long gun with an attached scope with wires leading toward the trigger. Taking classes from Celestia herself she had to learn about the weapons that ponies have created and how they used them to defend themselves in Global History. Taking the gun with care she looked through the scope and saw the crosshairs, but a small bar was right on the bottom right corner of the scope.
“A charged shot…” Twilight said as she took her eyes out of the scope. “Like a bow and arrow…”
Applejack continued to rummage through the Engineer’s things and took out what seemed to be a shotgun, “Oh looky one of them shooting things!”
Applejack pulled the trigger on the shotgun and a loud sound of gun fire echoed through the spawn room including a cry of pain as Rainbow Dash fell down on hind legs and placed a hoof on the now newly formed wound in her chest.
“Applejack!” Rainbow Dash said as she clutched her chest, “You idiot!”
Applejack looked stunned, and finally the realization with the blood pooling out of her friends chest dawned on her.
“Ah no!” Applejack said as she rushed over to Rainbow Dash, “I shot you now didn’t I!?”
Rainbow Dash facehooved herself with her other hoof and cried out in agony as she fell down on her back.
“Somepony do something!” Twilight said as she put on the Sniper’s red shirt and vest.
Fluttershy looked around nervously until she looked at the medigun that the Doctor had. She nervously touched it and approached Rainbow Dash. Pulling the switch of the medigun a stream of red light appeared, attaching itself toward Rainbow Dash. Instantly the wound on Rainbow’s chest disappeared, now coated with new flesh and covered with new light blue fur.
Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy in awe. Then looked at her with amazement, “Fluttershy… How did you-“
“It was medicine…” Fluttershy said as she stared at the medigun, than at the Doctor’s closet.
She opened it and grabbed a white overall. Smelling it with pure delight and placing it on, she squee’d and grabbed what looked like an oversized water gun filled with syringes with the addition of what looked like a saw.
Fluttershy then looked at the now suited up and battle ready mares. She grinned with delight and gave them an eye sight of pure determination.
“Let’s go kick some human ass…”
As the mares exited out of the spawn the rest of the Red Team started coming back, screaming and hollering as the Blue Team laughed.
Instantly, the mares (despite their least of all battle skills) charged out.
Twilight instantly took cover near a pillar and peeped out, cautious not to let any part of her body show. As she pulled back the handle which released an empty bullet shell, Twilight looked through her scope. Her sights were on target with what appeared to be a black human shooting large blue blinking pill’s down the slope. For a moment Twilight hesitated, she thought that he was an alley, but then she quickly realized the evil glare in his eyes. The Red Team was losing, not winning.
Twilight steadied her breath, and formed calculations in her brain. ‘The human was moving at five miles per hour moving to my right. There’s no wind and the heat from the sun should be hot enough to make the bullet go faster with the bullet dropping at 9.78 meters per second, and he seems to be about fifty meters away… That means I will have to aim just at his eyebrows to get a clean shot right through his-‘
Twilight pulled the trigger and a loud bang pierced through the already intense air. But even if the sound was deafening, the sight of the black human falling down and landing on his back was rewarding. Twilight’s aim was flawless and she gave herself a small pat on the back.
‘A clean shot right through his eye.’ Twilight thought as she moved to the next target which looked like an oversized fat man.
While Twilight was shooting others Rarity clicked a button on her watch and instantly, she became invisible. Avoiding enemy fire she dashed through the hail of bullets and entered a large room with what appeared to be the same Engineer as she saw a few minutes before. But this one was wearing blue. The Engineer was surrounded with buildings, including a sentry with its two mini-gun like barrels and a large head which hosted four waiting rockets to be fired at an enemy target, something that seemed to produce metal, bullets, and that same mist that came from Fluttershy’s medigun but with the a blue light. With a spinning metal platform that produced bright light. A figure appeared instantly and trudged away down a staircase.
Her watch blinked as she saw the bright blue lights go down. Taking out a cigarette case (in which she took out all the cigars) she pressed a small button and instantly, she saw a small cloud of smoke engulf her. Rarity with her watch now depleted, walked up the small set of stairs and looked at the Engineer. ‘It looks like it’s working…’ she said to herself.
Disguising herself as a pyro she approached the engineer and his buildings with ease. As the Blue Engineer looked at her and gave her a small grin he said, “Alright Pyro buddy! Look after my stuff while I go out and help with pushin the cart!”
The Engineer avoided the mare and preceded downstairs which he exited leaving her alone with the buildings. Wasting no time, Rarity took out a sapper and placed it on all the Engineer’s buildings. Creating a large spark that halted all the buildings processes of continuing anything.
“A Spy!” Called the Engineer as he rushed back inside to see his buildings blow up in pieces.
But as he looked around he didn’t see anything. Shrugging his shoulders he scanned the area for anything that might’ve caused a threat.
Little did he know that Rarity was right behind him, as she uncloaked, she took out the diamond encrusted knife and expressed disgust.
“What kind of outfit is that!?” She said before plunging the knife into the Engineer’s back.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was running around a Blue Scout who was holding back tears as he franticly fired his weapons at the light blue mare.
“Oh come on!” Rainbow Dash said as she flew around the air dodging every single shot the Scout fired at him.
Rainbow Dash just laughed and slapped her knee, “You suck!”
The Blue Scout stopped firing and sat right on his ass and he cried like a big baby. Rainbow Dash looked sorry for him and landed next to him patting his back.
“It’s okay little blue man!” She said as she patted his back, “It’ll be okay-“
And just like that the Blue Scout disappeared and a sudden notice below her appeared saying, “Player ‘Blue Scunt is a Cunt’ Has Rage Quit”
Rainbow Dash rubbed her head and then punched herself in which she produced skittles.
Pinkie Pie rushed outside holding a mini-gun and started shooting like a mad pony, laughing like an idiot while she did so (Which is awesome!). Countless bodies fell as she approached the now cowering enemies as they ran away. Pinkie Pie stopped shooting and withdrew her gun, waiting for them to come back.
“What’s going on?” She said, “Where’s the party!?”
Twilight appeared beside her and rubbed her mane, “I’m not sure Pinkie, but I’m pretty sure that we’ve won this battle-“
As if right on cue a whole flood of messages appeared on the notice section. And it seemed as if the battle has just begun…
Like an earthquake the ground shook, and a flood of Blue Soldiers appeared as they made a turn to go for the final bomb. There seemed to be hundreds of them as they approached them with rockets blazing.
Fluttershy got right to work and aimed her medi-gun right at Pinkie Pie who was firing her last few bullets at the incoming Blue Soldiers, and a few seconds later her weapon clicked, shooting nothing but air at the direction of the horde.
“I’m out of cupcake ammo!” Pinkie said as she looked around for something to use. Applejack was too far away to get ammo and she was running away, knowing that she was going to die. Rarity was retreating as well because there were too many rockets for her to evade, and Rainbow Dash rushed forward, but quickly came back as rockets constantly chased her away from them.
Twilight continued to fire her sniper rifle until her sniper fired no more, which she tucked away in her back.
“W-What do we do now girls!?” Twilight said waving her arms dramatically.
Pinkie Pie stared at Twilight and grabbed her without warning and started to snip her tail around.
“W-What are you doing Pinkie!?” Twilight said as she protested resisting the feeling to discharge her magic.
Pinkie Pie didn’t answer but instead looked at Doctor Flutershy, “Are you sure this will work!?”
Fluttershy laughed and yelled over the rocket fire, “I have no idea!”
And with those final words, Fluttershy spun Twilight’s tail faster than ever, releasing Twilight’s magical fury of magic bullets which streamed like a waterfall against the incoming enemy soldiers.
Just as a rocket was about to hit Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight, Fluttershy flicked a switch on the medi-gun releasing the same evil glow that the Medic released when he saw Fluttershy.
An evil crimson red covered the three mares as they pulled down every single last enemy they could place a bullet on. And with that they carried on up toward the hill, and stepped on the dead bodies of the fallen Blue Team. Savoring the sweet smell of win (which was nothing but blood and fore) when the announcer said “Victory”
All the humans on Red Team approached outside from the spawning point and stared at the three mares who just claimed victory from the entire server.
“Bloody hell…” The human Red Sniper said as she stared at Twilight.
The Medic just eyed Fluttershy like a crazy mad man, “October Fest?” The Medic said unsure if it was the correct time to say such things.
And the Heavy well, he wasn’t here… He was actually in White Run Castle in Skyrim…
---
“Who do you think you are? Running a rampage against my people, starting fires, creating chaos and destruction everywhere you go! Just what is your name you monster!?” The Jarl of White Run said as she stroked his gold colored beard.
The Heavy looked up with only his head and attempted to move his hands which were handcuffed with a large rectangular chunk of metal.
“My name is Heavy Weapons guy… And you are pootis!”
The Jarl stared at the strange creature and narrowed his eyes, “I’ve never seen such… Such… Such strange Nords like you… Where are you from?”
The Heavy smiled and laughed for a second, he knew the answer to this one! The Heavy took a deep breath and was about to say something, until his brain released a large fart and he made another derp face. The Jarl was not amused…
“One million years dungeon!” The Jarl said smacking the Heavy in the head.
A sexy lady with a silky red dress and shiny black braided hair appeared approaching the Jarl and her hands on her curvy hips.
“Jarl Balgruff!” She yelled piercing her eyes right through the Jarl’s mind.
The Jarl face palmed himself and muttered, “Oh shit…”
The whore approached the Jarl and smacked him in the face with such great forced that it made the next man to be slapped die.
“What is it now!?” The Jarl said as he looked up at the women.
“How many times do I need to tell you to clean up your room after you get out of bed!?” She yelled as she slammed her hands on the throne.
“But mom!” The Jarl said as he stroked his beard, “The servants will take care of it-“
“And you get your lazy ass to this throne and just sit all day! You do nothing, you would’ve been more successful as a scribe!”
“But mom-“
“No buts!” She said as she bore her eyes into her son.
The women might’ve been only forty years old but she was the greatest whore in White Run… That is until she gave birth to an ugly child.
Finally the women stared at the Heavy with piercing eyes, “And you…”
The Heavy stared at the women and just gave her a cross eyed stare, all the while pooting creating a foul smell which flooded the room.
The women seemed to like it, it made her horny. She stripped to her panties right in front of the Jarl and all the guards stared at her warm, delicious body.
“Give me the keys…” She said to the guard who was guarding the Heavy.
The guard didn’t even hesitate as she snatched the keys from his belt and undid the Heavy’s restraints.
“Why don’t you and I go upstairs for some fun-“
Just then the main castle doors flew open to reveal a heaving Nord screaming, “Dragon!”
At that instance all hell broke loose, the Jarl got up from his seat and went upstairs to his room like a pussy, while the rest of the guards charged outside screaming, “For Skyrim!”
The Heavy didn’t know what it was, but he hoped there were sandviches there and followed.
The Jarl’s whore like mother grabbed the Heavy’s wrists and stared at him in the eyes and questioned him with, “Why do you want to do this?” She said pleading for him to stay.
The Heavy stared at the garment wearing women and said just one word…
“Sandvich”
And with that last word, the mother of the Jarl nodded and released her grip, allowing the Heavy to proceed outside to face the dragon.
When the Heavy stepped outside the battle was ragging through the night. There was a flying creature in the sky and he looked him in awe, but then he started to scream “Pootis!” As he sprinted down the stony stairs and toward the main part of town.
“My gods…” A Nord said as he raised up his shield and the dragon stared at him.
“The legends are true! The dragons are back!”
The dragon drew fire from its mouth and fucking barbequed the fucking guard creating the fresh smell of bacon!
The dragon settled himself down in the middle of the town and drew another burst of flames against a group of idiotic Nords who just can’t do shit. But it was blocking the way of the Hoovy who wanted to explore more of the town to find a Sandvich.
The dragon stared at the heavy with its dark bead like eyes and snarled. The dragon breathed in the cool night air and created another roaring stream of fire. But the Heavy easily blocked the attack with his excessive “Pootis, pootis, pootis, pootis” Shout.
The dragon stopped and started to fall back, crashing against a few buildings as it did so. This was the Heavy’s chance; the dragon was caught off guard and probably had the sandvich. As he called upon all the nine classes which were the Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Sniper, Medic, and Spy, he forced a new language to be formed.
He got into his cowboy stance and grinned. Feeling the power now forming into his stomach, he sucked in a big breath of air and shot a hand out with the form of a gun. And as he did he shouted these three words, “Poo-Tis Pow!”
The Heavy sent the dragon flying away, through space, and time. The Heavy smiled but then realized that he fucked up because the dragon had the sandvich. So the Heavy didn’t notice the cheers of all the people around him but instead of cheering he entered the ‘Bannered Mare’ and sulked as he only wanted a sandvich.
“Life’s fucked up” Said a stranger next to the Heavy as the a warm firing slowly burned behind them.
The Stranger took a swig of some kind of liquid and munched on some meat.
The Heavy stared at the stranger and he only said one word, “Sandvich.”
The stranger seemed to know what the Heavy was saying, and while all the people of White Run cheered, the heart of their hero was dying as slowly like a pig in a fire.
[[]]
The hero of Skyrim was advancing toward the next land that was even more filled with ponies. With his new dragon army nothing stood in his way. He captured the glowing pony whose name was Princess Celestia and imprisoned her in a dungeon where he can do whatever he wanted to the Princess. He also took captive of a new Princess known as Princess Luna and with a few bribes, Luna was used as a slave and continued to dust the new Royal Castled which was now named, “Mead Seed”.
The Dragon Born slapped his dragon in the ass as they soared through the setting evening sky destroying cities and forests, killing all the little creatures and only sparing the ponies. He took over New Mane City in less than an hour and continued to rampage the world of Equestria as he was now claimed king of the world. The only things in the world now were ponies and nothing more. He was the kind and he liked it! Next time on the segment of the Dragon Born you will see him as he slaps the ponies faces and yells “Do I need to smack a filly!”
“Oh my gosh he can talk!? Oh my Celestia how and why!? What will the Dragon Born do to Celestia as she’s stuck chained up to a wall in the dungeon!? Stay tuned for there is a lot more in store! The Dragon Born is now Dragon Porn-“
The Dragon Born crashed through the door as the writing was typing his last final sentences before he was going to end the story. He stared at the Dragon Born with sweat coming off his face at brilliant speed.
“What the fuck man!?” The Dragon Born said as he stared at the author with pissed off eyes.
“What?” The author said (Also known as CookiesOnFridays)
The Dragon Born took out his long ass sword and looked at Cookies as if he was a fucking retard, “You made my part of the story end so short! What the fuck man-“
“Hey, hey, hey, chill Dragon Born buddy!” Cookies said as he shifted his chair nervously, “I’m going through some stuff okay? I got high school and I’m in the JROTC. I’m also in different honor’s programs so can you just give me some space-“
“Fuck yo school nigga!” The Dragon Born said as he sliced Cookies computer in half.
Cookies looked at him with shock, “What the hell man!? That was my Alien-“
“Save yo shit!”
And with that the Dragon Born broke the forth wall, killed CookiesOnFridays with his ‘Fus Ro Dah’ and ended his life.
The Dragon Born returned to Ponyville where he lived happily ever after and ruled with all his might… Until the dragons have rebelled that is…
(Authors Note- I got a headache at the ending and I want this to be released by Election Day so I’m just typing what were I wanted. It was a herp and a derp! The Team Fortress 2 scene took me a while to think up. But it was fun! This chapter wasn’t as random as I would’ve hoped. I actually ‘Tried’ to make this which interferes with the ‘DERP’ theme of the story. So I guess I have to stop trying. Next chapter will have explosions and more herps! I hope you all have a good day and I want all you people to click like and comment on the stuff below… Or else the Dragon Born will come and kill you! *Laughs evilly and farts creating the sound of pooting as I fly all the way to the sky*)