Of Booze and Berries

by Saris Daddy

Brown as a berry

Pain...

everything hurts...

a stalk of grass keeps tickling my nose...

why is there grass in my bed?

slowly I tried to open my Eyes and find out what was going on.

the new information flooding my brain just increased the Pain in my head.

with a groan I slowly started to stand up... or at least get myself into a sitting position.
the first thing I saw in front of me, was a piece of marble... a socket for a statue or so.
I kept staring at it and slowly but surely my eyes started to regain their focus.
it was dark...thank god for that.

nothing enrages a hangover brain more than the sun.

I slowly stumbled to my feet, all the while doing my best not to acknowledge my reflection in the marble.
carefully I started to take in my surroundings.
behind me stood a big building like a school or something
'...yeah it is a school.'a voice in my head said
'no Idea why I know this...'
'because I work here...'
'what?'
my inner monologue just confused me more, so I opted to ignore it.
beyond the statue thingy there was a road.

On the other side of the road there where some houses but nothing to unusual.

I started to muster my reflection.
I had become a pinkish woman. red eyes, red hair pinkish purple skin ... a total crime against nature.

I wore a dark skirt which went down to my knees and black stockings below it.
on my feet I wore some comfy looking sneakers.
I also wore a white blouse and a brown woollen jacket over it. which appeared to be hand knit.
If I ignored the fact that my skin was ... Lavender coloured? I was actually rather cute... If I dare say so.

I sat there mustering myself for what felt like hours.
All the while I struggled to make heads or tails out of the whole ordeal.

To make things worse ... I needed to use the little girls room.
And apparently I can't even talk like a man anymore.

Desperate times call for desperate measures

I felt fabric ripping and heard a bird angrily tweeting while I started to make my way into the shrubbery next to the school building.
"... If my students ever find out I'm doing something like this... Sweet sun."
I mumbled to my self while doing what had to be done.

I have to admit that it was different than I expected.
I fixed my underwear back into place and for a moment I marvelled at the detailed stitching on it. A bundle of grapes and a strawberry... Why would anyone hand stitch his underwear... And even one as fancy as this one? Where I always wore cheap discounter boxer Shorts now I was wearing panties that were ... What am I doing talking about my unmentionables?

After finishing my business inside the shrubbery I tried to make my way out as graceful as I could... Needless to say I stumbled and in the end face planted out of the bush.

"Dear moon am I glad that it is dark."
I wanted to leave the school grounds when I noticed a purse, lying close to the place where I woke up recently.

The purse was decorated with the same design that my panties sported.
'so I guess that means this is ... mine?'
With a questioning expression I started to search the purse for clues.
'chap-stick,bear spray, knife,keys, a hip flask... Is that?' I opened the flask a sniffed it briefly and a medical smell attacked my senses. ' homemade coffee schnapps' I took a deep sip from the flask before I knew what happened.
'Drivers license jackpot. Let's see.
So my name is... Really?
My name is Berry? What kind of name is this?' I checked the address on the piece of plastic only to realize that I had neither heard of the town nor could I say that I was in exactly this town to begin with.
So I carelessly dumped the license back into the purse and kept searching in Hope of something... anything that could help me.

And found... a smartphone... An old model with lots of scraps and dents on the case but the screen was spotless.

I unlocked the screen only to see that somebody had called me multiple times. Also I had new mails.

I opened up the first one.

Mommy you are late loveless in hivecity has already begun. But hakuna matata I'm recording it for you.

Mommy? Me?

Hoh boy... Please don't let this be my phone....

I opened up the next mail.

mommy it's getting really late...
I know you and Aunt Luna go way back but you don't have to let her drag you through the bars every Friday evening.
You promised you would only stay for one or two beers.

just to be clear I'm Angry at you and Aunt Luna.

still love you... But I will go to bed now. Be quiet when you get home.

After reading this I felt the most bizarre mix of emotions I ever experienced.
Pinchy was angry with me... And when I read this correctly... Rightly so.
I opened up the calendar app and wrote a note to myself two days from now.
never trust your drunk or hangover self.

Then I opened up Google maps and activated my GPS and found out that my address was just a few blocks away. So I started walking.

---

I stood in front of a small house. my phone said it was my address.
I could practically hear my bed Calling me, like a siren would a sailor.

Slowly I started to climb the wooden stairs leading to the door.
For some reason I knew exactly where to step to avoid making noise and even the key fit into the lock on my first try
I stepped into the living room and let my view wander for a bit.
The room was small and cramped but at the same time it felt incredible cozy. Something in me just wanted to lay down, onto the big comfy looking couch and find out if loveless in hivecity would be as good as I think it sounded.

The wall next to me was literally flooded with pictures of "me" and a small girl with a light pink colouring.
Lot's and lots of pictures... And with every picture I felt more and more like a mommy ...

Somehow I could name every depicted event as if I had been there.
Pinchy’s first bike, her fifth birthday party, our first Christmas...
I don't know if this feelings were artificial or my own...

Maybe leftovers from the women whose life I had stolen... Did I steal her life?
Did we simply switch places?
Lot's of questions bombarded my brain and I couldn't answer even one of them.

Filled to the brim with unsolvable conundrums, my brain simply decided to go offline.