It started when the phone rang.
Moondancer looked over her glasses at the ringing phone and quietly sighed to herself. She grimaced, put a bookmark in the book she had been reading, closed the book, and picked up the phone.
"Um... hello?"
"Greetings, my little pony. It is I: Princess Celestia. How are you?"
Moondancer raised an eyebrow and looked around her home as if expecting to see somepony pop through her window with a shout of "gotcha!" Surely Princess Celestia wouldn't be calling her. It was her voice, though...
"I'm fine, I guess?"
"That is wonderful. Most wonderful. I am happy when my subjects are happy, my little pony."
"I mean I just... huh?"
"Unfortunately, I cannot be happy all of the time. Sometimes ponies don't pay their income tax correctly, my little pony, and I have been going through our tax records and I see that you are one of them."
"Right." Moondancer rolled her eyes and opened up her book again. "I'm surprised that you're calling me yourself, Princess Celestia. I thought you might have somepony you delegated stuff like this to."
"Sometimes I call, my most beloved subject. I feel that a personal touch is best in the interest of not appearing too aloof to my subjects. I love each of my subjects dearly. Each and every one. However, a good ruler must use a strong, guiding hoof, and that means making sure that ponies pay their income taxes."
"Right, right. So how much do I owe you, Princess Celestia?"
Celestia gave a light laugh. "Not that much, my little dearest pony. You owe me four thousand, nine hundred and fifty-five bits and ninety cents. I am sure that you did not intend to defraud me because I find joy in seeing the best in my little ponies who I love like children. However, like any good mother, I cannot let you break rules. I would hate to punish you with ten years in a nasty prison. It breaks my heart knowing that there are ponies who have to go there, and I wouldn't want you to be one. You wouldn't want to break my heart, would you?"
"Oh, no, no of course not," Moondancer said flatly. "That would make me sad, too."
"It is as I said: I strive to see the best in my little ponies. Should you simply pay the amount I will not have to punish you. It is good that you did not do this intentionally. If you had, I would have had to put you in stone."
Moondancer gasped while still keeping her flat expression. "No, no! I wouldn't want you to do that! I'll pay!"
"I'm so proud of you for doing the right thing, my little pony. Now, I am certain that you have a general store nearby. I pride myself on Equestria being a happy, prosperous nation."
"Oh, there definitely is." Moondancer quietly sighed and lit her horn. This farce had gone on long enough.
"Wonderful. Once you are there you should see payment cards. If you just--"
Moondancer finished charging up her spell and shot it into the phone. Unfortunately for the pony on the other end, it had the effect of changing his voice into one that was most certainly not Princess Celestia.
"And then you can... erm... What in the name of...?"
"If you're going to use a voice changer, it's probably best that you change your voice to somepony more believable, or at the very least, study up on their speech patterns," Moondancer grumbled. "Now if you're done, I have a lot of studying to do!"
"Well... I just wanted to use a voice that... you might be more comfortable with. Nopony likes hearing bad news. I am afraid that you do still owe the Equestrian government five thousand, eight hundred and twenty-seven bits and ninety-four cents."
"But you said it was four thousand, nine hundred and fifty-five bits and ninety cents before."
"Oh, uh... no, I had somepony else's paperwork in front of me. Yeah, that's it! So if you could go--"
"Oh just leave me alone," Moondancer grumbled. "Go find somepony else to bother."
With that, Moondancer ended the call.
Yes, it is our thousand. Now pay up.
9305591
Blegh. Fixed.
Imagine he did that voice in the Celestia chapter
9297023
I think Discord would probably be like my #1 option to get these guys caught. He could probably track them down in a heartbeat and not just in the literal way, lol
9305595
And you marked the story incomplete? A glorious day.
The sad part is, this tactic would actually work on some ponies.
I got to admit that this guy is very persistent as even after all of this, not getting a single one he keeps trying. That said if they would just put this much effort into a real job they would be happy. I guess this guy really needs a session or two with the CMC to understand his Cutie Mark after he has paid is debt to society.
9295537
Nah, it should be Time Turn/Doctor Whooves. I wonder how he would handle having the Doctor deal with him?
At least he's persistent as for the change in amounts the interest on unpaid taxes is NASTY
9305602
discord is the closer
That ended less evilly than I expected.
For some, bizarre, unknown reason, I decided to hear the scammer's Celestia voice as HIM from the Powerpuff Girls. Does this make sense? No! The story specifically told me, it sounded like Celestia. But my brain said "Fuck that! I'm going with HIM from the Powerpuff Girls!" So that was an experience. This chapter was probably not meant to be scary. But Him was the only villain that really scared me as a kid and while I don't fear this scammer the way I did HIM, I thought I would tell the comment section the way I read the voice in my head!
Hopefully, the identity is not a bored Devil from the Powerpuff Girls!
At the rate this guy is going, the law of average says someone IS going to call about something, and that poor pony is going to think it's the scammer, and do something humiliating to the "scammer" only to find out to their terror and shock that it WASN'T the scammer after all.
9305731
Great, now I can't NOT hear HIM. Thanks. Now all I see with the scammer is this:
i.ytimg.com/vi/ij0fO1jacAw/maxresdefault.jpg
(The duck is the phone)
At least Moondancer only zapped his voice changer spell to shut it down. It could have been so much worse for him.
As for Discord.
TRace ON ?
Did you really have to include the last part? Now he will try to scam another one.
...
In other words, another chapter will follow someday. I'm okay with that.
Welp, reached the end, now to wait until this updates and we get to see who it is later on, hopefully.
Good show Bronywriter, good show!
9305602
Yeah but he wouldn’t want to because it’d be more funny to let this guy keep trying.
9305763
Thankfully, the law of averages is a logical fallacy, so that probably won't happen.
Either the autodialer messed up, or Legit has given up on Ponyville. In either case, Canterlot's probably the worst possible city to try this scheme in.
Legit, you are in BIG trouble now.
Imponyating the Princess to deceive? That, sir, is a TARTARUS level offense.
You know, it would be funny if the moment Legit finally manages to con somepony would be the moment he gets caught!
9305881
Alternatively, Discord WILL pay the guy.
In custard.
9306178
Okay, the law of russian roulette.
9306546
Oh dear, I hope nobody winds up with a bullet through the brain. Or spell.
Although really, isn't it the phone guy who's been playing Russian Roulette? He keeps trying and trying to scam very powerful, influential, and dangerous individuals.
He should give Cadence and Shining Armor a call, but Flurry Heart answers the phone.
9306292
The custard also contains several dozen microscopic homing beacons.
Which the Equestrian military conveniently has the frequencies to track.
9306753
And they recent got something called a “Minuteman III” from an “anonymous donor”
Wouldn't it be a crime to pretend to be one of the ruling alicorns? I mean Princess Celestia/Luna/Cadence are lovely individuals but trying to scare people like that...wince 😖
9996579
That depends on if Celestia repealed the Lese-majeste laws at some point. Basically, Lese-majeste states that the Monarch can do no wrong and as such, their person and reputation are inviolate
If not, "pretending to be She Who The Sun Rises Because She Makes It So for personal gain" would be a violation of said laws. If the laws had been repealed, then "Impersonating a Monarch" isn't an offense, but, it would make whatever punishment is meted out more severe than if they didn't impersonate She Who Is Shamelessly Incandescent.