Red, White, And Pink

by Snek Eyes

Epilogue: An Epidemic?

"Let me share a revelation I've had."

Agent Smith spoke as he sat in a chair in front of the President's desk. President Pinkie, that is.

"Speak away, my loyal subject!" Pinkie's voice seemingly bounced off of the walls with excitement.

" It is my firm belief that you know nothing about this world. You know nothing about humanity. You just know nothing. Do you realize what you have done to us in the USA?"

"You mean other than throw a great, big, huge PARTY?!"

Confetti was shot from all four corners of the room. Agent Smith jumped in his chair; how did President Pinkie have time to put those there? Was this world, too, a Matrix?

"...President, when did you put those there?"

"That's a secret!" If the grin on Pinkie's face was indication, it would certainly stay that way.

"Back to the point. The other countries in this world are preparing for war because of what you said about terrorism. For WAR. With the United States!" His face darkened.

"Hold on, Smith!" A pink hoof suddenly shot out mere millimeters away from Smith's face. "Let me share a revelation I'VE had!"

"Um. President?"

"Doesn't the United States as an acronym spell 'us'? *GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP*
How do you keep from using the WRONG WORD?!" Once again, a grin stretched Pinkie's face.

One facepalm later, Agent Smith felt a lot of anger towards his actually-inferior "superior". "President! We have more important issues right now! Please focus!"

A microscope appeared on Pinkie's desk, with said pony hunched over. One eye was closed, tongue poking out, hoof moving slowly on the lens. "OK. I'm focused. Now what?"

"THIS is not time to mess around! PINKIE!" Once again, a facepalm and remark later, Agent Smith couldn't believe this pony. He was amazed how stupid she was.

"Lighten up, Smithy! You're getting wrinkles!" Mumbling to herself, she uttered, "Rarity would flip out about that."

"FINE! When you get serious and ready to talk, call me in!" His hands shot up in surrender, and he walked fast towards the door. When he stopped speaking, Agent Smith left the room.

"Such a grumpy pants! Can't take a joke!" Pinkie reached under the desk, and grabbed a laptop. Was it there before? It's Pinkie Pie. Don't question it. She opened the lid, and it opened to a camera. A camera of... Equestria? A certain human walked into view, and noticed the camera.

"I don't know who you are, but you can't run my country better than me." A nasal voice came out, and with the way the wind blew, it looked like the toupee was talking rather than Trump.

"That's where you're wrong, bucko! In one day, I've done more than you ever could!"

"Excuse me, did you write the 'Art of the Deal'?"

"No, but I made Agent Smith walk out in frustration!"

Trump's eyes widened. Was Pinkie lying? "If you're telling me the truth, then I say you're a good hombre."

"*GAAASP!* I'm a good hombre?! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Tell me something, pink pony. Who rules this place?"

"Princess Celestia!"

"You need more trade here. I don't see a lot of import-export business. Everything's domestic. It's bad for business!"

"But we never really needed other countries to trade with. Just to make peace with them!"

An idea got into Trump's mind. "No one makes peace better than I do. Where would Princess Celestia be at?"

"Canterlot!"

"Since you're running my country, I'll be running your country. Thank you. Now go back home to mommy!"

Before Pinkie could say or do anything, Trump was off, looking for a way to Canterlot and make Celestia read his book. Even if Pinkie wanted to cross dimensions to stop him, that could be a bit tough!

Then the phone rang. And rang.

Unsure of what to do, Pinkie pressed the button next to her. Not a moment later, Agent Smith walked in. "President?"

"Um, how does this thing work?" The question from any other being would have been dismissed, but since it's the President asking, and she's from an alternate universe, he would assist.

"Just pick this up and hold it like this." Agent Smith demonstrated while talking to whoever was on the other end. "President's office. Who is this?"

"Is Pinkie Pie there?!"

A raspy voice came from the other end. It sounded like someone had a really bad case of laryngitis. The voice was irritating enough that Agent Smith pulled the phone away from his ear, and decided to show one more feature of a phone.

"President, if you prefer to not hold this, then just hit this button with 'Speaker' above it." Smith did so, and hung up the phone. The same voice came through, asking again, "Is Pinkie Pie there?!"

"*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!* Rainbow! What's up?!"

"I have no idea, Pinks! I saw your picture in the newspaper and did everything I could to call you!"

"Where are you right now?!"

"Hey! Me no habla espanol! Adios!" Aggression took over Rainbow's voice, and both person and pony jumped at how loud the volume was. "I don't know, but I've been wearing this stupid hat for a few days! These people think I run their country!"

Author's Note:

Thanks to user "Droll1" for the initial idea in the comments.

Yeah, this could become a thing, with a better plot and all that. But that means effort, and I'm lazy! Anyways!

Feel free to comment, and have a good one!

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