• Published 14th Aug 2018
  • 333 Views, 6 Comments

Red, White, And Pink - Snek Eyes



Agent Smith walks in one day to brief President Trump on something, but instead finds... a pastel pony? Huh?

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Pinkie Runs The Country (Into The Ground)

"Mr. President, I... Um, where is President Trump?" Agent Smith was confused beyond belief, and for good reason.

Where the president usually sat in his office, a pink pony was leaning back in the chair, her hind legs on the desk and front legs crossed in front of her chest. She had a very curly mane, and it seemed like her tail was just as curly. On her face laid a huge smile, quite literally going from ear to ear. She was wearing the President's signature blue blazer and red tie, and it somehow fit her figure.

"Who's Drumpf? Was he the walking Cheeto?"

The high-pitched, annoying voice grated Smith's ear drums like cheese on a grater.

"Yes, Trump does look orange. He also has a toupee."

"Not anymore! Now Cranky Doodle Donkey has his hair back!" The pony brought her hind legs down and her front hooves onto the desk with a loud *CLOP*. She seemed proud of whatever she said she had done.

"Okay, so Miss- what's your name?"

"Just call me Pinkie Pie!"

Agent Smith should have guessed that the name had the word "pink" somewhere; that was the basically the only color on her body! Other than her blue eyes, of course.

"So Miss Pinkie Pie, do you know where President Trump is?" Nothing was making sense QUITE yet, so the conversation should go in that direction.

"Yepperooni! He came into Equestria, then he called everypony there a 'bad hombre'. I don't know what that means, but it sounded really hurtful!" Pinkie's eyes began to widen as tears threatened to well up and even fall over.

"Miss Pinkie Pie, don't cry. That's just something he says a bit; it's not offensive, I promise."

"You Pinkie Promise?"

Pinkie Promise? There was something named after this pony? "Um, sure."

"Nuh-uh! You have to go through the motions!" She backed away from the desk in the rolling chair. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." After saying the words and doing the motions, only one thing remained in Smith's mind. Confusion.

"...Moving on. So you are replacing President Trump?"

"Well, I guess so. So what's your name?"

"Call me Agent Smith."

"All righty, Smith! What is going on today?!"

The positive energy from the pony seemed to leak into everything.

"Well, there's a press conference in an hour. That's all for today."

"...I don't know what that means, but I am a master at making stuff up!"

***

"One important note of announcement. President Trump is absent, so Miss Pinkie Pie will be standing in for him. That is all. We can continue with the Q&A." Smith backed from the microphone and motioned for Pinkie to come out.

As Pinkie Pie walked on the stage to the podium, there was utter silence over the crowd. It seemed no reporter could take in what was going on. But once Pinkie got to the podium and up to the microphone, the clamoring and camera flashes started like nothing was strange.

Among the yelling of "Pinkie! Miss Pinkie!", Pinkie pointed with her hoof towards a random reporter. "Yes, Pinkie. What do you think about the illegal immigration going on right now?"

"Well, why would immigration be illegal? Why should it be? Let everyone have the whole enchilada! The more ponies, the merrier!"

That response got reporters furrowing their eyebrows and looking to each other. What did that mean? The next reporter that got picked didn't have much time to contemplate what truly was going on, though.

"With the tariffs between the US and China going on, is there any end to it? What do you see the economy doing if it does continue?"

"Ooh! That's a tough one!" Pinkie put a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. Silence once again caught the room. "Well, if they wish to have peace, we should have a nice talk with them. The economy seems stable as it is. Should remain that way." Once again, a point of the hoof and another question.

"Miss Pinkie, what do you think about the inflation and tax increases?"

"Inflation? Isn't that a fetish? The tax increase should only happen if it will benefit the majority of people."

"So you'll talk to the Fed about the tax increase?"

"Hey! One question per person!" Pinkie looked at the time, and saw Agent Smith motioning for her to wrap things up. "Speaking of which, only three more questions! Make them count!" One more hoof point.

"What is your experience before you entered politics?"

"Hmmm... I bake. I give amazing parties. I love making my friends happy!"

Hoof point.

"Pinkie! First off, big fan of yours, my daughter loves you. Second, how will you deal with domestic and foreign terrorism?"

"AWWW! I love you too, random reporter and his daughter!" Once the second question began to truly register, Pinkie's hair began to straighten. Pupils began to dilate. "...I don't think we can help them. If they hurt us, we gotta hurt them, ya know?"

"So, retaliation and send troops in?"

"NO MERCY! LAST QUESTION!"

Hoof point.

"What do you say to unnecessary police brutality?"

"Somepony has to deal with those bad hombres! Bro, when shit goes down, who you gonna call?!" Agent Smith ran out to grab Pinkie and break her out of her state before anything else could be said. To amend everything, he leaned over and said, "That's all for questions."

***

"NEWS : FAKE TRUMP ADVOCATES TERRORISM!"

"NEWS : 'MAKING FRIENDS HAPPY'? A DARK PAST!"

"NEWS : FAKE TRUMP DOESN'T UNDERSTAND INFLATION!"

Pinkie's eyes couldn't take in what was right in front of her. As much as she didn't know about this universe, a newspaper is a common sight among every being. "But... I never said I like terrorism. We just need to reciprocate! I... I... But I didn't have a dark past! But... I DO understand inflation! It's a fetish! Why are these newspapers so mean?!"

Agent Smith sighed, and looked down. "Welcome to being a politician..."

Author's Note:

Every fanfic I searched on here had Trump going to Equestria, so I thought, "Why not reverse it? Have ponies rule the US?"

I have no life. Anyways!

Feel free to comment, and have a good one!