The Virgin Mare
The Virgin Mare
Pinkie walked through the streets, staring at all the couples surrounding her. It was the day before Hearts & Hooves day, and she was hosting a party. Only there was one problem... she didn't have a date. Sure, she had hosted parties before without dates, but this was different. Rarity had convinced her to make it a romantic gathering, instead of one of Pinkie's signature parties.
"It's for Hearts and Hooves day, Pinkie Pie. You simply have to make it a formal party." she had said. Why did it have to be formal? Pinkie's parties never failed before, why would people complain? But, as tends to occur, Rarity got her way, and Pinkie Pie didn't have a date.
Since she could remember, Pinkie Pie had been unable to love anypony. She liked everypony, but she could never... love. The closest she had ever gotten to a romantic gathering was the Grand Galloping Gala, and the closest she had ever gotten to a date was when some enthusiastic stallion at accidently bumped his flank into hers at a party... to which she yelped quite loudly in response.
Everypony was friends with Pinkie Pie. This was her curse. Sure, a few colts had probably liked Pinkie at some point, but Pinkie had unknowingly melted away any romantic thoughts from them with her warm friendship. How could anyone love something who appeared to like every living creature with equal amounts of gusto?
Pinkie sighed at yet another happy couple walking by. Two pegasi, giggling over some joke that only they are in on. Why couldn't she be like that with somepony?
"Hi, Pinkie!" It was Golden Harvest, a carrot farming mare who Pinkie had recently befriended.
"Hi, Harvest! How're you doing? Were you able to harvest enough carrots before the storm?"
"Yeah, thanks for helping. I'm fine, how are you?" she asked, feeling the almost caffeine like effect of Pinkie's presence.
"I'm okay, I guess. Heading off to help the Cakes with all the extra sales we're getting. Hearts & Hooves days and all." Even though she was technically supposed to be off work today, Pinkie would have just been moping around with self-pity over being dateless, so she decided to take the shift.
"That's nice of you! I'm off to meet up with my boyfriend, Goldengrape, see ya!"
"Oh, so even she has a date? Oh who am I kidding, why wouldn't she. Everypony does." Pinkie's thoughts ripped at her insides like fire. Oh how she wished she could be like her. In fact, why couldn't she be like her? How hard could it be to get a date?
"Alright, bye!" Pinkie forced out the happiness with as much ease as a fish forces out a barbed hook. Why did Golden Harvest have to tell her that she was going to see her date? Was that even necessary?
Golden Harvest smiled and walked off. Maybe Pinkie could be like her. Why not? She was friends with everypony. All she had to do was pick one pony, and go a bit... farther. Not as far as sex, she would remain a virgin for now, but she just wanted something.
Finally arriving at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie walked in to be greeted by exactly what she didn't want to see anymore of: more couples. Shrouding her annoyance, Pinkie greeted Mrs. Cake with vigor. "Hi Mrs. Cake! I thought you could use some help. Do you want me to take over the counter for a bit?"
"Oh, thank you Pinkie. Now I can finish icing the cake for tomorrow night, and my husband can play with the twins" abandoning the counter, Mrs. Cake ran off.
Pinkie Pie stared at all the couples from behind the counter. Caramel and Wind Whistler, Noteworthy and Lemon Hearts, even Thunderlane has a date: Lightning Bolt. Did everypony she knew have a date?
"Uh. Excuse me?" The voice startled Pinkie. Suddenly she remembered her job at hand.
"Oh, hi! What can I getcha'?"
"Hi Pinkie Pie, I'll have a hay latte with no foam, please" said Cheerilee.
"Right, I'll get that for you in a flash." As Pinkie walked towards the coffee machine, she saw something: a stallion. His coloring was that of dark, red velvet. He wasn't very audacious, but why did he attract Pinkie's eye? She had never met him before.
"Maybe the problem isn't that I can't love..."she thought. "But maybe it's that whenever I meet somepony new, I label them as my friend...maybe all I need is a fresh start."
"Here you go Cheerilee, do you want sugar? No? Okay, bye!" She regretted being a bit rude, but the unknown stallion was right behind Cheerilee in line.
The stallion approached the counter. "Hi! I-" Pinkie caught herself. If she introduced herself like she normally did, she could send him the wrong message. She had to get this right. "Um. Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?" Good, calm and friendly. Just what anypony would say to someone they liked.
"I'm Alto. I'm a bit new to Ponyville, just got out of college. How are you doing, Pinkie?" Alto's voice reminded Pinkie of melty white chocolate. While it wasn't that deep, it was still silky smooth and flowed beautifully.
"I'm fine. I like your cutie mark, what is it?" Alto's cutie mark was plain black in color, and looked to be a frown with a dot under it.
"Oh, it's a fermata. It's a musical symbol—I'm a singer" he said, the fact coming out confidently, but with no sense of arrogance over it. "Can I have two banana nut muffins, please?"
"Wh—oh, right, order. I'll go grab some for you right now, a fresh batch should be finished baking just about now." Pinkie smiled and walked into the kitchen, hunting for the oven containing the muffins. She grabbed two and bagged them. "Alright, Pinkie. It's time for you to actually ask him on a date. This won't solve itself" she said to herself in a nervous tone.
"Thanks" Alto said as Pinkie handed him the muffin bag. "How much will that be?"
"Just two bits for both, we're having a sale right now." She was lying, each muffin was actually worth about two bits, but she didn't care. "You said you were a singer. Um... well... I'm hosting a Hearts & Hooves Day party tomorrow night, and I was wondering if you would be willing to maybe... sing? We could use some more entertainment."
"Oh, really? That would be great! It's a date, then. Is it fine if I bring somepony with me?"
"Yes, of course. Anypony else who is willing to come with you would be lovely." Rarity always used words like lovely, so they must have some sort of effect.
"Alright then, see you tomorrow night then, Pinkie Pie." He smiled at Pinkie, and turned off outside of Sugarcube Corner.
"Bye... Alto" she sighed out his name like he was her savior... which in a way, he was. "Ha, take that Ponyville! I can totally get a date. I'm not unlovable, I'm just like everypony else." While she wanted to scream, which she normally would, she didn't—Alto was still within sight, handing one of the muffins to a cream colored stallion.
Pinkie was busying herself thinking about how they could go on dates together (Or maybe even double date with Rarity... she would love that), or maybe just hang out together, singing duets... and possibly even... other... things. Then, Pinkie saw something that shocked and confused the living hay out of her.
Alto was kissing the stallion.
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Really well written :o I really liked this though... Poor Pinkie xD
Also:
"Is it fine if I bring somepony with me?"
"No, of course not."
Uh. Shouldn't this be "Yes, of course." ?
Now that's just sad!
Um, I'm not sure what to think of it. I mean, it was a good read, but I think it was a bit too short. Could have used a few more friendzones by Pinkie's intended date targets. Still, faved.
Very nice my friend. Very nice indeed. Although short, it was bittersweet and heart-felt.
So, I'm going to give this an 8/10.
Keep up the good work friend, ~Obyvious
I need more
I'm a horrible person for laughing at Pinkie's confusion and pain, but...
At first I was like
I fell sorry for pinkie
Then hey she got a date yay
Alto kissing the stallion
Da FAQ
SOMEONE GET POKEY!!
1016768 Oh, thanks for that. <3
1016783 I actually did plan to drag out the story a bit, but then I wrote to that final line... and I just loved how nothing was explained.
Plus, the original concept was that Pinkie fell for someone who turned out to be gay, and it would be silly to have like three situations with homosexual ponies that pinkie falls for.
1016932
^_^ No worries! It just didn't make a whole lot of sense to me so I figured "Eh, why not?"
1016948 What happened was half of my brain agreed to write "Do you mind If I bring somepony" and the other half agreed to right "Can I bring somepony?", so when I wrote the next line as "No, of course not", I wrote it as if she was replying to "Do you mind if i bring somepony."
This story has earned Magnum the critics approval.
You are awarded 5 out of 5 yay
congratulations
Poor pinkie... i'm sry.
lmao. That end was the Best. Possible. Twist!
1017199 Yay! I wasn't expecting too much of my readers to take that as forshadowing!
Well done, you're intelligent.
I like the story, and I'm looking forward to more.
"Not as far as sex, she would remain a virgin for now, but she just wanted something."
Way to go. Break the mold and give Pinkie some much needed mature depth. Though having to think of herself in a sexual label seemed to take it farther than needed. Still, it was a good wake up call.
Keep it up.
1017575 Thanks. Added that line for two reasons
1. A lot of people might not make the connection to the title if I didn't actually say that she was in fact a virgin.
2. I do not and have no intent on writing clopfiction.
Haha, I loved it. I wasn't expecting that ending, yet there it is. Nicely written.
1017734 It's comments like yours that I love the most, because I judge my writing style so much when I'm writing. Everything always seems just a bit too choppy or a bit too telly.
Thank you for complimenting HOW I write, as well as what I have in fact written.
1016941
Oh, yeah, this makes much more sense. I just didn't look at the fic this way. Makes it much better, too. :p Thank you for explaining that.
Dammit. I can't stop laughing!!!
Totally my kinda story! 
Aww feel sorry for Pinkie, totally wanna hug her now
Dat ending
Yay biblical puns!
Can't go wrong with exploiting tragedy. I love it.
Maybe I could have chosen a better adject-OH GOD STOP BEATING ME
You've touched on a point I hadn't considered.
If Pinky is friends with everyone, how could she ever hope to find love.
Even a mare of infinite compassion is stretched too thin if she shares her love with everyone.
It's deliciously sad. + 1 like. : )
D'OH! Poor pinkie trying to pick up a fudge packer. Baaaahaha that's rich
that was just... depressing. holy crap.
WE NEED SEQUEL! NAO! MOAR!
Moar lulz plz...?
-Jorofrarie
OH COME ON!!!!
I salute you ItsDoctorWhooves for your story.
This has some of the worst flow I have ever seen. Okay, that might be an overstatement.
Let me offer you some advice: Read aloud. You'll catch a lot of problems that way.
1380534
You never actually offered me advice, in the end.
Pointing out a flaw without actually pointing at something is entirely pointless, love.
1381390
Well, I actually did start to do that, marking out problems as I was reading. But they grew in numbers it's easier to say all of it.
But the narrative's decent. At least, until the ending. I don't think I've ever seen a story end in medias res.
Alright, you want a few examples. Give me a second.
1381390
"'Yeah, thanks for helping. I'm fine, how are you?'"
This just sounds awkward. Just terribly awkward. I try to imagine her saying it, and it feels like these are two separate scenes.
"'That's nice of you! I'm off to meet up with my boyfriend, Goldengrape, see ya!'"
Abrupt and awkward.
"Not as far as sex, she would remain a virgin for now, but she just wanted something."
Terrible phrasing. I doubt she's actually actively thinking she'd stay a virgin as a rule. A better way to phrase it would be thus: "She wasn't ready for that just yet."
I could go on, but I got my own stuff to work on.
1381470
For most of my high school career, I wanted sex, but I refrained from it as a rule. I was ready for it, I just didn't want to do something like that without having a drivers licence. Just morally I didn't think it was right, even though I was completely ready for it.
1381774
You just really wanted to be a virgin? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. I understand just not wanting to have sex. But wanting to stay a virgin? That's weird. As if that label is important to anyone other than religious fundamentalists.
1381798
Wanting to remain a virgin honestly had nothing to do with sex itself. I'm a kinky bastard, sex is wondrous.
In my opinion, the lost of someones virginity was an emotional stage of growth that I wanted to share with somebody I truly loved. While having sex at like fourteen wouldn't have really had a negative effect, I wanted to wait until I was more grown up to know if I really loved the person.
1381817
So you just wanted your first time to be with someone special. But every time after that you don't care?
1381902
Effectively.
1381915
...I'm sorry, I have to say this, but the only lay you wanted to be with someone special was the one you would inevitably be the worst at?
1382040
I'm a sentimental lil' asshole, so first-time things tend to be quite important for me.
Christ. Some people just wont let an argument die...
1444573
It died a week ago.
o.o
But it could have died after he posted his smart ass remark
1446994
You're mimicing him.
Idea: add a new pony who has a darker personality, like a goth personality,
and then have him get hospitalized via party cannon,