Twi enters a beauty pageant but loses to Rarity. Jealous, she casts a spell on Rarity to teach her some humility and to get her to stop gloating. However, her spell goes horribly wrong and spreads to the whole town, and Twi and Rarity must solve their differences to save every pony.
A really SHORT story, written as a letter to the princess. I tried to keep the writing as if it were for an actual episode.
This started as a failed attempt at the writing competition below:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/03/flash-event-write-300-word-story.html#idc-cover
Chapters (1)
A great, simple read. The flow, to me, was nice. All I suggest is making it more clear who is who in the story.
The only problems I see are spacing problems, a little confusion as to who is who, and a few minor spelling mistakes. Besides that, it's great!
998389 Agreed, I would maybe recommend colored text but Rairty's would have to be Indigo to be readable and Twilight's would likely be purple and that would likely cause some confusion.
nice story.. would like to read about the whole day (not as a letter) but this is good none the less
i for one had no problems to discern who's who at this point (dont know if you put the paragraphs in after the first comments but now it works)
998389
I never wrote a fanfiction before.
Thanks. I tried to by using different tones in the dialogue but I really didn't want to put "Twillight : blah blah Rarity: blah blah" you know? Thanks again for reading.
Good fic, especially for your first one. Mustache to you.
1031391
Thanks so much!!!
I can see how this unfolds, and it's really great, tbh
Keep the great work up!
6576047 Thank you so much. Sorry for not seeing your comment sooner, life has kept me away from a lot of things I enjoy lately.