Dumbledore looked at her for a moment, thinking. “It’s behind a fidelius charm, at the moment. You do know what that is, correct?”
She nodded, listening attentively while Dash drifted around the room like an enormous, lost, blue butterfly.
“That’s why I haven’t named the artefact. As the secret keeper, if I told you I had the artefact, then I would be disclosing the secret to all of you. Hence, my circumspect descriptions of the item.
“However, he knows about the artefact, and that he used to know where it was, but now he doesn’t. When I cancel the fidelius, he’ll remember it is here. All he remembers right now is that I have hidden something that he is very interested in having, and that I am working on a set of obstacles that will lead to it. He’s waiting until I am finished. He has waited ten years, what’s a few more months?”
She nodded. “That makes sense.” She worried her lower lip with her teeth. “So, he knows what the item is, and that it used to be at Gringotts. He knows you have it, but because of the fidelius, he can’t force you to give up the secret of exactly where it is at. He also knows that you are preparing a series of obstacles that will lead to it, and that therefore you will be removing it from its secret place at some point in time. But he doesn’t dare act early, because you might simply leave the item hidden and fort-up Hogwarts to prevent him from using any students as hostages.”
“Yes,” said Dumbledore happily, “you’ve got it.”
Applejack looked at them and said, “Honey, all I’m getting is a headache.”
Dash snickered from overhead, “I stopped listening when Twi said it was brilliant.”
Pinkie Pie was standing high up on the wall to their left, looking at the torch.
Rarity just shook her head.
۸- ̫ -۸
Castor leaned back in his chair. “So, based on what you’ve said, I think we should first take a look at Beretta Gallery to give you an idea of what we’re talking about. They offer both pistols and rifles. Then we should go to the army training facility at Bassingbourn, tomorrow, where we can run you through the basic safety training course and you can get familiar with the weapons.”
He took a deep breath. “I do have to say, though, that it is highly unlikely that you will ever need such a weapon. In England, only about seven percent of all the police officers have even received training in handling firearms, be it pistol, rifle, or shotgun. And, from personal experience since I became an officer, I can honestly say I have never needed a firearm of any sort, nor ever felt the desire to have one with me. Nor have any of the officers I know.”
“The number of people killed with a gun last year were less than eleven percent of all homicides in England, just sixty-one people. Out of over 150,000 crimes and fifty million plus people. To tell the truth, almost twice as many people died from drowning while swimming than from guns.
“That being said, I do see why you might want some familiarity with these weapons. For you, it’s a new and unknown risk factor. Doing this will give you an understanding of their uses and limitations. Something that a movie, where the directors use artistic-license to make things appear more dramatic, can’t do.”
He looked at the two women. “Are either of you a unicorn?”
Agent Heartstrings, nodded. “I am.”
“Can you stop things thrown at you?”
The two exchanged puzzled looks.
“I mean, well, for example, if someone threw a rock at you and you couldn’t dodge it, what would you do?”
Lyra shrugged, “Put up a shield spell.”
“Ah! So such a thing exists?”
“Yes.”
“Can you extend it to cover something else, like,” he looked around the room. “Like put a shield over that window from where you are sitting?”
She frowned. “Yes, but the farther away it is, the harder it is to do.”
“Good, then when we are at the range tomorrow, we can test your shield against gunfire. I’m sure you would like to know if such a thing would work should you ever get in a situation where someone was shooting at you.”
They both nodded.
He looked at his watch. “Well, we missed lunchtime. How about we get something to eat, and then drop by the Beretta Gallery?”
“Oooh! That sounds wonderful!” said Agent Drops. “I wonder what desserts they’ll have!”
“And I can practice using these,” Agent Heartstrings said, holding up her hands and wriggling her fingers, staring at them with an eager expression.
“And I can put in a call to my office so they can warn the shooting range to expect us tomorrow.”
۸- ̬ -۸
Princess Sparkle looked around the room pensively. A scroll and quill flew out of her saddlebags and started making notes. “Pinkie Pie,” she said, “Would you please carve these into the corners of the walls, floor, and ceiling? They will seal the room to anything trying to magically cross them.”
“Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully as she ran down the wall to snatch the list, and then ran off to a far corner.
“The runes will take a few days to get to full power. When Pinkie finishes, I’ll give them a partial charge to start.”
“Done!” Pinkie said, and handed the list back to the purple alicorn.
They all jumped and stared at her.
The Princess opened her mouth to say something, but stopped, and simply said, “Thank you, Pinkie.”
She looked at the wizards and witch, who were staring at Pinkie dumbfounded. “Don’t even try to figure it out. One of the worst days of my life was trying to figure Pinkie Pie out.”
Pinkie grinned happily.
Dumbledore felt a powerful surge around them as the princess frowned and her horn glowed ever-so-lightly. They went back out to the next room.
Twilight studied the door carefully, then drew some runes on it with her hoof. The door shimmered and disappeared, now looking just like the rest of the wall behind it. She looked back at Severus. “He’ll not get a clue to where the door is when he comes in. Make those black flames cover the entire wall.” She handed the scroll to Pinkie, again. “Could you do the walls, ceiling, and floor, again?”
She walked to the table of potions. “It’s good that you can’t detect which potion does what, but I still think you should make all these sleeping potions.” She sighed and headed to the door to the room with the troll. She paused only to send out a pulse of magic when Pinkie Pie once more declared she was “Done!”
The small corridor between the rooms was quickly protected, as well. There would be no sneaking into the spaces between the obstacles and trying to skip ahead. And the doors were protected from magical attack and destruction. Or at least from any attack that wouldn’t also destroy a good portion of the rooms.
The troll’s room received the same treatment, except she had Pinkie draw some runes on the bottom of the troll’s feet while she held the troll still. “Those runes make the troll almost impervious to magic as long as he is in this room.” She clearly strained to hold the troll still as Pinkie finished the last rune. “Hurry,” she called as they darted through the door, and closed it only moments before the troll slammed into it.
In Minerva’s room, after the princess reinforced the walls, she said to the professor, “Make the chess pieces impervious to outside magical movement and blasts. And put up anti-flying charms. Make him work to get across the room. Maybe even give the bishops and knights crossbows as well as spears, so they don’t have to get close to attack anyone trying to sneak across the board.”
Then came the next room.
She stared at the flying keys while Pinkie Pie darted around. She sighed. “I hope this doesn’t work,” she said. She concentrated. A few seconds later, every key in the room was at her feet. Except for one lone key flitting about. She looked at Filius. “I summoned every key that would respond, reasoning you would put the anti-summoning charm only on the one key that opened the door.” Filius nodded stoically.
“Perhaps leave him the pieces of the brooms, so he has to assemble a broom to catch the keys. And the keys could attack him while he is occupied in doing that.”
In the vines room, she walked over and stared at the small plant. She took a deep breath and a glow surrounded both her and the vines. She remained unmoving for several moments, then staggered back. She took a few deep breaths, then looked up at the ceiling. She nodded to herself and pulled out another scroll and made some notes on it. “Dash? Would you draw these runes on each surface at the corners of the room?”
“Yes! Finally! Something to do. I was falling asleep here.” She grabbed the scroll and shot up to the ceiling. Twilight turned to Pinkie, “And would you carve the sealing runes in the corners, as you did in the other rooms?”
“Oh, boy!” she said enthusiastically, “A race!” She darted to the first corner so fast she was a blur.
Princess Sparkle turned to Dumbledore. “I changed the vines so that now they seek magic, but avoid the sun. And all the surfaces in here will have a tiny magical glow because of those runes I gave Dash.”
Dumbledore exchanged astonished looks with his friends. She had magically altered the vines in under a minute? He was unaware of any spells that could do that without a great deal of time and effort — as in months or years of work. Pomona would be beside herself when she heard about this.
“Oh, and their fruit now tastes like cherries and is rich in Vitamin C and D. Might as well make the silly things useful for something.”
“Cherry chimachangas are the best!” Pinkie Pie declared from behind them.
Dumbledore heard a faint rustling and looked around to see what had made the noise. The vines reached out towards him, and the others, in spite of the flames coming from their wands. He thought a moment, and the light from his wand changed from that of a bright candle to match that of the sun. The vines twisted and turned, but came no closer.
A few minutes later, they all once more stood beside the sleeping Fluffy.
Pinkie flitted about, once more doing a job impossibly fast, with Dash excitedly racing her along the ceiling. This room had far more corners than the others did.
“Come along, Fluttershy,” the Princess called out as they headed back into the corridor. Fluttershy, naturally, had been petting the Cerberus as he slept.
Outside in the corridor, the princess turned to Dumbledore.
“I really don’t like the presence of either this artefact or this dark wizard you think is going to try to get it. Do you know who that wizard is?”
“Alas, no Princess, I do not. I have suspicions, but no real evidence. I believe he is currently staying in Hogsmeade, hiding. And that he will try to slip into Hogwarts sometime soon. And definitely when I remove the fidelius.”
Twilight stared up at the ceiling in exasperation. “And we just sent the entire student population into Hogsmeade where he could snatch a student and use polyjuice to sneak into the Castle. And once in the dorm, he could imperius his dorm-mates to ignore whatever he does.” She sighed.
“Except,” Dumbledore said, “He knows that the item he wants is still unavailable. It would benefit him nothing to do anything now. And the risks involved in keeping up the charade long enough for me to finish the traps and remove the fidelius outweigh the gain he might get from being a student inside Hogwarts the entire time before I do so.”
“I should remove Harry and the fillies, immediately.” She paused a moment, worrying her lower lip.
Dumbledore kept his expression bland, smiling slightly. From what he had seen today, if she wanted to take Harry with her, there was bloody little he could do to prevent it.
“However, this wizard is not yet in Hogwarts and the artefact, in itself, is innocuous. Knowing he cannot get the artefact until you remove the fidelius, he should be patient. And as long as he is outside of Hogwarts, then Harry and the girls are safe.” She grimaced. “Well as safe as the Cutie Mark Crusaders ever are.”
Rarity and Applejack both snorted while Dash giggled.
She sighed. “I will allow them to remain here until you either suspect or decide that this dark wizard has somehow made his way into Hogwarts. At that point, I will remove Harry and the fillies until this wizard is dealt with.”
“That seems reasonable. As long as the wizard thinks I am working to finish the obstacles, he will remain patient.”
She stared at him, frowning. “Unless he is stupid, he knows you’re building a trap for him. After all, if you merely wanted to keep it hidden, you would never remove the fidelius.”
“Yes, that is quite true. However, if he thought I was going to permanently leave it hidden away, then he would set up a hostage situation where I would have to choose between keeping the secret or letting students die.”
He smiled condescendingly, “That’s why Gringotts was such a good hiding place for so long. They could not be blackmailed by such tactics into giving up the artefact. They wouldn’t care how many died, either wizards or goblins, the vault would remain closed.”
She stared at him a moment. “Why didn’t this Flamel cast the fidelius on the item in the vault?”
Dumbledore shrugged. “I’m sure Gringotts wouldn’t have allowed him to perform that magic.”
She rolled her eyes. “Goblin, my friend, I have something in this chest,” she held her hooves about shoulder-width apart, “that has a fidelius cast on it, please put it in one of your most secure vaults.”
Dumbledore stared at her, then said, “I don’t know why he didn’t do that.”
The princess sighed and looked down briefly, shaking her head.
Dumbledore said. “No matter. Now that it had been moved, the wizard had to figure another way to the artefact. He knew that one of my staff had just removed the item and probably brought it here. My actions here, regarding the obstacles here in Hogwarts, assured him that I had, indeed, secured the item.
“He thinks he can easily beat my obstacles and acquire the artefact without revealing that Voldemort is trying to return to life. Thus he is patient.”
She gave him a dark look. “And, as I demonstrated, he was more than correct about the obstacles, right?”
Dumbledore cleared his throat, “Yes, quite so.” He shifted slightly, embarrassed. “However, I do not believe he has mastered the spell for walking through walls. I certainly have never heard of such a spell, myself. And your runes have rendered that moot, now, anyway. And without your spell, he shall have to solve each obstacle.”
She snorted and turned back to the door, now closed and several yards behind them. Her horn glowed for a moment. “There. I have placed an age-line across this end of the corridor. No one under the age of fifty can pass it to even get to the door and unlock it to see Fluffy.”
She cut her eyes over to look at Dumbledore. “I wonder why you never thought to use it? It seems like such an easy answer to keeping the students out.”
He felt his face burn, “Sometimes it takes an outsider to spot the obvious.”
“Yes. Indeed,” she said. “I have had to learn that lesson myself. And I still occasionally forget.” She looked at her friends with a smile. Rainbow Dash was smiling back and buffing a hoof on her chest smugly. The others merely returned her smile. “Yes,” the Princess murmured, “friends are a great help.”
She sighed and looked back at the wizards and witch. “And then there are the windows.” She frowned. “With the easy availability of flying on broomsticks, I imagine some students might try to sneak in that way. Or maybe even your bad wizard might do that. So, maybe you should spell the windows to not open, be unbreakable, and give you an alarm. And to block anyone from looking in, either.”
Dumbledore nodded. Oh yes, that was certainly a possibility. Voldemort’s minion could by-pass his first alarm simply by opening a window.
She watched him, then added, “Perhaps you should consult with others a bit more frequently?”
“Yes, mayhaps I shall.” He paused a moment, thinking. “Well,” he said briskly, “I believe we should make our way to the gates. Skiffy!”
“Skiffy be here!” came the immediate response.
“Would you inform the professors that the gates will be opening soon and to begin sending the students back to Hogwarts? Dinner will take place in the Great Hall, at the same time as usual, which will be less than an hour, I believe. And tell the other house-elves that they may return as soon as the wizards or witches they are helping no longer need their assistance. And tell Hagrid to wait until I am there before opening the gates.”
The house-elf didn’t even reply, he just disappeared.
“Speaking of which,” the princess said, “In view of the possibility the bad wizard might be a bit more desperate than you think, every student should be checked for any liquids they might be carrying, and what those liquids are. We wouldn’t want anyone to smuggle in a quantity of polyjuice while under an imperius.” She frowned. “Is there a spell to detect when someone is under the imperius? We should do that, as well.”
He cocked his head slightly sideways. “For polyjuice, indirectly, yes. I will stand at the gates myself and do so. A simple spell will reveal any liquids. For the imperius, no one has devised such a spell, yet.”
The furrow in her brow grew deeper, and she worried her lower lip with her teeth. “Can you cast it on me? I want to see what it does.” A scroll and quill flew from her saddlebags. The quill started taking notes.
The wizards exchanged looks.
“It is normally a forbidden curse,” Dumbledore said. He stood a moment, thinking. “But I do have many witnesses that you requested it.” He glanced around at them smiling. “I will cast a weak version.”
He lifted his wand and said, “Imperio!”
She looked at him curiously.
“Could you cast it on Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Applejack.
The princess smiled. “Don’t worry, Fluttershy, I don’t know anyone who has a stronger will than you.”
Mumbling her assent almost imperceptibly, the sonorous had finally worn off, the shy pink-haired witch slowly stepped back into view.
Dumbledore again cast the spell.
The purple alicorn stared for several moments, then nodded slowly. “Would you give her a command?”
He nodded, “Miss Fluttershy, pat your head with one hand while rubbing your stomach with the other.”
She tilted her head and said, “Why would I want to do that?”
Twilight nodded again. “Fluttershy? I want you to do what he says, next time. Don’t fight the spell. I want to see it in action, so don’t question it, please?”
Uncertainly, Fluttershy nodded.
Dumbledore again cast the spell and issued his instructions, then watched as the witch did as he had ordered.
“Would you cancel the spell, Headmaster?”
“Finite incantatem.”
The quill continued to scribble for several moments until the Princess smiled.
“Can we try it once more, Headmaster?”
Fluttershy had barely started patting her head when the Princess’ horn glowed purple, and Fluttershy glowed bright green.
Fluttershy stopped what she was doing with a puzzled expression. “What happened?”
Princess Sparkle turned to Dumbledore and had a sheet of paper fly over to him. “Here’s a spell that turns anyone under the imperius a bright-green colour. If the cast spell is stronger than the spell used for the imperius, it cancels it.”
Dumbledore and the professors stared at her in shock. She had just created a spell from scratch.
Still smiling, she said “We will join you at the gates. And you should make yourself invisible. No one will suspect us as we are taking the opportunity to greet our families. You being in sight would be a clear sign that something was suspected.”
They headed for the Castle doors, Dumbledore intently studying the spell described on the paper.
Just as they reached front doors, Dumbledore looked up from the paper. “As we were too busy to have lunch,” he said addressing the Atlanteans, “I believe I would be remiss in not inviting you all to join us for our evening repast.”
The six women exchanged looks and it was obvious they were of the same mind.
“Yes, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore,” said Princess Sparkle, “I think I can say we would be delighted to join you.”
“Oh, I can hardly wait to see Sweetie Belle,” declared Rarity, “It seems like forever since I saw her last week!”
“I know the feelin’, honey,” Applejack said. “The house just feels empty without Apple Bloom’s hooves charging up and down the stairs.”
“And I want to see if Scoots has tried any of my tricks, yet! She’s been telling me about those Quidditch games, here. I wouldn’t mind catching one if I can.”
“There should be some time after dinner.” His eyes were sparkling, again, he knew. “I’m sure one of the other teams could be persuaded into a match against the Pegasi Team.” He handed the paper to Filius. The other two professors looked over his shoulder at the paper.
Dash took off out the doors, leaving behind a fading, rainbow-coloured streak.
“By the way, Princess Sparkle,” Dumbledore said as they descended the steps outside. “The books you loaned to Harry? I would appreciate it if you would not do so in the future without first letting me take a look at the book you’re sending. Some of the spells in this book,” he pulled it out of his pocket and unshrank it, “Spells for Ghosts — If They Were Real, are too advanced for most students here at Hogwarts. And while you undoubtedly thought them harmless, given that there are no ghosts where you came from,” he frowned slightly at that thought — why didn’t they have ghosts in Atlantis? — “here in England many of the spells are considered dangerous and restricted. We are very lucky that the spell they worked on Miss Warren was not a proscribed one that would have landed them in deep trouble.” He sighed, “As it is, I had to spend a considerable amount of time over the last two days soothing worried parents, and the Ministry, telling them that your three charges were not attempting forbidden magics and that they didn’t constitute a threat to the rest of Hogwarts.”
The princess looked abashed and embarrassed. “Yes, I am sorry about that. I was just so excited to hear that there were ghosts here that I didn’t consider what that might mean.”
“Do you mind if I read this book, and the others you sent them? I would very much like to make them available to the other students, or acquire copies for our library, if they are benign enough.”
She looked at him brightly, “Oh, no, go right ahead. In fact, I’ll tell the girls to give you the books for your library when they are finished with them! They are extra copies, after all.”
He nodded, “Thank you very much for your generosity, Princess Sparkle. I look forward to reading the other books. This, though, will have to reside in the library’s restricted section until I can convince the Ministry to allow its general circulation, dealing as it does with returning a ghost to life.”
They walked in silence for a moment.
“I do have one other question about this book, if you don’t mind.” He held up the book, before shrinking and stowing it once more in his pocket.
She looked at him inquisitively.
“Do all of your books come with a sap-repelling spell on them?”
۸- ̫ -۸
This! THIS RIGHT HERE IS ONE OF THE TRUEST THINGS IN EXISTENCE!
Just the ones they lend to the crusaders, Dumbledor
Twilight: "You've met Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo. Now imagine if every one of their antics resulted in them being covered in tree sap."
Among other protections, yes.
The sap-repelling spell is funny. I wonder how Twilight reacts to that question.
"Not usually, but the girls are prone to sap related accidents so I felt it was prudent to ward pretty much every book in my library against such incidents, just as a precaution."
I need more please
Thanks for the chapter
"Give it a while. By the time Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo are in their third year, you'll be giving serious consideration to making such spells a permanent addition to the castle wards."
I think there is a key difference here... I'm suspecting that Twilight can see magic directly, and the humans can't (with the exception of Harry, his time as a unicorn seems to have given him that ability). It's a hell of a lit easier to weave a tapestry if you can see the thread than if you are blind.
Truthfully, this actually makes the wizard spell crafters a good but more impressive.
All so good. Now I wonder how Quirrell will react to the fact that all of his plans are going to be made moot very soon?
When it involves the CMC a sap-repelling charm is mandatory. I'd also expect a fireproof charm as well at least
A sap-repelling spell might as well be one of the most useful Crusader-related spells in Equestria.
The incantation is actually "Imperio"
UPDATE: Heavily revised 2018-11-08 17:38 PM EST.
As much as I like how this chapter ended, it has some glaring flaws in it.
OK, I haven't been keeping up with canon, but is there any evidence that Twilight knows how to do this? Without better framing, it comes across as seriously overpowered.17:51 EST: Point withdrawn. I was dwelling too much on the implications of modifying crops and had forgotten Twilight's (backfired) efforts to modify pests.
As-is, this feels like it raises a "Yeah, right. I can see that canon Equestria doesn't have this with my own eyes" problem. (Or a Reed Richards Is Useless problem, but your eagerness to let Earth and Equestria learn from each other doesn't really fit with that.)
You really need to justify or limit it, even if it is something normal unicorns can't just do on the fly. Here are two possible options:
Yeah. By this point, the number of ways Twilight has shown the natives up in a short period of time has passed my threshold for Twilight feeling irrevocably, detrimentally Sue-ish. (And I normally like stories which make the villains impotent so the narrative can focus on more inter-personal or comic things. This just feels boringly excessive, like a long exposition dump. Yes, we get that HP canon is broken and you could do better. Can we get back to the entertainment now?)
To be honest, given how creative the earlier bits of the story were and how many ways I've seen authors sideline HP canon without having a character gratuitiously showing off like this, I think you should rethink your decision to follow a regular release schedule. It feels like you're running up against your deadlines before you have a proper chance to fine-tune your plans.
To paraphrase Shigeru Miyamoto (on delaying Mario 64, if I remember correctly), a late chapter is late for a little while. A bad chapter is bad forever.
In the interest of honesty, I also have to say that I'm left feeling that adding this to my recommendations group may have been premature. (It's long enough that it's still got some inertia to be sapped away before removal is certain.)
(That said, I would have made the same mistake with Magic School Days. What is with MLP-HP crossovers and working for a long time before starting to go off the rails?)
9280826
True, but i suspect that imperus is the weaker varient he pointed out.
9280816
and a waterproof charm, blast-proof charm, slobber proof charm, sweetie's cooking proof charm... really this is a lot of charms to put on one book, isn't there one that combines them together?
9280755
izquotes.com/quotes-pictures/quote-a-child-of-five-would-understand-this-send-someone-to-fetch-a-child-of-five-groucho-marx-120868.jpg
You know a story about the CMC having adventures at Hogwarts should be interesting enough on its own so why is it that nobody can stick to that?
The first contact stuff was good but doesn't seem like it would be interesting in the long run because the Ponies are incredibly competent and for the most part are portrayed as untouchable.
This whole thing with Twilight at Hogwarts has the same "untouchable problem" while just being a bland fix-fic scenario. You know what would be interesting if the ponies meddling caused things to go wrong in some unexpected manner but it can't because you keep having them be aware of every possible thing that can go wrong.
So far the CMC stuff is the only thing I find all that interesting, it's not perfect but it has room for a lot of interesting things to happen except you're pulling the same crap MSD did by having an outside force take care of all the interesting stuff before it ever reaches the CMC. Sure we still have the fluff but is it so wrong to hope for something with substance?
I was really hoping this would be the story I had expected MSD to be but it's clear that's not gonna happen. I don't hate the story I'm just disappointed. I will readjust my expectations accordingly as I did with MSD.
9280844
Parasprites. And the vampire fruit bats. She's kind of got a reputation for this.
Wooties! New chapter! Excellent work.
To quote from an earlier chapter, "You'll only give yourself a headache, and you STILL won't get it."
9280889
Good point. I was so stuck thinking about the implications of modifying crops that I forgot about her doing similar things in less consequential contexts. That point is hereby withdrawn.
My second point about applying it to crops still stands.
9280794
There is that, but a better reason is something that hasn't been properly explained to them yet. She is the Element of Magic, or Goddess as Ollivander said. Not only is magic her special talent, she represents it and embodies it. So that plays a big role to be sure.
9280881
Agreed... with the note that I think first contact can be just as engaging as the CMC despite having Equestria be very competent.
It's just a matter of making the story interesting in ways their competence can't solve. (eg. cultural misunderstandings, humorous personality conflicts, etc.)
Both this and MSD feel like they're suffering because their authors don't fully grasp the concept that often gets boiled down to the trite phrase "less is more". (Resulting in a story that's made less interesting for the same reason that cheat codes make games with well-tuned difficulty curves less interesting.)
9280899
Maybe although there is a Unicorn Spell for such crop modification, it is little used because such application is normally covered by Earth Pony Magic? So, Twilight - being the bookhorse she is, would *know* the spell, but in Ponyville - habited mainly by Earth Ponies - she would not have a reason to use it...
And Twilight not only did create a spell "on the fly" in the fic (the altered Teleport-with-a-Wand spell) earlier, but onyl not witnessed the execution of the imperio spell, but she knows mind altering spells (Want It Need It spell), so the development of mind alteration detection spell isn't out of the limits.
So far Twilight isn't Sue-ish, only allowed to show the competence level that it would be natural to her.
Well of course they come with sap-repelling charms, after all have you even MET the CMC before, they get covered in sap even when there are no tree's around.
9280923
My concern is more about reconciling the reader's impression of the spell's implications with the reader's perception of canon Equestria.
Hence my example suggestion to make it explicit that magic of that nature is in wide use in Equestria in a way which canon doesn't disagree with. (eg. tweaking the nutritional content of foods, similar to how we want to use genetic modification to do things like adding more vitamin A to rice.)
9280881
Sure, but we're talking about literal heroes that save the world on a monthly basis. It's akin to saying Superman had a little brother, but that Superman refused to step in if he found a troupe of villains were about to attack.
The CMC, to be immune to that kind of intervention, need to be far removed from it, invisible to their friends and family — unreachable. Since they're not, and the world of Harry Potter HAS glaringly obvious problems with it, when you mix a batch of busybodies and native magic users with hero complexes and family values, the only way it's going to go is like this.
Now, if you wanted to balance it out, pull the old 'intelligent villain' card. You know the kind. The guy sets the base to self destruct, tells the heroes they only have 2 minutes to disarm the bomb or the base will go up and take all the hostages with it.... or they can stop the villain's escape. The heroes (of course) choose to save the hostages, letting the villain run off, but unlike comic badguys, the villain no only made sure that the computer console they gestured towards is NOT something that can disable the self destruct, but that even if it was, it's locked. Even if the good guys pull it open, there's no red or blue wire, they're all blue... and sealed in a glob of black epoxy... and hard wired to a mercury switch... and the bomb is set to go off at 37 seconds rather than zero... and pretty much the guy becomes a paranoid genius.
Which is not actually unreasonable considering that all the characters are literate.
Add in that the CMC pretty much asked to go, and they're backed by Celestia, and you've got a recipe for Hogwarts spankings.
And really, unless you decide to make Equestrian magic simply incompatible with human magic, there's not a lot that can't be pulled off with pony stuff if it's simply applied with the human mindset.
But if you were to do that, why even involve the CMC or Pony in the first place? You are, of course, welcome to build your own and I am absolutely certain many folks would love to read it. I certainly would.
...
Of course, I also DM/GM so I do love a smart villain that forces the good guys to work for it.
(edited for spelling)
9280851
A CMC proof spell has not yet been created. We have the technology, but not the power. It's like Pinkie Pie.... but with more cheering and copious amounts of tree sap.
9280851
ahh, you said most of the best ones. can't forget the dragon proof, sneeze proof, Dash head on collision proof, and, of course, the polka band charms.
9280930
Earth ponies. Can’t get more widespread than 1/3 of the entire population.
I can only imagine the expression of other professors that the seemingly shy Flutter treated Dumbledore's spell like nothing.
Oh, it is just one of Ponyville's standard procedure when it comes to anything related to the CMCs.
Darn right.
9280844
Actually, yes. There are multiple cannon examples of Twilight not only changing bits, but entire things. And not just Twilight either.
The first, and more applicable, would be the frog/orange. Not only can she alter an existing object, but a living one... fuse two or more together and maintain independent functioning life while creating a chimeric creature.
Of course, you also have multiple examples of transfiguration... even to the extent that Trixie (an admittedly underpowered, though very talented, unicorn) can perform such. Remember kids, it's not just saying "Teacup" it's envisioning it, considering what it is and all its nuances. Heck, Trixie hybridized a nonliving and living thing... remember the scene in Twilight's kitchen?
Changing flavors and adding vitamins seems like a VERY simple thing for a natively magical creature like Twilight... especially when she's putting thought into it.
There is MORE than enough evidence of EXACTLY that kind of effect in Equestria. The Earth ponies are the staple of this market. The EEA even focuses specifically upon Earth Ponies and Agriculture, the basis of the very idea being so ingrained in their society that it's REQUIRED for EVERY school. We're just seeing an alicorn applying that concept with unicorn magic. Heck, Applebloom pulled that kind of thing off with alchemy when Zecora and Twilight were working with her in Twilight Time.
And yes, that means that the ponies are overpowered... they're the heroes in an entirely different franchise, but that actually doesn't dismiss their actions. Actually... this is just as much a critique of the show as it is pointing out that it seems rather one sided.
9280899
I think part of the problem is that it's only easy to do for TWILIGHT, being A) an alicorn, B) BATSHIT INSANE(LY) SMART, and C) The Alicorn of MAGIC ITSELF. While Dumbledore and other wizards may be clever, and quite gifted in their own rights, Twilight is simply BEYOND anything a human can actually do. Hell even as a unicorn she was beyond what most of her own kind could do by a MASSIVE margin. Consider that of every unicorn seen in the series so far ONLY Starlight has come close to Twilight's level of bullshittery when it comes to magic. (With a POSSIBLE exception for King Sombra but that's only implied never actually seen). And most of Twilight's best feats were BEFORE becoming the Alicorn Of Magic. Toss in the demigoddess power boost and you have a recipe for a being whose magical prowess is simply off the chart by any mortal standard
For the most part the "Equestria is better than Harry Potter" has all come from either Twilight, Luna, or Discord. All of whom have some measure of 'god like power' and two of whom are older than every wizard on Earth COMBINED. Shining impressing the professors with his shields makes perfect sense as well. It's LITERALLY his 'destiny' to be a defender, and that manifests as some of the strongest shields EVER. As for Harry himself being 'better' than his canon self thanks to his time in Equestria, I don't think that's the case. Consider that Harry was 'marked as an equal' by Tom. Meaning that Harry SHOULD have the same potential as Tom. And it's already a known fact that Tom Riddle was a powerful, and skilled, wizard even as a young boy. All Harry's time in Equestria did was jump start Harry's process for fulfilling said potential. He had what, 1-2 YEARS of learning how to master magic before Canon Harry even knew magic was a thing. And he was taught said magic from TWILIGHT SPARKLE, whom we already know is pretty damn bullshit within MLP canon.
As for why Twilight seems to suffer from "Reed Richards is useless", as none of her amazing discoveries in the show seem to move Equestria as a whole forward in a meaningful way, that's partially the fact it's a kid's show and probably mostly because what Twilight can do casually most unicorns wouldn't even dream of trying. And Twilight, given her constant "Well I'm not actually that special" outlook, doesn't actually seem to get that "No, the rest of us CAN'T simply rewrite the rules of reality AND magic on a whim. What you're doing is impossible for everyone else!" For the most part anyway, there are exceptions, like Starlight.
9280739
That is a statement that should have Applejack buck twilight.
That is a statement of FACT. Not hypothesis.
9280977
Nah. As we know, Applejack isn't an automatic fact checker... she just knows when someone or something seems to be deceitful. She can't just be asked if the lottery numbers will be XXXXXXXX and say no until a yes comes up.
All that Twilight's saying, factually, is right. She can determine that Voldemort intended to make at least 3, and got at minimum 5. She's not saying he couldn't have made more — far from it. Repeatedly, she acknowledges that she doesn't have enough information and data... but that logically, these statements are still sound.
It's like saying "I know you went south on Kent road." It's not saying you didn't go north at some point, only that from the available information, it is evident that at some point, you went south on Kent road. It doesn't say where you ended up, started from, what time of day, who you were with, or if you were in a car.... only that, from the available information, you functionally must have traveled south on Kent road at some point.
Common misconception about logic statements, If A, then B and If B then C... C does NOT imply A.
9280944
I'm not saying you're necessarily wrong but that's why you shouldn't let the other ponies get involved. Either Harry and the CMC are the stars of the story or their not. If they are I expect them to be faced with problems that they have to fix and not just have those problems fixed by someone else.
It's not hard to come up with a reason for Twilight and friends to not interfere with Hogwarts heck this story has a pretty good excuse built in with them trying to establish ties with the Government. That should be more than enough to keep them from butting into things at Hogwarts for a while instead of constantly taking breaks to fix things the author felt was wrong with the original story.
Even if you did want that to happen at some point why do it now? We're what like a week or two into the school year? How about letting the story focus on Harry and the CMC for a while, wait a few months in-universe and then do all your fix-fic crap.
You know what I want to see? I want to see the CMC terrorize a troll, I want them to make Snape's life a living hell and I want to see what the CMC do with access to an invisibility cloak. These are just a few of the things I'd rather see as opposed to Twilight and friends fixing everything for them.
9280971 9280958
To reiterate, the non-withdrawn complaint about the magical alteration is that bringing HP Earth and Equestria together allows the OPness to become very obvious, so the connection to MLP canon should be more explicit.
(One way to do it would be to have Twilight off-handedly say that she was copying something she'd seen Applejack do. Wizards don't get the significance, readers realize it's intended to mean "Twilight Sparkle, bearer of the Element of Magic, is at it again and rebuilt something earth ponies routinely do using unicorn magic.")
9280992
Do you have a girlfriend
-Yes
Is she imaginary?
-You cought me.
Would not trigger Applejack at yes? Sounds fishy.
diner is going to be grate fun. so will the Quidditch match, so witch house will be the victim this time??
i say pull the best from all the houses.
only if you lend sad book to the CMC.
9280844
I don't recall it being shown in the show but in season 8 we do get shown that even things like cupcakes have a preservation spell on them in Equestria to keep them fresh and tasty when travelling. Add in the sheer amount of cakes, pancakes, pies, fruit and other high sugar foods the ponies eat having them altered to be nutritious as well as flavourful and long lasting isn't too much of a stretch.
9280975
There's also the difference a year plus of genuine love and affection with no strings attached plus real friends and copious amounts of tree sap would have on his personality.
"The cupboard under the stairs? No that's for cleaning equipment. You get a bed, toys and taught how to be the best student you can with rewards when you do well."
9280944
Let's be real here on two points.
I know it's a joke commonly used in fanfics but they don't "save the world" nearly as often as you make it out.
Also their saving the world isn't nearly as "competent" as this story is making them out to be. It almost always comes from them having some sort of magic relic borderline Deus-ex-machina which they point at the bad guy and come out on top.
9280975
1) Being an alicorn has never been stated to give someone a power boost or anything of the like.
2) Twilight Sparkle is smart. Not "batshit insanely" smart. And she definitely isn't hyper competent like we've seen in the past few chapters.
3) Twilight Sparkle is the bearer of the Element of Magic and the Princess of Friendship. Not the Alicorn of Magic.
9280975
I'll grant you that it can be explained in-universe, but that doesn't justify the decision to spend that much text on it, rather than either cutting it down ("pointing the camera elsewhere" or "leaving that scene on the editing room floor") or swelling it up with interesting content. (more entertaining thoughts, reactions, commentary, etc.)
Justified or not, it felt similar to an exposition dump to me and bored me for the same reasons. (More or less, it was a large amount of text, covering formulaic events, that could have been fixed by a "show, don't tell"-style effort to flesh it out more interestingly.)
9281011
That's why I suggested it as an example. The problem is that the reader shouldn't need to stop and evaluate how canonical a moment of OPness is when a crossover makes it apparent. The story should do that for them.
9280998
<chuckles> Good points all.
And to respond, meh, because the author's writing the story. We're all enjoying it enough to have gotten this far, even with complaints, but unless there's a legitimate reason to say no, positively everything is a what-if scenario.
And personally, I can very much see Twilight and Co. being very much involved with events even one week in. They come from a VERY different culture and hearing any number of things that have happened would raise more than eyebrows. Sure, if they were completely cut off, if they had no idea where they were, or if things were much more subtle than the canon for Harry Potter, then I completely agree.
... but they're not. Harry Potter is rife with glaringly amazing and horrifyingly terrible things. We saw the CMC get up in arms over Diamond Tiara calling people names. We've seen them stand up to bullies and take on monsters. In the comics, they're even more rambunctious. But we ALWAYS see the adults step in when things get bad.... often because they pulled similar stunts when they were younger and they remember what kind of things they never told their folks.
Throw in there Twilight's insatiable curiosity and the Equestrians value on life/self worth/family and you automatically make them hypersensitive to abuses... and kids like Harry Potter would be instantly watched and protected. Heck, there was actually an entire comic about EXACTLY that. A filly was orphaned and taken in by an elderly mare. The mare taught her to steal things and bring them back, and offered food and a place to live. And once others figured out what was going on, not only did they try to help the kid, they INSTANTLY confronted the mare. That's canon.
Now, instead of hungry and orphaned, you have heaps of evidence of abuse? Harry would have made every pony around him hyper aware of his well being... and that of his friends.
Not saying it couldn't be spread out or done differently. I absolutely agree! All kinds of wonderful story options and entire plots left unexplored... but we don't read the stories about the ones that failed or the boring days. We read things where there is conflict or glory, where there's a power trip or a snipe at something we found obvious.
(edited for spelling)
9281000
Sorry about that... your post hadn't been updated when I responded.
And you're very right. Any number of things could have made that smoother, <chuckles> I also find it very believable that Twilight would forget to mention that just like we don't explain doorknobs to people when we first open the door for them.... we assume it's known.
Yes, yes they do.
LMAO 🤣
Excellent chapter
9281004
Exactly... but the function is much different. Asking about something you KNOW is deceptive rather than asking if you believe what you're saying is true versus asking if what you're saying is objectively true despite your beliefs... all VERY different things.
Twilight can, logically, state that he made 3 intentionally... and thus at least 5 parts. If he made 3 intentionally, 1 accidentally, then he made 4... but still had his own. 5 parts. If we look at it another way, she can also infer that since she's examined multiple parts personally, they were of vastly different size/strength. Knowing this, and from her brief discussion, she can reason, logically, soundly, that he made at least 5.
Nothing there is deceptive or shady to Twilight. There's no lying involved. She's being honest.
Now if she said "I know for a fact that he made exactly 7 splits," there's a good chance that even her own confidence would be shaken if anyone really pressed her because she simply doesn't know. She can say she knows at least 5 and is guessing at 2 more... but that would be the kind of thing that AJ's BS detector would pick up on.... puffery and bluster, lies, deceit, and claims you don't actually believe.
Additionally, since we know Pinkie Pie (and a VERY talkative Kirin), I'm not sure AJ could automatically discount that comment either, given the right circumstances. <smirks> We already know that non-physical, non-living things CAN pop into existence in Equestria after all.... if they actually had an imaginary girlfriend, who they considered their girlfriend? <shrugs> I'm not one to judge.
That... was the most satisfying chapter end, yet.
9281004
Probably depends on just how much he believes in his waifu. More belief may equal more honesty for AJ.