• Published 11th Apr 2018
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If Wishes were Ponies . . . . - tkepner



Harry Potter, after a beating by Dudley and friends — with the help of a real gang member — wishes he had somewhere safe to go, and starts crawling home. He ends up in Equestria. The CMC find him. A year later, an owl brings his Hogwarts’ letter!

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94 — Knight Check

“Very clever, indeed,” Broderick had dourly said of the Cancer-cure device. “We have several Unspeakables investigating just how difficult it is to accomplish the mingling of electronics and magic.”

And, he had agreed with Albus, that as long as they didn’t do anything that couldn’t be explained by technology, no one could claim the Atlanteans were “exposing” magic. The portal made it plausible for them to claim that any incidents that might be “magic” were simple misunderstandings because they were from another world. A world where such “magic-like” events were normal. It wasn’t magic at all, just telekinesis. And telekinesis, as everyone knows, is not magic. For magic, people needed wands! And the Equestrians did not have wands.

While the ICW could complain that the Atlanteans were not hiding as they should, there was nothing anyone could point to that showed them breaking the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. Anyone insisting otherwise would also end up forcing muggle-borns and half-bloods, and their families, to abandon their homes and livelihoods to live entirely in the wizarding world. As the pure-bloods did.

Which would make it very difficult for wizards to purchase food, as trying to hide the thousands of acres needed for farming and ranches would be nearly impossible.

The only difference in exposure to muggles for most wizards and witches was in the scale with which the Atlanteans were operating.

Convincing England’s close friends, the Bulgarians and French, that it would be better to leave things as they were, and to back England’s Ministry stance, had been difficult. Eventually, though, with the reports from the Unspeakables in hand, they had acquiesced. With their help, and their friends in the ICW, he had been able to prevail in the ICW. They would do doing nothing more than monitor the Atlanteans’ muggle activities.

Wizardkind was safe from exposure as long as no one panicked. Or did anything monumentally stupid.

The Unspeakables had returned the cancer-cure device, in case the Atlanteans noticed it missing from their inventories. A confundus was all that they used on the muggles to hide their activities. They couldn’t obliviate the people the device had been taken from without risking international relations. Leaving the muggles confused, however, was well within reason.

Dumbledore very much did not want to make either Princess Twilight or Princess Luna, upset with him. Harry Potter was too vital for England’s survival.

Which brought up another problem. He still hadn’t found Voldemort’s agent. He had repeatedly scoured Hogsmeade without success. Everyone there was well known to him, and the strangers were always just passing through, and rarely seen again. And definitely not on the sort of schedule Voldemort’s follower would have had to keep.

Not even the Centaurs had been of help. They just insisted that Mars was bright and rising, although Venus had stopped its decline. Jupiter being in retrograde from the thirtieth until the end of April was a problem in light of the other two. But Saturn starting retrograde before the end of May left only a narrow window of relief when all the planets were in direct motion.

Voldemort’s agent had to be close, which was obvious from the attack on Harry during the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch game. Such a jinx required line-of-sight on the target. And Harry had been quite high at that point, easily visible from a great distance.

Severus had successfully countered the jinx on Harry’s broom, and the boy had made a miraculous Snitch catch that would absolutely go into the record books for Hogwarts — Minerva had alternated between wanting to ground the boy for recklessness, or putting him on a pedestal for defeating the Slytherins. Not that it had been that close of a match. The Gryffindors had clearly been in the lead before the incident.

The boy’s difficulties had allowed the Slytherin team to score a few times while the Gryffindors were distracted, but they were still behind when Harry caught the snitch.

The timing of that worried him, however. Looking at Severus’ memory, it was difficult to tell if Severus had been interrupted before or after the boy’s broom had recovered from the jinx. Could something have distracted the agent? But what? The only ones around the Potions professor had been other professors. And they were all above reproach.

The agent must have noticed Severus opposing him, stopped the jinx, and set the professor’s robes on fire. But before the agent could resume the jinx on Harry, the boy had caught the Snitch.

A most vexing problem. To hex Severus would have required the wizard be much closer — almost in the stands. However, picturing it in his mind’s eye, Severus had been sitting where he was visible from the forest. If someone were in the exact right place, they might have been able to do it. And it was at the edge of Hogwarts’ charms, just far enough to escape detection.

He would have to make Severus the referee for the next match with the Gryffindors. His constant moving about would make it difficult to predict when he would be in a vulnerable position at the same time as Harry. Perhaps he himself would attend. It had been some time since he had last watched a game. It would be a good opportunity to mix with the professors and students.

In the meantime, he would redouble his efforts to find Voldemort’s agent. Whomever he, or she, was, they weren’t a stranger in Hogsmeade. And the regular inhabitants had all been verified as the real wizards and witches. None of them had been substituted with polyjuice or illusions. And none had the slightest taint of Voldemort’s dark magic about them.

So, it must be someone hiding in the forest. Although, to hide there without the Centaurs ever noticing was quite an accomplishment. Unless it was someone who had a hidden tent in the forest and only came out as an animagus. A tent with a fidelius on it would be impossible to find.

But that spell would be unable to hide his or her tracks outside of the coverage area.

Yes, that was probably it. He would expand his investigations into the Forbidden Forest close to the castle. And perhaps put an apparition-detection spell there as well. Then if the agent was coming and going via that method, he would be able to find them. He might not know exactly where this hideout might be, but he would know of its general placement. With that information, he could take action.

Princess Twilight had not been pleased by the Quidditch incident, but he had freely shared the memories and assured her Harry was as safe as if he were back in Equestria. Which, for some reason, she didn’t find as convincing a statement as he had hoped. She had grimaced, sighed, and muttered something about Cutie Mark Crusaders.

He would forward to her his most recent conclusions and solutions regarding the Statute of Secrecy. And perhaps gently chastise her for not warning him of the Embassy reveal and what they were doing with the muggles. The Equestrians were, after all, operating in England and that made the English Ministry of Magic responsible if anything went wrong.

And he would notify her of his latest discovery. He glanced at his hidden desk drawer. It had been an excellent decision to have Professor Lupin accompany him. He owed the wizard a favour, because without his intervention Albus would have put on the ring. Which, considering the curses on it, would have been disastrous for the Headmaster. And the entire wizarding world.

The werewolf hadn’t known the purpose of the trip, of course. Only that a ring in a box, heavily cursed, had been recovered.

Albus was convinced that it was a horcrux. However, based on the battle last time, he wasn’t about to try to destroy the cursed item without sufficient backup. And getting the Princess to verify his discovery would be a bonus.

Proof that he was treating the Equestrians respectfully and truthfully.

With any luck, this horcrux would lock down exactly how many horcruxes had been made. And, thus, how many they needed to find. He suspected that there were at least two more — Slytherin’s locket and Hufflepuff’s Cup. Those had suspiciously disappeared at the same time Tom Riddle had.

۸-_-۸

Castor, his wife, and daughter, stared at the stunningly beautiful room into which they stumbled. If not for the prepared guards, all three probably would have face-planted on the floor as they left the floo. Prince Blueblood just sighed and waited patiently for them to regain their balance.

“As I mentioned earlier,” he said after they had a moment to look around. “We will have an audience with the Princesses just after lunch. This is Professor Bill Neigh,” he nodded towards a unicorn stallion with a grey coat, a white mane and tail, blue eyes with glasses, and what looked like the drawing for a molecule as his cutie mark. He nodded to them politely.

“This is Apple Polish,” Blueblood continued, and indicated a unicorn mare with a cream coat, brown mane and tail, blue eyes, and a red apple cutie mark. She also nodded to the Searles. “They will be showing you around the palace and to your rooms. As well as answering any questions you might have.” He turned to a third pony, a pegasus, “Lieutenant Lightning Streak will help you adjust to your wings while you are here.” The stallion had a blue coat, two-tone yellow mane and tail, green eyes, and lightning-bolt cutie Mark. He was wearing a pair of googles around his neck. “And walking,” the pegasus muttered, smiling at them.

The Ambassador gave the pony a sharp look, but refrained from saying anything in front of the guests.

“I have things I need to do. So until then, I bid you goodbye,” Blueblood said, bobbing his head before he turned and walked out of the room.

Professor Bill Neigh stepped forward first. “This is your first time through the portal, correct? And as a pony?” he asked, eyeing them carefully.

“Yes,” answered Castor for his family. “Prince Blueblood informed us that the Princesses had invited us here when the Embassy was officially announced. He suggested the week after Christmas, your Hearth’s Warming time, as well, I think? He said it was a bit of a quiet time.” Castor looked around uncertainly.

Bill Neigh smiled broadly. “Yes, the week after Hearth’s Warming is usually pretty relaxed. Most ponies are with family, and the palace is pretty empty. It is a good time to look around and avoid crowds.”

Milada, Castor’s wife, said, “We aren’t interrupting your hols, are we?” She glanced at the three.

Apple Polish laughed. “Goodness, no. If anything, you’re saving us from paperwork at the School! That’s where we would be today, otherwise.” She sighed. “Correcting papers.”

The Searles laughed, too, and relaxed at hearing that. “Paperwork,” muttered Castor.

“Indeed,” said Bill Neigh, chuckling.

Lightning Streak stepped closer. “Before we do anything else, seeing as you are new to having wings . . . .” He stopped and shook his head frowning, “Never thought I’d ever say that,” he said as an aside. He cleared his throat. “First, let me show you how your wings work so you’ll be more comfortable. Now, then, stretch your wings as high as you can. That’s it!”

What followed was a lesson in the proper manner in which one was supposed to hold their wings, the exercises they would need to do to keep their wing muscles from cramping through disuse, and the proper care and maintenance of feathers.

“Which is,” he informed them, “a rather intimate procedure shared between close ponies.

“Just so you don’t trip up and hurt yourself with an accident,” the pegasus then said, “I assume that because you’ve never had wings before, you probably won’t have much stamina for flying. You’ll start too fast, stop too late, and misjudge cornering. All those come with experience.

“Oh,” he added, “You needn’t be concerned about hurting yourself severely if you crash. Pegasi are extremely hardy in that respect.” He looked around the room. “For example,” he said, and flew up to the ceiling.

They watched him hover for a moment. Then he shot down across the room. He didn’t merely fall, he actually flapped his wings and added to gravity’s pull. He built up an incredible — to the Searles — speed before he slammed into opposite corner wall.

They gasped and started over to him. They were certain he had killed himself. Or, at the very least, broken bones!

The two professors just shook their heads and face-hoofed, sighing dramatically as they prevented the three from slipping on the floor.

Lightning Streak stood up and shook his head. “Huh,” he said, looking at the dent in wall, “I thought it was tougher than that.” He turned to the gobsmacked humans-turned-pegasi. “See? Nothing to it.” He took a step, slipped, caught himself, and then grinned at them. “I’ve had much worse spills without ending up needing more than a few minutes for my head to stop spinning!”

They stared at him as he flew back to them.

Then they practiced the basic manoeuvres that every pegasus learns as a foal, including hovering for a moment, to get used to the idea of actually flying.

The three ended up swaying around in the air as if they were drunks after a party. And there were a few crashes — that were surprising easy to shake off! Fortunately, the room didn’t contain much in the way of furniture. Castor wasn’t sure if the room was normally this empty, or if the ponies had prepared it beforehand just for the three of them.

That the ceiling in the room was more than high enough to accommodate their tentative attempts was a happy coincidence. Although, considering that a third of the population usually flew, and that the Princesses themselves were so tall, maybe it wasn’t that unexpected.

Bill Neigh and Apple Polish watched from the side-lines, themselves learning things they had never thought to ask their pegasi friends. It was an hour in which Castor found flying under his own power made parachuting seem practically pedestrian and boring. Even being novices, wings gave them a breadth of control that simply outclassed anything he had ever attempted jumping from a plane.

Apple Polish finally interrupted. “Perhaps we should get something to eat from the staff dining room?” she said. “You all look like you haven’t eaten in weeks!” She glanced at the clock beside the door and added, “It’s getting close to lunch time anyway.”

The lieutenant nodded, “Yes. Being hungry does distract you when you’re trying new manoeuvres. And flying around like you have been should have worked up a bit of an appetite. Just fold your wings like I showed you. Firmly, so they don’t droop or drag.”

“If you’re at all hungry at any time, just drop into the dining room,” Apple Polish continued. “It’s open all day and night. Don’t worry about paying for anything. Only day visitors have to reimburse the Crown. Which, as invited guests, you definitely are not.”

It was a rather long walk, and a good way to practice four-hooved locomotion. After a couple of near face-plants, the Searles were taking their first look at what ponies ate. Castor’s wife and daughter were amazed to see fish in the cafeteria-style dining room. The quantity of baked goods was simply amazing. They shook their heads, wondering if ponies lived off of sweets. And seeing things like hay-burgers and hay-fries left them speechless.

“Fish are an important source of energy for pegasi,” Lightning Streak explained. “For our foreign guests, griffons, dragons, and diamond dogs, we import meat as needed — only from non-sentient animals, I assure you!” He shivered. “But fish we stock daily for pegasi.”

The Searles watched closely as the lieutenant grabbed a tray with his wing tips. The three tried to imitate the pegasus and succeeded only in knocking over the stack of trays, to their embarrassment. The two unicorns looked at each other and stepped closer. One restacked the trays while the other pulled out three trays. Then the two held the trays in their magic for the former humans.

Castor noticed how the lieutenant watched them, then selected foods that didn’t require much dexterity. The other two ponies followed his lead. Their three guides showed them how ponies could pick up things with their hooves — which confused the three humans to no small degree. After a few demonstrations, the Searles were able to eat without looking like uncultured slobs, merely careless eaters. No pony laughed at their difficulties, although there were a few smiles. Their three guides’ consideration earned them Castor’s eternal gratitude.

And while the other ponies in the cafeteria did notice the humans’ awkwardness in using the utensils, they didn’t stare or remark on the subject. Or how their companions were correcting them and demonstrating something so simple as eating. Nor how thin they appeared next to their guides and the other ponies.

Castor knew how important cutie marks were to ponies, so he was surprised that no pony remarked upon the three’s clear lack of cutie marks. He saw only raised eyebrows. A few took a second, longer, look to make sure their eyes weren’t playing tricks on them. Then they just pretended not to notice anything amiss. Except for a few surreptitious glances.

Remembering his school experiences, Castor could only wish humans were as considerate and discrete.

Then the humans were escorted to their rooms to relax and “freshen up.” Their guides promised to return in plenty of time to arrive at the appointment with the Princesses.

They were stunned at the . . . well, palatial . . . appearance of the suite they were given. While only three rooms and a bathroom, the suite was ridiculously large. The sitting-room was easily as big as their house, and the bedrooms were not much smaller. Like the rest of the palace, the ceilings were high to accommodate the princesses comfortably, even if they were flying.

No sooner had their guides left than a maid came in and asked if they needed assistance in grooming. When they hesitated, she called two more maids in and they began brushing and combing. Castor discovered why horses liked to be brushed. And from his wife’s and daughter’s reactions, he assumed they liked it as much as he did. And the brushing around his ears was sinfully delightful.

Then came the most embarrassing part of the entire trip. The maids walked them to the pony toilet facilities, and explained how they worked. And did so with great dignity while trying not to embarrass the newcomers, or themselves. Castor suspected the maids had been specially chosen for this, and given a special briefing that they were new to their bodies, and exactly what they might expect.

By the time Prince Blueblood showed up, they were more than presentable. And relaxed. Which disappeared into nervousness the moment he showed up. Bill Neigh and Apple Polish beat him by only a few minutes.

Two guards at the open doors to the Thrones Room held spears upright in their wings. A queue of ponies, both in fancy dress and none at all, were slowly making their way into the room for the afternoon session of the Day Court. The ones wearing plain clothes or none were clearly nervous, the others were just as clearly bored.

A steward with a red-striped hat stood at the door and was comparing names on a list to ponies as they entered. Blueblood ignored the line and made directly for the steward. The fancily dressed and clearly snobbish mare consulted with Blueblood as the rest of their party nervously waited.

The extravagantly clothed nobles had a resigned look at first sight of the Prince, but that changed to surprise and annoyance at seeing the group with him — especially considering their plain appearance. Or, at least, Castor thought they were nobles based on the fancy and intricate clothes they were wearing. Then the entire line migrated to stunned disbelief, and muttering quickly overtook the line. They had realized the three in the middle of the group had no cutie marks!

The pony sniffed as she looked at them, then indicated they should follow her. She led them to a roped-off area where another pony, the Major Domo, Castor presumed, awaited them with a clipboard. The Major Domo was wearing a red jacket with a red hat. After checking the other’s clipboard, the steward returned to her post by the main doors and the line of ponies started moving again. The Major Domo, a white-coated mare with a yellow mane and tail, moved up the platform and to a position at the side of the two thrones.

“You three will remain here until called,” Blueblood instructed them quietly. “We will be over there.” He pointed with his muzzle.

Blueblood moved to a roped off seating section. Bill Neigh, Apple Polish, and Lightning Streak followed him. He took the front seat, they took seats behind him.

One throne had a sun motif and backing, the other a moon. Celestia was seated on the sun throne, naturally. Princess Luna was in the other. They hadn’t expected to see her. Castor had been told she took care of Night Court. Based on the surprised reactions of the ponies entering behind them, and the whispering and glances of those already inside, it was a rare event that brought both princesses to the Thrones Room.

Princess Celestia had an earnest expression, listening to the pony in front of the thrones. Luna’s was a bit bemused, and was sipping daintily from a large cup of some steaming drink held in her magic.

The rest of the ponies stared at the interlopers who had dared to jump the line. While the others had to wait their turn, these three blank-flanks were getting preferential treatment. Some were furious at what they considered an insult, others were merely surprised that three ponies could reach adulthood without cutie marks.

The Thrones Room slowly filled with petitioners and bureaucrats. They all stared at the close group once they realized that maybe these blank-flanks were responsible for the presence of both princesses.

The room was divided into two main seating sections, with the balcony above acting as a third. A small section was clearly for nobles, with comfortable cushions, lounges, chairside tables and an area directly in front set aside for those nobles who planned to speak. It was still filling up as ponies filed in. Only a few were in the area for speakers.

The second section was just as obviously arranged for the commoners, and their supporters, wishing to speak to the Princesses. The seating there wasn’t quite as luxurious as it was for the nobles. The balcony was for an audience, and relatives providing emotional support to those with an engagement to speak. Both sections had ponies still seating themselves, although those scheduled to speak seemed to be nearly in full attendance already.

Armed ponies were stationed at regular intervals around the room, both on the floor and at the ceiling.

Princess Celestia glanced at the Searles, then smiled and nodded as the pony currently in front of her throne finished his speech. “Thank you, Lord Breaking Wind. I accept your advice on that measure and will consider it as carefully as it deserves,” she said. She appeared quite sincere.

Castor wasn’t sure if she was being facetious or serious. Based on his expression, neither could the pony she was addressing. Or the audience. The pony bowed gracefully and sedately walked over to the seating for nobles, just behind the area occupied by Prince Blueblood and the Searles’ entourage. He sat and started a muttered conversation with the ponies beside him.

The Major Domo stepped forward and said, “Castor James Searle, Milada Searle, his wife, and Thalia Searle, his daughter, please approach the throne.”

The three nervously moved to the steps at the base of the throne. Now was not the time for an inadvertent face-plant. The rest of the room interestedly watched, and whispered with their neighbours. The three had known they were going to be seeing the Princesses, but had not expected it to be in such a public venue. From Blueblood’s hints they had thought it had been a brief tea that was planned.

Princess Luna stood, smiled at them, and said, loudly, for all the room to hear clearly, “Let it be known that Castor James Searle has rendered valuable services to Equestria and its Princesses. His assistance has been instrumental in establishing an Embassy in the Human world, as well as arranging an equitable and just relationship with the government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, on the other side of the inter-world portal in Ponyville.”

The room burst into excited chatter. This was the first time that either of the Princesses had mentioned the other world in public, other than to acknowledge its existence and refer questions to the new “Inter-World” Office.

Then Princess Celestia stood and said, “In acknowledgement of those services, we bestow upon him the title, Honorary Knight of the Realm. He shall, henceforth, have a suite at the palace for him and his family when they visit our kingdom and a stipend of ten thousand bits per annum.”

۸-_-۸

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