A Princess's Trials
by Present Perfect
Part 1: Call of the Hippogriffs
"What did you say?"
Hippogriffs were some of the few creatures who could actually look down at Tempest. Regardless, she glared at the guard, her rear legs tensed and head lowered the slightest bit.
"Tempest..." said Twilight, a note of warning in her voice.
The guard's voice rang strong and clear across the crystal walls of Friendship Castle. "Princess Twilight Sparkle has been found guilty of theft, lèse-majesté and crimes against the Crown of Mount Aris and its peoples. She will be taken to Mount Aris immediately to face sentence. Any attempt to interfere with this process will have catastrophic repercussions on the peaceful friendship between Mount Aris and Equestria."
The last was accompanied with narrowed eyes and a dour scowl. Tempest lowered her head and ears even more.
"Just watch me interfere," she said, voice in her chest.
A bolt of panic shot through Twilight's nerves, accompanied by flashes of angry yak eyes. She fought it back only with clear focus. Squaring her shoulders, she intoned, "Stand down, Captain!"
To her credit, Tempest immediately relaxed, snapping her head up and retreating to Twilight's side.
"Apologies, Your Highness," she murmured.
Twilight was at last able to relax as well. "It's fine."
"We are ready to depart, Your Highness," said the second guard. "If you will follow us."
With a nervous grunt, Twilight craned her head around to look at the castle doors. "My friends should be here any second..."
"Don't tell me you're actually letting these... interlopers spirit you away from your own castle," Tempest growled.
"Tempest." Twilight put a hoof to Tempest's chest, locking eyes with her and imploring understanding with her gaze. "Please, let's not have a fight. I talked to them before you arrived, and I'm giving myself up quietly. I know it came as a big shock when I first heard, too, but everything's going to be all right. Just trust me."
Worry and frustration flashed through Tempest's eyes. When it seemed like the storm in her mind might break, she turned away from Twilight. "As you wish."
At that moment, there was a flash and crash of teleportation magic as Starlight and the rest of Twilight's friends appeared in the foyer.
"All here!" Starlight said, cheerful despite collapsing immediately to her stomach, sweat pouring down her face and breaths heaving.
"Sorry we're late," said Rainbow Dash. "Kinda caught me in the middle of storm training with the weather team."
"But now that we are here," said Rarity, "just what is all the fuss about, Twilight?"
"I'm going away for a while." Twilight strode toward them, meeting eyes with each one in turn. "I'm not sure how long for."
She tore her gaze away from them, as one by one they steadily grew more concerned. It ate at her.
"I'm going to Mount Aris," she said quietly, squeezing her eyelids shut. "You all know I don't like bringing it up, but... It's time for me to face what I did there."
There was a collective gasp.
"Twilight!" cried Pinkie, rushing to her side. "You don't mean..."
"I do."
Her friends crowded around her, worries and fears percolating from their lips.
"We're coming with you!" said Rainbow Dash, hovering over Twilight and getting in her face.
"No, Rainbow," Twilight said quietly. "I need to do this alone. I can't drag you all through what I'm about to do. Not again."
Rainbow pointed with both hooves over to Tempest, standing aloof and silent. "Well, you're at least taking Tempest, right?"
"No one could stop me from coming," said Tempest with stoic finality.
"I..." Twilight stopped herself, smiling. She couldn't quite explain the feeling to herself, not beyond the satisfaction that came with knowing her friends understood and supported her decisions. She looked to Tempest, who returned the look just as stoically. "Of course. Thank you, Captain."
"Then it's settled," said Applejack, exchanging satisfied grins with Rainbow.
"We will miss you, Twilight," Fluttershy said, giving her a quick hug. Rarity produced a kerchief from somewhere and dabbed at her eyes as the others filed in for a last embrace.
"Don't worry," said Twilight, giving a smile she wasn't quite feeling up to. "I've arranged with Starlight and Spike to look after the castle. And each other." Starlight waved from her place on the floor. "You can all come give them a hoof if you feel like it. Otherwise, I have c..." Her voice caught in her throat. "Complete faith in their ability to get along without me."
Starlight gave her a sad frown but said nothing.
Shaking herself, Twilight turned to the hippogriffs. "If you're ready, gentlecolts, we're prepared."
"Very well." The lead guard moved ahead of Twilight and Tempest as the other brought up the rear. "Our Queen will doubtless have words for the Conqueror's right hoof." He narrowed his eyes at Tempest, who returned the gaze.
Her friends waved final goodbyes, and Twilight watched them leave with sadness and a little confusion written across their faces. She couldn't help feeling like she was tearing apart their friendship all over again.
Tempest Shadow was not the sort of pony who often found herself in a daze. She was sharp, sharper than most in Ponyville, always aware of her surroundings and frequently calculating the entry and defensive points of whatever building she was in. Her job was and always had been vigilance. Neither warlord nor princess would prize a guard captain unable to maintain awareness at all times.
This was why she remained quiet as the hippogriff guards loaded her and her liege onto the cramped and somewhat rickety sky carriage ahead of their flight to Mount Aris. She simply had no idea what to do when dazed, and things were happening too fast, too outside her own sphere of influence, for her to catch up with them.
They waved goodbye to the gathered ponies below as they lifted into the air. Twilight's friends faded into pinpricks of color. Ponyville became a smear of light green against the darker foliage of the Whitetail Woods. And they were on their way.
Well past the point when she could likely actually see them, Twilight kept her eyes focused on where her friends had been, her brow growing heavier minute by minute. At last, her head drooped, and she heaved a long sigh. Tempest reached her hoof toward her, hesitated, and dropped it.
"Are you all right, Princess?" she asked, voice low.
"Yes. No." Twilight sighed again. "I don't know. Doing the right thing is rarely easy, you know?"
Tempest snorted. "If you don't mind my saying so, Your Highness, I have to wonder why you are doing this at all. Why let them take you?"
A noise of disgust grated out of Twilight's throat. "Like I said, it's the right thing to do. I just wish that some princess had notified me sooner that she'd been talking with a certain queen about renewing extradition treaties!"
At that final, shrill word, one of the hippogriffs craned his head back and barked, "The prisoners will be silent during transport!"
Tempest's brow furrowed. She might not know what to make of being suddenly and unceremoniously whisked away on a prison flight, but she definitely knew how to handle a challenge.
With a voice that could freeze a lake in summer, she barked back, "The escorts will mind their own business."
The guard locked eyes with her, daring her to try anything to follow up the unspoken threat. They glared at one another for fifteen wingbeats as clouds soared past the chariot. The guard turned back to the fore, undoubtedly preferring to keep an eye on where he was flying.
Tempest grunted.
"Well, at least Rainbow Dash was right."
She looked down at Twilight as a hoof brushed against her foreleg. The Princess smiled up at her. "I'm glad I don't actually have to face this alone."
"But why, Princess?" Tempest shook her head slowly. "You owe these hippogriffs nothing."
Letting out a breath, Twilight sat back on the bench and dropped her chin to her hooves. "I wronged them, Tempest. In a moment of weakness, I stole something precious which belonged to them."
And Twilight told Tempest all about what had happened during her first visit to Mount Aris. Toward the end of Twilight's story, her eyes widened. "At least, I hope that's all this is about."
A twisting mass formed in Tempest's stomach, as though something were trying to sprout up her throat.
"The point is, the hippogriffs are friends of Equestria, and as a Princess of Equestria, it's my duty to do right by them and face their justice."
Twilight looked through the porthole at her side, shuddered, and returned her gaze to the floor. "If I'm being honest, I didn't want any of my other friends to come because... That whole incident is still kind of a sore spot between us. I don't like thinking about it. One more reason I'm glad it's you who came along."
Twilight's intent was immediate, but Tempest couldn't help feeling just a bit stung. Add that to the list of things that had happened in the past hour she didn't quite know how to deal with. Maybe, if the idea that she lacked some shared experience with Twilight that Rainbow Dash and the others had, however negative or painful, then this whole 'friendship' thing actually was something she wanted.
"Are you all right, Tempest?" Twilight placed a hoof on Tempest's leg, and she jumped slightly, rocking the carriage. "You went quiet all of a sudden."
"I do that," was Tempest's immediate reply, but she shook her head. "Forgive me. I cannot help feeling that, what you and your friends went through wouldn't have happened if not for me. That, however partial, however indirect, it was my fault."
She could not meet her Princess's gaze.
"Tempest..."
Strong hooves wrapped around Tempest in a hug that felt like fire, then ice. Tempest could only accept it; she had no other choice. Perhaps it was what she needed. She would ever admit if it were.
"If it helps," said Twilight softly, "I forgive you. I'd forgive you ten times over before I forgave myself."
Tempest couldn't help but smile. "I know that feeling all too well, Your Highness."
Yes, maybe Tempest was on the right path after all.
However many stones that path might hold.
Hmm, the Treason charge party doesn't really make sense though given Twilight was never a subject of the Crown of Mount Aris but regardless for the drama I guess.
Woo-hoo! New chapter and... no stupid school, right?
It's Alive!!!
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You're right, but it's a small hiccough in the grand scheme of things. I think we'll be able to handwave it off.
This stinks. No other governmental shenanigans? No letter from Celestia? Charged with a theft that was stopped before it happened and treason for a nation she doesn't belong to?
I'm going to guess political machinations or even renegades, and either way I look forwards to Tempest defenestrating the people responsible.
Treason only applies in the case of being a citizen of the realm you commit a crime in, as a higher up in her own government she should have diplomatic immunity, and the relationship between the kingdoms obviously meant little to Equestria in the first place given their lack of involvement with the Storm King during his initial assault on them. Also it’s more likely that the Hippogryphs would just demand reparations from Equestria given that it’s de facto ruler in absentia was the one who committed the crime. Sorry just felt the need to point all that out due to being a pedantic ass.
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I will not get cold feet
I will not get cold feet
I will not get cold feet
I will not get cold feet
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Wouldn’t expect you to. I just hate leaving things unsaid when it comes to words, history, and logic. Besides all things considered the governments in MLP are kinda messed up no matter how you look at it.
Next chapter when?
It's already his luckiest day: first Tempest hasn't wiped him out, then Starlight hasn't wiped him out, then Rainbow Dash hasn't wiped him out. And that guy is continuing to push his luck?
I'm, she failed in the theft and was already punished with being kicked out AND being a member of Equestria's ruling body does not make this work.
This chapter is just not believable. I suggest a rewrite.
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As say little to the hippogriffs. Never asked for help from Equestria or even warn them of the Storm King and refused to help points more to them then equestria.
As excited as I am to see this back, I have to echo the sentiments of others regarding the current situation. I hope you have a good explanation for why a foreign nation is being permitted to extradite one of its ally's heads of authority on charges of treason against a monarchy of which she is not a subject.
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Next Tuesday! :D Chapters following this one will be more substantial.
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Twilight's not the head of shit. She's the princess of friendship. Her castle's in a podunk town in the middle of nowhere. She doesn't have a kingdom, she doesn't make decrees, she's not a ruler, just a unicorn with wings. Tempest kind of brought that up in the first story, after all...
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My bad for not doing research. I have changed the mention of treason -- which, I should mention, is the only mention in the story -- to something hopefully more fitting. Also interesting, from my perspective.
That said, the nature of the charge is not what's important here. If people get too hung up on that, well, I'm not sure this story was worth reanimating. :/
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I feel like, even with the context of the story, a reply like that is a tad bit out of line. Regardless of what she [Princess Twilight] commands, her title is still *Princess*, and that cannot be changed. The sentiments of quite a few here—one I actually share but still—were made mostly with logical backing without rancor, and I feel like a response such as this is bit...knee-jerk and crass? I think you should think long and hard about the story you're presenting, and how you handle the people critiquing your work, before moving forward, because your responses to people thus far have been rather...lacking in courteousness and respect for the audience you currently have garnered. Don't lose people who enjoy your work because of reactions and responses made in haste.
Congratz, you got featured again. 8/6/2019
Oh, nice to see this back! Slow burn romance still has to burn, and I'm curious to see how their relationship will grow. Cells get quite cold and lonely after all, even if they're gilded cages
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Okay, so you're right. You can't read tone on the internet, and I'm taking the comments as very "how dare you not know this", and projecting my own insecurities onto them. I'm being overly dramatic for no reason. Fact is, it wasn't the length of this story that took me over a year to write it; I needed a few months and eight shitfics after the previous entry to forget the intensely negative reaction to the end of that story. And now I'm remembering again and all the insecurity is flooding back.
What I need to beg for right now is patience. I seem to have lost the trust of my readers, they're not willing to wait for imperfect information to be cleared up. So if anything about what's going on right now bothers anyone reading, all I can say is, Twilight and Tempest don't know the whole story, and hopefully by the end of it, the answers they get will be satisfying. "Just what kind of a princess is Twilight, anyway?" is a question I'm exploring in this story, but we're just seeing the tip of the iceberg right now. Answering it is going to require an even slower burn than the romance.
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That's completely fair. I myself was going to wait this out and see how things lead, but I wanted to say something as a lot of the to-and-fros have seemed very off the cuff, and I wanted to point something out before things got, well, TOO out of hand with readers and author. You at the very least have my trust moving forward, and I'm looking forward to how these dynamics are explored as we venture further, but uh...yeah. Doesn't really need to be said, but don't let past insecurities bog you down when you're working with a new/old concept you hold close. Take what a lot of people say with a grain of salt and consideration, and hopefully your audience can let you craft a story how you want to craft it, even if that means making a couple tweaks when certain people point out something that you may or may not have considered previously. Hopefully that last part doesn't sound too...condescending? Patronizing? As you said, tone in text on the internet can be a bit hard to discern, I just hope for the best for both parties moving forward :D
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It's not the fact the hippogriffs are trying this it's Equestria's response as is that is the issue. Twilight is third in line since Cadence is ruling the Empire. So we feel that their would be objections to this act.
And I am waiting to see what happens.
I hate dropping stories that have promise where the author makes a bad move. I try warn them but don't always listen. Ultimately it is your choice but your choice can lose readers.
Trying people in absentia and without giving them an opportunity to participate in their own defense isn't really a good look for the hippogriffs. My gut reaction would be to tell them to screw off until they've developed a more modern judicial system.
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That was "Something is rotten in the state of Sequestria" stinks, not "terrible writing" stinks. I can believe Twilight would go along with it; she's neurotic and trusting enough. I can believe Tempest and friends would go with it because Twilight went with it. The question is whether Spike is competent enough to send off "Hey, uh, Celestia, is this legit?"
I apologise if it came off accusatory, I'm just theorising off the given information.
I look at those charges and my response is: "No. No... Aaaaand. No."
Also, sovereign nations don't let the police/military forces of other nations walk in to a palace and arrest someone, middle of nowhere or no (You wouldn't send a North Korean officer to KANSAS to arrest someone who lives on a farm), even if extradition is negotiated. That is the job of OwnNation's personnel, and leadership. In short, letting a Hippogriff guard walk into the palace and arrest Twilight would be a flagrant disregard of jurisdiction. And Tempest has every right to smear the interloper all over the walls. The proper diplomatic move is to tell Mt. Aris to hold their horses (see what I did there?), dispatch Celestia/Luna to discuss this with Twilight personally, and, without even having to have the Princesses insist she do it (Celestia would defend her even at the cost of some diplomatic tension, Luna would likely defend Twilight even if it meant WAAAAAUGH!), have Twilight go 'No, I have to do this'.
Throwing the Broken Jaw Waiting To Happen into the mix is just an excuse to want to break a Hippogriff's jaw... Beak... Thing.
Hell, give me a day, a Los Angeles class nuclear attack submarine with no ammo, and time at the sonar console, and I'll have Mt. Aris surrendering wholesale to Equestria for such absurd charges.
Now...
*Points at PresentPerfect*
Get back in the Giant Robot, Shinji!
So are the hippogriffs looking for a war or something? You do not just send soldiers to a foreign country and arrest their royalty. It is a display of extreme hostility and disrespect to the country being invaded. These things are why diplomatic immunity exists. It would be like Iraqi soldiers coming to America and arresting George W. Bush because he invaded under questionable circumstances.
Look, I get you that you need high stakes, but there are better ways to put Tempest and Twilight in a tough situation together without resorting to something that makes no sense. Here are some ideas:
1. Ponies attempting a coup against the weakened crown, reasoning the princesses are not putting the safety of the nation first and not adequately punishing criminals. They even have a good point!
2. Monsters still loyal to the Storm King seeking revenge against Tempest and Twilight.
3. Just having an emissary from the hippogriffs come and demand an explanation for Twilight's actions, putting them both on the spot without risking an unnecessary war. The consequences of worsening relations between the two countries, and putting a massive stain on Twilight's reputation as Princess of Friendship, is all the drama you need.
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I’d prefer you go on with it. I apologize if what I said comes off as harsh or overly critical. As I said in my original post I have a real hang up with leaving things unsaid. As I said in my second post the governments of MLP don’t necessarily operate the same way ours have in similar historical situations, so the criticism isn’t even entirely valid. I have very much enjoyed the earlier chapters and even with my gripes I am looking forward to seeing where this goes, assuming you choose to continue it.
"Dear birdbrains. I don't know where you got the idea you had the authority to arrest Twilight and steal her away from her own castle. Return her and Tempest at once or I will melt Mt. Aris and boil Seaquestria. The survivors I will feed to Luna. I am through letting the ponies I care about be harmed.
And no, this isn't a declaration of war. This is pest control."
"Signed, Daybreaker (also known as Princess Celestia)."
"PS: Note use of evil name. I AM NOT PLAYING AROUND HERE."
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No need to apologize. :) I know when I like something, I want it to be the best it can possibly be.
Well, it's nice to see Princess Celestia's ability to keep her student informed of important matters is still consistent, lol.
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Yeah, I think most people are just reading this as putting the ass in ambassador, not complaining about the writing. I never liked Novo anyway.
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I've got one more to add to that list:
4. There's a whole lot of tension between Equestria and the Hippogriffs, so Twilight decides all on her own to go straight to Novo to give herself up instead of letting things deteriorate further.
She's been prepared to risk life and limb time and again to restore harmony. Choosing the self-sacrificing play for the greater good seems to be in character for her. Besides, protagonists are supposed to be ones whose actions drive the story forward. Twilight and Tempest should be seeking to resolve the problem, not merely reacting to decisions already made by others.
There's a valid point Twilight could make for her defense : she wanted to save her people and was getting desperate as Novo had refused to help in any way.
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International politics is more often about saving face, Twilight's punishment will be mostly symbolic. After all Twilight is also a hero for the Hippogriffs as she defeated the storm King, heck even Tempest is responsible for killing him no creature will hold that particular action against her.
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I still trust you! In fact, I figured that the bogus charges and trial in absentia were a sign that Something's Going On Here, and once Twilight figured out that the whole thing was a sham, she'd start kicking flank and renegotiating treaties.
For the record, since this whole fic is hewing pretty close to the show in terms of tone, themes, and acceptable audience (I wouldn't hesitate to let an eight-year-old read it), I don't mind the breeches in what would happen in THE REAL WORLD. Sure, in THE REAL WORLD things like soldiers coming onto foreign soil publicly to arrest foreign nationals just does not happen, but in a fairly loose fantasy world of ridiculous plot twists? It can happen.
There's a certain five-part Godawful fanfic series I could bring up as a point of contrast that was set in a much more SERIOUS world where this sort of thing would be ridiculous to even consider (and therefore would probably happen...), but frankly the less time spent contemplating the literal trainwreck that The Third Wheel series became and ended on, the better.
If it really bothers anyone that much, an acceptable compromise might be the hippogriffs are there with some Equestrian royal guards initially, the extradition treaty thing could be mentioned a little earlier, and all in all this could be done with the understanding that it's happening with Celestia's consent (if not blessing) in order to foster better relations with the hippogriffs. And of course in later chapters we establish that this is a bit more of a series of symbolic gestures. Like, Twilight's punishment is that she has to live as Queen Novo's hostage for a season or something.
Now the ultimate question. Which happens first the next chapter or the season 9 finale
Edits!
One less "not", maybe?
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The next chapter. :P A Princess's Trials, at least, is finished and will update every Tuesday.
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Huh! Good catch, thank you!
Well, no, she tried to steal something precious to them and got caught by the security jellyfish. She never laid a fin-hoof on the Pearl. Though given Novo's reaction to the attempt, the current extradition definitely lines up with what we've seen of Seaquestrian justice.
Yeah, I honestly don't have a problem with the situation thus far, other than the sense of overwhelming ingratitude on the part of the hippogriffs. I imagine this goes much deeper than anyone in Ponyville realizes. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
OBJECTION! Princess Twilight did not steal the pearl, she attempted to and was stopped. She can only be charged with attempted theft! Also would the "hornorable" queen of Mt Eris and Seaquestria like to come to Equestria and answer for her crime of 7 counts of reckless endangerment and attempted murder? Changing the Mane 6 and Spike back to air breathing beings while still very deep under water is not just negligent, but doing so with the knowledge they could die from drowning kind of overshadows Twilight's ATTEMPTED theft. I mean since we're making heads of state be held responsible for their actions.
This course of events is simply not believable. The hippogryphs were in Canterlot celebrating with the ponies at the end of the movie; every single individual involved was present and able to deal with something apparently so severe and urgent that it requires the immediate and unconditional arrest of one of the princesses of the realm. The motivation of Twilight wanting to improve relations between them does not support her decision; if you tried to steal your neighbor's ladder to rescue your child from a burning building, would you then allow your neighbor to break into your home and drag you out forcibly with the expectation of "we will all be good friends again after I let my neighbor harm me in whatever way he wants"? People looking to remain friends do not behave like that.
The author mentioned "incomplete information" which I take to mean that the author will make a comment on the next chapter saying "See, I told you guys! I totally set it up one way but did an epic twist and that wasn't what was happening at all! Now you should all feel silly for taking what I wrote at face value!". This method of creating tension really only works properly when the next chapter is already available, as in a written novel. Otherwise it leaves the readers with nothing to do but speculate and evaluate in the meantime, which is something the author was apparently not overjoyed about.
Removing Twilight from her friends disables the elements of harmony, which is Equestria's only trump card against magical threats. The pissant hippogryph country, which got conquered by the Storm King without Equestria noticing, which did nothing to help Equestria being occupied by a hostile power, and which has a ruler who is making decisions based on her vanity and ego alone, is not worth giving up the EoH to maintain relations with. Celestia would have immediately told them to pound sand with the caveat that if they dared try something that stupid again, they would be getting flash-boiled back to having a city on the surface.
Ah right! Forgot it left off at "you're under arrest!"
Well glad to see this resumed and the arc to be completed. (I'm not a nitpicky sort, so you won't hear anything from me about international fiction law and whatnot )
I can't help but say that if a foreign country, friendly or not, would send soldiers into another country to arrest not just a citizen of said country but a leader, the resulting reaction from the offended country would be... extremely severe.
I would complain about how unrealistic Princess Twilight being arrested by the Hippogriffs is, but looking at the comments, I feel that you've been told that enough...
Pretty disappointed, though.
Well, we all make mistakes and all that. Comes with being human.
Anyway, I now feel the urge to write what a hypothetical diplomatic correspondence would look like. Although, perhaps the term ultimatum would be better.
Disclaimer: Accuracy not guaranteed, and obviously not compliant with the story. Also, it's long.
URGENT
Important Diplomatic Correspondence From Equestria to Seaquestria
Unto Her Majesty, Queen Novo of Seaquestria, Sovereign of Seaquestria,
It has been brought to the the attention of the sovereign nation of Equestria that Her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, Princess of Equestria, Bearer of the Element of Magic, Defender of Harmony, Stella Eximia, Champion of Knowledge, The Rising Star, has been arrested at the Castle of Friendship, an Equestrian Royal Property, by two hippogriff Guards acting under the power of the Seaquestrian Crown. It is Our understanding that this has been done in response to Her Highness's actions at Seaquestria regarding the Seaquestrian magical artifact The Pearl of Transformation during the Storm King's Invasion of Equestria, namely Her Highness's attempt to retrieve it in order to use it against the Storm King in her attempts to liberate Canterlot and the surrounding areas from his control.
We are prepared to enter peaceful, civilized negations in order to settle any outstanding grievances between Equestria and Seaquestria resulting from this act, and do express Our deepest regrets at the unfortunate actions of Princess Twilight during a time of extreme emergency for Equestria. However, it is to Our utter dismay that the Seaquestrian Crown has chosen to forego diplomatic communications entirely and arrest foreign royalty in their own residences without any warning whatsoever for actions that, while understandably offending, were taken under extreme duress in a time of war. Furthermore, it is Our opinion that the arrest of one the creatures responsible for the defeat of the Storm King, thus also liberating Hippogriffia, is the height of disrespect and an action that would incite the resentment of everycreature who has been saved by Her Highness.
In response to these unprecedented actions taken by Seaquestria, We forthwith demand that Princess Twilight be returned to Equestria at once, after which the aforementioned negotiations can be undertaken. This is non-negotiable, and any attempt to subvert this on your part will be dealt with accordingly. Should Her Highness not be returned within three days of this letter being received or one week of this letter being sent, or it is discovered that harm has befallen Her Highness in Your Majesty's custody, We shall make our displeasure clear, and Equestria shall move to ensure repercussions are felt by Seaquestria and that Her Highness is secured. In addition, we shall hold Your Majesty responsible for any civil unrest that may result from any injustice felt from Her Highness's treatment.
It is Our dearest hope that Princess Twilight is returned safely and timely, and that relations between Equestria and Seaquestria – nations which have faced a common threat – improve, and, should Your grace permit, enter a period of mutual peace, friendship, and Harmony.
Her Highness, Princess Celestia, Princess of Equestria, Princess of the Sun, Co-sovereign of Equestria,
Defender of Harmony, Sol Invicta, The Eternal Light, Ruler of the Day
Her Highness, Princess Luna, Princess of Equestria, Princess of the Moon, Co-sovereign of Equestria,
Defender of Harmony, Nox Impavida, Guardian of Dreams, Mistress of the Night
Her Highness, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Love, Princess of Equestria,
Defender of Harmony, Amor Aeterna, Bringer of Love, Mistress of Romance, Princess of the Crystal Empire
Phew. Spent a lot of time on this. More than I should've, I think.
Edit: Added some subtle threats to the Ultimatum. Points to anyone who can guess what they are!
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Yep. That about sums up what Equestria's response needs to look like. "We're being civil and polite because we have the option to not be. Give her back."
Edit: read the edited version too, looks even better. Excellently captures the proper tone and setting for an official royal missive from one nation to another and the way that things should be handled in such a case.
Reminds me of Dumbledore' quote.
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Psssht, what would he know.
(Don't take this too seriously. I'm personally not very fond of that particular character)
Oh good... I always wanted to loathe Novo a little more. Nothing against the story in general, far from it this seems an excellent theater for growth between Princess and Captain, but uh... buck Mount Aris in particular. It's not just Novo; the 'escorts' aren't helping, either. You're escorting royalty who has saved the world multiple times (you know, that one you live on). If you can't remember that, and weigh it against the nature of her 'crimes', you were the wrong picks for the job. Twilight's attempting to avoid a diplomatic incident.. these jackwagons seem intent on trying to incite one.
Glad I got back to this finally! You write a simply wonderful Tempest here, and a great Twilight as well, among others. Now... into the seawolves' den we go...
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That's the nicest euphemism for war crimes I've ever heard!