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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not that impressed
8666175
Noooooo my Heart.... It hurts...
8666322
Just kidding man I love that chapter. Anyways I hope that in this Story Celestia gets her ass really f****** whoop. also it's not that I'm a Celestia hater is that I've been wanting to read a story with Celestia gets f***** up. Is it wrong off me to want something like that?
8666428
Absolutely no mate don't worry everyone Will gets what they deserve
8666429
Yessss~~~~
so this celetia is a species surpremicist... huh. seems he didnt quite miss the mark when he asked if he was pregnant heh. unless i understood that wrong. either way nice chapter, diologe feels a bit rushed but i wont hold that against you. look forward to more and so many dead insane scientists.
8668351
Thank you for you'r support! Yes you understood perfectly, and Yes there Will bè sooo many dead scientists, just in a way you won't expect.
8668589
i'm ok with surprises but will it be one i will enjoy. hmmmm, time will tell. so, sirprise me! XD
8668714
Alright then, One order of surprise for the sir guys!
'Yes sir!' said my brain cell.
I should introduce myself I’m pure OCD and as such I do corrections when I read stories some are simple grammar mistakes and some are my own ideas told as suggestions. I’m also somewhat of a consultant when it comes to stories so If you're ever stuck P.M. me I’m great at helping with plot points.
godess
I thought of the best speech to say at a time like this. “Celestia you aren't really that special, sure you can move the sun but so can ten trained mages you might me powerfull but others can do what you do easily, me on the other hand I always change, I could become the strongest creature in this world in ways that no one else can, you might be the goddess of the sun but I’m the god of MEAT.
This isn't really an error but most writers on this site use ‘ instead of “ for thoughts
I always thought that the weight problem was interesting but I came up with a solution an anti gravity rune on an amulet it wouldn't make him weightless but it would lighten him by quite a few pounds. Also this is my headcanon on how those pegasi were able to fly while carrying pianos and how they can pull chariots so easily.
brought
escorted
reasonable
tobecome
I know thats not even close but I thought of this.
“a” an is reserved for when theres a vowel is after it.
ran
monstrosity
its
hit
landed
its
there's too many “and”s in that sentence
just “thicker” would do
strength
I don't know what that tough should be.
these
“told me” is what you were going for although “she said” would flow better.
ethereal
stars
torn
I’m
they
Kill my daughter, I'll kill your family. Cute a smile on your face and witness what hell is like.
Princess should be capitalized, since it's her title/identifier.
If the goddess part is an official title she uses, then Goddess of the Sun should also be capitalized.
Equestria should also be capitalized.
Just a small nitpick: Celestia said that he was found as a unicellular organism and evolved to his current state, but Blacklight was a virus that infected other cells and recreated sentience within the host to consume the other cells. This means that Philip isn't a Blacklight being, but just a genetically advanced organism capable of assimilation.
south park nice :)
This is extremely difficult to read. You need an editor to look this over.
You really should get a proofreader to come and check over these chapters, also edit and re-write them as well to make them better.
So the element bearers are his children nice
let me guess that was twilight coming into the world
When he gets around to killing celestia he's gonna be like
Omae wa mou shindeiru
"Hey 000 good news. You know what time is it?" Said the voice in the intercom.
"I.MUST.RESIST.I HAVE TO. I... " "It's muffin time?"I asked. "Nooo brain why? You failed me!
lol
i am dead