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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great work keep it up and I hope sunset defend her family
8738628
Thanks man!
like what rainbowdash said
"Sooooo Awsome!!"...*Sqeee*
8738667
Thank you my little draconequus
8739021
I explained it further ahead the virus was inside the cell they retrieved but they never noticed the virus inside so the think that he is a normal creature when in reality he's not. He's made of blacklight don't worry. And thanks for the suggestion!
OMNI:Oh...hi undyne.
8739143
Battle against a true hero intesifies
erase the “more”
erase the “more”
two things
1 “impregnate” is a strange phrase to use there I’d suggest “permeates” or “inhibits”the forest
2 If you do want to use “impregnate” it should be “impregnates”
I guess, I kinda get that the bear coulda had some type of superspeed in his anthro form but thats not very clear.
it’s
find
flew
scan
my
barracks
I know thats the term for the group but it should be pluralized there because you're talking about the members.
a
was finished
skeletal or a skeletons
by his mane
were
an earthquake
it
she
shot
she cut off both fangs so shouldn't there be two jets of blood?
shrug sounds to casual I’d suggest “shake her off” if you don't want to use “thrash” agein.
“like when you lick off the chips from your hands.”
ok that was a weird way to put it and it kinda ruins the badass tenson of the battle.
was
its
murderer
“large“ instead of “big”
was
contains
out
“for the” instead of “that”
teleport
I think “Omega” should be plural there
a
he went from a “it” to a “him” in the same sentence pickone.
I don't remember bim showing the facility the disguise ability at all so how do they know about that?
there's an “a” missing there.
Ok I don't really know how lightning is supposed to be used as a propellant but it's practically a trope now so I might as well come up with an explanation for it now.
explanations could include
a) he uses the electromagnetic forces of the planet and the iron in his blood to create a conflicting magnetic force that makes him almost levitate and this more susceptible to kinetic forces like he generates by running. (still bull for so many reasons
b) he could be trapping air in his body and use the electricity to supercharge the atoms until they try to explode out of him and he just channels the gases out of his back like a plasma jet engine. (more realistic but still crazy)
c) hes half transforming his body INTO electricity and manipulating it to go in certain directions while catching a ride by essentially turning his entire body into electricity for a millisecond but when he transforms back he keeps the momentum of where the electricity was going. (this one uses magic to its advantage and thus makes the most sense for the story and how he's using it)
shot
depending on your definition of gods they do bleed in fact one of thor's brothers died by being impaled on a branch of mistletoe, long story. https://norse-mythology.org/tales/the-death-of-baldur/
I
I never saw the signs before so
large
I don't know what “snap open” means can you describe what that means
created it in a way
separate
can you add a picture in the comments to help visualize the spear I tried to look it up and got a lot of really different looking examples.
felt myself grow more powerful and lighter
I can only assume her cub also had the ability to create weapons as a phisicalmanifastation of his power and that mercer also absorbed that ability as well.
Lady he has ambrosia and has shown he has the ability to BREAK YOUR BONES you should just assume he has all the godly abilities now.
8738898
You are right thanks man I'll change that ASAP.
8740156
All of your questions will be answered in the next chapter but I can tell you this.
3rd is right.
P.s. I added the image of gungnir, is the best one I could find around that resemble the one I imagined.
8740410
3rd as in how he uses electricity to go faster or the first bear being a demigod?
nomeno ui jennu! kii tir si nurti ehtah nomenoi svadrav si gewjtokvi search ihk astahi!?
8741305
Hehehehe you will have to wait until next chapter to knoooow~~~~
8741545
Hahahahaha
I don't have the slightest idea of what you just said.
8742400
That was a terrible, non answer that will only infuriate your readers... today you are a true writer my friend that or Scott Coffin but mostly a true writer.
8742407
About your answer on how they knew that he could shapeshift. In chapter 1 Becker said to him that he was the first living creature that survived the enhancement and that he was created
8742411
Ok I completely forgot about that.
8742470
That's why I'm here, to help the readers understand the story!
8742402
kwi bivai Vs'shtak... tenpiswo ui|ulph vi swatina!
http://draconic.twilightrealm.com/mini.php
8742927
Alright 2 things.
1) thanks for the compliment.
2) i tried to translate it on Google translate and this is what it came out. From Japanese to English.
Meiji Yuenjeou! I am sorry to inform you that I'm sorry. What?
I never was more confused
8742941
XD coi ui|ulph ti japanese enel ve!
How does this story not have more likes?
8744453
Who knows? But I'm happy regardless it's comments like yours that give me the determination to continue to write >:)
8748212
;) Right on the nail