Stupid Dress Stupid Ponies

Rarity gets carried away, It was only a dress, Stupid dress, Stupid dragon, Stupid Sweetie Belle. Stupid ponies.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 8
- Newest First
- Oldest First

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #1 · Dec 31st, 2017 · 1 · ·

Darling! I didn't mean it...
Are you sure?
I mean, you did call us stupid, Rarity.
It was in a moment of anguish!
Words cannot be unsaid.
Trixie thinks Spike needs a mare who appreciates him.
Spike agrees.

Sorry bro, had to do it.

Hillbe

Hillbe #2 · Dec 31st, 2017 · · ·

8640932
splendid darling simply splendid. . . You may burn him now....

Oh company. . .Chocolate Cake?

Path_of_cloud

Path_of_cloud #3 · Dec 31st, 2017 · · ·

8641040
I feel like we've probably had this conversation before. You're story is broken into a mess. It's cute and its amusing and the grammar is decent (albeit errors exist) and that's all good. Here's whats not.

Sweeties mind pondered the camera in front of her. Rarity wanted some shots of her newest creation, A wedding gown
commissioned for Sugar Belle to be at the ready for that big question from Big Mac. It was a fine Equesrian country tradition
that most fillies kept for marehood. Even Apple Jack had a hand me down gown from her Ma and Granny Smith.

You have whole new lines(as in hitting enter to got a new line not a new sentence.) They're both the same sentence and the same paragraph. It should look like this (I fixed the errors while I was at it. Also Applejack, one word.)

Sweetie's mind pondered the camera in front of her. Rarity wanted some shots of her newest creation, A wedding gown commissioned for Sugar Belle to be at the ready for that big question from Big Mac. It was a fine Equestrian country tradition that most fillies kept for marehood. Even Applejack had a hand me down gown from her Ma and Granny Smith.

No massive random gaps. This is everywhere in the story.

Hillbe