• Member Since 30th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago

Hillbe


Master of Disaster

E

Spike & Sweetie Belle go window shopping, Rarity waits for her date for Hearts and Hooves Day.
It's a long long wait. For the EQD Hearts and Hooves Day 'contest'???

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 24 )

Gonna to be a what?

5605235

Rarity whispered into his ear. . .:duck:

I'm going to be a what?:moustache::raritywink::facehoof:

A Papa:trollestia:

:rainbowlaugh:
That was pretty funny, but you should really get an editor.

5608285 What needs work? It is what it is , warts and all.

5608295 Just your all around grammar, misspellings, and that you apparently have a comma shotgun.

5608303 Good enough info thanks,:raritystarry::moustache:

Comma shotgun? th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2015/028/3/9/b_1_by_hillbe-d8fqo3a.jpg

How's a comma cluster bomb?

5608375 That would explain your comma placement.:trollestia:

5614858 :rainbowderp:.....and that picture looks like imminent rape to me...

5614873 It was for MARKED when the CMC ambushed Spike and forced him to ask Rarity on a date.:duck::moustache::applecry::unsuresweetie::scootangel::twilightoops:

5614901 Is that one of your fics?
If so then now I've something more to read:pinkiehappy:.

5614910 Yes it is. MARKED-----SCOOTALOO FLYS A HUEY----NO SPIKE NO!-----See them now on pay per view !:twilightoops: WUT !

:moustache: Pay per view ? Dude that's TV not Fimfiction. . .
:raritystarry: So I've been cheated for all this time ! I WANT A REFUND !
:pinkiehappy: PINKDOZER!

:rainbowhuh: 20% LESS AWESOME
:trollestia: TO THE MOON !

:ajsmug: buck it
:flutterrage: YOU ARE GOING TO READ ME !

:derpytongue2: I don't know how to write! My bad. . .

I like it. Quality story with overall good score in my opinion

That's wonderful. Twilight rage at it's finest.


Oh and you don't put spaces in between the end of the sentence and the period, quotation marks, exclamation marks, etc.

Example

" Hoof salute ! All Hail Thee Great Honorable , Brave and Glorious Spike thee Dragon ! At ease ! "

Should be

"Hoof salute! All Hail Thee Great, Honerable, Brave and Glorious Spike the Dragon! At ease!"

One major flaw, I highly doubt Fluttershy would ever make deviled eggs.

5956922 She raises chickens and feeds bears, eggs for sugar cube corners baked goods or Apple family pies. . .Not that far of a stretch is it?:flutterrage: YOU ARE GOING TO EAT THEM!

5956935 Applejack owns her own chickens, and Pinkie most likely gets her eggs from Applejack.
I believe that Fluttershy would be against using eggs in any food, but would respect her friends ways of life because she's to nice to try and force them goest them.

Comment posted by Phoenix Nebula deleted Mar 29th, 2016

The only thing that puts me off is the grammar. But, the story overall is good. Love the letter and Spike's comment about eggs, especially

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