Hillbe
Joined 30th Jun, 2014 ·
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Gonna to be a what?
5605235
Rarity whispered into his ear. . .
I'm going to be a what?
A Papa
That was pretty funny, but you should really get an editor.
5608285 What needs work? It is what it is , warts and all.
5608295 Just your all around grammar, misspellings, and that you apparently have a comma shotgun.
5608303 Good enough info thanks,
Comma shotgun? th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2015/028/3/9/b_1_by_hillbe-d8fqo3a.jpg
How's a comma cluster bomb?
5608375 That would explain your comma placement.
5614664 I have a lot more to learn. . .
http://th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2015/029/c/a/marked_cmc_x_spike_by_hillbe-d8fxzwg.jpg
5614858
Yep.
5614858
.....and that picture looks like imminent rape to me...
5614873 It was for MARKED when the CMC ambushed Spike and forced him to ask Rarity on a date.
5614901 Is that one of your fics?
.
If so then now I've something more to read
5614910 Yes it is. MARKED-----SCOOTALOO FLYS A HUEY----NO SPIKE NO!-----See them now on pay per view !
WUT !
5614938 dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/141016462878.png
Indeed.
I like it. Quality story with overall good score in my opinion
That's wonderful. Twilight rage at it's finest.
Oh and you don't put spaces in between the end of the sentence and the period, quotation marks, exclamation marks, etc.
Example
Should be
"Hoof salute! All Hail Thee Great, Honerable, Brave and Glorious Spike the Dragon! At ease!"
5724840 fixed
One major flaw, I highly doubt Fluttershy would ever make deviled eggs.
5956922 She raises chickens and feeds bears, eggs for sugar cube corners baked goods or Apple family pies. . .Not that far of a stretch is it?
YOU ARE GOING TO EAT THEM!
5956935 Applejack owns her own chickens, and Pinkie most likely gets her eggs from Applejack.
I believe that Fluttershy would be against using eggs in any food, but would respect her friends ways of life because she's to nice to try and force them goest them.
Cute and funny
Yay
7717723 thank you
The only thing that puts me off is the grammar. But, the story overall is good. Love the letter and Spike's comment about eggs, especially