First Contact

by Cmdr Brohoof

He Who Dares...

Lyra and Dr. Hood sat across from the Admiral in a ship headed down to Equestria. The doctor stared furiously at him while Lyra was still taking in the strange surroundings.
"Doctor what was wrong with Hendricks?" Lyra asked.
"Care to explain that?" she asked the Admiral.
The Admiral looked at Lyra only his eyes could be seen through the visor. "Don’t worry you’ll see him again very soon."
"Huh I don’t get it?" Lyra looked at the doctor.
"Don’t listen to him remember that bad man Hendricks was talking about. This is him." Dr. Hood eyed the Admiral and their guard closely. "He killed Hendricks."
Lyra gasped and began to tear up.
　
Two ships landed in the courtyard of Canterlot castle. Soldiers poured from one of the ships aiming strange weapons all around them. Princesses Celestia and Luna stood nearby as the castle guard surrounded the invaders. The admiral, Lyra, and Dr. Hood exited the second ship.
"Are you to blame for the destruction of my lands?" Princesses Celestia asked the white armored human.
"I’m sorry for what has happened here." The admiral apologized "How bad was the damage?"
"First you use you rain fire on us then apologize?" Princesses Luna asked.
One of the soldiers approached the admiral "Sir we’ve lost communications with the Maelstrom."
The Admiral turned to the soldiers "Are you sure? What about the other ships?"
"They are reporting that its orbit is degrading."
"Pull the other ships back and have them keep the Maelstrom stable with gravity tethers." The admiral ordered.
"Sir if we pull back the other ships we won’t have any support on the ground."
"We are pulling out. Get your men back into the ship." The soldiers were shocked at the admiral’s order to retreat. They slowly made their way back into their ship. The admiral was left standing alone surrounded by the castle guard.
"You think you can just leave after what all you’ve done to these kind creatures…to Hendricks?" Dr. Hood asked.
He looked around to see the guards advancing on him.
"May I make a request?" The admiral asked the large alicorn.
"What is it?" Celestia held up a hoof the guards stopped advancing on the Admiral.
"Allow my men to leave unharmed. They were only following my orders. I’m the one at fault."
"Is this true?" Celestia asked the doctor.
"Well yes he is their leader." She explained.
"Very well they may leave but you will stay and receive your punishment."
"Thank you" the admiral said.
The ship full of soldiers took off leaving the admiral and his ship behind.
　
　
"Well now that…." The Admiral began as Dr. Hood knocked him down.
"I’ll make you pay for what you did." Dr. Hood said.
Lyra’s horn began to glow.
"Wait!" the Admiral said holding up his hands.
"Why, did you wait for Hendricks?" Dr. Hood asked. "See how far you can launch him Lyra."
"No wait…" The Admiral began to unlatch his helmet as Lyra hit him with a ball of magic. He slid along the ground and crashed into a nearby wall. "I’m getting tired of this magic thing…" he said as he stood up.
"Hit him again Lyra!" Dr. Hood looked back at Lyra. She was staring wide-eyed past her. "What’s wrong Lyra?" she looked back at the Admiral to see Hendricks staring at her wearing the Admirals suit.
"Miss me?" he asked.
"Hendricks?" Dr. Hood was surprised "I saw you and your helmet it was. How did you?"
"How close of a look did you take?"
Dr. Hood thought back realizing she couldn’t clearly see through the helmets visor. "So the admiral?"
"He won’t bother anyone anymore." Hendricks admitted.
"What about all the others?" Lyra asked
"Others?" The Princess　said confused
Hendricks explained the situation how they crippled the large ship and that all the other ships would retreat carrying it away with them. Hendricks continued to explain his plan to destroy the portal keeping them safe from any more invaders.
The two princess' managed to squeeze into the ship. Hendricks gathered everyone around a holographic projector.
"This is where we stand" He pressed a few buttons as a holographic image of the planet appeared.
"Woah..." Lyra said.
"The fleet is pulling out back to the portal...here." a pulsing dot showed the location of the portal.
"That's good then" Princess Luna said
"Yes but so long as that portal is active they will send another fleet more prepared this time." Hendricks informed the royal sisters.
"That's bad right?" Lyra asked.
"Yes Lyra it is. I suggest once the last ship is through the portal we destroy it."
"And how would we do that?" Princess Celestia asked Hendricks
"This ship is outfitted with a cannon powerful enough to punch through the strongest shields. It should turn that portal to dust."
"And you are going to do that?" Princess Celestia asked.
"Yes" Hendricks answered.
"That would leave you stranded here correct?" Luna asked.
"Yes" Hendricks looked at Dr. Hood then to the sisters. "Since both the Dr. Hood an myself are probably considered traitors. We were kind of hoping we could stay here.I mean I understand if you don't want us...."
Princess Celestia stopped him "Nonsense you both have proven yourselves as a friend to us we would be more than happy to have you here."
"Thank you." Hendricks and Dr. Hood said.

Hendricks landed the Admirals ship in the palace courtyard. Princess Celestia, Lyra and Dr. Hood met him.
"Well?" the doctor asked.
"It’s gone. Scanners didn’t pick up any other ships. It didn’t take much to destroy the portal one shot and it shattered."
"So that its then?" Dr. Hood sounded relieved.
"So are you both going to be my neighbors now?" Lyra asked.
"Yeah" Hendricks grinned at her then looked at the two sisters "So Princess now that I’m kind of out of a job. Are you looking to hire a space ship pilot?" He glanced at Dr. Hood "Oh and I’m sure she can do something too."
Princess Celestia laughed "I’m sure we can find something for both of you to do."
　

"You’re going to be late." Dr. Hood called into the other room.
"It’s a starship I don’t think I’m going to run into any traffic." Hendricks answered.
"Please take Lyra with you this time."
"Fine."
Hendricks went outside and walked to the house next door. The house Dr. Hood and he lived in was remodeled to suit their larger height. He knocked on the door then waited for the response.
"Hello there Mr. Hendricks" Bon-Bon said.
"I've told you . You can call me Hendricks or just Nolan if you want."
"Sorry. You’re here for Lyra?" she asked.
"Yeah I’m taking a flight to…" Hendricks was interrupted by Lyra
"Hendricks!!!" Lyra shouted as she came rushing down the stairs "Are we going to space this time? Hold on I got to get my stuff." She disappeared back upstairs. Bon-Bon and Hendricks exchanged looks at each other confused. Lyra came bounding back down the stairs with her saddle bag stuffed with various things and a fish bowl on her head.
"What’s with the bowl?" Hendricks asked.
"To go into space!"
"Lyra you've already been."
"Yeah but, I want to do it properly this time."
"You don’t need all of that, besides we aren’t going to space." Hendricks explained .
"Awwww….not even a little?" Lyra asked sadly
"Sorry the you know the Princess asked me to use the ship the help carry supplies to the areas hit by…the um other humans."
"Can we go in space later?" Lyra asked
Hendricks gave in "If we finish early maybe."
Lyra gave a squee "Can Bon-Bon come too?"
"That’s quite all right." Bon-Bon said. "I’d like to stay on the ground."
"See now come on let’s get going." Hendricks walked away from the house.
"See you later Bon-Bon I’ll bring back a souvenir if we go to space." Lyra waved to Bon-Bon.
Lyra trotted happily along side Hendricks as they made their way through Ponyville. Hendricks was slowly becoming a normal sight in Ponyville they now greeted him as one of the citizens.
"Good Morning." A passing pony said.
"Morning." Hendricks responded.
"Good Morning." Another greeted them.
"Hey." Hendricks answered again.
"Good…" A pony started.
"Hello there yes it is morning!" Hendricks blurted out continuing on while the pony gave him a startled look. Lyra giggled at him as they continued on.
"Not a morning person?" she asked.
"Something like that."
"Ahhh the space creature shows himself!" a voice called behind them
"Oh good lord not this again." Hendricks sighed.
The conspiracy colt eyed the human suspiciously. "Here to suck out our brains?!"
Hendricks massaged his forehead "No...like I said yesterday....and the day before that. I'm not going to suck out your brains, eat your hooves, or abduct all the bovine citizens."
"I've got my eyes on you." the colt slowly walked away then jumped behind a crate still observing the human.
Hendricks looked down at Lyra " Is there any way to get through to this guy? I mean who would believe this nut?"
Lyra laughed nervously " Yeah...uh lets get going don't want to be late."
　
　
　
Hendricks and Lyra reached his new ship that was parked　just outside Ponyville. Several colts were busy loading supplies into the ship.
"Everything ready?" he asked them.
"It is we even added that logo you wanted." The colt said proudly
"Really!" Hendricks was excited "Let me see."
The colt led them to the other side of the ship. "We followed your description purple with wings right?"
"She’s pretty." Lyra said.
"I don’t mean to be rude but, you painted a pony on the side not a human."
"You instructions said a purple winged female." The colt said. "We can redo it if you want."
"No that’s ok. I kind of like it" Hendricks looked at the purple Pegasus painted on the side.
　
Hendricks and Lyra entered the ship it was packed full crates. They weaved through them and made their way to the cockpit. Hendricks began his pre-flight checks as Lyra watched closely from the co-pilot’s seat.
"Can I count down?" she asked.
"Sure" Hendricks continued his checks.
"Okay…ten…nine." Lyra began to count.
Hendricks patiently waited as Lyra continued her count.
"Three…two…one…BLAST OFF!" she shouted.
Hendricks grinned while Lyra cheered as they flew over the forests around Equestria.

Comments

[Trigger Happy]

Quite a good ending If I must say so.

[Cmdr Brohoof]

1415468 Thank You

[Carpinus Caroliniana]

*Sigh* You just had to do that, didn't you? You basically reskinned Avatar and went "Humans Are Bastards - Except For The Protagonists Who Willingly Live With the Natives".

By the way, start a new paragraph every time someone new is speaking. And there were a lot of mechanical errors.

Bottom line of total story: Great plot idea and character interactions. Numerous mechanical errors. Disappointing Avatar-esque "Humans Are Bastards" ending.

Summary in sentence form:

Overall, I liked the plot and the characters felt believable (except the scene where Dr. Hood foolishly interacts with an unknown object [the portal] without any safety precautions). Unfortunately, the numerous mechanical errors were a serious hinderance to my enjoyment of this fic. Sadly, what really weakened this fic was the Avatar-esque "Humans Are Bastards" ending.

All in all, I give this fic a 6.5/10.

[DezzarTac]

You pulled the "Cheesy commander" string just to end the story didnt you? That commander should have destroyed more shit and gone out with a bang.

[Cmdr Brohoof]

1419849 Maybe I'll pull an EA and save it for the DLC.

[macoman1]

I.....must admit I didn't like it. Very anti-climatic IMO. oh well the rest of the story makes up for it.

[Silentwoodfire]

Quite the story, a tad short in places, but it got the point across quite well.

[Cmdr Brohoof]

4208520 Thank you.

[Nonchalant]

*cries because I just got started on a Lyra/Bon-Bon centric story named First Contact and this showed up in the "similar"tab*